by Quinn, Taryn
“First and possibly last, depending how badly I screw this one up.”
“That’s the spirit. Positive thinking for the win.” She shook her head. “Seriously, Ry, you’re just in that initial panic stage. Sooner rather than later, you’ll relax.”
“I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure I won’t relax for the next eighteen years.”
“Well, that may be true, but—” She grew silent as Ally came careening around the other end of the aisle, her brows knitted together and her eyes wild. “What’s wrong?” Kel asked.
“Sage went to collect Star, but not fast enough. Now Alex is throwing up and he just splashed Laurie and she’s screaming like he tried to murder her. Seth is at his wit’s end. I have to go too. I’m so sorry.”
“Oh, no. That’s okay. We’re basically done. You’ve already helped so much.”
“Yeah, but I just remembered I drove us all here. I can drop you off on the way—”
Kelsey shook her head. “No worries. I’ll call Dare. He’ll be getting off work soon anyway. Go on, go home to your family.”
“If you’re sure. Thanks, Kel. Congratulations to you, Rylee.” Ally smiled. “Exciting times.”
“Thank you.”
It was only after Ally left that I realized she was the first person who’d congratulated me on being pregnant. As if it was a good thing rather than the scourge of the earth.
“Let me just call Dare—”
“Wait, I can call Gage—”
Too late.
Kel was on the phone with my brother-in-law, and that meant the chances of Kel spilling the baby beans before we arrived home were high. Either way, Dare would know by tonight that his brother was the irresponsible inseminator, but I’d prefer not to be there when the information was shared.
Asking Kel to keep a lid on it was pretty much useless. She would try. It was just her lips were about as secure as a child’s lunchbox.
Jeez, I was already thinking in kid terms. Children didn’t even have lunch boxes anymore, did they? Paper sacks or lunch lines were where it was at.
Along with getting pregnant, I’d plunged back into Little House on the Prairie times in my own head.
“He’ll be on his way in a few,” Kel said to me.
I tried to smile. Yay.
Once Kel got off the phone, we checked out her massive cart of stuff. We’d just made it outside when Kel’s very safe sedan slid up to the curb. The trunk lid lifted just before Dare climbed out. He took a look at Kelsey’s pile of purchases, then hurried over to help us load it all into the car.
“We havin’ twins and I missed it?” There was no missing the rumble in his voice—or the hard kiss he gave my sister before she had a chance to answer.
Romance was all around me. It took all shapes and forms, but it was there.
The passenger door opened and I blinked as Gage unfolded himself from the front seat. Somehow I’d missed him in my observation of my brother-in-law and my sister.
All of a sudden, I couldn’t stop watching how couples interacted. As if this was a subject I needed to dissect and master.
“Hey.” He didn’t so much as glance at the other two before striding over to me and planting one on me.
Not on my forehead.
Not a chaste little peck hello.
Oh, no, Gage brought it all the way home with soft, warm lips, a hint of tongue, and a low groan that made my nipples harden and my panties soak.
So, maybe I didn’t need romance. Maybe I’d just settle for another hard fuck. Hey, look at that pretty wrought iron park bench over there—
“What’re you saying about park benches?” He pulled back enough to laugh at me.
I pressed my forehead to his chest. “Just pondering you fucking me on one. Don’t pay me any mind.”
“Oh, I’ll definitely pay that some mind.” He trailed his fingers down the side of my face and tipped up my chin. “Baby shopping, huh?”
But he didn’t look at the big hulking store behind us. He kept his gaze on mine.
“For my sister.”
His thumb swept along my lower lip. He didn’t say anything, just kept rubbing and devouring me with his eyes.
And I liked it.
A lot.
“You two going to get a move on anytime soon?” Dare didn’t give us time to answer before he turned his back on us to open Kelsey’s car door.
Kelsey sent me an apologetic glance before shifting toward Gage. Her expression in his direction wasn’t nearly so friendly. “She’s probably tired. The first tri—” She licked her lips and darted a glance at Dare. “So, rough day at work?”
“Never mind that. What were you going to say?”
“You told her,” Gage said in an undertone while Kelsey stalled by playing with her maternity top.
I nodded. “She’s my sister.”
“You might as well just get it out in the open,” I said to her. “You know you’ll tell him before the night is through anyway.”
At least he’d have to say his rude comments to us instead of behind our backs.
“It’s your news to tell.” Kelsey pressed her lips together and slipped into the car.
“Dare, I’m pregnant. And your brother is the father.”
It was easier to say the words this time. Maybe by the time I reached my parents, it’d be as easy as talking about the weather. Assuming the grapevine didn’t reach them first.
Dare shut Kelsey’s door and shifted to face us, crossing his arms. But his focus was all for his brother. “So, you decided to take single parenthood for a spin?”
Gage reached down and took my hand, and I was grateful for the united front. Though I wouldn’t have minded hitching a ride home rather than getting in that car with our older siblings.
I felt very much like the high school kid who’d been caught climbing in a window past curfew, and I didn’t appreciate it one bit. From Gage’s tight jaw, he didn’t either.
“Does this look single to you?” Gage lifted our joined hands. “Looks like we’re in this together.”
“For now.” Dare shook his head and circled the car to get in behind the wheel. His slamming of his car door made me wince.
“He has no right,” Gage muttered. “I’m not a fucking child.”
“No, and neither am I. But no one thinks we can do this.” I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat. “Maybe we can’t.”
Fourteen
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
Dare giving me attitude was nothing new. In fact, I’d expected it.
Same with Rylee’s sister. She’d married my brother, hadn’t she? So, it wasn’t a stretch to think she’d see things the way Dare did.
But for Rylee to join in with them? It felt like a betrayal.
I knew she was scared. This was all so new to her. Hell, I was too. But what she’d said sounded dangerously like giving up. And Christ, we’d barely gotten started.
“No one gets a manual on how to have kids. Not even Oscar over there. He had to figure it out as he went along just like everyone else does.” I squeezed Rylee’s suddenly cold hand. “Just like we will.”
She didn’t get to reply before Kelsey rolled down her window. “Dare has to get back to the shop, guys.”
Even that held a note of reprisal.
Stop screwing around, kids, and get in the car.
“We could get an Uber,” I said to Rylee.
She tugged on my hand. “The car is already here. Besides, does Crescent Cove even have Uber? I’d think it would have to come from Syracuse and that would be forty-five minutes. And sorry, I have to pee.”
I didn’t remind her the store she’d just come from had to have a bathroom, since some women were touchy about public restrooms. Whatever. It wasn’t that long a ride. And Dare would probably temper his reactions due to witnesses.
Not that I gave a shit what he had to say. He was my older brother, and I’d always looked up to the guy, but I didn’t need any more grief about ho
w I was living my life. I was doing my best. It wasn’t as if I’d screwed up yet, for fuck’s sake.
Minus knocking up Rylee in the first place, but stuff happened.
We got in the back of Kelsey’s sedan. The silence lasted approximately until the first turn out of the parking lot.
“So, you going to let Mom and Dad know about the blessed event any time soon? Since I was just there and Dad sure didn’t mention you needing a car seat for your pussy mobile.”
“Nah, I figured I’d wait til Rylee popped and bring the kid to Thanksgiving instead of cranberry sauce. Surprise!”
Rylee was not amused by my comment. She punched me hard in the thigh and then tucked her hands under her arms.
United front? Okay then.
“It just happened,” Kelsey said in a low tone to Dare, clearly trying to calm him down.
Though why he was so agitated, I had no idea. He himself had knocked up Kelsey long before their marriage ceremony—hell, even before they were dating. As I recalled overhearing, he’d delivered her a pizza, with a side of dick. Who was he to act so high and mighty?
“Really? Though they interrupted our wedding with their shenanigans? I find that highly unlikely.”
My brother used to not speak. Now he was using words like “shenanigans.” I blamed Kelsey for this new and unwelcome change.
“She doesn’t mean ‘it’ just happened,” Rylee said. “She means we just found out.”
“What are your plans?” Dare asked as if his wife and her sister had never spoken.
I started to reply, but Rylee cut me off. Probably a good thing, because I’d been about to say some shit that most likely would’ve gotten me banned at the family dinner table for the foreseeable future.
“We’re still figuring stuff out. It’s all so new.”
“You’re going to have a child in that closet-sized apartment?”
“No, I’d planned on having it in a hospital. I’m not some earth mother type.”
Even I had to laugh at that one.
Kelsey cleared her throat. “He means it’s kind of a small place, Ry. But you don’t have to figure all that out just yet. The gestation period gives you some time.”
“Not that much time. If she’s going to need a new lease, rentals are full up in Crescent Cove, especially during the summer. She’ll want to start looking now.”
“Yeah, as soon as we get the kid’s college choice locked down, we’ll move right on to that. Chop, chop.”
No one responded to me. Not even Rylee.
Hey, what did my opinion on the subject matter? I was just the sperm donor.
“You’re actually probably right.” Rylee fiddled with the handle of the shopping bag I hadn’t noticed until right now. “I’ll have to make a budget and see what’s available. Of course I need a job. Money would help.”
“I’ll see if I can find out more about that receptionist position. That would be great for you, Ry.”
I frowned. “At the school?”
Kelsey nodded. “Yes, ours suddenly quit.”
Dare grunted his hard-won approval. “That’d be a good place to get in. Solid benefits and vacation time. Summers off.”
“She doesn’t need to work if she doesn’t want to. I have enough money if she wants to stay home and—”
“Excuse me, stay home? We haven’t discussed this. And while I appreciate you offering support to our child, I don’t need to be a kept woman.”
“We haven’t discussed it because it just happened.” With effort, I relaxed my jaw. “I’m not saying you have to stay home, just that it’s an option. It would make it easier for—”
“For who, you? When you’re off racing cars and leaving all the child-rearing to my sister?” Kelsey crossed her arms in a mirror of her sister’s pose.
“I’m done racing.”
“For now,” Dare added ominously as he braked for a light as slowly as a great-grandmother.
I said nothing. Why bother? If I’d said Rylee should get three jobs to support herself, I would’ve been labeled a thoughtless jerk. If I said I’d gladly support her, I was equally bad. I couldn’t win.
And she hadn’t even mentioned this receptionist’s position to me. So, yeah, what did my thoughts have to do with anything? Evidently, not much.
“We aren’t like you guys,” Rylee said after a moment, her voice surprisingly soft. “Dare knew what having a kid was like, and we’re really inexperienced. But we have good role models to watch and learn from.”
Kelsey shifted in her seat and gave Rylee a smile. “You’ll be just fine. It’s a learning curve for everyone. That book should help.”
Before I could ask, Rylee pushed the bag she’d brought with her into my lap. I pulled out the book and flipped through the pages while Kelsey and Rylee chatted about innocuous things like school assemblies and Kelsey’s upcoming baby shower.
Dare offered his usual grunts.
I had the misfortune of landing on the chapter that talked about some issues impending moms could have while pregnant. Cervical insufficiency and high blood pressure and hemorrhoids and excessive bloating among them.
Dear Lord, why did anyone inflict this on themselves intentionally? Not that we had, but people tried to have kids every day.
The changes a pregnant woman went through were insane. Bumpy areolas? Sensitive nipples? Which sounded okay from my end but not the way it was described. The aforementioned hemorrhoids and bloating, along with nausea and Rylee’s exhaustion. And that was if the pregnancy went well. If it didn’t, there could be complications and those were far worse.
“Are your nipples sore?”
I hadn’t meant to blurt that out—especially in mixed company—but this book was seriously messing with my head.
Rylee frowned. “Like right now?”
“Jesus, man.” Dare shook his head. “Seriously?”
Kelsey glanced back at me with one eyebrow raised. “You need to ease in with that book. Maybe read a chapter a day or something. It can be overwhelming.”
“I was on the first chapter. It’s terrifying.”
“Why?” Rylee scooted closer to me on the seat, and only then did I realize she wasn’t belted in. “What page are you on?”
“You need to be safe.” I shifted her back and leaned over her to grab her belt, notching it securely around her.
“Aww, that’s sweet.” Kelsey sounded pleased, but Rylee’s expression held no similar joy.
“Give me that book, Gage.”
I was already back skimming the page I’d been on. “Sometimes there’s leaking. I mean, what? Are you planning on breastfeeding?”
“Is this really necessary right now?” My brother sounded strangled.
I couldn’t blame him. I felt the same.
I’d been so calm and collected about this whole baby situation. Sure, I’d had my own private moments of flipping out. But ignorance was surely bliss, because holy shit, I’d had no clue of what this would actually entail.
Forget the whole eighteen years thing. Just the process of getting the baby out of her sounded like a horror show.
“This is why men don’t endure childbirth.” Kelsey surprised me by reaching back to pat my leg. I wasn’t sure how she managed it, because she was heavily pregnant herself and shifting around couldn’t be that easy. “Women have been doing this for centuries. It’s natural. In the old days, women used to go out in the woods, squat down by the river, and just let it fly.”
Dare met my gaze in his rearview mirror and I wasn’t sure which of us looked more wide-eyed. And he’d gone through childbirth before with his ex-wife.
“Shit, I’ll have to be in the delivery room?”
“If I have to be in there, so do you.” Rylee snatched the book back from me while I was lost in mental torment. “You play, you pay, pal. Just the circle of life. Also, my nipples aren’t leaking.”
“Mine do sometimes. But it’s rare,” Kelsey assured Dare as he cast her a sidelong look. “I still haven’t fi
gured out how I feel about breastfeeding. It’s such a personal choice.”
“You don’t have to tell them about it,” Dare informed her.
But Kelsey shrugged. “Eh, no shame in it. Why, at Baby Rama today, a woman just pulled out her breast in the stroller aisle and fed her kid. It’s a beautiful, natural thing. Just requires that cow balm stuff because when they crack, sometimes there’s bleeding and—”
I tuned her out for my own sanity. Also, she was my sister-in-law. I really did not need to think about the state of her nipples, whether or not she was speaking in hypotheticals.
By the time Dare dropped me and Rylee off at her apartment, he was obviously more than ready to drop Kelsey off at home and run back to the shop to hide in the comfort of broken carburetors and ailing transmissions. Anything was better than discussions of mucus and aching nipples and callused feet.
I still wasn’t sure what the last one had to do with pregnancy, and I didn’t want to know either.
Rylee went straight into the bathroom in her apartment and didn’t come out for a while.
So, with more than a little trepidation, I picked up the book again. I would have to learn this stuff, right?
Besides, if Dare could deal with all of it, so could I.
Kelsey had said it was beautiful and natural.
Just like sex.
Right.
Within half a chapter, I tossed the book aside and went into the kitchen to search for a beer. Or any alcohol period. I knew Rylee couldn’t drink right now, but she hadn’t known that until a few days ago and surely she’d had some kind of liquor on hand for emergencies.
Yeah, that was a no.
Still, I looked through her fridge anyway just in case. Maybe a snack would help. Making a sandwich was methodical. And I might be panicked as fuck but I could still eat.
Which was how I came upon the red Converse sneaker in the crisper. Next to a wilted head of lettuce.
Hmm.
I pulled it out and turned around just as Rylee stepped into the kitchen, rubbing her stomach.
“Well, guess it’s time for the nausea part of our program—” She fell silent and frowned. “Why do you have my shoe?”