by Jenny Lyn
Now all she could do was notice things as a physician, making her brain withdraw from the conversation to instead work at putting medical puzzles together. She hated that she wasn’t able to turn that part of herself off long enough to simply relax and enjoy a nice evening with a terrific group of people.
After a delicious dinner of homemade lasagna, salad, bread, and birthday cake, everyone poured out onto the lush, expansive back lawn to play games with Sean’s nephew, Max. Erin was too stuffed to move, and since she’d worn a white skirt, she begged off playtime, instead perching on a low stone wall that surrounded the back of the pool. She sipped her wine and laughed as Max climbed “Unca Sean” like a tree.
After a few minutes of Erin sitting alone, Sean’s father walked over and sat down beside her. He was quiet for a while, both of them watching the raucous play in the yard.
“What do you have, Mr. Rembert?” She didn’t turn her head to look at him, thinking it would somehow lessen the directness of her bold question.
He chuckled. “I told you to call me Tom.”
“Okay. Tom.” Erin glanced at him then, but he continued to watch his children with a serene expression. “Is it serious?”
“Two blocked arteries and a partially blocked third. I found out three days ago.” Damned serious. He rubbed his hands down his thighs. “What did I do to give it away?”
“Not much, really. I’m just better at noticing things, given my profession. The perspiration on your upper lip when it was seventy degrees inside. You didn’t eat much at dinner, and the food was phenomenal, supposedly your favorite. Mostly it was your inability to look me in the eye once you found out I was a doctor.”
He did look her in the eye then. “I guess that happens a lot?”
“More than I care to think about. The healthy people are the ones who ask a million annoying questions. Truly sick folks avoid us at all costs. I don’t get that attitude when we can help them get better.”
“You’re also the bearer of bad news.”
Erin shrugged. “It’s an unfortunate part of the job’s responsibilities. I don’t think I have to stress to you the importance of getting the issue resolved as soon as possible.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Why haven’t you then?”
“The usual reasons—stubbornness, denial, work…fear.”
“Tom, it’s a relatively safe procedure, I can assure you. There are hundreds of them performed every day in hospitals the world over, mine included. Who’s your doctor?”
“Martin Stanhope.”
Erin nodded, recognizing the prestigious name instantly. “You couldn’t ask to be in better hands. I assume he’s warned you of the dangers in waiting as well?”
“He wanted to slap me in the hospital the day I found out.”
“And with good reason,” she said. “Your family adores you, and I know you feel the same way about them. I can see it on your face when you look at them. They’d be crushed if something happened to you.”
Tom nodded. “I know that too.”
“Then I think I’ve said all I can say, other than I’ll be glad to help out any way I can, medically speaking.”
He put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. “Thanks. I think Sean got very lucky when he met you.”
Erin smiled, watching as Sean tossed a foam football back and forth with Max. “That’s very kind of you to say, but I feel the opposite. I’m the one who got lucky. He’s a great guy—kind, dedicated, intelligent, easygoing.”
“He gets those traits from his mother,” Tom joked. “She and I were upset when he broke the news to us that he wanted to become a cop. But he’s always made us very proud, no matter what he was doing. Doesn’t mean I don’t still worry about him every day.”
“You wouldn’t be great parents if you didn’t.” Erin winced, hoping the comment didn’t prompt Tom to ask questions about her parents.
Instead, he must’ve noticed Sean casting curious glances their way while trying to disentangle himself from Max, because he said, “I’d be grateful if you didn’t mention my health issues to Sean. I don’t want him to worry, especially with his job. He doesn’t need the added distraction.”
Erin sighed, her own heart suddenly hurting. Even though he wasn’t her patient, she’d taken an oath that said she would respect any health secrets divulged to her. Plus he’d just asked her not to tell Sean, and it wasn’t her place to, no matter how much she cared for him.
She looked up at Tom as he stood. “I promise I won’t say anything, but please promise me that Monday morning you’ll schedule surgery. It’s imperative that you not put it off any longer.”
There was a ticking time bomb inside his chest, but saying so would sound awfully melodramatic. He knew, even if he was reluctant to deal with it.
“First thing Monday morning.” There was a rueful twist to his mouth when he smiled at her. “I bet you’re a phenomenal doctor.”
Erin shook off his praise, not feeling worthy at the moment.
Sean trotted over just as his dad turned to leave. They embraced among some good-natured teasing about Tom flirting with Erin, and once again, she felt her heart squeeze painfully. The mutual love and admiration was evident in their eyes when they looked at each other, the father/son bond strong and deep.
Losing her parents had been horrific. She didn’t want to see Sean go through the kind of grief she’d endured. Most everyone had to face that eventuality, but the ideal scenario was after the parents lived a long and fruitful life, not by foolishly postponing an important medical procedure that could, and probably would, save their lives.
A gray pallor had been cast over what had been a relaxing day spent getting to know an amazing group of people, the wonderful dinner she’d just enjoyed turning sour in her stomach. How would she ever mask the strain of the secret she now carried? Tom had somehow managed to do it. He’d revealed information to her as a physician, and Erin had made him a promise. That left her no choice but to keep it from Sean.
* * * *
Something was off with Erin.
Since they’d left his parents’ house, she’d been withdrawn, distant even. When he’d asked her if something was wrong on the ride back to his apartment, she’d given him a stiff smile and an excuse that she was just missing her job and her freedoms. Although he believed that to be true, he knew it wasn’t all that was bothering her. She wouldn’t maintain eye contact with him for long, and he’d questioned enough guilty people to know she was hiding something. She was under too much strain though, without him treating her to an unfair and inappropriate interrogation, so he’d have to let it go until she was ready to talk, if that time ever came.
He made a quick stop by his apartment to pick up clean clothes and check his mail. Erin perused his cluttered media shelves while he deleted messages on his answering machine from some of his buddies inquiring about a guy’s night out. Normally he’d be going a little stir crazy at this point with the desire for some male bonding time over a six-pack and poker or a rigorous game of basketball. Funny thing, he hadn’t been craving that outlet at all.
His gaze drifted back to the woman standing in front of his entertainment center, her head cocked to one side as she read the titles on his DVDs.
Sean’s family had fallen for her just as quickly and hard as he had. Each one of them told him so, discreetly of course, as they’d said their good-byes with long, warm hugs and promises of a return visit. He hadn’t expected any different. They were all good judges of character, even little Max, who’d wrapped his small, sweaty arms around Erin’s neck and delivered a sloppy kiss to her flushed cheek. He’d seen the tears well up in her eyes before she’d blinked them away.
Was that what her sudden solemnness was about? Family? Or more specifically, her lack of a close one, save a brother who lived in another state. Sean’s family could be overwhelming, especially since they didn’t know Erin’s backstory. He felt a sharp stab of remorse at being so selfish and thoughtless an
d walked over to where she stood. He eased his hands around her waist to pull her back against him.
“I’m sorry.”
She craned her neck so she could look up at him, frowning. “What for?”
“I didn’t think about how being around my family might make you miss your own.”
Erin turned in his arms and pressed her cheek to his chest. “Sean. The pain is always going to be there, no matter where I go or who I meet. Hiding from it only makes it that much more acute when it finds its way back in.”
He brushed his lips across the crown of her head. He wanted to soothe her somehow, spread her out across his bed and make love to her as if they had no promise of tomorrow. Worship her with his mouth and hands until they were both physically spent and sated. She needed the release and the distraction, and he was more than willing to give them to her.
Sex wasn’t the cure for anything, but he could show her with his body how much she meant to him. It seemed like their connection was fracturing and over something he couldn’t figure out. Sean hated feeling so useless to fix it, so he guessed he was reaching for the physical as a patch for the emotional.
He wound his hand through her hair, tugging hard enough to make her tip her head back for his kiss. She opened for him, prompting him to deepen it, stroking her tongue with his. Although she returned the affection, there was still something missing. Up until this point, she’d melt for him like chocolate on his fingertips. This time he felt her holding herself in check.
“We should get back and relieve Luke of housesitting duties,” she said.
It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her Luke was doing his job, but it was clear to him that she wanted to go home, back to where she felt comfort. He nodded in agreement.
On the ride back to her apartment she barely said three words, her eyes trained out the car window. Sean donned the dumb cap Luke had saddled him with, and even that didn’t draw a smile out of her as he followed her up the walk to her front door.
As soon as they were inside, she walked down the hallway and straight into her bedroom. Luke appeared perplexed by Erin’s subdued demeanor too. Sean shrugged, praying Luke would keep the “trouble in paradise” jokes at bay. He did, likely out of exhaustion more than restraint. Luke didn’t have a subtle bone in his body, the evidence of which Sean flung at his chest. Luke caught the hat with a snicker and dropped it on top of his duffel. He whipped the polo Luke had loaned him over his head and pitched it at his partner. There was some payback for the cap in the fact that the shirt now bore several fresh grass stains and a healthy dose of sweat.
“Did you catch a nap?” Sean asked him before Luke moved to open the door.
“A short one. This case has me too keyed up, man. I just have a bad feeling this fucker is onto us, and he’s going to strike in a different area. What if Erin’s not even a target, and her purse getting stolen at Blue was just coincidence?”
“You believe that?”
Luke plowed a hand through his dark hair, making it stick out at odd angles. “Shit, I don’t know. I’m sick of sitting around waiting for something to happen. Just fucking ignore me. Stakeouts always make me punchy after a while.”
“We need to keep trusting our gut,” Sean said.
He glanced down the hallway. Erin hadn’t made a noise since she’d disappeared into her bedroom. Luke wasn’t the only one feeling a bit jumbled. He was at a total loss over what to do about her. Maybe there wasn’t anything he could do. Could be she just needed some space.
Luke left and Sean locked the door behind him, then reset the silent alarm. He switched off most of the lights, save for one lamp in the living room, and padded down the hallway with his duffel of clean clothes.
When he entered Erin’s bedroom he found her propped against the headboard of the bed, her knees pulled up to her chest, and her phone tucked to her ear. She was talking quietly enough he couldn’t make out the words, but she didn’t look startled or upset by his intrusion. She said a quick good-bye and hung up, dropping the phone onto her nightstand.
“Tess, checking in,” she said, even though he didn’t necessarily warrant an explanation. It was none of his business who she talked to, but that didn’t stop him from being curious.
He nodded, fished a pair of clean underwear out of his bag before tossing it into a corner, then tilted his head toward the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower. You’re welcome to join me if you like.”
She rubbed the tops of her feet and stayed put. Sean swallowed his disappointment.
Turning the taps on, he stepped beneath the cold water, letting it shock some sense back into his brain. He should’ve known that sooner or later the bubble of contentedness he’d felt would burst. Being with her like this, despite the awful circumstances, had been the best week of his life. But it had to end eventually, right? It couldn’t be sunshine and amazing sex forever.
Sean braced his hands on the tile wall and ducked his head under the warming spray, letting the mild heat and pounding water work on the knots of unease in the back of his neck. His eyes sprung open when he heard the shower door release. He was pleased that a beautifully naked Erin had decided to take him up on his offer.
She reached up with one hand to cradle his cheek in her palm. “You haven’t done anything wrong, Sean.”
He pulled her close, his body stirring when their hips met. “Then what’s going on?”
“It’s a combination of things, I think—fatigue, uneasiness, a feeling of being useless.”
“Do I need to let you tie me up again?” He was only half joking, but was rewarded with a whole laugh. Her smile made something give way inside his chest, letting relief fill the void. He dropped a kiss to her jaw, lingering on her soft, damp skin.
The breath of her sigh warmed his ear. “No, I just need you to be you. The rest will work itself out.”
Chapter Twelve
Sean took his turn brushing his teeth, then sat down on the end of Erin’s bed and flopped backward, waiting while she dried her hair with a blow dryer. He passed a hand across the rough stubble on his chin, thinking he should’ve taken the time to shave. Oh well, it could wait till morning now. His eyes drifted closed, the steady hum of the device like white noise.
Arousal still simmered through him from their shared shower. If she’d shown even the slightest bit of interest in taking things further in there, he would’ve jumped at the chance, but sadly, she hadn’t, and he didn’t want to push with her being in such a somber mood.
The dryer shut off. He listened as she rustled around, putting stuff away before clicking the light switch in the bathroom.
“You sleepy?” she asked.
He opened his eyes to see her standing at the foot of the bed, naked. So the question was really a veiled invitation. “Are you kidding?”
Smiling, she climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. Sean was sorry he’d decided to pull on a pair of briefs. He cupped her face in his hands before drawing her down for a kiss, but she didn’t let him deepen it beyond a few lazy swipes of his tongue.
“You’re not upset that I wouldn’t let you fuck me in the shower, are you?”
He wound of strand of her hair around his finger and tugged. “I hope you know me better than that by now.”
“How well do you think you know me?” she asked, a sultry smile playing across her pretty mouth. She was testing him again. They were back to one of those strangely perfect moments like they’d had when they met in the bar—charged with sexual energy and a teasing sort of seductiveness that made his dick hard.
“I think you’d rather me fuck you here, on the bed, where I can take my time turning you inside out.” His deliberate words had the desired effect—her eyes grew smoky with desire, her cheeks flushed pink with arousal. And he’d wager the title to his car she was wet. He teased a puckered nipple with his thumb, pleased by her soft breathy moan. “I also think you were being cautious, that huge doctor brain of yours overriding any desire to get freaky on a slick, ti
le surface.”
She laughed and sat up straight, capturing his hands in hers to stop their roaming. “I could tell you some horror stories—concussions, stitches, bone fractures. Objects lodged in places they have no business being lodged in.”
That mental picture made him shudder. “Do they confess to having sex?”
“Occasionally. Most of the time they just sit there, both them and their partner wet-headed and tight-lipped, blushing so hard you check them for fevers.”
“I can’t imagine the things you see and hear,” he said.
“No worse than your job.”
“True.”
“You’re scary good at reading people, me included. No wonder you’re such a fantastic cop.” Her features tightened briefly, perhaps at the uncomfortable reminder of his initial reason for being with her, before she said, “Get me out of my head, Sean.”
Sean swallowed against a sudden intense rush of undiluted need that made his entire body feverish. His muscles tensed as if ready for a fight, before he forced himself to relax. Take a deep breath. There was no point in asking if she trusted him. She wouldn’t have thrown out the challenge if she didn’t. And without a doubt, getting Erin out of her head was indeed a challenge. She knew it as well as he did.
“I can do that too.”
He rolled her beneath him, capturing her mouth in a long, wet kiss. He drove his tongue between her lips, and his knee between her thighs. Erin tried to roll closer, but he grabbed her hip, pressing her back flat against the bed. He felt the shudder that worked itself through her body, heard the little whimper of longing she made in her throat.
When he lifted his head, hers followed, but he denied her another kiss. Her nails raked across his lower back. She wanted to get out of her head. He was about to take her someplace else.