“I … gotta go,” I said as I grabbed my things and headed out of the room. I didn’t even give him a chance to say goodbye. I just rushed out. I knew I wasn’t going to end it right now, so the best thing I could do was get out of there before I became even more enthralled with the man.
Damn, I was a coward.
12
Edward
I sat atop my horse as I waited for the match to start. I knew I should have been focusing on the game before me; polo was extremely dangerous after all, if you weren’t focused, all I could think about was Maggie.
I looked out at the crowd. There were many royals who had come to watch the match. It was a beautiful day for polo. The sun was shining, the grass was lush, and people were prepared to be entertained. Yet, all I was fantasizing about was Maggie being here to watch me.
She wasn’t, of course. She couldn’t be. This was a prestigious event; it wasn’t open to the public. It would be possible to invite her if I was dating her more seriously…
It was something I’d been considering a lot the past few weeks, since my disastrous date with Angelique. Like Cecilia, she had attempted to sink her talons into me, luring me into a good time with the preface of just dinner—which led to dessert and her hoping we could be exclusive. I didn’t do exclusivity. However, the more time I’d spent around Maggie, the longer we let our fling go on, the more entranced I was with the cute, little American; the more hesitant Maggie seemed to allow me into her life. I could understand why. She was worried we’d be caught in a compromising position. She was worried she’d look unprofessional. That wouldn’t happen if I publicly claimed to be dating her.
That was a big step for me, though. Never had I committed to a woman like that. There was a lot of pressure on me, and it was genuinely understood that when I did commit to a woman, I had to be quite serious. She could become the princess after all.
Which was something that someone like Maggie very likely did not want to be. She had said many times over that she understood my desire to dismiss my royal responsibilities. I doubted she wanted any for herself.
Regardless, she wasn’t even a proper Brit. She was American—though that was undisputedly what I loved about her even more so.
Either way, that was far too much to think about right now. She wasn’t going to be officially dating me anytime soon. I wasn’t ready for that commitment.
Still, I was enjoying my time with her thoroughly. Now when I thought about her, it simply wasn’t about how I wanted to have her. It wasn’t just desire. I thought about her as a person.
Like how much she had to struggle with the hospital bills for her father. That didn’t seem even remotely fair to me, and I worried about it often. Why, during the hardest point in her life, should she be focused on finances? I mean, she had no idea the course her father’s cancer would take, and yet she had to worry about money? It was barbaric.
Someone as kind as her didn’t deserve it. She was such a sweet, nurturing soul. Most of the women I'd met were eager to go on vacation with me or head to the most exclusive clubs every weekend night. Maggie wasn’t like that. She spent every moment she wasn’t at work with her dad. She cleaned their flat, cooked for them, and made sure his every need was tended to. She not only worried about his physical health, she worried about him as a whole, making sure he never spent too much time alone and that he was in good spirits. She was an angel.
She deserved the world.
I’d ceased hanging out with any other women in recent weeks, my last date with Angelique was the breaking point. I knew it wasn’t serious between me and Maggie yet, so it wasn’t that I felt I had to be involved with anyone; it was just that no other women interested me in the slightest anymore. Spending time with any of them felt like a waste. The only person who actually made my time feel fulfilled was Maggie.
The match began suddenly, and I was pulled out of my reverie of Maggie and forced to play the game. I rose my mallet above my head as my horse charged toward the ball. The first hit was made by the opposing team, and I promptly raced my horse toward our goal to stop the ball in its tracks.
I was very good at polo, if I did say so myself. It was one of those things I just had a knack for. Ever since I was a young boy, I was interested in it, and as a member of the royal family, it was expected that I play.
I genuinely enjoyed it. Usually, polo was a release for me. It was an opportunity to escape my life and my feelings of loneliness and stress. It took all of my energy and focus, so everything else was left behind as I played.
That wasn’t how I felt now. Normally, I was eager to use polo to avoid thoughts of my life. Right now, life wasn’t so bad. It was actually very enjoyable. I couldn’t have cared less about the game at hand.
So, I was understandably sloppy today. I hoped my teammates might carry me. Frankly, it felt so silly to me to care about the outcome of a game of polo when Maggie was worried about serious things like the outcome of her father’s illness.
I did my best to keep up regardless. We almost got it through the opposing goal, but in the last moment, someone swooped in and hit the ball back. I eagerly rushed my horse over to go get it, being a little mindless about my surroundings.
I paid for it.
Suddenly, I felt a knock to my helmet, and then my world went black.
When I came to, I was no longer on my horse but instead on the ground. I was disoriented, unsure of what had happened, but people were now surrounding me.
“Wh-what?” I muttered.
“You got knocked off your horse!” I heard the familiar voice of Ms. Mitchell say to me.
Subsequently, I turned to see my mother kneeling in front of me.
“Edward? Are you alright?” she asked frantically.
“I … think so,” I mumbled.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been out, but I didn’t think it could’ve been more than a few seconds. My horse was still in front of me.
There was a ringing in my head, and I tried to sit up but was immediately dizzy. My mother promptly pushed me back down.
“No, no, stay there!” she said. “The ambulance has been called.”
I groaned. “Mum, I don’t need an ambulance.”
“You absolutely do, and I won’t hear more about it!” She turned to Ms. Mitchell. “Please make sure they can get in the gate.”
“Right away,” Ms. Mitchell said, sounding a little more panicked than I’d ever heard her be.
I really wasn’t too worried about it, though. My head was definitely aching, and I didn’t like the sense of vertigo I was experiencing. I was wearing a helmet. I didn’t think it could be too bad.
As everyone shuffled around me, there was only one thought that kept consistently coming to my mind. I wasn’t sure if it was the concussion that put the thought on repeat, or just my genuine concern, but regardless, I kept thinking the same thing over and over again…
I had to help Maggie.
13
Maggie
I was in the kitchen whipping up a lasagna that my father had requested for dinner, and against my better judgement, I obliged him. I knew he probably shouldn’t have been eating something as heavy as lasagna, but it was rare these days that my father actually requested food of any kind, so I felt the need to get him what he wanted.
Apparently, lack of judgement was a common theme in my life lately.
Despite my determination to cut off Edward, I hadn’t done so at all. We continued to secretly hook up, and I grew more and more attached to him every day.
That attachment had run out of control, really. I thought of Edward constantly. Even when I was working with the kids, I was always praying for Edward to pop up. He had become a constant fixture in my mind, and I was properly embarrassed about that fact. Still, I let it continue.
Simply because he was irresistible to me. Not to be crude, but I’d never had sex this good in my life. He sent my mind into places it’d never been before, and I couldn’t give him up for the life of me. I w
anted him every second of every day. It never ended.
I knew that was going to happen, though. I had nobody to blame but myself. I certainly didn’t blame Edward, but I did want him badly.
It was pathetic, really. I mean, I was never going to be a serious girlfriend for him. He was a prince. He needed to date and subsequently marry someone who had similar social status. And that absolutely wasn’t me and never would be. I wasn’t the woman for him. No matter how much I wished I could be.
It wasn’t just Edward’s good looks that got me. After we would hook up, we’d hang out and talk about life, and he was just so easy to get on with. You’d think someone who had been told all his life how important he was would be a little egotistical, but he wasn’t. He had a kind soul. He always listened about what was going on with my life. He made me feel cared for.
Which only made my feelings worse. If I wanted to stick to not having feelings for him, then I probably should have ceased talking to him after we had sex. I found rejecting his conversation was just as hard as rejecting his advances.
I was putting on a middle layer of lasagna and decided to load up a lot more eggplant and zucchini than I normally would. I may have been giving in to my dad’s desires a bit, but I wouldn’t tell him that this was a lasagna loaded with veggies and low-fat cheese. Hopefully he wouldn’t even notice.
When I finished layering, I’d load it up with marinara and put noodles on top. It would take about an hour in the oven, but at least the house would smell amazing tonight. There were way too many nights lately where I succumbed to frozen meals because I was tired from work and from taking care of my dad. I really needed to cook more often.
I walked out of the kitchen to find my father in the living room, watching some sitcom I didn’t recognize.
“Is it cooking?” he asked eagerly.
“Sure is. Will be done in an hour. I’m glad you’re so excited about this.”
“Oh, I really am.”
“So your appetite has been coming back?” I asked.
“Yes, day by day, it has.” He smiled at me.
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” That had to be a good sign for his health.
“So, how’s work been, my dear? I haven’t gotten to talk to you too much lately with how tired I’ve been.”
“It’s honestly really, really great. I mean, I never imagined I’d one day work in a palace. Can’t deny how cool it is.”
“Yes, it really is,” he agreed. “I’ve been emailing some friends and family back home and bragging about you.” He grinned.
“Oh, Dad.” I shook my head, though it was sweet how much pride he had in me.
“Allow me to brag about my daughter, please. You’re the one great accomplishment in my life.” He smiled at me. “So, how well do you know the royals? I mean, you know the kids, of course, but what about the queen?”
“I’ve met her,” I said, nodding, “but I really don’t know her too well. She seems nice, though. I do talk to the prince a lot more. He likes to hang out during some of the tutoring sessions because he likes to spend time with his younger siblings.”
“Aw, well isn’t that nice. It’s just so neat that you actually get to spend time with the royal family.”
It was, but lately I was wanting more.
I loved Edward, and I loved the kids, but I didn’t want to have just a working relationship with them. I couldn’t help but think about what it might be like to be more to them. If I was dating Edward, I’d be more than just their teacher—I’d be family.
How I longed to be that close to them all.
I couldn’t keep fantasizing about it. Where was daydreaming going to get me? That was only going to make me more attached to the idea of a life that I was never going to have.
“Well, I’m proud of you, honey. I really am.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
If nothing else, I was proud of me for getting this job as well, even if I did have Edward to thank for it. It did allow me to keep up on hospital payments … barely. I still had a long way to go for the medical bills to be paid off, and I had to make the smallest payments that I could. Still, it allowed me to get out from under the stress a bit.
I leaned back on the couch as I watched TV with my dad. My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out to find a breaking news alert.
“Breaking News: Prince Edward injured in a polo accident.”
I shot up on the couch, fully alert as I waited for the article to load. My father noticed something was wrong immediately.
“What? What is it?” he asked.
“It’s the prince. Apparently, he was injured in a polo game,” I answered, my heart pounding as I willed my damn phone to load faster!
When it did, I speed-read through the article. Apparently, he had been hit in the head with another player’s mallet. He had fallen off his horse and was knocked unconscious.
“Oh my God,” I muttered.
“What?” my father asked again.
“He was knocked unconscious. I have to call Ms. Mitchell and make sure he’s alright,” I said before I walked outside.
I felt sick to my stomach thinking about Edward being injured. What if it was serious? I had the strong urge to go to him, wherever he was, but I knew that would be wholly inappropriate. Why should I be allowed at whatever hospital he was at? I was nothing to him.
But he was everything to me.
“Hello?” Ms. Mitchell answered the phone.
“Ms. Mitchell, hi. I just heard about Prince Edward. Is he alright?”
“Yes, yes, he’s going to be. Apparently, he has a minor concussion and will need to rest a lot this week, but he should make a full recovery with no lasting damage.”
I let out a large sigh of relief. “Good, good. I’m so glad to hear that,” I said.
“Very sweet of you to check up on him, my dear.”
Right … yeah. As an employee, my gesture is only sweet. God, I hated that I felt so close to him but to everyone else I was so distant. Not that I wanted people to know about us or anything. It was frustrating to have someone mean so much while I felt I meant so little.
“We’ll be seeing you tomorrow afternoon at the palace?”
“Yes, of course,” I told her.
“Fantastic. Goodnight now, dear.” She hung up.
Even though I knew Edward was fine, I felt desperate to know more. Where was he staying? Could I visit? Did he need anything? Who was taking care of him?
These were all silly questions, of course, because he was the Prince of England. I didn’t think he needed me to worry about who was fussing after him. The whole palace would be fussing after him.
I wanted it to be m who was by his side. I wanted to be the one caring for him, getting him back to full health. Dammit, why couldn’t it be me?
I had to take a deep breath before I went back in to see my father. It was stupid how much I had to calm myself down. Edward would be fine. He didn’t need me. I needed to be reasonable about this whole thing.
I couldn’t be reasonable. Which was why I had never intended to get this involved with him in the first place!
I knew that I had to end things. If I didn’t, how hurt was I going to be if I let this go on for months? I’d be unavoidably attached to Edward. And, subsequently, he wouldn’t be attached to me.
So. what would happen when he met someone? As in, met someone for real? A woman he could actually take with him to the throne?
It would absolutely break my heart. I wasn’t sure how I’d recover from that. Which meant I needed to end things before I watched him ride off into the sunset with another woman.
I couldn’t tell him right now, of course, since he was recovering from a concussion. That would just be cruel and unnecessary. I’d wait until he healed up.
I wanted to at least text him to ask how he was doing, make sure he was alright. I feared if he was in the hospital that his cell phone was in somebody else’s hands, so asking how he was doing might give me away. I couldn’
t have that.
I desperately feared anybody finding out what Edward and I had been up to. It would make me look awful, and potentially; it could even put me in the spotlight. Well, I had zero desire to be in the spotlight. I wouldn’t feel good being written about in the tabloids as the American tramp sleeping with the prince. So it was best that our relationship stayed secret from everyone. So far, we’d done a good job of hiding it.
I finally readied myself to go inside and shut the door quietly behind me. I was hoping my father wouldn’t hear me come in and thus wouldn’t ask me how Edward was. He did hear, and of course he asked.
“How is the prince?”
“He’s fine,” I answered. “A small concussion, but he’ll be alright.”
“Good, good. I could see you were very worried about him.”
I could tell he was prying a bit.
“Yes, well, Edward is a very good man. He has always been extremely kind to me. It would be awful if anything was seriously wrong with him.”
“Right.” He nodded but was still a bit suspicious.
That night, as we ate lasagna on the couch, it was all I could do to focus on the TV and the conversation with my father. In the back of my mind, it was only Edward I wanted to speak to. I was eager to go into work the next day, hoping that he’d find his way into my lesson, and I could make sure that he was okay.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t exactly how the day went.
An hour into my tutoring sessions with Drew and Abigail, Edward still hadn’t shown up. It was starting to worry me. Was he not yet back on his feet?
I tried to focus on the lessons we had today and not preoccupy myself with Edward’s health, but that didn’t go so well. The longer I put off asking about Edward, the more anxious I became. Eventually, I just blurted it out to Drew and Abigail.
“So, how is your brother doing? I heard about his accident.” I tried to sound casual but it came off as anything but.
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