by Lisa Lace
"Know his path," she reminded me.
"I'll be in the docking bay tomorrow. The Surtu invited me to the ceremony for the soldier you killed."
"Which one?" she smirked, but she knew the soldier I meant.
"While I'm there, I'll do as you say. I'll watch Kalij, study his behavior."
"Do you have anything you can inject him with?"
"I'll think of something. It will have to be covert."
Bellona indicated to the tunnels. "This is the Fortuna. Secrecy is our specialty. Now, let me teach you how to strike a man dead before he knows what hit him."
I was exhausted after my session with Bellona. Striking with the deadly precision of an assassin was no easy task. Bellona may move with the grace of a ballerina, but she was as strong as a bear. I didn't even knew I had muscles in places that hurt.
I didn't let my fatigue stop me from going to visit Lucina. I wanted her to know she wasn't alone. Using the skills Bellona had shown me, I snuck up to her door and listened.
Unfortunately, Kalij was inside. He was yelling, but I didn't know why. "Jidden is a fool! How dare he give dead men preference over me? He treats all of his soldiers like we're no better than dogs, and he wonders why the Captain won't promote him."
"You ARE no better than a dog," Lucina lashed.
There was a scuffle, and I heard her fall to the floor. "If I'm a dog, then what does that make you?" he screamed.
If she replied, I couldn't hear her.
Unable to stand listening any longer, I stepped away from the door, turning to find Gallia watching me from nearby.
"Is she okay?" she asked.
I shook my head, letting my expression speak volumes.
Gallia hardened. "Soon," she said. "Soon."
"Wear this," Jidden said, handing me a formal black dress from my closet. It was one of many outfits supplied to me when I was meant to be the Commander of a spiritual sanctuary, not the Commander of a secret battle station. Like the pale blue dress I had worn when I met Jidden, the designer fashioned the black one he chose after what the women of Rome used to wear.
"Is black a color of mourning for you as well?" I asked, taking the dress from him. I didn't want to wear it, but I also didn't want to disrespect his customs.
"No," he said, perplexed. "We do not have a color for mourning."
"Then why black?" I asked.
"It matches my uniform."
He answered so formally, so matter-of-fact, that I almost burst out laughing. "Fine," I said, and I slid the dress over my head.
"I'm glad you're feeling good this morning," he said. "I wish I'd called on you earlier. Then I could have made you feel even better."
His suggestion made my center tingle. The last time I had worn a dress like this, I learned for the first time just how good Jidden and his cock could make me feel. "Good thing you didn't," I decided, smoothing down the billowy fabric of the dress. "Otherwise, we would have missed the send-off."
"We still can," he teased.
I knew we couldn't. He was Lead Officer of his ship, and he was in charge of the Fortuna. He had to be there.
"Do the men know you've claimed me?" I asked.
"They've been told not to go near you," he said, eyeing me over. "And with good reason. Terra, you're like starlight."
I smiled awkwardly, unaccustomed to such compliments. The flings I had before my placement on the Fortuna had never meant much. I wasn't sure what Jidden and I had, or how long it could last, but it meant something to me for now.
I was glad he hadn't said anything to his men. I didn't want my friends to know either, especially not Gallia. She wouldn't understand. If his men knew, the women would soon find out. Word spread across the space station faster than the winds of a hurricane.
When we were ready, we went to the docking bay. Kalij was on guard again. I wasn't happy to see him. If I could kill him here, I would. But I was glad for the opportunity to observe him, especially when Jidden excused himself to take a call from his Captain.
Kalij wasn't often alone. That was a problem if you wanted to assassinate him. The bastard was popular with his comrades. It seemed virtue didn't win friends if you were a Surtu man. Ego did.
"I'll still find a way," I vowed.
"What was that?" Jidden asked, returning from his call.
"I'm just plotting to kill your men," I said as sweetly as possible.
"You and every woman here," he returned, taking no offense. "But you won't succeed."
"What did your Captain have to say?" I asked, diverting the conversation.
He refused to answer. He couldn't. Likely, they were talking strategy, planning the moves they would make to take over Earth. Once again, the chessboard divided us.
"It doesn't matter," I said. "Not right now."
In reality, it did matter. Everything about the war mattered.
The room we gathered in was plain. I wasn't surprised. I had been onboard the Surtu ship before, where the furnishings were minimal. This room was no different. The walls were completely bare.
The only color in the room was from the wilting wildflowers on the dead soldier. But he was not alone. Bodies lay at the center of the room, each dressed in a white uniform and lying on his steel table.
See, I wanted to say. See what the price of war is.
Jidden addressed the small group of men who joined us. "The life of a soldier never goes to waste. Because of the men here, we are closer to saving our people. They were born free, and they died with honor. There is no better way."
"There is no better way," the men around us echoed.
I waited for Jidden to go on, but that was it. He had said everything he meant to say. So I waited some more, expecting the men to move the bodies, perhaps to be cremated or sent out into space.
Nothing happened.
"Jidden–" I began to ask, but I was cut off when a blazing white light filled the room. It blinded me. Its brilliance was harsh but beautiful.
I had stood within the light once before when Jidden and his men first came to the Fortuna. It was how the Surtu arrived. And how they departed, as I was learning.
When the light faded, the bodies of the soldiers were gone, including the wildflowers I had left. Only the living remained.
I couldn't speak. In the tragedy of war, what just happened stood out in my mind. It was something powerful and special. I hadn't thought the Surtu were capable of it.
"What was that?" I asked Jidden as the others filtered out of the room. "Where did the bodies go?"
"Elsewhere," he answered. Once again, he didn't want to tell me. Jidden had his secrets, just as I had mine. But one thing was for certain – we couldn't underestimate the Surtu. Their abilities far surpassed our own.
That doesn't mean humanity will be defeated, I reassured myself. We still outnumber them.
I returned to my room to change. I couldn't walk around in the black dress all day, playing dress up with the enemy. Standing in my undergarments, I prepared to hang the dress back in my closet. The dark fabric appealed to me more than I realized, so I placed it on the back of my desk chair instead.
Back in a fresh jumpsuit, I went to the kitchen to update Gallia on everything Bellona and I had discussed. The soldiers had started a new patrol, leaving us a few minutes to chat unsupervised.
As soon as I walked in, she threw a plate at me.
"Hey!" I cried, throwing my arm up in defense as the plate shattered against the wall. "What was that for?"
"For not telling me a Surtu claimed you!" she shouted as she picked up another plate.
Oops.
I remained near the door in case she went on a rampage. "How did you know?"
Losing her vigor, she slumped forward, dropping the plate into the soapy waters of the sink. "It's true then. Terra, why didn't you tell me?"
My heart broke as I realized she wasn't asking me as my Commander. She was asking as my friend.
"Who claimed you?"
"Jidden," I confessed. "
I'm not even sure what it means that he claimed me, only that no other man can have me."
"The Lead Officer in charge of the siege?"
"Yes," I said, and I joined her at the sink. "But it doesn't change anything, does it?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "If he's watching you, I'm not sure we can risk you going anywhere private. It has to stay secret."
She meant the tunnels.
"He won't find out," I promised. "He's not like Kalij. He doesn't chain me to my room. He's too busy to do things like that."
"Then why did he claim you?"
Because I told him too, when I thought I was hours from death. Of course, I couldn't tell her that.
"The Fleet Captain gave him permission to claim whoever he wanted. I guess he thought a Commander was a good choice."
It was mostly true.
She huffed. "He should count himself lucky that he didn't end up with me. Otherwise, I'd scribble him onto Bellona's hit list myself."
"That's not necessary," I said quickly. "He doesn't hurt me. And it's useful. It's why I have access to the docking bay."
"Smart," she said, relaxing. "That's smart."
"How did you know Jidden claimed me?" I asked again, hoping rumor hadn't spread.
"Being a kitchen mouse has its advantages. I've learned a lot working here. Earlier, I was cleaning up after a group of soldiers following their meal. They mentioned that you, the Commander, wasn't to be touched. They also said they saw you on a ship this morning to attend a funeral. I put the pieces together."
It wasn't good news. Rumors would soon sprout, like weeds. Then everyone would know.
"Have you told anyone?"
"There isn't anyone to tell, except Bellona...and I'm guessing by the look on your face you don't want me to do."
"I would rather no one knew," I said truthfully.
"That's your prerogative," she replied. "Did you meet Bellona last night?"
"I did. I'm going to inject Kalij with poison."
"When?"
"As soon as I can. I still have to find the right herb, but it'll be soon."
"Good," she said. "The sooner the task is finished, the sooner we can focus on how to escape."
I was tired, but I fought my fatigue and went to the gardens. Plants were not my strong point. It was a shame I couldn't reach my mother. Be it the orchards or the plains, she knew everything about the flora that nourished us, and the flora that killed us.
I wasn't in the garden long before Gallia found me again. What she threw at me was much worse than any plate.
"Come quickly," she urged. "It's Lucina. She's in a bad way."
Sitting on the carpet of her sleeping quarters, I cradled Lucina in my arms. She was sobbing. We'd been like this for hours.
Earlier, Kalij had found her collapsed on the floor. He thought she tried to kill herself, so he'd called in the Surtu medical officer, who was eating in the dining hall at the time. Gallia had overheard everything, and so she summoned me.
Lucina hadn't tried to kill herself. Overcome with grief, she'd blacked out.
"This doesn't change anything!" Kalij had shouted at her as the medical officer showed him out of the room. "Our light bonding ceremony will go ahead tomorrow as planned!"
The light bond. That was the cause of her grief. I still wasn't sure what a light bond was, but I knew what it implied. She would be his forever, at least in the eyes of the Surtu.
"I can't go through with it," she heaved through her tears. "I refuse to be bonded to him in any form."
My stomach felt sick thinking about it. Once they were light bonded, Kalij could do whatever he liked with her. He would take away her integrity.
I wanted to promise her it wouldn't happen, but I couldn't. It would be another broken promise, just like the one I made when I said I'd free her.
Maybe if I'd spent less time fucking Jidden...
I was angry – at the Surtu, at Kalij, and at myself. I'd been selfish with my time. I had failed Lucina. It was one failure too many.
"Here, take her," I said, passing Lucina to Gallia. "The night is fading. I don't have much time."
"Where are you going?" Gallia asked, stroking Lucina's hair.
"I made a promise, and I plan to keep it." Before leaving, I whispered to Lucina, "I swear on the pinky ghost, you're the one I honor the most." Then I was gone.
JIDDEN
"The ceremony will continue," I told Kalij, hoping it would shut him up. It was late, and I had a long day ahead of me, starting early the next morning. It wasn't just because of the light bonding ceremony though that played a part.
Tomorrow, my people planned to attack.
"As long as the girl is conscious, she'll be there."
"And what if she sneaks away tonight?" Kalij argued, pacing in front of my desk.
"Where will she go?" I asked. "We have the station covered. If it makes you feel better, I've already ordered extra soldiers to stand guard near her quarters."
My words didn't make him feel better. "It's the soldiers that worry me. I see the way they look at her. They'll sneak in and take her. And they'll also take that bitch of a Commander you've been protecting."
The little patience I had ran out. "Listen," I charged. "You are not to go near that girl until we bring her to you in the Grand Hall tomorrow. If you disobey me, there will be no light bonding ceremony. There will be no Kalij. Now get out of my face before I break yours."
He left, grumbling. As he turned down the corridor, I thought I saw a shadow.
It's nothing, I thought, but my gut told me to follow it. My instincts had never served me wrong before. They were a large part of why I'd gotten as far as I had in the military. I turned down the corridor in the same direction Kalij had left.
It was a good thing I did.
Outside the bathroom, I found Terra with a knife in her hand, waiting to strike. I only saw her back. I assumed Kalij was inside.
You should have followed him in, I thought. Good thing for me you didn't.
I grabbed her hand, making her drop the knife before I spun her around and pinned her against the wall.
"What do you think you're doing?" I hissed.
"I'm saving my friend before you cast her into hell," she spat.
I now saw a side to Terra I had not known. Behind her benevolence, there was a darkness to her. It pulled me to her closely, stronger than the wildflowers had. If she had it her way, she would kill Kalij. If I had it my way, I would watch, and then I would take her to my bed.
Neither of us would get our way tonight.
TERRA
I wasn't scared. The way Jidden grabbed my arm and dragged me back down the corridor told me I should be, but I wasn't.
I didn't care that Jidden caught me. My only regret was that I hadn't slit Kalij's throat beforehand. I wouldn't have made it quick. I would have let the blade linger, the way the bruises lingered across Lucina's body.
It's not like they were going to kill me. I was a woman. To the Surtu, I was sacred. They wouldn't punish me. They wouldn't punish any of us. We were already being punished by being taken as hostages, betrayed by our leaders, and forced to face the possibility that, one by one, we would all be light bonded to a Surtu man.
Except possibly me. Jidden cared for me, but he still cared for his career more.
"What is a light bond?" I demanded when he pulled me into his office.
He let go of my arm, unamused. "I'll ask the questions," he snapped.
"No, you'll answer them," I said, confronting him. "You haven't won this war yet. You're not in charge. I'm sick of all the secrecy and evasion. If my women are meant to be light bonded to your men, then we deserve to know what the hell we're getting into."
I had him. He looked down, gathering his thoughts.
"Surtu are beings of light as well as flesh," he said. "So are humans. You don't know it yet because you can't control yourselves. We can use our minds to control the atoms in our body, to become like light or to stabilize into p
hysical form. You don't have the same control over your body, but you have the ability change. We've seen it. During a light bonding ceremony, a couple alters into light together. It's a transcendental experience, uniting mates together forever."
"And is such a light bond always required before mating?"
"If you're asking if I've broken some moral code by sleeping with you, I haven't. All the soldiers here have known other women. Surtu women, of course. But many of those women are barren after fighting the disease. A light bond is required for a human mate because the children are healthier when parents conceive them. Healthy children are what my people need."
I remembered Captain Fore telling me something similar. "How does the light bond work for humans if we don't know anything about it?"
"When a Surtu man shares a light bond with a human woman, he alters her state for her, turning her into light. It's brief but powerful."
"It sounds beautiful when you describe it," I told him. "But it's not. Nothing about this light bond is wholesome if a male forces into it against her will. Let Lucina go. Call off the ceremony tomorrow."
I was trying to appeal to his inner depths.
"I won't," he said coolly, returning to his cold indifference. "This is why we're here – to mate. The ceremony will go ahead."
"Then you've just sentenced your first woman to death," I warned. "Her soul can't survive it."
"She'll have to try," he replied. He was unmoved.
I was no longer angry at myself. He was the focus of my rage. "I never should have told you to claim me. It was a mistake."
He moved behind his desk and allowed space to build between us. "You should return to Lucina," he said, refusing to acknowledge me further. "She needs your support right now. But don't think about running. I've strengthened the patrol around her quarters."
We'll see, I thought to myself.
When I returned to Lucina, she was with Gallia, and she was a lot calmer than before. Her sobs had stopped, and she seemed almost hopeful.
"I failed." It was heartbreaking to tell her. Lucina was the last person I wanted to fail. "But Kalij has been ordered to stay away. If we–"
"It's okay," Gallia said, cutting me off. "She's ready."