by Ryan Kirk
When the monk began his testing Moriko’s fears began to dissolve. All he would do was hold his hand up to the child’s forehead. Whatever kind of test it was, Moriko was confident she could pass it. They went by age. Her two brothers and sister went ahead of her and each returned to their place at the table. When it was her turn Moriko walked up without fear, confident she would pass as they did.
The monk rested his hand against her forehead. She was surprised by the cold firmness of the man’s hand. It was as though he didn’t have a heartbeat. Moriko looked up at the monk. His eyes were as wide as saucers. Moriko became scared again, even more so when the man smiled at her. “Your daughter is blessed.”
Moriko watched her parents closely. Her mother held her hand to her mouth, but her father just nodded as if it was the news he had been expecting all along. “I will pack her things.”
The stranger held up his hand. “It will not be necessary. Everything she needs will be provided. She will be safe, and we will protect her from others and herself.”
Her father bowed again. “Thank you.”
Moriko’s mind was racing. She didn’t know what was happening underneath the surface of the conversation. It sounded like she was going to leave with this man, but why didn’t her father fight? There was no way he would let her go. She was his favorite.
Moriko started to protest, but the sounds died in her throat when she saw the expression on her family’s faces. There was no love anywhere around the table. They had all shifted away from her. They were scared. And angry at her. Why? Even her father, who had always been so kind to her, had a cautious look in his eyes. None spoke up to convince the man to leave her here at home.
She looked from face to face, seeking support, seeking someone who would ask her to stay. Just the previous night they had all been laughing at her faces around the table. Today she was a stranger who had wandered into their house.
Moriko started to cry. No one was going to help her. No one did help her.
There was silence in the room until Moriko felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up, expecting to see the smiling face of her father telling her it would all be fine.
But it wasn’t. It was the strange man. He was smiling a smile that wasn’t a smile, telling her it would all be fine.
Moriko followed the man meekly out of the door. She didn’t want to, but she also knew that there was no way to get away from this man without the help of her family. She climbed on the man’s horse, her quick mind numb. As they started their journey away from the only home Moriko had ever known, she risked one glance back towards her home, hoping that maybe someone had come to wish her farewell. The house looked warm and inviting, but not one family member was outside watching her leave.
The journey to the monastery was uneventful. The monk, whose name Moriko discovered was Goro, tried to engage her in conversation, but was stymied by her persistent silence.
She thought about trying to escape. There were opportunities, but Moriko didn’t know what she would do after. Her family was the only comfort she had ever known. There were no relatives or friends to escape to. Her only home had already closed its doors to her. The only open doors were to the monastery.
In her silence Moriko wondered what the monastery would look like. She imagined it as a grand castle with buildings rising high in the sky. It would be filled with wonderful people. The monks were very brave. All the stories said so. Maybe she just got a bad monk.
Her heart sank when they crested a small hill and the monastery came into view. It was a gray and dreary day, and the monastery itself was remarkable only for how unremarkable it was. The most distinguishing feature it possessed was a solid wall just higher than the height of an average man. The wall was made of wood, and as they passed through the gates Moriko was struck by how peaceful everything appeared. She had expected the monastery to be larger, more alive. The grounds were almost as dead as the barren plains outside the walls. The compound wasn’t large, and Moriko saw that it would be a short and easy sprint from one wall to the other. In one corner a group of youths about her age were exercising under the supervision of one of the monks. None of them appeared happy to be moving, but they also didn’t seem sad or angry. Moriko reserved her judgment, although the place wasn’t as exciting as she’d hoped.
They came to a stop and dismounted. A monk who had been working on some chores walked over to Moriko. He smiled a genuine smile, and Moriko’s heart lifted. Not all monks were like Goro. It was going to be fine. “Welcome to Perseverance.” Moriko looked at the monk with a question in her eyes, which was enough for him to elaborate. “I forget that not everyone is a monk. Although the monasteries don’t have names according to the outside world, the earliest monks after the war found it necessary to have some naming system to distinguish them. Monasteries were named after qualities the monks treasured. Although there aren’t many monasteries anymore the practice is still maintained.”
Moriko nodded, her attention still focused on her surroundings. One building stood above the rest, located as far away from the gate as was possible. It was the only building with more than one level and it was decorated with some of the most impressive and ornate woodwork she had ever seen. She assumed it was the most important building. There were four others, all of which were simple, unremarkable, and efficient.
The monk spoke again, and there was a new edge in his voice that caused Moriko to focus. “Don’t think about escape. I realize it’s all you’re going to think about for the next few weeks, but please try to avoid it. As you can see, the walls aren’t tall. The gate is shut at night, but it isn’t much more than an ornament. Our strength comes from our powers, and you can’t escape from them. Trust me.”
Moriko surprised herself by blurting out, “Why should I?”
“Because many cycles ago I was in your shoes thinking the exact same things. I tried to escape. I had a brilliant plan for getting away. The night of my escape I ran and put my plan into action. They didn’t stop me from leaving. Looking back on it now, I’m pretty sure that one of them watched me as I left, although I thought I’d gotten away without notice. They didn’t even try to chase me. They let me get a head start, just so I knew what I was up against. I never stopped moving, trying to get out of the range of their senses. I ran for two days, forfeiting sleep. But it didn’t matter. Two days later, after I thought I was safe, they came for me and brought me back. I still carry the marks from the punishment to this day.”
Moriko thought over his words. She decided that it was a good story, but she didn’t believe him. He noticed it too.
“Don’t worry. I know you’ll try to come up with your own plan, and you won’t listen to me. Few people do. But listen to the others. They’ve been through the same things, and some of them have tried to escape. Listen to their stories and then see if you will believe mine. I’m just trying to help.” The monk halted for moment, as if he had just noticed something that he hadn’t before. “Now, I must take you to the Abbot, for he wants to meet you.”
Moriko followed the monk without argument. As she suspected, they went to the large building at the back of the monastery. The inside was even more impressive than the outside. The carvings were elaborate and stretched throughout the entire frame and all the woodwork. There was more gold than Moriko had ever seen in one place before. Moriko, despite herself, was fascinated by the carvings and etchings and wished she could have the opportunity to look at them and study them. Sometimes in her spare time she enjoyed carving, but this was far beyond her ability.
She almost didn’t notice the man who sat in the center of the room. He was a small man, but when Moriko turned her attention to him, she knew immediately why he was the leader of the monks. Goro had been stronger than anyone she had ever met. Through their entire journey he never stopped glowing, and Moriko came to accept this was what monks were like. This was stronger. She had adjusted to being around Goro, reaching the state where she only noticed his glow if she searched for it. Facing
the Abbot she felt her heart begin to beat faster and her palms begin to sweat.
The Abbot sat cross-legged, engaged in meditation. Moriko almost jumped when he spoke. He had been sitting so still she had wondered if he was awake. “Moriko, I am glad you are able to be with us. I can tell that you are scared and angry and thinking about your family. I want you to know everything is going to be fine. We are going to take care of you here, and we’re going to teach you how to be the best person you can be so you can go around helping people like we do. I hope you think that sounds nice.”
Moriko thought that the Abbot’s monotone voice sounded more creepy than nice, but even her young mind was able to see the wisdom in going along with this man. “Yes, it does.”
“I know you’re going to think about running away, but please don’t. What you don’t understand is we need you here. People like us are special, and for the good of the Kingdom we need to take care of each other. There are rules here that will help keep you safe and happy. The first one, and one of the most important, is never to leave without permission. The world is a dangerous place, but in here you will be safe, and we will take care of you. The other students will let you know the other rules.”
Moriko nodded, unsure of what else she could do.
“There’s another reason we ask you not to leave. The world doesn’t understand the power you have. They are scared of you. It’s much safer for you to be here with others who understand you. If you go out into the world again before you are ready, I don’t know what would happen to you.”
Moriko thought of her family, not even seeing her off. The moment she had been tested she had been torn from her family as though she had never existed. They had let her go. They had wanted her to leave. She understood now.
“I’m the Abbot of this monastery. I want you to think of me both as a teacher and as a friend. I make sure that the rules are followed so everyone stays safe, but if there is something bad happening, or if you need help for whatever reason, rest assured that I will be here to help you out. You can always come talk to me.”
Moriko nodded again. She was confused. Everything about the monastery was wrong, and she felt like unknown horrors were heading towards her, but she couldn’t figure out what they could be. Everyone here seemed kind of a little weird. She didn’t like Goro at all, but he seemed to be the exception. Everyone else had been very nice to her. They had been nicer than her family.
Moriko’s head swam. She didn’t know what was right and wrong. The abbot saw her distress and decided to conclude the interview.
“I apologize for taking up so much of your time at such an inopportune moment. Of course, you must be exhausted after all the traveling you have done. You should get some rest. Some of the students will show you where to sleep, and after you have gotten some rest, we can help you write a letter home to your parents so you can tell them you are safe.”
Moriko shook her head. If there was one thing she was certain of, it was that she didn’t want to write to her family. They had wanted her gone and so she would disappear.
The kind monk who had brought her to the Abbot escorted her out of the building. He didn’t say anything, but he seemed happy to have Moriko there. The monk led her to one of the less elegant buildings Moriko had noticed upon her arrival. Inside she found a communal living space with a small kitchen, a dining area, and a number of beds. The monk motioned over to one of the other students who was cleaning their area. “Tomotsu, get over here.”
Tomotsu stopped cleaning his space and came over, giving both the monk and Moriko a quick bow. “Yes, sir?”
Moriko’s heart fluttered for a moment. Even with a shaved head and the plain robes of the Monastery, the boy was cute. He was very cute.
“Moriko, this is Tomotsu. Tomotsu, Moriko. Moriko is going to be our newest student. I would like you to take her around the monastery, tell her about life here, share with her the rules, and get her settled in.”
Moriko looked at Tomotsu curiously, her childish heart leaping to fantasies her head knew were silly. She wanted to ride out of the monastery with him. She guessed he was a couple of cycles older than her, maybe three or four. But he was tall and his shoulders were already broad. Even with the small age difference it looked like he could pick her up easily and throw her around. He could be the boy who rescued her. They could live together and raise a big family in a nice house. . .
“Moriko?”
Moriko startled. She had gotten lost in her dreams and didn’t realize the boy had been trying to get her attention. She looked at him and nodded.
“So, they got you too?”
Moriko nodded. She was finding it challenging to know which words to use around the boy. It was much harder than talking with her brothers.
“It’s tough. I know. We’ve all been through the same here. We were all taken from our families at one point or another, although usually younger than you. But don’t worry, life here isn’t bad. The rules are simple. Listen to the monks and don’t try to leave.”
Moriko gave the boy a hostile stare. She felt like her newly woven dream was fraying at the edges.
“It’s not something they tell us to say to newcomers. It’s something I’ve experienced, something a lot of us have experienced. Almost everyone tries. It’s scary at first. A couple of cycles ago, when I first got here, a couple of us tried to run away. We made it quite a ways, but they always get you in the end. The Abbot, he’s really strong in the sense, and he can always find you no matter how far away you get. When I got back, he gave me these.” Tomotsu turned around and raised his robes a little to display his back, which had narrow raised scars crisscrossing all over it.
Moriko shuddered. “Did it hurt?”
Tomotsu lowered his head and his voice. “Yes.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not. I still think about escaping sometimes, but there’s no way. Sure, you can get outside the walls, but they’ll find you. They can sense you no matter where you are. But life here isn’t too bad. The food is good and as long as you follow what the monks say, life is pretty comfortable. We don’t really want for anything, and they do make us stronger. Both physically and with the sense.”
Tomotsu took her out into the grounds. The five buildings were arranged in an arc opening towards the main gate. One building was a supply building, holding all the food and goods for the monastery. The other building closest to the gate was a training center that was used during the winter and during inclement weather. The next two buildings were living quarters, one for the students and one for the monks. Each held about fifteen to twenty people, so the monastery never had more than forty residents.
The main building was, as she had guessed, the home of the Abbot. It served several ceremonial purposes and was the center of all activity in the monastery. Students were not allowed in without permission until they became blood-sworn monks.
Moriko suffered from a sense of claustrophobia. Every day of her life the world had been open to her. She had explored woods and forests, free to go as she pleased. The world was large and wide. The monastery was small and confining. She couldn’t see over the walls. She wanted the trees more than anything else right now.
At the end of their tour, which didn’t take very long, Tomotsu offered her a bed next to his own. Nobody else was using it and he told her he’d watch over her and keep her safe as she got used to her new place. Moriko gladly accepted, childish love warming her heart in a cold place.
As Moriko was being shown around the monastery, Goro made a visit to the Abbot’s quarters. The girl concerned him. He needed the guidance of the Abbot. When Goro entered the sanctuary he saw the Abbot was in conference. He walked silently to a corner, knelt and bowed his head to the ground, his forehead resting against the earth. Nervous, he waited for the Abbot to speak to him.
The Abbot was finishing a meeting with a local official. Goro tried to listen in, but the two were close and the conversation hushed. He couldn’t make out what
was being said over the other noises of training trickling in from the grounds, but it was easy to see the Abbot ruled the conversation. The local official was bowing and nodding his head while the Abbot radiated an air of authority. Goro loved to watch the Abbot work.
Goro tried to keep his smile to himself, but when he failed he didn’t worry. No one would see with his face pressed to the ground, the perfect image of obedience. Almost everyone who came to the monastery, no matter how great, was humbled by their visit. Although different monasteries operated differently, Goro was pleased to be part of one whose respect and knowledge were so well preserved. He knew from his travels that some other monasteries sealed their doors to the world.
He thought the idea repugnant. There was always a debate occurring between the abbots about the role of the monastic system. The monasteries faced a unique set of challenges. They were the sole proprietors of the sense, a power coveted and feared by all governments and people. They were also mandated to remain out of secular affairs, which in practice meant staying out of politics. It was this mandate which caused consternation at the abbot’s council. Some abbots believed that the monasteries should remain separate, opening their doors only when necessary.
Perseverance, to Goro’s delight, was involved in the affairs of the world. Not in a way that broke the letter of the mandate, but other abbots had questioned the spirit of their work. The Abbot of Perseverance made himself available to the locals on a limited basis and the monks were often dispatched to local regions. A monastic escort ensured safety from bandits in the region, and the Abbot supported local leaders who would keep the monastery well-supported. Perseverance’s abbot did not get directly involved in the affairs of government, but he was without doubt the most powerful person in the region.