Bonnie smiled, but her eyes spoke concern. “I’m not saying it can’t be done. I’m just saying it won’t be easy. Please consider everything carefully, and know that we will help Amber through all of this no matter what you decide.”
“Thanks, Bonnie,” Michelle replied, glancing out the window at the rain and trying to process her thoughts.
Please, God. Help me know what to do.
When Michelle got home, she went upstairs and called her lifelong friend, Kristin. They chatted for a while, catching up on each other’s busy lives. Then Michelle confided in her about Amber’s unusual request and all the inner wrestling she was experiencing herself.
“I’ll really pray for you on this one,” Kristin promised. “God will show you what to do. He has a way of making things like this clear to us, one way or another.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Michelle’s Bible rested in her lap, open once again to one of her favorite verses – Jeremiah 29:11. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.
Underlined and highlighted, the verse was flanked by dates and events carefully penned in the margins. Her father’s release from the hospital, the date she’d discovered she was pregnant with Madison, and recently the first day of her school year as a new teacher.
God knew the plan for this baby. She closed her eyes and let that thought nest in her heart. A sense of deep peace flooded her spirit. A peace she’d come to realize could only come from Him.
What is my part in this plan? She asked without speaking. What would you have me do?
Her prayers filled the silence, and Michelle waited for an answer. Although no clear directive seemed to come, she sensed a stirring in her heart. God was going to show her what to do. It would be in His timing and His way.
As she sat reflecting on the year and how much had changed since the first day Amber entered her classroom, a myriad of emotions danced through her mind.
So much apprehension followed by frustration. Then, somehow in the midst of the antagonism and disruptions that student had brought, there began to be a new set of feelings emerging in Michelle.
Frustration was replaced by desperation to somehow make a difference. And a supernatural love began to push aside the exasperation Amber provoked. Michelle’s eyes had seen beyond the rebellion to a lonely, confused kid who needed her mom. And the mother heart in Michelle rose to the occasion.
Truly it had been a work of God — one that began in the prayers of a teacher and grew into a sacred trust. Amber’s heart and her special needs were given over to Michelle for this season. She wanted to be faithful to whatever God called her to do in the mind-boggling situation that faced her now.
Show me, Lord. Please show me.
The phone on the nightstand rang, startling her out of her communion. She placed the Bible on the bed and reached for the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Hi sweetheart,” the familiar voice of her grandfather replied.
“Grandpa. What a great surprise!” She pushed a pillow up against the headboard and sat on the bed, stretching her legs out before her.
“How’ve you been?” he asked.
“Good, good. How about you? Everything okay?” she asked.
“We’re fine. Your grandmother’s busy in the garden, and you’ve been on my mind this morning,” he said. “So how’s the teaching coming along?”
“It’s good. Really busy – a lot more work than I anticipated, but I think I’m getting the hang of it.”
“Middle school. What an age,” he observed.
“Yeah. Sometimes they think they’re adults and other times they act like little kids,” she replied.
“But you’re keeping them in line?”
“Trying. There’ve been a few challenges,” she began.
“Yeah. I remember you talking about one girl in particular,” he said.
“Amber.”
“That’s it. How’s she doing?”
Michelle hesitated. How much should she tell him? He’d always had such wise advice for her in the past. Maybe he’d have valuable insight for her now.
“Grandpa?”
“Yes, honey?”
“There’s something really huge going on with Amber. I could use your advice.”
“I’m all ears. What’s up?”
As soon as she began to speak, Amber’s story flowed from her heart in a lengthy monologue, relating the struggles and triumphs of the year, and finally the current situation with Amber’s pregnancy and her request that Michelle and Steve adopt the baby.
Grandpa Phil punctuated the conversation with an occasional “um hmm” or “I see.”
“…So now Steve and I are trying to decide what to do,” Michelle said. “We really hadn’t thought much about having another child. But as we discussed it, the idea started to sound like it might be a good one. We’d both like Maddie to have a sibling.”
“But?”
“But… I’m scared, Grandpa. What if Amber changes her mind after we gear up for this? I remember how much that hurt last time. And what if she ends up wanting to be involved in this baby’s life? I mean, she lives in this same community, and she’ll know where he is.”
“True.”
“So what do you think?” She pressed the phone tightly to her ear, anxious to hear his response.
“Well, honey, your concerns are understandable. There’s always a chance that Amber could change her mind or pose some problems for you later. But here’s the thing, and I know you already know this – I’m just reminding you.”
He took a deep breath and continued. “There are no guarantees in this life. Every person we love exposes our hearts to possible pain and difficulties. That’s just a fact we can’t escape. On the other hand, a life without our loved ones would be empty.
“God is not going to give you any guarantees on this matter. So if you are waiting for that before you decide, I’d say you’ve already made your decision.”
“Yeah,” Michelle replied. “You’re right.”
“I will tell you, though, that God doesn’t use a spirit of fear to guide us. So, my advice is not to let fear be the rudder that steers this decision. Take some time in prayer, both you and Steve, as individuals and as a couple. Ask God to show you your place in this.”
He paused, and then added, “It might not be clear right away, but He’ll show you eventually. And in the meantime, your grandmother and I will also be praying.”
“Thanks, Gramps. You always know what to say.”
He chuckled in response. “I miss you, sweetheart.”
“Miss you, too,” she replied.
“When you make your decision, let us know. We’re behind you a hundred percent.”
“I will, Gramps. And thanks so much for calling me.”
“Sure, honey. Love you.”
“Love you, too.” As she placed the receiver back down, her heart felt like it would burst with thankfulness for the grandfather God had given her.
That evening, Michelle and Steve discussed their conversations with the lawyer, Amber’s social worker, and Michelle’s grandfather. Sitting side-by-side on the couch, they clasped each other’s hands and prayed for wisdom and direction.
“Steve?” Michelle said.
“Yes?”
She leaned over and kissed him. “I love you.”
He smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. Burying his face in her hair, he whispered, “I love you, too.”
Amber was waiting in the hall before school again the next morning. “Can we talk?” she asked Michelle.
Michelle braced herself for whatever would come next. “Sure. Come on in.”
As she flipped on the lights and set her stuff down, she noticed Amber staring at Madison’s photo. Then she turned to Michelle and asked, “Have you decided?”
“About the adoption?”
“Yeah.”
“
No, not yet. We’re still discussing it,” she replied.
“Bonnie talked to me,” Amber said.
“She did?” Michelle wondered how much the social worker had said about their concerns.
“Yeah. She told me you guys are worried about me trying to butt into his life, if you adopt him.”
Michelle looked at her and sighed. “Sit down, Amber.”
Amber complied, leaning forward on the desk to the best of her ability with her swollen middle.
“Why don’t you tell me how you envision this adoption unfolding?” Michelle said.
Amber was quiet for a few moments. Then she replied, “I know you would get to see him in the hospital. I would want to see him, too. I need to say goodbye,” her voice caught.
She swallowed and cleared her throat, then continued, “I wish I could be his mom.” Her teary eyes looked into Michelle’s, “But I know he’d be better off with you.”
Michelle could see how difficult this was for Amber, and how much thought she’d put into her decision. “What about after the hospital? How will you feel, knowing that he lives right here in Sandy Cove? Will you expect to see him, to be part of his life somehow?”
“I’ll do whatever you think is best,” the girl replied. Then she looked intently at Michelle again, as if weighing something in her mind. “I do have one request, though.”
Here it comes.
“Okay. Tell me.”
“Remember at church a few weeks ago when the pastor was talking about the spies and the promised land?”
Michelle nodded.
“So, he said there were two spies who weren’t afraid – Joshua and Caleb.”
Michelle smiled, happy to know that Amber was really listening in church. That in and of itself had been a giant leap for this troubled girl. “Go on,” she said.
“When I heard that name, Caleb, I just really liked it. I thought to myself, ‘that’s what I’m going to name him’,” she added.
Michelle felt her heart stop. Caleb. That was the name they’d planned to give the baby they’d almost adopted before Maddie had come along. She could still see the adorable nursery they’d created for him, and the large wooden letters that spelled out his name on the wall above the crib.
“Mrs. Baron? Are you okay?” Amber asked.
Michelle brought her attention back to Amber. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
“So anyway, I was hoping you might consider naming him that. I mean, he’d be your kid and everything, but if you do adopt him, would you at least think about that?”
And in that moment, God spoke into Michelle’s heart. Caleb is yours. I am redeeming the years you lost.
Michelle’s eyes filled with tears. Before she could figure out how to reply to Amber, the bell rang. “We’ll talk more about this later,” she said, moving toward the door to prop it open. “Caleb is a great name,” she added with a smile.
That night, the decision was made. They’d move forward with the adoption.
“Mommy and I want to talk to you about something, pumpkin,” Steve began the next night at the dinner table.
Madison looked up from her spaghetti, a curious expression on her face.
“We were wondering how you would feel about a new baby in the family,” Michelle said.
“A baby?”
“Yep, a baby boy,” she replied with a smile.
“Are you going to get fat like Auntie Kelly did?” Maddie wanted to know.
Michelle and Steve looked at each other and smiled. “Mommy’s not having the baby, honey,” he explained. “We would be adopting him.”
“Oooohhhh,” Maddie replied knowingly.
“So what do you think?” Michelle asked.
The little girl gave them a serious look. “Do I have to share my room?”
Michelle smiled. “No. He’ll have his own room,” she replied. “We’ll turn the guest room into his bedroom.”
“Okay,” Maddie said, seeming satisfied with her answer. “Can I hold him?”
“Sure. Whenever you want,” Michelle promised.
“But not when he’s crying,” Madison said, shaking her head with a frown.
“Not when he’s crying,” Steve agreed.
Their daughter put her index finger on her chin as if she were about to make an important decision. Then she piped up, “Okay. We can adopt him.”
Steve reached over and tousled the hair on her head.
“Daddy,” she said with a stern voice. “You’re messing up my hairdo.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
“Can we talk after school?” Michelle asked in a low voice as she passed Amber’s desk the next morning.
“Sure.”
“Give me a few minutes after the final bell, and I’ll meet you in the faculty parking lot.”
Amber nodded.
Seven hours later, they were on their way to the Coffee Stop.
The short drive was filled with small talk about the day at school. Amber tried to be calm, but her stomach was in knots.
This must be about their decision about the baby.
After they’d ordered some hot drinks, Michelle led her to a cozy spot in the corner.
Facing each other across the wooden table, Amber could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She was afraid to say a word.
“So, my husband and I have spent a lot of time talking and praying about your request, Amber,” her teacher began.
Please God, let her say yes.
Amber nodded. “And?”
“And we want to help you. If we can all reach an agreement about how to make this happen, we will adopt your baby.”
A rush of relief flooded Amber’s heart. She felt herself about to cry, but this time the tears were tears of joy. Caleb would have a good home, the kind of home she wished she could give him.
“We’ll set up an appointment with the attorney,” Michelle added. “Your mom and Bonnie should come with you to that meeting.”
“Okay,” Amber replied. “And, thanks, Mrs. B. I’m so glad you said yes.” She looked away, hoping her teacher and friend would not see the tears she brushed from the corners of her eyes.
After their initial meeting with the attorney, Steve and Michelle notified family and friends about the pending addition to their family. Steve obtained all the necessary paperwork, and they went through the process they’d completed almost eight years earlier when they’d first prepared to adopt another little Caleb into their lives.
Since the baby was due during summer break, Michelle looked into the family leave options she would have for the beginning of the school year. She discovered she’d qualify for six weeks off with full pay, and the state would allow her to take up to twelve weeks with reduced pay.
A long-term substitute teacher would work with Michelle to develop lesson plans for her leave, temporarily filling her position at Magnolia Middle School.
“We really like to have the regular classroom teacher make an appearance the first day of school and on Back to School Night, if at all possible,” Daniel Durand advised.
“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Michelle agreed.
She spent the next few weeks with final preparations for the state standards exams in the beginning of April. There was so much information to review. Would they remember all the terms and rules they’d learned at the beginning of the year?
She shook her head as she thought about how many of them had come to her without having mastered the standards from the year before, or even the year before that.
Finally, the testing week arrived. Most of the kids seemed to concentrate and do their best. But several were caught randomly filling in the answer sheet bubbles without even glancing at the questions, and several incidents involving cell phone violations resulted in two suspensions.
She felt a huge sense of relief when it was over. Easter break gave her time to develop some fun and creative projects for the final months of the year.
The kids were antsy, after testing and their weeklong spring bre
ak, but she managed to reel them in each day with some activity that either involved group work, dramatizations, games, or artistic projects.
On the night of Open House, her room was filled with these displays, as well as the rigorous essays and book reports her students had produced throughout the year.
Before she knew it, she was flipping the calendar to May. Only six weeks remaining. It had been a short year in some ways, and a very long one in others.
Amber had stopped attending regular classes as she moved into her third trimester. The comments of the other students, coupled with her own physical discomfort and fatigue, led her to the decision to finish her schoolwork at home.
Michelle stopped by Amber’s house several times a week, delivering new assignments from all of her teachers and tutoring her the best she could. Amber’s mom, Stacy, seemed very grateful for the assistance.
Bonnie had Amber in counseling twice a week, and it looked as if Amber had complete peace about Michelle and Steve adopting her baby boy.
“Guess what?” Stacy said one afternoon as Michelle arrived at their doorstep.
“What?”
“The kids’ dad called. He wants us back.”
Michelle was stunned. Stacy seemed almost matter-of-fact about the whole thing. “What do you think?” she asked, looking Stacy directly in the eyes.
“I don’t know,” Stacy replied. “I still love him, and the kids need a father. Especially Jack.” Then, as if suddenly remembering her manners, she added, “Sorry. Come on in.”
As Michelle entered, she asked, “Does Amber know about this?”
“Yes. She says I’m crazy if I take him back.” Stacy admitted. “But Amber doesn’t know how hard it’s been for me without him.”
Michelle just nodded, trying not to reveal her skepticism.
“Maybe you could talk to her,” Stacy suggested.
Looking at her, Michelle could see the pleading in her eyes. “I’ll try,” she replied.
“Thanks. She’s in her bedroom. Hopefully she’s finished with the work you brought Monday.”
Into Magnolia (Sandy Cove Series Book 3) Page 24