Her eager assistant popped up from her desk in the front row and hurried to answer. “Mrs. Baron’s room, student speaking.”
After a short pause, Katy held out the phone. “It’s the office. They need to talk to you.”
Giving the test papers to the last row, Michelle instructed her students, “As soon as you have your test, you may begin. Don’t forget your name and student number at the top.” Then she took the phone from Katy. “This is Michelle.”
“Sorry to bother you, Michelle, but the nurse at your daughter’s school is on hold. She said she needs to talk to you,” the secretary said.
“Thanks. Go ahead and put her through.”
“Mrs. Baron?”
“Yes? Is Maddie alright?”
“She’s got a pretty bad nosebleed, and we’re having trouble getting it to stop.”
“What happened? Did she trip or fall?” Michelle’s eyes surveyed the room, looking for students who were off task.
“No. She was on her way to recess when it started.”
“Can you hold on for a second?” Michelle asked, noticing a couple of kids whispering in the back row. She covered the mouthpiece of the phone and spoke to them. “Did you have a question, Brandon?”
“No. Just needed a pencil,” he replied.
“Okay. Back to work. Eyes on your own paper.” She turned her attention back to the phone. “Sorry about that.”
“No problem. I know it’s hard when your class is interrupted,” she replied. “I can keep Madison here resting on the cot until someone can pick her up. Do you want me to call your husband?”
“He’s in court all day. Let me see if I can get someone to cover my classes for the rest of the day. I’ll call you back.”
After hanging up and making sure all the students were working on their tests, Michelle sent Katy to the office with a note for the office manager, asking her to try to get a sub to cover her classes for the day.
About ten minutes later, the school counselor appeared in her doorway. Karen was able to take her class for the rest of the period, and Cassie was going to take the next class. They were still working on a sub for the remainder of the day, but Karen reassured her that they’d work something out.
Before leaving, Michelle reminded her students about their homework assignment and encouraged them to work on it when they finished their tests. She gave Karen the tests for the rest of the periods, grabbed her purse, and headed out the door. As she walked out to the parking lot, she called the nurse to let her know she was on her way.
A short time later, she was walking into the nurse’s office at Madison’s school. Spotting Maddie stretched out on the cot, she went right to her and sat on the edge of the little bed. “Are you okay, baby?”
Madison started to cry, and Michelle gathered her into her arms. A gauze pad fell from the little girl’s nose, revealing bright red blood.
“I’m glad you were able to come right over. She’s been a little trooper, but I could tell she was scared,” the nurse said, handing Michelle a fresh gauze.
“Hold this up to your nose, honey,” Michelle said. “Mommy’s going to take you home.”
Maddie swallowed hard, clearly trying to calm herself as she held the white pad up to her little nose.
“I noticed she’s got quite a few bruises, too,” the nurse added.
“We’ve also been noticing those,” Michelle replied. “In fact, her dad and I were just talking about making an appointment with the pediatrician.”
“That’s probably a good idea. Her nose seems to be slowing down, but it should have stopped bleeding by now.”
Michelle nodded.
“Has she had nosebleeds before?”
“No, but I’ve been noticing her gums are bleeding when she brushes her teeth at night.”
“Well, it’s probably good to just check in with her doctor. Who does she see?”
“Dr. Gold. Donald Gold.”
“He’s great. Let me know what he says,” the nurse replied. Then she turned to Madison. “Just keep that gauze pad up against your nose until the bleeding stops, okay?”
“Okay,” Maddie replied with a nod. She scooted off the cot and took her mom’s hand.
“Thanks for taking care of her,” Michelle said. “Off we go, pumpkin. Maybe we can have a special treat for lunch today.”
Madison smiled behind her gauze. “Okay, Mommy.”
Later that afternoon, as Maddie was taking a nap, Michelle called Dr. Gold’s office and made an appointment for the following day, October 21st at four.
I’ve got to talk to someone, Amber thought as waves of nausea threatened to send her racing to the bathroom once again. She sat on the floor leaning up against the bed. Reaching for her cell phone, she hit speed dial for Adam. It went straight to voicemail.
Great. He’s probably hanging out with his brother somewhere.
She hesitated, and then scrolled through her phone to find the number for her mother’s rehab facility. After being transferred from the front desk, she heard her mom voice at the other end.
“Amber?”
“Yeah. It’s me, Mom. Can you talk?”
“Sure, baby. But they just gave me a sedative for the night, so I’m a little groggy.”
“Oh. Maybe I should call back tomorrow.”
“It’s okay. Go ahead. Tell me what you called about.”
Amber paused, not sure how to begin. “Well, you know I’ve got a boyfriend named Adam, right?”
“Mmm hmm. I remember you saying that.”
“So anyway, we’ve been spending lots of time together.”
No response.
“Mom? Are you listening?”
“What baby? What did you say?”
Amber rolled her eyes. It took all her focus to keep from throwing up as her stomach continued to churn. “I said we’ve been spending lots of time together.”
“That’s nice, honey.” Her mother’s voice was slurred, and Amber could tell she was almost asleep.
“You sound tired. We can talk later.”
“Okay. You… take care, Amber.”
“Right. Bye, Mom.” She pushed the end button and tossed the phone on the bed before running into the bathroom and losing her dinner.
A few moments later, she heard a knock on the door. “Are you okay in there, Amber?” her foster mother asked.
Taking a deep breath, she tried to steady her voice. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Alright, well I need to get in there to give the kids a bath. Are you almost finished?”
Amber quickly flushed away the evidence. “Yeah. Just a sec.” She washed her face with some cold water and swished some mouthwash to clear the acid taste that had become her constant companion. Checking her face and straightening her shirt, she opened the door, brushed past Cecilia, and took refuge in her bedroom.
Pushing her backpack aside, she stretched out on the bed and hugged a towel to her chest. She’d learned to keep it close in case she couldn’t make it to the bathroom. Closing her eyes, she tried to figure out what she was going to do.
As she lay there in the dark, a deep loneliness engulfed her. She could feel tears seep from her eyes and roll down her cheeks, but she didn’t make any effort to brush them away. If tears were her only companion, so be it.
Without even getting undressed, she slipped into a deep, numbing slumber.
Amber managed to escape the next morning without having to converse with Cecilia, who was always trying to get her to eat breakfast. There was no way she could force anything down in the mornings these days. She just hoped she’d be able to avoid the dry heaves until she could force down a cracker or two in the middle of the morning.
As she entered her English class, she noticed Mrs. Baron preparing a PowerPoint. Her teacher sure worked hard to help them understand stuff. Too bad Amber would probably have to drop out of school in a few months.
When she thought about Mrs. Baron and her family, it seemed like she had the perfect life. Amber wi
shed she could get a good career, and that Adam would marry her so they could raise their baby together.
“Hi, Amber,” her teacher said with a smile. But something about Mrs. Baron was different today. Her usual upbeat countenance was replaced by a seriousness that Amber usually only saw when some of the kids were really pushing her buttons.
This was the first class of the day, and it hadn’t even started yet, so something else must be bothering her. Amber returned her greeting and took her seat in the back.
The bell rang a minute later, and they were soon viewing the PowerPoint about symbolism in literature. Amber tried to concentrate. Mrs. Baron was one of the few adults who seemed to really care about her, and she didn’t want to make any waves, when she could tell her teacher was upset about something.
While they worked on the follow-up assignment, Amber noticed Mrs. Baron was staring at the picture of her daughter on her desk.
She sure loves that little girl.
Soon the bell rang signaling the end of class, and Amber was one of the last students to leave. “Mrs. Baron?”
“Yes, Amber?”
“Could we talk sometime?”
“Sure. Why don’t you stop by at lunch?”
Amber nodded. “Okay. Thanks.” As she turned to leave, she heard the teacher’s cell phone ring. Whoever it was, her teacher seemed pretty serious about the call.
Michelle was quickly organizing her paperwork. The school day seemed to drag by, and she was eager to get going. The pediatrician’s office called that morning to verify their appointment after school.
Although Steve had urged her not to borrow trouble, she couldn’t help but worry about Maddie. Something had to be really wrong to be causing all these unexplained bruises, the bloody nose, and the bleeding gums she’d noticed the night before.
Preoccupied with her concerns for her daughter, Michelle had forgotten about her appointment with Amber. As she was slinging her purse over her shoulder, her troubled student walked through the door.
“Hi, Amber,” She said, glancing at the clock and pulling her keys out. “What’s up?”
“You look like you’re in a hurry,” Amber observed, her eyes on Michelle’s purse.
“Yeah. I’ve got an appointment in half an hour.” Michelle could see Amber’s expression fall. “What happened at lunch? I thought you were going to come by.”
“Sorry. Just some stuff with my boyfriend.”
“I thought he was at the high school.”
“Yeah. We were texting about something.”
“Oh.” Michelle felt torn. Something was clearly bothering Amber, and she wanted to help. She’d been trying to forge a relationship between them, and apparently Amber was beginning to trust her. But the appointment for Maddie was her top priority. Steve had agreed to pick up their daughter at school, and he was probably already leaving there to head for the doctor’s office.
“It’s okay if you’re busy,” Amber said.
“I’m really sorry. Can we talk in the morning? I can get here early if you’d like.”
“Mornings are kind of hard for me. Maybe tomorrow at lunch,” Amber replied. “I promise I’ll show up.”
“Okay. Sounds good.” Michelle escorted Amber out to the hallway, locking the door behind them. “See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. See ya.” Amber walked off as Michelle hurried out to the parking lot.
Dr. Gold’s friendly smile and casual questions about school helped Madison relax. While she chatted about her teacher and new friends, Michelle and Steve watched him examine her bruises, look in her ears and eyes, check her reflexes and gently feel for swollen lymph nodes.
“Okay, princess. We’re done. You can put your dress back on,” the doctor said.
Madison slipped off the examining table and pulled her dress back over her head. “Now do I get a lollipop?”
“You sure do,” the nurse replied with a smile, holding out a basket of brightly colored candies.
As Maddie carefully chose her treat, Dr. Gold turned to Steve and Michelle. “I’d like to run some blood tests. There’s a lab downstairs, and I think you can make it there before they close.”
“What do you think it is?” Michelle asked anxiously.
“I won’t be able to make a diagnosis without the blood work,” he replied.
“How long will it take to get the results?” Steve countered.
“We should have them back within a week. I’ll have the front office call you to set up an appointment as soon as they’re in.”
Michelle needed more information. Pressing the doctor, she asked, “What kinds of things are you testing for?”
“When we see bruising and bleeding issues like this, we need to check for conditions like leukemia and other diseases that include bleeding disorders.”
Michelle noticed Madison watching her closely. She didn’t want to alarm her little girl, but the mention of leukemia brought a level of fear that threatened to overtake her completely.
Steve was quick to step in. “But there are other things that could be causing this, right?”
“Yes. There are conditions like Von Willebrand disease that can mimic the symptoms of leukemia. That’s why it’s important to do the blood tests. After I see the results, I can refer you to a specialist who will determine whether or not to run further tests.”
Dr. Gold turned to Madison and squatted down to her level. “How’s the lollipop?” he asked.
She nodded her head as she sucked on her treat. He ruffled her hair gently. “Mommy and Daddy are going to take you downstairs to the lab. They’re going to take a little of your blood from your arm, so we can find out why you are getting all these bruises. They have a treasure chest in the lab that is just for little princesses. After your blood test, you can pick a special toy to take home with you.”
“Will it hurt?” Maddie asked.
“Just a little pinch,” he replied reassuringly. Straightening up, he extended his hand to Steve and then Michelle. “Try not to worry. Let’s just focus on getting the proper diagnosis for now.”
“Thanks, Doctor,” Steve replied. He held one hand out to Madison and the other to Michelle as they left the office and headed downstairs to the lab.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Michelle was awake most of the night, tossing and turning in a battle of fear versus faith. She’d maintained a strong, upbeat exterior for Madison throughout the lab experience and the following evening. But when she’d finally stepped into the shower before bed, the gravity of the doctor’s words engulfed her.
Leukemia. After all they’d been through to have a child, the infertility tests, the insemination procedure, the wait for DNA results – now to face the possibility that their precious daughter might have a life-threatening illness – it was more than she could bear.
Please God. Please help us. Don’t let it be cancer.
She stayed there for a long time, letting the warm water pound on her back as her tears coursed down her face. Had she ever imagined in her pre-mommy days the depth of love she now felt for her little girl? She knew she’d trade places with Maddie in a heartbeat if she could spare her little girl any of the possible pain that lay ahead.
“Honey, are you okay in there?” Steve’s voice called from the bedroom.
Michelle shut off the water, wrapped a towel around herself, and stepped out. “Yeah.”
She threw on a robe and walked into the bedroom, towel drying her hair on the way.
“You look like you’ve been crying,” Steve said, placing his hand on her shoulder.
She turned away and nodded, feeling the tears starting to well up again.
“Hey,” he said softly, drawing her into his arms.
Michelle buried her face against his chest. “It’s not fair, Steve.”
He stroked her damp hair with one hand as he held her tightly with the other. “I know. Here, let’s sit down and talk.” He led her over to the edge of the bed and eased her down beside him. Lifting her chin with
his finger, he looked into her eyes. “We can’t assume the worst.”
“I know. It’s just hearing the word leukemia coming out of the doctor’s mouth. I guess I really didn’t expect it.”
Steve sighed and gazed across the room. “Me neither.”
“I should have never taken the teaching job this year. I’ve been so busy, I feel like I haven’t been the kind of mom I want to be. If I wouldn’t have been so preoccupied with my lesson plans and grading papers, maybe I would have noticed something sooner.”
“Come on, Michelle. Don’t start second guessing everything. We’ve got to hold onto our faith right now and pray that this turns out to be nothing serious.”
She nodded, but her thoughts kept circling back to her greatest fears.
“You need your rest, babe. Why don’t you go dry your hair, and then let’s go to bed. Things will look better in the morning.”
Michelle looked at him and tried to smile. Pushing her weary body up, she walked into the bathroom.
As they stretched out in bed a little while later, she thought she heard Madison crying. She tiptoed into their daughter’s room and found her sleeping, her teddy bear hugged to her chest. Carefully pushing Maddie’s hair off her face, Michelle leaned down and kissed her cheek. “I love you,” she whispered softly.
Madison moved in her sleep and clung tighter to her bear. Adjusting the covers over her sleeping form, Michelle walked out of the room without a sound.
Steve held her in his arms while he fell asleep, and Michelle dozed off for a short time, only to be awakened by Max, who jumped up on the bed and plopped down beside her.
In the darkness, with no one to talk to, her imagination began to explore all the devastating outcomes that might await their little family. As her spirit fought to illuminate her faith and the hope that only God can give, the forces of darkness whispered fear and despair into her heart and mind.
Michelle walked into her classroom early the next morning, trying to shake off her sleepless night and be prepared for her meeting with Amber. Thankfully, the day’s lesson was primarily student task oriented, so she wouldn’t have to be on her feet quite as much.
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