by Ryan Kirk
On this journey they had changed from their typical disguise. Shigeru pretended to be a down-on-his-luck minor lord, and Ryuu his son. It allowed them to wear their swords out in the open.
Ryuu’s thoughts were further diverted by the sudden discovery of someone else using the sense. It felt like someone was trying to shine a light into a dark room, overpowering the shadows with light. Ryuu had never felt the sense used like this. It felt crude. The man using it was a ways off, but his path would cross with theirs. Ryuu glanced at Shigeru, but Shigeru kept to his path. Ryuu followed suit. It was always another test. The monk passed them, offering no acknowledgment of their presence. Ryuu didn’t need the sense to observe the fear the monk inspired in the people. Empty streets managed to become even more deserted as the monk passed.
Ryuu couldn’t help himself. The monk carried himself better than most, but Ryuu felt he had nothing to fear from the man. His use of the sense was rudimentary, like a child. He sent out his sense, contrary to everything Shigeru had ever told him to do.
The monk continued on without seeming to notice them. Ryuu saw the tension seep out of Shigeru’s shoulders. Shigeru had been ready to draw his blade at a moment’s notice.
“Don’t ever do that again.”
“I could have beat him.”
“I know. That’s not the point. It brings attention to us, and attention brings armies to our doorstep. Secrecy is our best defense.”
Ryuu struggled. He had all these powers and no outlet to use them. Shigeru made it clear if he did, he would die. It was unfair.
“He didn’t even know I was sensing him.”
“They weren’t trained as you were. I don’t want you to tempt fate. Don’t worry. I have the feeling you’ll run into them soon enough.”
Ryuu disagreed. He wanted to use his powers. Now wasn’t soon enough.
After the monk was gone Ryuu was able to relax and take in more of his surroundings. They weren’t heading into the center of the city but were staying near the outskirts. Ryuu observed they were getting into parts of town with more and more businesses. It took him only a quick breath with his sense to figure out they were moving into the section of New Haven that dealt in prostitution.
Ryuu was confused. He knew about sex even if it wasn’t something he and Shigeru spoke about. He was a young man and his needs were growing, but it had always been academic to him given that he lived in a hut in the woods with only his surrogate father for company. He wondered if they had come for sex or if they had another purpose. His teenage imagination began to run away from him, fantasies clouding his reality. He was also nervous. He didn’t have a lot of experience with girls. There were a handful in the nearby village, but Ryuu had little to do with them.
Shigeru, after having known Ryuu a lifetime, must have sensed his apprentice’s thoughts. “It’s not what you think.” He gave a small half-smile. “At least, not quite.”
Ryuu relaxed a little, but was also disappointed. If not for sex why were they here? His curiosity and imagination ran far ahead of reality, stopping only when they reached a three-story building with red lanterns on the outside. Shigeru led him inside. There were two guards whom Ryuu reached out to sense. They were strong, stronger than anyone he had encountered in the streets thus far, but he thought he could still kill them if he had to.
Shigeru knew where he was going and the guards didn’t bother to stop him or give him directions. Ryuu followed him to the second floor where they knelt in a small receiving room. They were greeted by a middle-aged woman who moved with power and precision. Ryuu didn’t sense anything special about her, but she was strong in her own way. Ryuu caught Shigeru’s glance of disapproval and immediately withdrew his sense. He still wasn’t sure when it was appropriate to use his powers.
The woman, although she moved with grace, was conflicted about something. She kept glancing at Ryuu with the slightest hint of suspicion in her eyes.
After pleasantries that seemed to last forever, Shigeru spoke. “You got my letter?”
“I did. Your offer was a very unique one, and coming from anyone else, I would have doubted the sincerity of it,” she paused. “Frankly, even coming from you, I doubt your motives. The girl is worth a fortune.”
Shigeru bowed his head in understanding. “I know she is spoken for. If nothing else, trust I would not cross Nori.”
Madame inclined her head. Something in his inflection had caught her attention. “That’s the first time you’ve ever lied to me. I don’t know what kind of man you are to be so bold, but I accept your offer. Perhaps it will benefit both of us.”
Shigeru nodded and addressed Ryuu for the first time since entering the room. “I’m going to leave you for a while. I’d prefer it if you don’t try to go looking for me and instead spend your time focusing on your education here.”
Ryuu understood. Shigeru didn’t want Ryuu trying to sense him although that might be difficult. Ryuu was so sensitive, so used to Shigeru’s presence he couldn’t help but sense him. But he’d try, at least. He was very interested to see what his “education” would look like in the next few hours.
Madame struck a small gong softly and a young woman, probably five to ten cycles older than Ryuu, came gracefully into the room. She was without doubt the most beautiful woman Ryuu had ever seen. The village they lived near didn’t have anyone that compared to her. She was tall and slender, but her gown only masked her lithe strength. Her hair shone and her almond eyes looked calm and peaceful, like you could look into them and lose your concerns forever. She bowed to Madame and to the guests, and Shigeru nodded one last time at Ryuu and left the room.
Ryuu had to stifle his laughter. Shigeru’s energy had spiked to incredible levels when the woman had walked in. He had initially thought Shigeru didn’t want him sensing him because he was going to do something secret. Ryuu supposed what happened in a bedroom should be secret, but he had expected something different. If Shigeru didn’t get himself under control, there wasn’t going to be anything Ryuu could do about it though. His mentor was throwing off enough energy to heat a block of this city in the winter.
Ryuu’s musings were interrupted when Madame struck the small gong again. Ryuu’s world closed in on itself as Takako entered the room. A couple of moments ago Ryuu would have claimed the woman with Shigeru was the most beautiful person he had ever met. He couldn’t believe he had been so wrong. Takako was a slender beauty and Ryuu couldn’t imagine her equal.
She looked to be a little older than Ryuu, maybe by two or three cycles. She was tall with long dark hair that put the night to shame. Her physical beauty was incredible, but it was her eyes that drew Ryuu to her. For no concrete reason he could explain, he knew she had seen much sadness. But despite the sorrow her eyes were lively and excited and nervous. She seemed vulnerable but strong, someone who could use his protection but wasn’t helpless. A reason for him to be strong.
Madame introduced the two of them and nodded slightly to Takako. She offered her hand to Ryuu, which he took after a moment’s hesitation. Her touch was softer than anyone, her fingers delicate yet strong. She led him to a small room with a bed, some mats to sit on and a low table. The room had a slight sweet scent and was warm although not uncomfortable. In short, it seemed like the perfect place to enjoy the company of Madame’s ladies.
They knelt by the table. Ryuu didn’t have the slightest clue how to proceed but was determined not to look like a fool in front of this girl. He knew she was a prostitute and was paid for her services, but he still wanted to prove himself to her. It was irrational, but he wanted to impress her. He tried to shake himself out of the train of thought, but rationality did not rule his actions as long as her eyes were on him.
Takako prepared the tea and Ryuu noticed a slight tremble in her fingers. He frowned and tenderly extended his sense. Shigeru seemed to think he shouldn’t, but Shigeru was distracted and there was no harm. He was surprised. She was more afraid and more nervous than he was. She lacked clear intention.
Her actions were muddled because of her fear. Given what he was sensing he was surprised she was able to serve him at all.
His boyhood curiosity crashed through his facade. He dropped any pretense of knowing what he was doing. “Why are you so afraid?”
Takako’s eyes shot up, fearful. “How do you know?” She stopped herself as she realized she had just confirmed his question and lost control of the situation. Ryuu could see her berating herself.
Ryuu laughed at the awkwardness of the situation. Everything fell into place in his mind. The sense was a tool, but it didn’t give the answers. Shigeru and he trained often on interpreting what the sense was telling him.
“Let’s just say I’m pretty observant. Let’s have some tea and you can tell me what’s going on here.”
Takako gave him a look which he couldn’t decipher, but Ryuu knew that behind that face her mind was churning, considering alternatives, figuring out how to act next. But then her mask dropped and Ryuu knew he was looking at Takako as she was, not as she was expected to be. Her trembling stopped, and she poured the tea, speaking as she did so. “This is my first time with a man alone, but Madame told me I am not to sleep with you. The agreement was only for us to spend time together.”
Ryuu nodded. He suspected something similar although he was disappointed sex wasn’t going to be a part of his afternoon.
Takako pulled a small slip of paper out of her kimono. “She gave me this packet to put in your tea.”
Ryuu sniffed at the packet. He recognized the smell as part of his training with Shigeru. It was a mixture that wouldn’t leave a taste when mixed with tea. He would have felt fine for long enough to have a decent conversation, but then he would have been fast asleep with no ill effects when he awoke. Shigeru had taught him how to use it to put a target to sleep for a time without the target suspecting anything was amiss. The time it took the powder to take effect usually masked your own guilt.
“So you were to converse with me for a while but make sure I was asleep before the evening became sexual?”
Takako turned a little red. Ryuu had thought she couldn’t have gotten any more attractive, but he had been wrong. “Yes.”
Ryuu sighed. But it was hard to be upset with a girl so beautiful. “Well, I can do better. We can talk for as long as you like and I won’t try anything untoward.”
Takako giggled, then immediately tried to stifle it. “I don’t think you’d have a chance. It’s cute you have a sword, but I am promised to another man. If you try anything I’m supposed to give a signal and the guard outside will be here in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I’m afraid you’d be cut to little pieces.”
Ryuu restrained himself. Being so consistently underestimated was frustrating. But his training held. Shigeru had drilled it into his head that his abilities were not for bragging even if it meant sacrificing the chance to impress this girl.
Ryuu began asking questions, curious about this new person in his life. He hadn’t realized how desperate he was for company besides Shigeru. How old was she? Where did she originally come from? How did she get here? Ryuu had always assumed prostitution was something one wanted to do, or something lower castes did as a way to advance their social standing. He had never really thought there might be other stories, stories where people didn’t have the chance to choose their path. The reality tugged at him in a way he couldn’t understand.
It was because Shigeru had always given him choices. When they were training Shigeru would give him orders, but in day-to-day life he never did. Ryuu knew he always had a choice. Even the training was a choice he had made. It got under his skin as he listened to a story where choice wasn’t an option.
It was when Takako got to the part where she was promised to Nori’s son that he couldn’t take anymore. He stood up and paced the room. He was agitated and found he wanted something better for this girl. He tried to remind himself she was a prostitute, but she was also a person, and Ryuu couldn’t process it. The warmth of the room grew constricting. He wanted to draw his sword and cut something, just to act. But he knew better and stayed his hand.
He sat back down, angry. “It isn’t fair! You’ve never done anything wrong and yet you are promised to a man who doesn’t even know you. You should have a choice! There is always a choice!”
Takako held up her hand to calm him as she shook her head. “You may be right, but that is the way of the world. We don’t all have the options to choose. I have no choice and there is no escape for me. If I left the house, I would be killed, and my family also for not paying their debts. This is the only thing left, so my only choice is to act honorably and attempt to make the best of it.”
“No! You have to fight!”
“I have nothing to fight with.”
“There has to be another option. Can’t you buy yourself back or something?”
Takako laughed. “You really shouldn’t worry about this. Thank you for caring, but my fate is as inevitable as all fate, simply just a bit more apparent than most people’s. It is not yours to be worried about me.”
Ryuu couldn’t leave the subject alone, and in time it managed to irritate Takako. Ryuu could see his anger grated against her acceptance, but he couldn’t stop. He was too angry.
In frustration, she leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the lips. It was so fast he couldn’t process it, but it shut him up as he tried.
“Look, I’m thankful that you care so much. It says a lot about you, but you need to be able to let it go. It’s an important lesson I’m still learning. You need to be able to understand what you can change and what you can’t. You shouldn’t even care for someone like me. You’re rich and have the world in your hands. I don’t know exactly what your father intended from this exchange, but I suspect this isn’t going to be a meeting that will be repeated. Let’s not worry about what the future will hold and instead spend some good time together. I enjoy your company very much – it’s the most refreshing experience I’ve had in many cycles.”
Ryuu capitulated and allowed himself to be entertained by Takako. He found that like Shigeru, she had a strength in listening to what other people said. It made her easy to talk to and Ryuu began to wish he could talk to her day after day, pouring out his one big secret.
Their time ended too soon as Shigeru knocked on the door. Ryuu bowed all the way to the floor when he left, and he felt both Shigeru’s and Takako’s shock at his gesture. He left with his head held high even though he was torn up inside and realized his outlook on life wouldn’t ever be the same.
After leaving Madame’s they loaded up on supplies in haste and with a minimal of conversation. Ryuu found he wanted nothing more than to be at home with his thoughts. As they left New Haven Shigeru allowed Ryuu to spill out his story. When he was finished Shigeru continued walking without saying a word. Ryuu followed him for a ways but then stopped. “It’s not supposed to be this way.”
Shigeru turned. “It never is. The world doesn’t listen to us and it doesn’t follow any order. To believe this world cares, to believe that nature will somehow protect us, is utter foolishness. Nature is not good or evil. It just is. Takako is trapped by circumstance, and as it stands, I believe her attitude is noble.”
Ryuu was ready to explode on his master. How could Shigeru argue the world didn’t care? He could feel the pulse of the land through his sense just as well as Ryuu. Ryuu couldn’t believe in a world without purpose. It meant his parents had died for no reason, a meaningless death.
“But what is our strength for if we don’t help those who are need helping?”
Shigeru didn’t respond right away and Ryuu realized he was arguing a very personal topic. He saw Shigeru’s shoulders tense. Not for the first time he wished he knew more about his master’s history.
Shigeru spoke, his soft voice barely carrying to Ryuu’s well-honed ears. “I don’t have a good answer for you. Ever since I took you in I’ve been asking myself what I’m doing. When we return home, I believe it’s time for me to tell you my
story and how I came to be here. It’s not a good story, but I continue to hope it will turn out well. Perhaps that’s an empty hope. I don’t know how to fix the world, or even the problems of one young girl in New Haven. Perhaps I’m a coward for not trying, but maybe my purpose was to set you on the path. I don’t know, Ryuu.”
Shigeru paused, trying to find the next words, the perfect next words. Nothing came.
“I just don’t know. I don’t know what to do any better than the next person, and I hope you are old enough to understand.”
Ryuu was silent. Shigeru had never seemed so human to Ryuu. He had never displayed any weakness in almost ten cycles. Ryuu was thrown off balance. The world seemed to be spinning around him even though it stood still.
They continued their walk in silence. Ryuu was having trouble thinking straight. It was difficult to hold on to thoughts for more than a few breaths at a time. He had never really thought about his future, not with any seriousness. He already possessed enough strength to best almost anyone who might challenge him, but he didn’t know what he would do with his strength. A part of him dreamed about being a hero, saving people in distress. But who could he save, who was in distress? Was Takako?
Ryuu asked Shigeru if they could take a break for a little while. Shigeru studied him for a moment and assented, although with a warning.
“There’s a storm coming in. We should find shelter sooner rather than later.”
Ryuu looked into the sky and felt the wind against his skin. He agreed with Shigeru. There was a storm coming in, and it felt like it might be strong. But he needed to get his head on straight first.
They sat and Ryuu began by focusing on his breath the way Shigeru had taught him so many cycles ago. From there he pushed his sense outwards until he felt connected with the world again. Allowing his sense to roam was like being released from the tight confines of a cage. He felt like he could breathe again.