I shouldn't have kicked him out.
No, I did the right thing. I don't need his help.
I wash up then lie back down and sleep claims me.
Chapter Eight
Shidan
As I storm out of Amara's building bijass fog clouds my thoughts. The urge to claim what's mine beats with every pulse of my hearts. I fight against it but I'm holding on by the tips of my fingers. Its primal and instinctual and so strong I have to get away.
Her lips were soft on mine and tasted sweet, like a delicate fruit that lingers on my tongue. My cock stiffens as the memory of her body pressing against mine consumes me. Leaving her is the hardest thing I've done in my life and the bijass rises vying for control. Why does she fight me? Why do I not just take her, make her mine?
Heat flushes through my limbs. My cock throbs. As I step out into the night rage is just a breath away. I want to destroy something. Anything. I want to take what's mine. The bijass demands it. Defend my territory. Destroy any that dare stand against me.
My muscles twitch, my hands ball into tight fists. I need a target. Something to focus my anger on but the street is empty. Pacing up and down it I see the ravages of time. The destruction that eats away at what was once a part of a great civilization. Sverre talks of it. Ladon does too. I don't remember it. My world before Amara was only me, surviving. Alone. The way it should be. What could be greater than me against the world?
It was a mistake to stay here. That's what is wrong. I've heard the tale of Sverre and of Ladon. They took their women and kept them alone, at least for a time. If I took Amara with me to my home, showed her how life could be if it was just the two of us then she'd see.
The glimmer of a plan forms in the fog. My home is nice. I can provide for her there. Make her feel welcome, protect her. Take her away from these others. They are the ones who make her feel she has to be strong. They put it on her, refusing to treat her as a treasure should be. Out there, in the desert where my home is, she would see how life can be.
This is no home. An empty shell of a memory. No comforts, no care, slowly dying while everyone argues and debates. These humans have time to hate because they don't know what it takes to survive. I know what it takes. I've survived, it's all I know. Great civilization. Who needs it? It did nothing for me. What I have, what I know, I've learned on my own. I tried listening to Sverre. He's an elder and supposed to be wise but his words have not helped.
Amara pushed me away. She stopped what she started. I didn't start it; she did. What Zmaj woman would do something like this? I can still feel the press of her soft mounds against my chest and now I desperately want to hold them in my hands. I could feel her heart beating. Her tongue, both rough and soft, the sweet taste of her lips. My prime penis pounds with need, demanding relief.
I will do it, take her away and show her how it can be. It's the only answer.
Turning on my heel, I about-face and move back the way I came but rounding the corner I stop in my tracks. Astarot approaches down the street. Rage erupts from deep inside and I see red. Astarot showed up here at the same time I did and we fought over Amara when I first saw her. I know he's not my equal in combat. I should have finished him that day but Sverre stopped me.
He walks with a swagger, his tail moving side to side, his wings rustling. He's after her again. I'm certain of it. No Zmaj walks that way unless he's looking to mate. The bright blue tinge on his scales screams for females to look at him. He's after my woman. He thinks to show me up?
Bursting into a run I spread my wings as I get close and leap. I cock my fist as I come down and strike him across the face. He isn't ready for my attack. As I hit him his head slams to one side, and he stumbles dropping to one knee. I don't give him an opportunity to regroup. I hit him with my other hand then swing my tail around and slam it into his ribs with devastating force.
"Leave her be!" I scream. "She's mine!"
Blood drips from his mouth. He looks up at me and grins, then his tail swings around and slams into my legs. I'm almost knocked off my feet. Stumbling backwards until there is a distance between us I regain my balance and drop into a defensive stance.
"Going to teach you a lesson boy," Astarot says.
"Try me," I hiss.
He lunges. I drop low and swing up as he comes in, hitting him in the gut. His air whoofs out as I rise into the punch, lifting him off the ground. He spreads his wings trying to roll with the hit. I swing my tail up and over my head slamming it down on his head. It's a stunning move. I know he'll be seeing stars after that blow. He drops to the ground and rolls away as I try to stomp him.
He comes to his feet in a low crouch. Raging, I storm forward, unwilling to yield an inch. I know he's here for her. He wants her. He wanted her when we arrived. How could anyone not want her? She's perfect, beautiful, and stunning. I see through his machinations. I won't let him get close to her.
"Nice punch," he says.
"Stay away from her."
"Who?"
He's pretending ignorance, treating me like a fool which makes me even angrier. Like I can't see the truth! We circle each other looking for an opening. Any sign of weakness. Behind me someone screams. I don't recognize the voice and don't care. Whoever comes I'll deal with them in the order they arrive and take them all out.
I jab and feint probing his defenses. He bobs and weaves. His wings spread part way and back creating a distraction, an illusion to fool they eye and make it harder to see where his hands are. It's a trick any young boy knows. It also distracts your opponent from your tail, the single most deadly weapon a Zmaj has.
"Who are we talking about?" he asks again. "Come on Shidan, talk."
"Amara," I hiss.
"Oh, her?" He seems surprised.
"Of course her!" I scream, lunging forward.
He dodges to the side as I grab. I catch part of his shirt spinning him around as I move through where he was standing. Jerking him in close we're face to face. I glare into his dark eyes.
"I'm not here for her," he says. "You're in the bijass. Fight it."
I punch him in the gut again with my free hand while holding him close so he can't roll with it. His eyes widen in shock as the air rushes out of his lungs.
"You can't have her!" I scream, pulling him up straight as he tries to double over.
I slam him against the wall of the building, cracking his head.
"Fine." He shakes his head to clear it. "I don't want her."
"Liar!"
"No Shidan. Damn it think. Clear your head, push past the instincts."
I try. Part of me knows he's speaking truth. I'm standing in the middle of a raging storm. I struggle to remember my name. The only certain thing is Amara. She is my rock. Reaching for her I grab on and use it to hold myself still in the middle of the blinding sand storm that tears me apart. The thought of her calms me and the fog recedes as my rage disappears as fast as it came.
"You can't have her," I say, but the conviction is fading.
He doesn't want her. How could this be true? He must feel the depths of my desire.
"I don't want her." He grips me by my shoulders, pushing back until I'm at arm's length.
"Why are you here?" I ask, suspicious, but the storm inside is calming, the fog receding.
"Here where?" he asks. "I'm heading for the main square to, uh, talk with Rosalind," he smiles and the scales of his face lighten in color.
Staring at him I search for any hint of a lie. There's something but I don't think it involves Amara. At last I step back.
"Okay," I say, rolling my shoulders and working the knots out.
Astarot cocks his head to one side rubbing his jaw. He's breathing heavy and blood trickles from the corner of his mouth. His dark eyes stare until I feel uncomfortable which makes me want to hit him again.
"She's the one huh?" he asks.
I look away rather than answer. He grunts then places an arm around my shoulders.
"I understand," he says. "How old
are you Shidan?"
I shrug his arm off and step away. "What does it matter?"
He moves up and walks next to me uninvited and unwelcome. Rather than start another fight I ignore him.
"Well it matters a lot," he says. "See, if you are as young as I think you are, you were what, not even in your teens when the devastation hit?"
I glance at him over my shoulder and he nods as if I told him everything he needed to know.
"Yeah, thought so."
"Why don't you leave me alone?" I demand.
"Because right now you need a friend," he says. "And I like pushing the limits. You think I don't feel the urge to take you out? Trust me, I do. I want to fight every other male I see but rather than give in to it, I push it. I tempt myself, put myself in situations where I have to face it head on. Sooner or later I'll master it and then it won't bother me any longer."
"You're insane," I say.
He shrugs and smiles. "Maybe."
"Go away."
"Yeah, can't do that."
Every fiber of me wants to hit him hard enough to break that smile, so he never uses it again. The urge is strong enough that a shudder runs down my spine and my hands convulse into fists. Glancing at him over my shoulder he walks with a swagger and confidence that rubs me wrong. The urge to destroy him bubbles below the surface of my control, ready to boil over into rage.
"What do you want?" I ask.
"Good question," he says, and looks like he gives it some serious thought before continuing. "Well you lost yourself to the bijass, that much is obvious. I guess I want to help."
"I don't need your help."
"Sure," he says. "But I'm giving it anyway, just the kind of guy I am I guess."
"Annoying?"
"That too," he agrees. "It didn't use to be this way. Do you remember?"
"No."
"Yeah, didn't think so. It wasn't so hard before. Also, when you feel the calling- well if the girl was a Zmaj she'd feel it too, so that made things much easier. These… humans, they're different."
He shakes his head and we walk in silence. I wait for him to speak again but he seems content to say nothing. At last the silence pushes me.
"What about them?" I ask.
"Hm?"
"The humans, how are they different?"
"Oh, right? They're so… enticing, aren't they?"
My irritation with him grows again causing my tail to shift back and forth faster. "Do you have a point?"
"Sure," he says.
"What is it!" Exasperation makes me yell.
"Be able to bend."
"Bend what?"
"Yourself," he replies.
"You make no sense."
"Sure I do, you just don't want to hear it yet. You'll get it, think about it. Be flexible. These aren't Zmaj women now are they? They're different, exotic, special even. If you're rigid, fixed in your ways and ideas, then you'll get nowhere."
"And now you're an expert on the humans?" I ask, mocking.
"Nothing like that, I'm just an observer," he says, ignoring my tone.
"I think I could come to hate you."
"Yeah, I get that a lot." He smiles then turns and walks off towards the town center.
Bend.
Whatever, he's as crazy as a bivo drugged on koren root.
Chapter Nine
Amara
I screwed up. I shouldn't have let things go so far with Shidan. Now he's being weird or maybe it's me. I don't know. What I do know is that now things are uncomfortable. He annoyed me before with his always being there, hovering, bumping into me every time I turn around but now it's like we can't meet each other's eyes. Every time we do he looks away.
My stomach fills with butterflies and it takes a while to realize that I'm nervous. My skin tingles, the hair on my arms stands on end, and everything seems loud. The room is closing in on me. There's not enough air, his presence fills the space. I can't find any place to look that I'm not seeing him.
"All right, we've need a solution," Rosalind says from the head of the table.
Focus on her. I'll take any distraction I can get. Something has to work.
"How bad is it?" Mei asks.
I can't help but notice Shidan looking at her and on top of the firestorm of emotions raging inside me there comes a sharp, stabbing pain straight into my chest. Looking from him to her then back again the look on his face pisses me off. I'm so angry I can't stand it. He shouldn't be looking at her like that!
"It's… bad," Jolie says, leaning back in her chair, very pregnant herself. "Calista is on strict bed rest and that seems to help. The problem is we don't understand what's going on. The interaction between our two species, the differences between Zmaj female anatomy and our own. We're working off of guesses and hoping that nature will take its course."
"Except nothing about this is natural," Gershom says.
Why is he even here? I think, rolling my eyes and resisting the urge to speak.
"That is not helpful," Rosalind says.
Gershom nods and shuts his mouth. Something passes between him and Rosalind and I have to wonder what's going on there.
"How's Ladon?" I ask.
The look everyone at the table exchanges says it all. The elephant in the room is Ladon, Calista's lover. While the Zmaj have had a hard time with learning to be social, since Calista's difficulties Ladon has been worse, or at least that's what I've heard. I haven't seen him in a few days.
"We need to figure this out," Rosalind says.
"That bad, huh?" I ask.
"Yes," she says.
"Shoot me straight, how bad?" I ask Sverre.
Sverre looks down at the table staring intently while his fingers trace a pattern. When he looks up, he meets my eyes and everything I need to know is right there. It's bad. Worse than bad.
"It is grim," he says.
I nod. "So do we have any ideas?"
"Since your expedition didn't pan out-"
"And Mark died," Gershom interrupts Rosalind.
"Yes and we lost Mark, limiting our options," she finishes.
Silence falls across the room. Most everyone stares at the table in front of them. Looking around I see each of my friends. Rosalind, imperial and strong standing at the head. Sverre stands next to her. Seated to his right is Jolie, her hand resting on her pregnant belly. It's obvious she's worried what will happen with her and her own baby when her pregnancy reaches the stage that Calista's in, which is just a few weeks away. Inga sits next to Jolie, silent and overwhelmed, tears shine in the corners of her eyes. Beautiful Mei is sitting next to me, tapping her fingers on the table. Shidan is on the far side of her, also next to Rosalind. Gershom is the only one present who I don't consider a friend. He's a douche, so he doesn't count. I bet he's a Star Trek Enterprise fan. He would be, dick head. Everyone knows it's the worst of the Star Trek series, Scott Bakula should have kept making Quantum Leap.
"So we're screwed? Just hope it all comes out okay?" I ask, my irritation rising.
I don't leave things to hope, assess risks and act. That's what I do. There has to be a better way.
"Maybe not," Rosalind replies.
"What?" I ask.
She bites her lower lip and hesitates then nods to herself. "The ship," she says.
"What about the ship?" I ask as everyone at the table looks at her confused.
"It might contain something that will help."
"Like what? I thought we scavenged what was worth saving off of it," I say, and a murmur of agreement goes around the table.
"No," she says. "We took what was necessary to survive."
"Right, like I said…"
"At that time," she adds.
It hits me like a light going on in a dark room. "There might be tech, we took nothing like that!"
"Yes," Rosalind says. "The Infantry medical bay was in the section of the ship we crashed in. There is military tech that could be helpful."
"What about powering it?" I ask.
; "I'm counting on you for that," she says. "There were small generators and the Medical Unit had self-sustained power. The condition of that tech or the viability of moving it is your area."
"If there's a small core generator that would help with our power issues. At least enough to power any medical equipment," I muse.
"That would make sense," Rosalind agrees.
"Hm, it could be bad though," I say as I think it through.
"What do you mean?" Inga asks.
"If there is a small core, great, we have a power source, but if there is damage to the core we're screwed."
"So nothing to lose right? Either it's working, or it's not, right?" Mei asks.
"Actually, a lot to lose. If it's damaged, it will leak radiation. The area will be a death trap."
"Oh," Mei says.
"Yeah, that's the bad," I say.
Rosalind bows her head and her shoulders slump. The weight of the decision is on her and we all know it. It's not a job she asked for and I know that. We follow her because she is who she is. Before the crash I only knew her by reputation. I would see her at dress parades or inspections on rare occasions but it's not like the Lady General and I traveled in the same social circles. It's a moment, a short one, then she looks up and meets the eyes of every person at the table.
"This is the only option we have," she says. "We have to take it."
"Fine. I'm going," I say.
"I'm going too," Shidan jumps in.
I glare at him but it doesn't phase him. He returns my glare while crossing his arms over his chest and lifting his chin so he's staring down his nose at me.
"We can't send our only engineer," Jolie says.
"I'm the only one that has a chance in hell of knowing what I'm looking for," I answer her.
"She's right, even though I don't like it either," Rosalind says.
"We should send a team, a human team. They could then bring back other necessary supplies," Gershom adds.
Jolie looks from me to Rosalind trying to find an argument. Rosalind focuses on Gershom and his idiocy. I lock eyes with Jolie, smile, then whisper to her.
"It's fine," I mouth.
Dragon's Love: A SciFi Alien Baby Romance (Red Planet Dragons of Tajss Book 3) Page 7