by Shirley Wine
“You were hysterical.” Jared guided her to a chair. “I’ll go and make us a drink.”
After he’d gone Winsome sat staring at the hands clenched in her lap. So Harvey had known what Gaelen had done. She gave a ghost of a sigh as so many things finally made sense. His unhesitating assistance so she could leave.
She could see it all, very clearly.
Harvey had used her to destroy his son’s marriage to a woman he considered beneath a Grainger. He used her to cover up his grandson’s murder, to Winsome’s mind, a crime any as heinous as Gaelen’s.
Jared’s parents had gambled on him never lowering his pride and following his estranged wife and so never learning the truth. In that moment Winsome was filled with fiercest of regrets and the bitterest of fear.
She regretted the love she and Jared had lost.
Harvey, in engineering her return to Totara Park, had virtually guaranteed the truth coming out. Why had he done so?
A fragment of half-remembered verse echoed through Winsome’s tortured mind, the melancholy words echoing her own thoughts.
Had we ne’er loved sae kindly,
Had we ne’er loved sae blindly,
Never met—or never parted,
We had ne’er been broken-hearted.
Chapter Fourteen
“Winsome?”
She looked up and silently accepted a mug of hot chocolate. He sat down in the chair opposite and for long minutes there was silence as they drank, each engrossed in their own thoughts. Jared was first to break the silence. “We can’t let this stand.”
Winsome sighed softly staring intently into her mug of chocolate.
“I guess not,” she said at last and then looked at him, her expression grave. “But what can we do now?”
Jared drained the rest of his drink and set the mug down on a side table. “Tomorrow while Caroline has Lacey, I’m going to see Mother. I’d like you to come with me.”
Winsome’s heart leaped in her chest and seemed to lodge somewhere in her throat even though she knew that was physically impossible. “You want me to visit Gaelen?”
“Will you, Winsome? Please?” Strain etched his pallid features.
“What good will it do?”
And an unwilling sympathy surfaced. He was suffering. As hard as this was for her, for Jared it was worse. To know your mother had killed your child was bad enough. But to know your father had willingly covered it up was ten times worse.
Winsome knew with sudden clarity that they were in this together.
Matthew was their child.
“Pretending it doesn’t exist is not an option.” He ran an agitated hand through his hair leaving it standing up in unruly spikes. “I want you to confront Mother, hell I want to confront her. She has to realise we know, Winsome. And we have to make sure we protect Lacey.”
“You think Gaelen could try and harm Lacey?”
“She’s got away with it once,” he said grimly. “Who can even guess what she thinks? But I’m frightened our silence may encourage her to try it twice. We need to protect Lacey.”
The threat to her little girl was all it needed. “I’ll come with you.”
“Okay.” Jared looked no happier than she felt. “You’d better hit the sack. Clinton would have my head if he knew you were out of bed, let alone discussing this.”
She knew without being told that he needed some time alone.
In their bedroom she discovered that while he’d made them hot chocolate, he’d also remade their bed with fresh sheets. The small act of kindness warmed the chill that seemed permanently lodged around her heart.
But it was a long time before sleep claimed her.
.oOo.
“She’s lying.” Gaelen leaped out of her chair; face mottled purple, topaz eyes glittering. “It’s all lies, son. All lies.”
“I know it’s lies,” Jared said harshly. “But they’re your lies, Mother, not my wife’s.”
Winsome struggled to remain quiet and calm as Jared had requested.
Her hands itched to grip Gaelen’s throat and throttle the life out of her. She wanted to make her pay for her little boy’s death.
Her venomous glare made the breath back up in Winsome’s throat. How could Jared remain so calm, so impassive?
“You were always a fool. That sex-crazed slut betrayed you with your own brother.” Gaelen’s vicious ugly words echoed. “Why not try thinking with your brains instead of your gonads.”
When Gaelen looked at Jared, a shiver crept over Winsome’s flesh. He was no longer her adored son. And this knowledge filled Winsome with uneasy apprehension.
“Thank you Mother.” Jared’s icy formality fairly crackled with tension. “Slandering me and my wife does not answer my question. Were you looking after Matthew when he drowned?”
A crafty expression flashed across Gaelen’s face. Jared was wasting his time. She would never slip up and incriminate herself.
“Is that what she says?” Gaelen glanced at Winsome. “She would, wouldn’t she? Any mother who could read some trashy love yarn while her child drowns, will naturally try and cover her tracks.”
Don’t believe her, Jared don’t let her plant fresh doubts.
“Is that so?” he asked softly. “I will always believe my wife, Mother. And you should know that yesterday, Quentin, and I had legal affidavits drawn up and filed for safe-keeping.”
Gaelen took a sharp breath her hand clenched against her breast.
“The documents outline your murder of Matthew and Dad’s culpability in helping you cover it up. Should anything happen to any of us, they will be used against you. Make no mistake.”
Jared walked across to Winsome and helped her rise and put his arm firmly around her shoulders and together they faced Gaelen.
“We also filed Trespass and Non-Molestation Orders with the Court. You will be arrested if you try to approach any member of our families or set foot on our properties. And I will never cross your threshold again.”
As Jared’s harsh words faded the colour ebbed from Gaelen’s face leaving her old and drained.
Winsome was devoid of compassion. This woman had killed her baby son.
Gaelen’s mouth worked but it took several tries before she could speak. “You can’t do that, Jared. You’re my son, I love you.”
“Matthew was my son and I loved him.” Jared stared at her, unforgiving. “How could you do it, Mother? How could you drown your own grandson?”
Gaelen bristled and came up fighting. “I thought better of you, Jared. How could you take her word above mine?”
It was too much.
Winsome pulled away from Jared and stepped closer to Gaelen. So close their noses almost touched. Fear flared in Gaelen’s eyes.
“Jared would take my word above yours, any day. You’re a cruel, vindictive bitch who gets her thrills torturing others. And so brave. It takes such enormous courage to drown a tiny, defenceless little boy who thought his Grandma treasured him.”
“How dare you? How dare you speak to me like that?” Gaelen backed up several steps.
“Oh I dare. Does Matthew’s last cry, that tiny cry of pure terror disturb your sleep?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Gaelen backed away.
Winsome followed, step for step, her eyes filled with a mother’s terrible need for retribution.
“Oh yes I do, Gaelen. Yes, I do,” she said with sinister softness. “May Matthew’s cry haunt you every moment you draw breath. And know this, God is waiting for you and His mills grind slowly, and grind exceedingly small, he waits with infinite patience and with exactness grinds He all.”
Gaelen gave Jared a hunted look.
“Come, sweetheart.” Jared put a protective arm around Winsome’s shoulders and turned her towards the door. When they reached it he looked over his shoulder. “Have a good life, Mother. “It’s more than Matthew can enjoy.”
“Jared, Jared, you can’t do this,” Gaelen cried as they left.
Winsome closed her eyes, drained. That terrible interview had sapped all her energy.
Gaelen would deny it to her dying breath.
Jared gripped her knee but she was too used up to respond.
.oOo.
Torn and upset Winsome lingered over tucking Lacey into bed.
She’d read her a story and settled to listen while the girl related her adventures, what she’d seen at the zoo, what she’d eaten for lunch until she’d fairly run out of breath.
“So you enjoyed your sleepover?”
“It was such fun,” Lacey bounced up and down in the bed. “Did you have fun without me?”
Hardly. But Winsome realised there was no way she could ever tell Lacey what had happened today or five years ago.
“We shifted all the heifers and fed out hay,” Winsome said softly. “And we saw a skein of black swans flying towards the coast. Oh and one of Fly’s puppies ran after us when we were on the tractor and we had to take it back.”
“Did you feed the hens?”
Winsome smoothed a hand over Lacey’s bright curls, her smile bittersweet. “Yes and guess what?”
“What?” Lacey sat up eager eyes shining brightly.
“One of the hens has gone broody and daddy’s going to make a special pen so we can set some eggs under her.”
“Why?”
“So she can hatch some chickens of course.” Winsome tickled the little girl until she was giggling and Lacey turned the tables and tried to tickle her mother.
They were tumbling around the bed shrieking with laughter when Jared came in to see what the commotion was about.
“I thought it was bed time,” he growled in a mock ferocious voice that made Lacey giggle and put her hands over her mouth.
“Mummy’s tickling me,” Lacey said squirming away from Winsome’s fingers.
“Is she now? Do you want some help to get her back?”
“Yay.” Lacey shrieked pouncing on Winsome when Jared reached behind her pinning her to the bed.
For several moments a light-hearted tussle took place and then catching sight of Jared’s face, Winsome remembered him laughing and playing, just like this, with Matthew.
Grief hit her with a sucker-punch. To everyone’s consternation, she burst into tears.
“Mummy,” Lacey wailed horrified. “What’s the matter we didn’t mean to hurt you? We were only playing, honest.”
Jared swiftly scooped Winsome into his arms and buried her face against his chest his other arm pulling Lacey into a tight hug.
“It’s okay, Lacey,” Jared said reassuringly. “We didn’t hurt Mummy. She’s just tired and easily upset.”
“Is she still sad over Grandpa?” Lacey asked looking worried.
“She is at that.” Only Winsome caught the doubled edged bitterness. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief tucking it in her hand. “Why don’t you mop up and I’ll tuck our little pumpkin in, okay?”
Winsome nodded, scrubbing at her face with his handkerchief, trying to stem the tears. She kissed Lacey and fresh tears filled her eyes when the little girl gave her a strangling hug.
“Don’t be sad, Mummy. “I love you. So does Daddy.”
But did he love her?
The scarifying thought made fresh tears threaten and not wanting Lacey even more upset, she kissed the child and swiftly left the room. She was twisting the handkerchief between nervous fingers when Jared found her after he’d soothed Lacey and settled her for sleep. Without speaking he crossed to her side and gripping her shoulders, turned her to face him.
“You have to deal with this,” he said grimly. “Unless you want Lacey permanently scarred.”
Anger, incandescent and white-hot, roared through her veins at his sheer effrontery. How dare he? “I have to deal with it? Your mother murdered my child and I have to deal with it?”
This Jared, tall and filled with a raw, barely leashed power, was a stranger. Winsome, with too many memories of being shabbily treated, was in no mood to read subtle nuances of body language.
“Perhaps I worded that wrongly.”
“Oh no, Jared. You worded it just right.” She pulled away from him pacing across the room. “The Lord of the Manor has uttered his decree and all the lowly minions must adhere to it.”
Jared scowled his eyes flashed fire. He looked formidably angry. Good. She was furious too.
“It’s getting a bit tiring, this innuendo that somehow the Graingers consider themselves above everyone else.”
“They not only consider themselves better than everyone else, they also think they’re above the law.” Winsome’s chest heaved with rage. “Do you expect me to just brush aside the inconvenient fact that your mother has literally gotten away with murder.”
“A murder that you helped her cover up, Winsome.” His brutal honesty made her tremble. “You never even tried to tell me what was happening in this house, so whose fault is it that Matthew’s death went unpunished?”
The question robbed her of words.
Watching him pace across the room and back, his restless movements betrayed his savage emotions. He lifted a hand and raked it through his hair and then came and stopped in front of her.
“How could I know his death was not just a tragic accident?”
“The day Matthew drowned, I was in deep shock. How could I tell you what had happened?”
A stricken expression crossed his face and he stopped pacing, catching her trembling hands in his. “And I never made that easier with my unfounded accusations.”
“No.” Winsome tugged her hands free and looked at him her expression wounded. “How could you believe I would ever let Matthew wander alone in the garden while I read a book? How could you?”
“Mother was crafty and clever.” He shook his head, plunked down into an armchair and looked at her with anguished eyes. “Why, Winsome, why didn’t you tell me what she was doing and saying?”
“I tried to tell you,” she said starkly, hands twisting in her lap. “I thought asking you to move into a home of our own was enough, but you were tied to your mother’s apron strings.”
A log fell in the grate and sparks flared, racing up the chimney. Jared’s eyes glittered at this accusation.
“That’s ridiculous. Mother insisted you’d never manage a house and young baby on your own. And this reinforced my doubts about your ability to cope.”
“You thought I couldn’t cope?” Winsome lifted a hand and rubbed the spot beneath her breastbone where an ache bloomed.
“Not exactly.”
“Not exactly what?”
“You were so young. I worried that living alone would place an even heavier burden on to you,” he said, the admission torn from him. “Mother suggested we wait, she was enjoying Matthew so much she didn’t want him to move away just yet.” Jared buried his face in his hands and his strong shoulders slumped. “How could I not have seen what she was at? I’m so sorry, Winsome. So damn sorry.”
The apology was too little, too late.
“I was your wife and you discussed it with Gaelen?” She asked incredulously.
Jared lifted his head and looked at her, his expression haggard.
“I thought we had all the time in the world to move into our own home. I thought staying here was making your life easier. Sheltering you, giving you a chance to enjoy being with Mother and Paige. How could I have been so blind?”
“I tried to tell you.” Staring at him, Winsome struggled to verbalise her thoughts, difficult in moments of stress. “How could you not know? Your parents wanted you to marry their friend’s daughter.”
His chin lifted and his lips thinned to a hard unforgiving line. “There was never a chance of me marrying any woman my parents picked.”
“Fair enough. But why choose me to be the sacrificial lamb?”
“Sacrificial lam
b?” The words exploded like the shot from a gun.
Jared leaped out of his chair and crossed the room in two strides and gripped her shoulders and hauled her upright, his chest heaving and his eyes filled with a feral glitter.
“I loved you, Winsome. That’s the only reason I married you.”
This did little to ease the years of anguish. “If you loved me, you would have left your mother and found us our own home.”
Jared let her go, and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I lived here, this was my home.”
“No.” Her chin came up defiantly. “You abandoned me here.”
“I did not abandon you.”
“Didn’t you? You had to know Gaelen was furious at you saddling her with a penniless nobody as a daughter-in-law.”
For several tense moments he just looked at her. Winsome resisted the temptation to look away. This was too important.
“At first I was wary,” he said slowly, obviously uncomfortable at being expected to justify his actions. “Mother accepted you, you seemed deliriously happy and my fears proved unfounded.”
For the first three months before Gaelen discovered those damning events of her early life, Winsome had been happy. But for the following two years?
“So you just relaxed,” she said bitterly. “You assumed everything was hunky dory here at the homestead and turned a blind eye to whatever you didn’t want to see. You betrayed me, Jared.”
“Don’t talk to me about betrayal.” Jared took several agitated steps across the carpet. “Every time my mother was unkind to you and you kept silent, you betrayed me, Winsome.”
Sadness seeped into every cell of her body.
“You make it sound as if you were the only one hurt,” she whispered raggedly. “I thought that together we were a “we”. And that with Matthew we were a family.”
Jared stared at her, his face paling under his outdoors tan. He crossed the space and caught her hands in his, holding them tightly.
“We were a family, Winsome,” he said roughly his Adam’s apple moving as he swallowed.
“I thought so too.” She shook her head. “And yet without Matthew, what we had just disintegrated. Maybe neither of us really knew the other.”