“I had fun today, Mommy,” her little girl said, as she snuggled into her bed.
“Me, too, honey.” Michelle smiled. She kissed Madison and headed downstairs to start the schoolwork she’d put off all day.
Steve was just placing a file into his briefcase when she walked into the family room. “She asleep?” he asked.
“Almost.”
He reached for her and pulled her into his arms. Michelle rested her head on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat causing her to relax momentarily. Then she pulled back and said, “Gotta get my lesson plans started for next week.”
Steve moaned. “Can’t it wait until tomorrow? I haven’t seen you all day.” He pulled her back into an embrace and kissed her head.
She felt so torn. Though she would love to cuddle with her husband, if she didn’t get some of her work done tonight, she’d be busy all afternoon after church tomorrow. Then she’d miss a chance to spend time with Maddie again.
“Let me work for about an hour. I promise I’ll stop after that.”
“Okay, babe,” he replied. “Mind if I turn on the TV?”
“No, that’s fine. It won’t bother me. I’ll sit in here with you while I do my lessons.” Michelle gave him a squeeze, then retrieved her school bag from the coat tree and pulled out her lesson plan book and the grammar text. While Steve watched a police drama, she mapped out her goals and plans for the upcoming week. An hour melted into two, and it was almost midnight before she put her books away. Steve had fallen asleep on the couch, the remote control resting on his lap.
She gently slipped it out of his limp hand and punched the power button, silencing the late night news. “Come on, honey,” she whispered. “Let’s go to bed.”
Steve stirred from his sleep, rubbed his face with both hands, and got up. “Okay.” He grabbed the box of cookies from the coffee table and deposited them in the kitchen, then took her hand as they walked upstairs together.
“Guess I was more tired than I thought,” he said.
“Yeah. I’m pretty beat myself,” she agreed.
As they entered the bedroom, Michelle noticed that she hadn’t even made the bed. There was so much to do every day. She hoped she could keep things together at home while she tried to make a go of being a teacher. Pulling the covers into place from the foot of the bed, she recalled her time at the park with Maddie and smiled.
Tomorrow was another day. Maybe after church they could all do something together. But she did have a stack of grammar packets to score, too.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Amber had mixed feelings as the three of them approached Glen Haven. Jack was unusually quiet, and Ms. Blackwell was acting very business like and matter-of-fact. The place looked like a normal house, except for the wooden sign out front with its name displayed in green letters.
The evening clouds were rolling in, and their dark shadows contributed to Amber’s uneasiness. What would her mother look like, and how would she act? Amber was as much concerned for her brother as she was for herself. Mom had always seemed a little too emotional, and Amber could remember often reassuring her, when it really should have been her mother’s job to do the reassuring.
Would she be really quiet and weepy like the last time they saw her? Amber didn’t think she could handle another hour of watching her mother cry and try to explain to them how hard life was for her. It was pretty hard for them, too, and it was basically her fault that they were stuck in foster homes.
“When we first walk in, I’ll be talking to the housemother,” Bonnie explained. “Then we will go to see your mother in another room.”
“Are you sure she wants to see us?” Amber asked.
“You don’t need to worry about that. They wouldn’t have suggested this visit if your mom wasn’t ready for it.”
Amber noticed Jack biting his fingernail. She nudged him to stop, but he shook her off then shoved his hands into his pockets.
They walked up the steps to the large porch. Several rocking chairs faced the street, and a variety of potted plants gave it a welcoming, homey look. Bonnie rapped on the door and a gray haired woman in a flowery apron opened it up.
“Mrs. Greene? I’m Bonnie Blackwell from social services and these are Stacy’s kids, Amber and Jack.”
“So nice to meet you,” the woman replied as she gestured them to enter.
The house had a pleasant fragrance of homemade cookies. “Smells good in here,” Bonnie observed.
“I just finished baking a batch of my famous oatmeal chocolate chunk cookies,” she replied. “I thought they might be a nice addition to your visit. Stacy said you both love cookies.”
Amber felt Bonnie nudge her to respond. “Thanks,” she said as she watched Jack nervously looking around the room.
“Your mom is in our rec room, right through those doors. Why don’t you all just go on in, and I’ll bring the cookies as soon as they are cool enough to transfer to a plate.”
Bonnie escorted them through the swinging door and into a cheerful room with several sofas and easy chairs as well as an entertainment center housing a large television. Their mother was sitting in a rocking chair by the window, and she immediately stood up and came over to them.
“Oh, my babies!” She wrapped her arms around them both and drew them close. “I have missed you so much!” Then she pulled back. “Let me take a look at you.” She studied them both. “Jack, you look like you’ve grown six inches! And Amber, you are beautiful as always.”
“You look good, too, Mom,” Jack piped up, suddenly losing his nervous expression.
“Yeah, you do,” Amber agreed.
Amber noticed that her mom seemed flustered by their compliments, starting to smooth her hair and clothes nervously. It was clear that she’d spent time getting ready for their visit. Her hair was clean and curled, and she was wearing what looked to be a new outfit. She even had make up on. Amber couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her mom wearing eyeliner or blush. Maybe she really was getting better.
“Let’s sit over here,” Stacy suggested, taking them both by the hand and leading them over to a denim sofa that faced the entertainment center. She sat between them, squeezing their hands and repeating, “I have really missed you two.”
“That’s a pretty cool TV,” Jack said, pointing across the room. “Do you get cable here?”
“Of course they do, dummy,” Amber said, immediately regretting her remark.
It was silent for a minute. Just as Bonnie was about to say something, Mrs. Greene pushed open the door and brought in the cookies. “Here they are,” she said, placing the plate on the coffee table in front of them.
“Cool! Thanks!” Jack replied, helping himself.
Bonnie and Mrs. Greene chuckled, and Amber saw her mom smile.
“Would you like one, Amber?” Stacy asked.
Amber’s stomach churned. It was just too weird visiting her mom at this place and everyone acting like it was a normal thing to do. “No thanks.”
She felt her mother stiffen and loosen her grip on her hand. Here goes. Now she’ll probably clam up or start crying.
Instead, her mother took a cookie and turned to Jack. “How’s school going, sport?”
Amber winced. That was the term their dad used for Jack.
But Jack didn’t seem to notice or care. “Fine. I just got an ‘A’ on my last spelling test.”
“That’s great. Congratulations!” Her mom turned to her and asked, “How about you, Amber? How are your grades?”
“So-so.”
Stacy tried again, “How are your teachers?”
Amber shrugged. Why were they talking about this dumb stuff? “When do you think you’ll get out of here?” she asked.
Stacy was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know, honey. Pretty soon. They’re helping me get my medication levels stable.”
“Oh.” That could mean anything. “So, do you like it here?”
“Yes.”
“That’s good. It sucks where
I live.”
“Amber!” Bonnie said.
“Sorry. Just thought she might want to know.”
Her mom looked deflated. The smile she wore when they entered had vanished, and Amber could see the tears beginning to well up in her eyes.
Oh brother. Now I’ve done it again. She’ll start crying, and we won’t see her for another month. Whatever. I’m sick of pretending everything is fine.
Jack started biting his fingernail again.
“I know you’re eager to move back home, Amber,” Bonnie said. “Your mom’s doing the best she can to follow all the doctor’s orders and get the therapy that will help make that possible.”
Amber nodded, turning her thoughts to Adam. She pictured their spot on the beach and could imagine his embrace, his kisses, and the way his hand moved over her body. “Maybe we should go now,” she suggested.
Stacy blotted at her eyes, looking lost.
“I think that might be a good idea,” Bonnie agreed. She turned to Stacy. “We’ll try this again in a week or so. I’ll be in touch with your therapist.”
Stacy nodded and tried to smile. She squeezed both of their hands again. “I love you guys. Thanks for coming to see me.”
“We love you, too, Mom,” Jack said, throwing his arms around her neck.
“Yeah,” Amber replied as she stood up. “Get well.” She gave her mom a perfunctory kiss on the cheek and then turned and walked toward the door.
It seemed like forever before Amber could hear Cecilia take the kids into the bathroom for their bath. She’d been waiting for over an hour to sneak out and go to the beach with Adam. Finally she heard the water running in the tub. Grabbing her cell phone, she made the call.
“Okay, I’m ready,” she told Adam.
“On my way.”
She peeked out the bedroom door to be sure it was safe, then headed out to meet him at the curb.
When they got to the beach, Amber suggested they take a walk. It was a clear night with a full moon reflecting off the water’s surface. Adam took her hand and led her down the stretch of sand toward the lifeguard station near the lighthouse.
“How’d it go with your mom today?”
“Great,” she replied sarcastically.
“Sounds like it. Want to talk about it?”
“Not really. She’s her usual pathetic self. I doubt if she’ll ever be half a mom again. Not that I need a mom, but I feel bad for Jack. He really thinks she’ll get better, and we’ll all be back together – just one big happy family!” She sighed and looked up at him.
“What? What are you thinking?”
“I just wish we were a little older and could get a place somewhere. Then maybe we could take care of Jack or something.”
“Whoa. Sounds pretty serious to me.” He pulled her into his arms, and they stood silently holding each other as the waves lapped the shore.
“Yeah. Never mind. I’m just glad we can come here. It’s the only part of my day that doesn’t suck.”
Adam bent down and kissed her. She immediately responded, yielding to her craving for his love.
“It’s kind of light out here tonight,” he said, pulling away for a moment. “Maybe we should go up in the lifeguard stand where we’d have more privacy.”
Amber smiled. She pulled him in that direction.
Soon they were entwined in each other’s arms. “Did you bring it?” she asked.
Adam dug into his jeans pocket and swore under his breath. “Don’t worry. I’ll stop in time,” he promised.
But Amber went home feeling more than worried. A load of guilt along with the fear of becoming pregnant made it difficult for her to sleep that night.
The next day at school, she couldn’t concentrate on anything any of the teachers were saying. Even her friends had to repeatedly ask her if she was listening when they said something to her in the halls or at lunch in the quad.
She knew that she could be getting herself in a bigger mess than her life was already in. But that evening, as soon as it was safe, she found herself calling him again. The part of her that longed to be held in his arms was stronger than the part that told her to stop.
CHAPTER NINE
As Michelle sat praying for her students before the first bell rang Monday morning, Amber Gamble came to mind. She thought back to her conversation with Steve and his suggestion to have lunch with Amber sometime.
An hour later, the first period class was almost over, and the kids were packing up their books. Michelle patrolled the classroom looking for any messes left on the floor.
Walking past Amber’s desk, she paused for a moment. “Amber?”
“Yeah?”
“I was wondering if we could have lunch together today.”
“Why? Did I do something wrong?”
“No. I’m just trying to get to know my students better, and I thought maybe I’d try lunch with some of you.”
“Oh.” She hesitated, glancing around to see if any of her friends were paying attention, but they all seemed focused on getting their stuff put away so they could bolt out the door when the bell rang.
“So what do you think?” Michelle asked, breathing a silent prayer for a yes.
“Uh, yeah, sure. I guess that would be okay.”
“Great. Why don’t you come by here after fourth period and we’ll find someplace outside where we can eat and talk.”
The bell rang and the kids started to leave. “See you at lunch,” Michelle said.
“See ya,” she replied.
Five minutes after the passing bell for lunch, Michelle sat at her desk praying that Amber would show. With only a 30-minute break, they’d have precious little time as it was, but Michelle hoped it would lay the groundwork for building a relationship of some kind.
The clock ticked away, and she nibbled at her sandwich and chips. Please, Lord. Please prompt her to come.
As she turned her attention to her computer and began checking her school email account, the door opened, revealing a suddenly shy-looking Amber Gamble.
Michelle’s spirit soared. “Hi, Amber. Come on in.”
Amber approached her desk and stood there looking lost.
“Do you have lunch with you, or can I get you something at the cafeteria?” Michelle asked.
“I don’t usually eat much,” Amber replied.
“Well, I’d be happy to get you a burger or something if you’d like.”
“That’s okay. I have a candy bar.” She pulled it out of her backpack to show Michelle.
Michelle didn’t want to lecture her about her choice of lunches, so she just smiled and nodded. “My favorite kind.”
Amber smiled. “Mine, too.”
“Would you like to go outside somewhere or just stay in here?” Michelle noticed the clock. Only twenty minutes left until the end of lunch break.
“Here’s fine,” Amber replied.
“Okay.” Michelle gestured to her sandwich. “My lunch. Mind if I eat while we visit?”
“No, go ahead.”
Michelle nodded. “So tell me a little about who Amber Gamble is.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you had to introduce yourself by telling three things about you, what would you say?”
Amber hesitated. “I don’t know.” She turned away and started playing with her hair.
“How about if I go first?” Michelle asked.
Amber looked back at her. “Okay.”
“Well, I’m a wife — I’ve been married for eight years. I’m a mom – we have a little girl named Madison. And this is my first year as a teacher. Now your turn.”
“Uh…okay, I’m a student, I have a brother named Jack, and… oh, yeah, I have a boyfriend named Adam, who goes to SC High.”
“Really? What grade is Adam in?” Michelle asked, trying to appear casually interested.
Amber looked down at her hands. “He’s in 10th.”
“Wow. Older.”
Amber nodded. “Yeah. Most guys at Magnolia ar
e jerks.”
“I see.” Michelle made a mental note to see if she could find out more about this Adam kid. “What’s Adam’s last name?” she asked.
Amber looked up. “Wilson, why?”
“Just wondering. Did he go to Magnolia?” Perhaps Cassie knew him from a prior year.
“Yeah. So did his brother, Troy.”
“How old’s Troy?” Michelle asked, hoping this wasn’t beginning to sound like an interrogation.
Amber shifted nervously in her seat. “He’s 18. He’s a senior.”
“So what do you and Adam do together?” Michelle asked, wondering how seriously they were dating.
Amber looked away and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Mostly just go to the beach to hang out.” It was pretty clear she didn’t want to talk about it any further. “Is that your daughter?” she asked, pointing to a picture on Michelle’s desk.
“Yeah, that’s my Maddie. She just started school this year at Cove View Elementary.”
Amber picked up the picture and looked more closely. “She’s cute.”
Michelle smiled. “Thanks.”
“You guys go to the park by the lighthouse, don’t you?” Amber asked as she put the picture back onto the desk.
“Sometimes. Why?”
“I saw you there over the weekend. Your daughter looked like she was having lots of fun.”
Michelle nodded. “Do you like to hang out at the park, Amber?”
“Not usually. I was there with my social worker and my brother.”
“Oh. What were you guys doing there?” she asked.
“We were having a meeting about going to see my mom. She’s living at Glen Haven – it’s a halfway house sort of for people who are…you know, messed up in their heads.” She squirmed a little.
“I know about Glen Haven. Our church has considered doing a little Bible study there once a week. Do you think your mom would go to something like that?”
“I doubt it. She’s not into the God thing much.”
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