by Quinn, Taryn
I had no practice at setting up a romantic dinner.
And a romantic dinner with a big news chaser, since Gage had said he had something important to share?
Yeah, I definitely had no idea there.
You’d figure after a couple of weeks of dating and basically living together—talk about putting the cart after the pregnant horse, but Gage and I were trying to make up for lost time—that I’d feel better about making a meal he might enjoy. But nope, I still felt as if I was mostly flying blind.
At least I wasn’t entirely clueless. Most men tended to enjoy manly meats as a rule. Kel had said when she wanted to celebrate something with Dare or lure him into sex, she made him pot roast and green beans with mashed potatoes. I wasn’t sure how that was a sex-conducive supper—I thought oysters were aphrodisiacs, not potatoes—but my sister had bagged herself the first Kramer man. She had to be wiser about such things than I was.
I flapped the plastic tablecloth I’d picked up at the thrift store over my small circular kitchen table and coughed at the dust. Homemaker of the year, I was not. I was going for quaint dinner atmosphere, not high society.
Good thing too, since my budget didn’t extend to such extravagances. The secondhand store served my shopping needs just fine right now. They even had baby stuff. I’d started buying a few things here and then and tucking them away in the hall closet. A package of unused blankets. A package of brand new sippy cups. And on the last trip, a bright pink elephant with a plaid trunk.
Not that I was hoping for a girl or anything.
So, yes, I totally was.
I still felt strange shopping for baby things, and not just because I’d only made it through the first few chapters of my new pregnancy book. I just couldn’t believe it was all really happening. Even after confirmation from the doctor that sperm indeed had met egg and all systems were go, I couldn’t help doubting that it could be true. I hadn’t had many physical changes yet. Those unfortunate fainting episodes, my jeans getting shoved to the back of the closet, some definite exhaustion, and that bout of throwing up that day with Gage all counted in the symptoms column. Still, nothing that screamed knocked up.
Well, other than how hard I was hitting the peanut butter. But I did that sometimes during PMS.
So much for neon signs. This preggo deal was stealthy sometimes.
Or maybe I still kept figuring someone would take away this little slice of happiness I’d stolen for myself.
I brought over the fat candlestick I’d also gotten secondhand and plopped it in the center of my table. Around it I placed a twisted sprig of flowers I’d, ahem, borrowed from one of Macy’s countertop displays. She’d had plenty.
The timer dinged and I hurried to take out my roast. I pulled it out of the oven and wrinkled my nose as I looked it over. Seemed a little overdone. Dry? I’d just call it charbroiled.
Macy had already taught me that in retail, how you presented things and the language you used made a difference. I’d picked up some of that stuff from my various jobs over the years, but Macy was running through the basics with me. As if we might just be partners someday.
Another thing I was afraid to hope for.
The carrots along the sides of my roast seemed pretty good though. I popped one in my mouth to test it and let out a little moan at the burst of honey sweetness from the glaze I’d used.
Cooking was never going to be a huge skill of mine, but maybe I could keep me and the kid alive while Gage was on the road without resorting to microwave everything.
Just microwave most things. And she’d be on pureed bananas most of the time for a while anyway.
There, see, I could think of Gage being gone as if it was any old thing. Just normal life.
Because I was certain that was his big news tonight. He’d given me a heads up with that email he’d received. He couldn’t pass up an offer to join a huge team. Why should he? Just to play house with the chick he’d accidentally impregnated?
Okay, so I was beginning to believe we were far more than that. Deep down, I was having feelings for him that weren’t the friends with benefits kind.
Ah, hell, who was I kidding? I was more than halfway gone for the guy.
That little quarter of an inch left around my heart was purely self-protective barbed wire. If I went all in, let’s just say I wouldn’t be able to blithely make him going away charbroiled pot roast dinners.
As it was, I might’ve been sniffling a bit that didn’t have a thing to do with the puff of smoke that came out of my roast when I carved it open.
Betty Crocker I was not.
I slid it onto the platter thingy I’d borrowed from my sister and garnished it with a few of the carrots—the ones that didn’t end up in my mouth. I shifted to finish up my potatoes and served them and my honey-glazed green beans just as the door opened.
“Honey, I’m home,” Gage called.
I laughed and sniffled a little more. Stupid smoke.
“Oh, you cooked? For real?”
“What gave it away? The apron?” I looked down at myself and grinned at the phrase about tongue-kissing the cook. That had also been a thrift store find. I’d probably better stay out of there for a while.
“Also, the delicious smells. What did you make? Oh.” He stopped halfway over to me and stared at the table. “You did all this?”
“You said it was a big night.” I shrugged. “So, I figured I’d play at being the little wifey—um, I mean woman.”
There was no missing how Gage’s gaze sharpened. His caramel brown eyes raked over me and for a second, I wanted to snatch the word back.
I wasn’t greedy enough to assume more than I had already was on the table. Not when he’d already given me so much more than I’d ever expected.
“It all looks wonderful.” He moved to me and cupped my shoulders as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. Then he gripped my chin and took possession of my mouth, slipping his tongue inside to toy with mine. How he could be so sweet and so commanding at the same time, I would never understand.
At least not when I was pooled on the kitchen floor.
“The roast is burnt,” I gasped once he eased back.
“Put more gravy on it,” he suggested before he headed toward the bathroom.
Huh. That was a good idea.
I’d just finished ladling the gravy over the roast and the potatoes when he reemerged. “Oh, crap, I forgot dessert.”
He licked his lips, eyeing me thoroughly. Under my apron and T-shirt, my nipples hardened to points. Didn’t take much lately, and Gage’s smolder worked like magic. “I think we can make do.”
“Celebration nookie?”
“You could say that. Or just anytime nookie. Or Gage-can’t-keep-his-hands-off-Rylee-because-she’s-so-fucking-gorgeous-he-can’t-breathe-nookie.”
I smiled and poked at the roast on the platter with my long-handled fork. Also borrowed from my sister. “You’re a sure thing. You don’t have to flatter me, Kramer.”
“Who’s flattering? I’m just telling the truth.” He came close and tugged me against him. “How do you feel about eating dinner while sitting on my lap?”
“I feel like that’s an exercise that has a limited time engagement.” I patted my belly and looked up under my lashes to find him doing that molten gaze thing again.
“All the more reason we should do it now.” He sat down and started to drag me to him, but I held him off, giggling and darting out of his reach.
Since I had a good idea of what his news involved, it was better if I kept my distance. I had rehearsed my speech, and if he was too close, I might not be able to pull it off.
If I even could at all.
“Ruiner.” But he smiled at me just the same as I sat down opposite him at the table.
“I don’t want to interfere with your digestion. Supper is the most important meal of the day.”
“I thought it was breakfast?”
“Yeah, but when are we ever up early enough to eat before lunchtime?”
“Oh, I’m up.” He grinned.
I rose and tossed a cloth napkin at him. I’d forgotten to add those to my dinner spread. Utensils too, which I removed from the drawer beside the stove. “You’re definitely up, but we aren’t worried about food before lunchtime. How’s that?”
“We have other priorities, what can I say?”
“Uh-huh.” I sat back down and dug in.
“Wow, this all looks great.” Gage cut off a piece of the roast and slid it through the pool of gravy on his plate. His face as he chewed and swallowed was fairly priceless. “Tastes it too.”
Since I’d just taken my first bite too, I had to laugh and wipe my mouth with my napkin. “Maiden voyage. Next time, if it comes out this way we’ll just order pizza.”
“We do get a family discount from the best place around.”
So silly how even the words family discount made a nice little glow take root in my chest. “We do.”
“The potatoes are delicious though. And the green beans. You got more carrots than I did.”
I wrapped my arm around my plate as I continued to fork up veggies and he laughed.
“Guess you need them more, since you’ve barely gained an ounce yet.”
“Tell that to my ass.”
“Oh, I will. I’m hoping to see it up close and personal again soon.”
The man made it very hard to stay guarded.
And fully clothed.
We ate companionably as we talked about our days. Me working with Macy and learning more about what it was like to be on the opposite side of the counter at Brewed Awakening. Gage working with his brother and enjoying seeing what kinds of different cars came into the shop. He was talking about a sweet cherry red Chevelle he’d done some maintenance on when I finished my last bite of pot roast and let ‘er rip.
“It’s all right, you know.”
Gage poured more gravy on the last of the potatoes. He’d really seemed to like them, which helped to make up for the fail whale of my pot roast. “It was really good. Just the potatoes are my favorite part—”
“Not dinner.” I gripped my napkin and tried to remember my speech. Somehow I’d forgotten how to start it off. “You can just say it. I promise I’m prepared.”
He sat back in his chair. “Not so sure about that. It’s a big leap.”
“It is, and I want you to take it. You deserve it. After all the wins you racked up, you should have a big team behind you and a chance to be at the top of the points standings once again.”
His mouth tightened. Instead of thanking me for my considerate response, he tilted his head. “You know about points standings?”
“I’ve been doing my research.” All things told, it was more pleasant to read about hot racing dudes than it was to bone up on hemorrhoids, thickening mucus, and swollen ankles. “You were a pretty huge fish. What the hell are you doing here?”
“Did it ever occur to you I want to be here?”
“Yeah, because it was a lark. I get that. You were bored with the same old, same old, but this has a chance to be something different. You can notch a place in history.”
“I already have a place in history, baby.” The lazy way he said it should have annoyed me, not make my panties wet.
Pregnancy hormones were detrimental to me standing strong.
“Yes, but that’s yesterday’s news.” I tried to pretend I didn’t see how his brows beetled together. I knew that sounded bitchy, but couldn’t he see that I was trying to be the bigger person here? “You know how quickly the public forgets you if you don’t stay front and center. Do you really want to bypass an opportunity to be on top again? Possibly bigger than you’ve ever been before?”
He took his time answering me. So long that I knew whatever he had to say would be a doozy.
I was right.
“I had a buddy who didn’t come back from a race one time. Car behind him clipped him and he bumped the car beside him and next thing any of us knew, he crashed into the wall.” Gage’s voice was hollow in a way I’d never heard before. “This was before any of the new security measures were put into place, but still. He had a kid. A wife. His whole life ahead of him.”
I wanted to take it all back. No. Don’t go. Don’t take the chance.
Don’t leave us.
A shiver went through me and I rubbed my forearms to ward it off. “There’s new security measures, you just said it yourself. It’s safer, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it’s safer. But there are no guarantees. And Jesus, Rylee, I have a kid on the way. Do you honestly think I want to be out there pushing my luck every day? Before, I didn’t see it that way. Rarely thought about the danger at all. Now I can’t help thinking of all I have at home.” He pushed his hand through his hair. “I didn’t understand why Dare quit. I didn’t get it back then. Now I do.”
Tears were constricting my throat and I wasn’t sure if I could force the words out. “You’re worried about us and I appreciate that so much. But if we hold you back from what we love, you’re going to resent us eventually. You won’t be able to help yourself.”
“Don’t you get it yet? I don’t love racing anymore.” He shoved his chair back from the table. “I love you, Rylee.”
Twenty-Two
Rylee stared at me as if I’d just shocked her down to her toes.
Because she was the most stubborn woman I’d ever known, I probably had.
I rose from the chair I’d pushed back and walked to the sink. I didn’t have far to go since her kitchen was the size of the bathroom in our new place.
My new place right now. But I still had hope.
I was stubborn too. Had to be to deal with Ry.
“Is this because I’m pregnant?” she asked finally.
I didn’t turn to face her because I was afraid I wouldn’t be rational. She tended to push all my buttons, and when I had my pants on, I didn’t always appreciate it.
“You mean do I love you because you’re carrying my child?”
“Don’t make it sound so…intimate.”
“It is intimate. Christ, woman. How does it get any more intimate than that?”
My beautiful pain in the ass didn’t respond.
“No, I don’t love you because you’re pregnant. I love you because you’re strong and smart and determined and I never know what you’ll throw at me from one moment to the next. And I love you because you want our baby as much as I do. You want to be the best parent you can be even though you’re scared shitless. Just as I am. And I love you because I’m clearly a little bit crazy.” I huffed out a breath. “That cover it?”
She pushed to her feet and started clearing the table. I still didn’t look at her, but I heard her doing it and it pissed me off. Then she slammed her platter on the wood. “We’ve only known each other since before Christmas. You can’t possibly love me yet.”
“No? Is there a date when it’s allowed? Tell me and I’ll pretend I don’t until then if it suits you.”
She surprised the hell out of me by laughing. “I’m trying to be reasonable.”
“Why start now?”
I expected her to rail at me. Instead, she laughed again. “You’re right. We haven’t been reasonable from the fucking start.”
“It’s still better than me delivering you a pizza. That’s only started like what, fifty pornos? And look at Dare and Kel. They’re blissfully happy and don’t give a crap what anyone thinks.”
“That’s the only dumb thing Kelsey’s ever done though. Well, minus dating Tommy the loser, but that’s over with. Me, I’m the queen of dumb moves. It’s so not the same.”
“You’re going to have to tell me what’s dumb about finding the love of your life and settling down and being happy. Because I’m not following.”
“What if you’re settling? If you’re confusing hot chemistry and cute baby toes with a lifetime love? How can we possibly know so fast?”
“How does anyone know? There’s no goddamn guarantees for anything on this planet, huntress, and e
specially not when it comes to finding the perfect person for you. Not someone who’s perfect, period, but perfect for you. Huge difference.”
“Super quick to say I’m not perfect, weren’t you?”
“No love goggles here, babe.”
I wasn’t surprised when the balled up cloth napkin hit me dead center in the back. I bent to pick it up and pitched it back at her. She grabbed it against her chest, screwing up her face until I was terrified she was going to cry.
But she surprised me one more time.
“I’ve always been jealous of my sister. Standard younger sibling story. And then she got knocked up by the pizza delivery dude, and that should be the stupidest thing ever and yet it turned into this grand love and she has everything. Absolutely everything.” Rylee’s chin wobbled. “There’s no way the same could happen for me.”
“You’re right. If you shut it down before we even have a chance to see what happens, it won’t happen. Not just for you, but me too. You’ll be denying us both.”
“You didn’t mention the baby.”
“The best gift we can give that kid is parents who love each other. But I won’t pretend for the sake of my child. That does no one any good, especially the baby.” I stepped forward and gripped her elbows, drawing her against me. “Luckily, I don’t have to pretend a damn thing. I love you so much I can’t think around it. Can’t be smart or reasonable or—"
She rose up on her tiptoes and our mouths met as if we’d designed it just that way. God knows she wasn’t quite tall enough to cover the distance if I hadn’t lowered my head. But I was craving the honeyed sweetness of her mouth and the flash of her dark eyes before she closed them and gave herself over to me. Her heart slamming beat for beat against mine as we fought our way through the kiss. Until there was just heat and hunger and a bottomless well of love that didn’t have a beginning and hopefully wouldn’t have an end.
I let go of her elbows and she wrapped her arms around my neck, boosting herself up so that her legs wound around my waist. And wrenched her mouth away from mine.
“I love you too. I don’t want you to leave. That makes me a shrew, I know, but I don’t fucking care. I want to be selfish and keep you for myself. The rest of the world got their time with you. Now it’s my chance and I’m taking it.” She framed my face between her palms. “Please, stay with me. Stay with us. If I have to get three jobs if this thing with Macy doesn’t work out, I will. I mean I have savings, but that only lasts so long. And if I get fired from two of them, I’ll get two more. We can make it work.”