Reversing Over Liberace

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Reversing Over Liberace Page 25

by Jane Lovering


  I smiled, although he couldn’t see it. “Don’t worry, the longer you have to wait, the more spectacular it’ll be. I’m going to go and take this basque off in the bathroom, and then I’ll come and attend to you properly.”

  “Christ.” He shuddered and for a second I wondered if I’d misjudged. But he lay back and a lazy look came over his face. “Okay, but don’t be too long.”

  “I’ll just be a moment.” I went into the bathroom and hastily climbed back into my dress, tweaking it down so that the whorish nature of my underthings was more-or-less concealed. Then I tiptoed out. Crept across the thick, plush carpet with half an eye on Luke in case he’d managed to escape his bonds, and turned the door handle to release the lock. “Hey Luke, I’m on my way,” I murmured in my most seductive tones to cover the sound of the door inching open. I don’t really think I needed to bother. He was so far gone in his own exotic fantasy that I could have driven a herd of wildebeest through and he wouldn’t have noticed, straining his weight against the ties that bound him, jabbing his hardness ineffectually into the air.

  “Come…on…bitch…”

  “Would you like me to show you something, Luke?” I asked, teasingly. “Something that’ll really really shock you?” Just another few seconds.

  “Oh, God…yeah…”

  The door closed again and my mouth went dry. Shit, come on, Willow.

  “Okay.” I climbed onto the bed and pulled the blindfold free. For a second Luke blinked, seeing me fully dressed again, then his eyes focussed and he glanced over my shoulder.

  “Shit! You fucking fucking bitch!”

  Behind me, the room was nearly full. To my left stood a young woman with an acne-scarred face and a blank expression, beside her a middle-aged lady in an unfetching pleated skirt and seventies perm. On the other side of the bed a girl who didn’t look much out of her teens hoisted a child higher on her hip, two more women flanked her, both with equally pinched faces.

  “Hello, Luke,” said the girl with the child. “Say hello, Hugo.” The child obediently removed the thumb from its mouth and burbled something. It had Luke’s violet eyes and blond nearly-curls. “Looks just like you, doesn’t he?”

  I was impressed by her cool. And also, grudgingly impressed that Luke hadn’t instantly lost his erection, although flaccidity was beginning to arrive, his willy drooping like a sulking Dalek.

  “Smile.”

  Neil leaped forward from the throng and pushed between the women, clicking his camera over Luke’s body.

  “You fucker.”

  “And another one, for the dailies. Can you pop it up a bit for me, give me the full-frontal look? Ah, perhaps not, all right, dahlin’?” Neil gave me a wink. “Will that do, love?”

  “Perfect, thanks, Neil.”

  And there, in the second rank, stood Cal, with Ash, Katie, Jazz and Clive, all grinning fit to bust. “He ain’t all that big in the bathroom regions, is he?” Clive nodded towards Luke’s rapidly drooping appendage. “Wouldn’t need a wide angle lens to get that one in.”

  “Nah, perfectly normal aperture, mate.” Neil chuckled. “I ’ad to use a flash though, geddit! Flash?”

  For some reason I found this hysterical. The tension which had been holding us all broke. One woman burst into tears and ran out of the door, clutching a handkerchief to her eyes. The acne-marked girl let out a sudden scream and launched herself at Luke with a nail file in her hand and had to be escorted out by Clive.

  “I suppose you think you’re so fucking clever, don’t you?” Luke addressed the crowd, propping his naked body up on his elbows. “What is this, get-back-at-Luke day? You’re bitches, all of you. None of you worth a fuck in bed. You’re ugly, you’re fat, you’re too fucking old. I used to have to close my eyes to poke you…and you…” Now his attention was back on me. “If it hadn’t been for the money, I couldn’t even have got it up for you.”

  “Funny, I don’t have that problem.” Cal came and put his arm around me. “But then, I don’t have difficulties in that department. I hear that you sometimes have a bit of a case of Mr. Floppy.”

  Luke looked as though he’d been hit. “Who?”

  “Me.” Nadine. I hadn’t seen her. She’d been at the back of the room, behind Cal.

  “Dee-Dee? Oh Christ, look love, I can explain.”

  “No, I really think you can’t.” She looked frail, greenish-pale with huge dark circles under her eyes. “But I’ve been listening to these other women, they’ve all explained things to me. Charlotte told me how you tried to accuse her of having an affair so that you didn’t have to pay for Hugo. Melanie says you stole the money she’d saved to buy a house. Anna and Jemima said you were going to marry them, and you took their money. You swindled all of them.”

  “No, I…”

  But it was hard to listen to any kind of rationale from a naked man tied to a bed. “Do you know what we’re going to do, Luke?” Now I had his attention.

  “Oh, let me guess.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Tell me to go away and never do it again?”

  “Well, no.” Katie stepped forward. “We’re going to put all this in the paper on Tuesday, and Neil’s got contacts in the National Press, so we reckon we’ll be able to sell the story to all the dailies. Fraud Exposed—they’ll love it—and the pictures, oh, obviously we’ll have to have some fuzzy pixels over your fuzzy pixels.” Katie started to giggle but managed to carry on. “So, we think, by the time you hit the tabloids, your name and, er, face, will be well enough known that you won’t be able to do anything like this again.”

  “Probably get offered a deal presenting on Channel 4.” Trust Ash to stick his oar in. “I hear ‘Gay Guys Talk Sex’ is looking for a front man. You’d be ideal. Every boy’s wet dream.” And he licked his lips, making Luke widen his eyes in shock and turn his head away.

  “And, as a rather nice little by-blow, we should all come out of it with a bit of cash. Plus the York Echo is going to be the name on everyone’s lips for at least a week. Not exactly cutting-edge journalism, but good on the CV.”

  Apart from the girl with the baby and Nadine, the women surrounding Luke hadn’t said anything. They stood, as though modelling for Easter Island statues, grim-faced and totally still, staring down at him as dispassionately as women staring at the moon. Eventually the older lady with the bad perm spoke:

  “Did you ever love any of us?”

  Luke wouldn’t look up. “Do me a favour.”

  “So it was lies? When you called me ‘gentle soul’? You were making it up?”

  “And when you said that you’d treated my mother, and she’d talked about me before she died?”

  “You gave me the money, all of you. I never asked, made a point of never asking, you wanted me to have it!”

  The women exchanged a glance. I half-expected them to join hands and start chanting, and Luke’s head to explode.

  “So you don’t feel guilty?” This was one of the pinch-faced women. I saw that she wasn’t as old as I’d at first thought, just drawn and miserable-looking. “Not even a bit?”

  Luke snorted. “You could afford it. You don’t know what it’s like…”

  Without another word, the women left the room. Luke looked astonished. “Where’ve they gone, then?”

  “To leave you to your fate.” Cal said. “You don’t realise who that lady is, do you? Maybe you never knew.”

  “Jemima Horton,” Luke answered smartly. “I never forget an heiress.” He twisted sideways to conceal his groin from Cal’s frankly amused stare.

  “She’s also the sister of the guy who owns most of Fleet Street. If you’d lied just then, told her that you’d loved them really, in your own way, that they’d been special to you, then she could have put in a word for you. Maybe stopped your picture being spread over the tabloids by Monday morning. As it is, I reckon you’ll be lucky if they’ve stopped dragging up your exploits by this time next year.”

  “You’re shitting me.”

  Cal’s stare turne
d cold. “No.” Then he turned to me. “Let’s get out of here. It’s beginning to smell bad.” Everyone started to filter out, Nadine leaving after a long, long final gaze at Luke’s naked body.

  “Hey, Willow. You can’t leave me here!” Luke writhed on the bed. “At least unlock the cuffs, eh, babe? Come on, for old time’s sake?”

  I hesitated. Tried to think of a pithy leaving statement, but settled for “fuck off, Luke” before following Cal out of the door and into the corridor, where I leaned on the wall and panted with relief.

  Cal held my hand until I calmed down. “You were incredible there, Will,” he said. “Just incredible.”

  “I didn’t do anything, it was the others. How the hell did the boys manage to find them?”

  “Give Dix anyone’s email address and he can find their phone number. Don’t ask how, best not to know. We got hold of most of the women that Luke had done the bad thing with, these five were the only ones keen enough to stand up and be counted. Oh and Nadine, of course.”

  I shook my head. “Poor Nadine.”

  Cal smiled. “Oh, I don’t know. She was getting on quite well with Clive while we were waiting for you to give the nod. I don’t think she’ll be alone for too long.”

  Katie and Jazz bounced up alongside us. “Way to go, Will.” Jazz high-fived me. “That’ll show men that they can’t fuck you for money.”

  A momentary silence. “I don’t think that’s quite what you mean.” Katie pulled a face. “But we understand.”

  “I think,” I added.

  “Right.” Cal rubbed his hands together. “I’ve got this shockingly good recipe for Lamb Passanda that I’m really keen to try out on people who aren’t likely to die of it, so, all back to our place?” And he closed his arm around my shoulders, leaning on me slightly to keep his balance.

  Ash came alongside me. “So, where’ve you been then, you dirty stop out?” I asked.

  “You are so not going to believe it.” Ash leaned down to whisper. “But you know what Clay was saying? About Ganda’s inheritance?”

  “What, the waders stuffed with tenners were they?”

  “Better than that. While I was dumping them this guy came up to me—oh, gods, Will, he was gorgeous—and asked if he could have them. Turns out, he’s a shoe designer, right. His name’s Simon, he lives in Leeds, he wants to work on some designs based on my rubber waders and, I can hardly believe this myself, he’s invited me to help him.”

  “And you know what about shoe design?”

  Ash shrugged. “I can learn. Anyway, for Simon I’d learn to slaughter pigs with my teeth. I really think”—and he lowered his voice even further, with a furtive glance at Cal—“that he might be the One.”

  Without looking over, Cal squeezed my shoulder, very slightly. “I think that’s fantastic, Ash,” I said honestly.

  “Fantastic? It’s a bloody miracle.” We’d arrived at the cars by now. “Are you really going to leave that guy naked and tied to the bed, Will?”

  “Of course. He deserves it. Why?”

  My brother gave me a sidelong glance. “Do you think we should scare him a bit more? Just to make sure?”

  “What are you planning? Ash?”

  “I’m not going to do anything.” Ash turned round and headed back inside. “He is so not my type. I’ll just, you know. Where’s your guy with the camera?”

  “Neil? He’s over there. Ash?”

  “We wouldn’t want darling Luke to go off and get himself some lucrative TV work now, would we? I reckon a few secret, incriminating photos might make sure that that little scenario never comes to pass.” And Ash pulled off his shirt, motioned to Neil to follow him, and disappeared back towards the Honeymoon Suite.

  “You’ve got to admire a mind as devious as that.” Cal gave my shoulder another squeeze as we found the Metro hidden away behind a convertible Mercedes.

  “Yep. Not just bent, totally warped,” I said, happily. “Right. To the Lamb Passanda, Jeeves, and don’t spare the horses.”

  Cal doffed a nonexistent hat and muttered, “Yes, milady.”

  Sitting in the front of the Metro, as we led a procession of cars down the hotel drive, I closed my fingers around the matchbox in my bag and heard the slight, distinct rattling of the nose within. I slid open the tray a fraction and smiled inside.

  “What are you grinning at?” Cal risked taking his eyes from the road for a second.

  “Just my good-luck nose.”

  “Hey, don’t try to outweird me.”

  I closed the box up and let it fall back to the bottom of the bag. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Cal.” I rested my head. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” But in the back of my mind a tiny thought took wing. Ganda had known what I needed. Somehow. And it wasn’t what I thought I wanted. Wasn’t money, it wasn’t Luke—it was this skinny, dark-eyed lunatic currently hunched over his steering wheel, blowing imaginative curses at the traffic and occasionally throwing brilliant glances my way. Ganda had known, and somehow he’d got it for me.

  As Katie would have said, I was one lucky, lucky bitch.

  About the Author

  Jane was born some time ago, and has found living to be habit forming. She resides in North Yorkshire in Britain with her partner, Kit, five children, two dogs, four cats, two guinea pigs, a rat and some Giant African Land Snails. At least, that was the count this morning, there’s probably a hippo and a couple of anteaters as well, by now. She writes for her own amusement and has become quite used to her children banging on the office door and asking, “What’s so funny in there?” She has hobbies, of course, like any well-rounded individual, these include: the search for clean trousers, interrogating trees and laughing manically at passing motorists. She hopes one day to identify her true planet of origin.

  To learn more about Jane Lovering, please visit www.JaneLovering.co.uk. It’s a nice place, and you can wear your slippers. Send an email to [email protected] or join her Yahoo! group to get the latest news on Jane’s books, win stuff and chat with other readers as well as Jane herself, if she’s having one of her lucid moments. Just go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/janelovering.

  If you fancy some salacious gossip, a bit of gratuitous blogging and some lovely pictures, go to www.myspace.com/janelovering. Your brain will love you for it.

  Did you ever want to live a different life? Or actually have a life?

  Ellie’s Dream

  © 2007 Margaret Wilson

  The last thing Ellie Newman expected to see was her husband wrapped in the arms of a blonde. Talk about a wake-up call.

  With her son almost grown, her job a bore and a husband whose hobbies don’t include her, she is ready for a change.

  Out of the blue, Ellie gets a chance to live another life when she goes to New York City for the summer to escape her problems. She gets a job of sorts, pet-sitting for her friend’s cousin.

  She loves New York. The parks, the food, the museums, the clubs all beckon. The only annoyance is Seth, the beast who unexpectedly shares the apartment.

  Seth wants her to leave. Women are trouble and he needs to focus on his music. But she is hard to ignore, especially after they discover a mutual love of jazz. Ellie is up for a fling. After all, who can resist such a bad boy?

  Ellie’s Dream is about finding your heart, finding your passion and letting go.

  Enjoy the following excerpt for Ellie’s Dream:

  Seth and Marshall pushed their way through the crowd to the edge of the dance floor. They looked around for Ellie and Jamie. Marshall spotted them and pointed them out to Seth. Their bright red heads made them stand out in the crowd. As the couples moved, Seth caught glimpses of Ellie’s milky white thighs playing peek-a-boo with that ridiculous excuse for a dress. Then he noticed Jamie’s hands firmly gripped her sweet little bottom. And worse, Ellie hung on to his ass for dear life. Their hips moved together like a well-oiled machine.

  “I had no idea Ellie danced so well,” Marshall shouted in Seth’s ear. “They look amazing
together.”

  Just then the song ended and Jamie dipped Ellie back, her long white arm arched over her head as one shapely leg wrapped itself around Jamie’s hip. Jamie ran his lips down Ellie’s neck, over her chest and stopped at her waist. Seth’s hands clenched. Jamie righted Ellie and caressed the leg still wrapped around his hip.

  “What’s the matter?” Marshall shook Seth’s arm. “You look like you’re ready to explode.”

  “It’s hot in here,” Seth said through clenched teeth. Jesus, Jamie still had his hand on Ellie’s ass. Seth wanted to punch him out, gay or not. He was hot and hard. All he wanted to do was throw Ellie over his shoulder and get her out of here. Get her alone, rip that dress off and see what lay underneath. He shook his head to clear it and took a deep breath.

  As they returned to the table, Ellie saw Marshall at the edge of the dance floor. She pointed him out to Jamie. “I think he came to see you.” Then she noticed Seth behind Marshall. “Do you think they’re checking up on us?”

  “Looks like it. Seth seems quite smitten.” Jamie steered her toward the two men. “This could be our lucky night.”

  “Maybe for you. I’ve been talking you up to Marshall.” Ellie clutched Jamie’s arm. “He really likes you.”

  “He doesn’t even know me,” Jamie shot back.

  Ellie whispered in his ear. “He could get to know you.”

  “What’s up?” Ellie asked. They stopped in front of Marshall and Seth.

  “We wanted to get out of the apartment, get a drink.” Marshall held up a bottle of water.

  “I love Latin music,” Seth added.

  “But it’s not live,” Ellie protested. She pointed to the DJ. “I thought you’d prefer live music?”

 

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