I was sitting along the edge of the fountain, cool marble chilling my thighs through the delicate dress I was wearing. Sebastian had apparently brought a team of some of Wyvernbank’s most talented fashion designers to curate my wardrobe over the months we’d been here. There was nothing wrong with the clothes they’d chosen for me, it was just different. I was used to my power suits, used to dark colors. But Sebastian had ultimately chosen beautiful fabrics in a wide range of gorgeous patterns and colors. All the ensembles sitting in my closet were light and flowing, giving me an almost weightless and floating quality whenever I took a step. I’d gotten to wear designer brands I never even dreamed of owning because I either couldn’t afford it before, or because I would have been highly scrutinized for overzealous spending as a diplomat.
One of the house attendants brought out a platter of sandwiches and tea, which she promptly placed on the glass patio table just off to the side. She busied herself by setting up two different plates.
I raised a curious eyebrow. “Am I expecting company?”
“My apologies, ma’am. I thought someone had told you. His Royal Highness just arrived. He said he wished to join you for lunch before taking Adam for the weekend.”
Sebastian descended the stone steps leading into the courtyard and clapped his hands together, laughing as Adam spread his arms out wide. Sebastian picked Adam up and tossed him into the air, catching him in his arms before tickling the boy senseless. The house attendants around us stood at attention, bowing their heads in respect for their Prince.
“You’re getting so big!” Sebastian exclaimed. “I feel like you grow five inches every time I come to see you.”
“Papa stop,” giggled Adam, voice sweet and high. “No tickle!”
“No tickle? You love tickle?”
Adam shook his head, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled wide. “No tickle,” the boy reaffirmed.
Sebastian placed our son in his lap and sat next to me. “You look lovely today,” he whispered in my ear.
“Thank you. You have excellent taste.”
“I really can’t take all the credit. Patrick was the one who had the final say. I just picked out what I thought would look pretty on you.”
I smiled, a warmth blooming within my chest. “I didn’t know you were stopping by for lunch.”
“I thought I’d spend a little time with you and check up on how you’re doing. How have you adjusted?”
I shrugged, reaching over to brush some of Adam’s hair out of his eyes. He was fidgeting about, fussy because he had refused to take his nap earlier. “The last couple of months have been alright. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been going stir crazy, though. I was really hoping to take Adam to a park or something.”
Sebastian shook his head. “You know we can’t do that. It’s not safe.”
“I know, I know,” I sighed. “I was just thinking about it.”
“You okay?”
“I guess I just…” I sighed slowly. “I feel like a kept woman.”
“You are a kept woman.”
“Yeah, well, it’s making me feel… I don’t know what the word is in your language.”
“Gross? Weird? Icky?”
I nodded. “Icky.”
Sebastian looked me over, a twinge of concern behind his eyes. “I’ll talk to Patrick. Maybe we can plan a little trip together, just the three of us. Well, the four of us. Pat’s pretty much a guarantee at this point. If I get all of my work done early, maybe we can go somewhere next weekend. I’m thinking the mountains for a bit of skiing.”
“You really mean it?” I asked, excited.
“Of course.” Sebastian nuzzled his nose into Adam’s hair. “Anything for Momma, right?”
“Momma!” our son echoed happily.
Adam’s mood shifted on a dime. His wide smile quickly dissolved into a look of frustration. “Momma,” he repeated, this time with his voice wearing thin. He broke out into a hiccup before sobbing altogether. “Momma!” he cried, eyes turning red with tears. Adam reached for me with his tiny, chubby little fingers.
I took Adam from his father and held him, patting the boy gently on the back while hushing him softly. “What’s wrong, honey? Everything’s fine.”
“No go,” he huffed.
“No go? What do you mean?”
He shook his head adamantly. “No go. Papa stay.”
I chuckled. “Papa came all the way here to see you, honey. He’s been waiting all week.”
“No go,” he whined again.
Sebastian and I looked at each other, unsure of what to say or do. We stayed silent for a moment; eyes locked in a silent conversation. Adam eventually calmed down, but he’d grabbed a fistful of my dress and refused to let go.
“Are you expected anywhere this weekend?” I whispered to Sebastian.
He hummed thoughtfully. “I have a few meetings, but nothing that can’t be rescheduled.”
We sat there for a moment as an awkward blanket of quiet draped itself over our shoulders. Despite my moving to Wyvernbank so that Sebastian could be closer to our son, we hadn’t spent a great deal of time together. Save for our brief encounters in passing whenever Sebastian would come to pick Adam up for the weekend, we had never found ourselves alone for very long. It was sort of an unspoken understanding. We weren’t a thing, weren’t a couple. If we delved into the issue, I feared we would only cause ourselves—and by extension, Adam—more grief than it was worth. Things were simpler this way. We didn’t have to define our lives with labels. Here, hidden away in the middle of nowhere, Sebastian and I were two ships passing in the middle of the night. There had been no attempt to patch things up, to give our relationship another chance. Sebastian was still the Crown Prince, and I was still the woman with whom he’d had an affair.
Part of me was always worried that Adam would find out one day. I was worried that maybe he’d come to resent me, see me only as Sebastian’s mistress. What if he grew up to be ashamed of that fact? From what I understood, it was shameful in Wyvernbank culture to give birth out of wedlock. The fact that Adam was of noble birth only served to amplify my fears. The repercussions he’d face would no doubt be harsher thanks to my scandalous past. No, Sebastian and I were fine with the way things were. Even if there was still a flicker of hope for us, a tiny spark of fondness that remained, I promised to swallow the feeling down for the sake of my boy. My mistakes would be mine alone.
“Stay,” I invited, and nodded to the house attendant, Rita.
“Your Royal Highness,” Rita bowed, “allow me to prepare the master bedroom in the east wing for your stay. That way you can be close to your son.”
“Thank you,” Sebastian replied. He tilted his head to look at Adam. “Papa’s staying. Are you happy now?”
“Yah!” Adam shouted.
Sebastian laughed, though there was a tinge of discomfort in the sound. “I hope you don’t mind, Alison.”
“Would I have invited you to stay if I didn’t want you to have time with our son?” I asked, a little defensive. “Besides, this is your home.” I quirked my brow, challenging him. He nodded, the victory mine. “The whole family’s together now,” I muttered and sat back in my chair, raising the glass to my lips.
“Yes,” he said quietly, frowning to himself. “The whole family.”
24
Sebastian
“Again!” cheered Adam.
I closed the book of fairy tales and rested it on my lap with a sigh. “I already read it to you three times. You promised to be good and go to sleep after this.”
Adam grinned, mischievous, but was unable to suppress an adorably large yawn. “Okay,” he mumbled. He shifted in the crib and rolled over, snuggled his blanket tighter. “Nigh-nigh.”
“Good night.” I chuckled.
“Momma nigh-nigh.”
“I will, sweetheart. I will. Now, get some sleep. Maybe we’ll take Momma out for a picnic in the courtyard.”
Adam quickly drifted off, snorin
g softly. It amazed me how easily it was for him to fall asleep. In fact, I was a little envious. I’d give anything for a full night of quality rest. After setting the book on the nightstand, I stood quietly and shuffled out the door, closing it as gently as possible so I wouldn’t disturb my boy. There were two security guards standing on the other side of the door, backs against the opposing wall so they could keep a watchful eye over everybody who entered and left Adam’s room. They bowed their heads at me as I passed by them, slowly making my way down the hall to my prepared room. It had been a number of years since I’d visited this particular summer home, preferring to vacation elsewhere rather than at the base of the mountains, so I was admittedly a little unfamiliar with the layout.
There were so many rooms that it was entrancing, each door looking just like the last. The majority of the lights had been turned off to save electricity, which only made it more difficult for me to find my room. As I walked down the length of the hall, I listened to the sound of my shoes clicking against the polished tile floors. The tall windows to my left offered a scenic view into the courtyard where the gardens were softly illuminated by the silver of the moon. The grounds were quiet, incredibly still. The longer I stared out the window, caught in the beauty of the flowers and shrubbery just outside, the faster a feeling of emptiness crept into my system. The feeling grabbed hold of my spine, of my heart, and froze me to the spot.
I’d spent the majority of that afternoon turning Alison’s words over and over again in my head. She’d put on a brave face in front of our son, but her tone made everything clear. Alison was lonely. For a second, I put myself in her shoes. While I was off at the palace taking care of royal business matters, Alison was tucked away in the middle of nowhere like my dirty little secret. I supposed she technically was my dirty little secret, but that fact alone didn’t sit well with me. I hadn’t meant for her to feel like a kept woman. I’d simply been selfish, wanted Adam close to me. Alison had given no indication that she was unhappy, but I could tell that she was. She’d given up everything to be with Adam, whilst I had given up nothing. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how unfair everything was. It left an incredibly bitter taste in my mouth.
I would have been lying if I said I didn’t miss her. My heart ached in my chest every time I caught her eyes, only for her to immediately look away. It was as though she was trying to keep some distance, trying to keep me at arm’s length to protect herself. But I saw how she looked at me when she thought I wasn’t watching. There was something akin to yearning behind her eyes, a glimmer of hope for something more. We’d spent the last couple of months tiptoeing around, too afraid to reach out to one another. My initial mistrust of her had died down as time passed, reduced to a quiet murmur of doubt in the back of my mind. Alison had been nothing but pleasant, just as I’d remembered her to be, and she was undoubtedly a perfect mother.
I wanted her. I really did want her. Some nights I’d lie awake in bed, trying to remember what it was like to hold and kiss her. I frequently found myself thinking back to our time together, cracking a smile at an old joke she’d told me or stifling a laugh at a compliment she’d once given me. I missed her brilliant smile, her light giggle. Alison was putting on the appearance of happiness, but I knew that it wasn’t genuine. I really just wanted to see her happy, but I didn’t know what to do to achieve that. When she called us a family, I couldn’t help but swallow bitterly. We weren’t a family. We could have been, but maybe it was too late to entertain such a thought.
I finally made it to the end of the long hall and pressed against the master bedroom’s door, slipping inside quickly. The room was lavishly furnished, the ottoman, bedside tables, bedframe, and wardrobes all made of the same dark mahogany wood. The bed had been made up with several puffy pillows stuffed in silk cases, and the warm goose down duvets that I once used had been replaced with thinner, cooler cotton blankets to combat the summer heat. The evenings out in the countryside were mild in temperature, but the brick walls of the house easily trapped in the heat like an oven beneath the hot sun.
Exhausted, I pulled off my blazer and lay it down at the foot of the bed, kicking off my shoes and socks before wandering off to the bathroom. The bathroom’s door was closed, but I could see that the lights were on through the small crack at the bottom. I didn’t think much of it, believing that one of the house attendants must have forgotten to turn them off after they prepared my room. I turned the doorknob and entered, freezing almost instantly upon seeing Alison in nothing more than a towel. She gasped, eyes wide in surprise.
“W-what are you doing here?” she exclaimed, clutching the towel close.
“You’re in my room,” I said lamely.
“No, I’m not. Your room’s next door.”
I caught a glimpse of Alison’s long legs, beads of water sliding down her fair skin. I swallowed hard at the dry lump wedged in my throat. All of the heat in my body suddenly rose to fill my cheeks and radiate out of the top of my head. Alison was as gorgeous as I remembered her. Her long locks were drenched, pooling over her shoulders as water dripped from the ends. It was almost ridiculous how elegant she looked, her beauty effortless and serene.
“Sebastian?” she whispered. “Are you okay?”
I licked my lips absentmindedly and cast my eyes down. “Sorry,” I muttered. “I’ll go.”
“Wait,” she called after me as I was about to turn.
I looked at her, stunned into silence by the scent of her floral shampoo and vanilla bodywash. I knew I should have turned to leave. Alison deserved some privacy. We stood there in awkward silence, neither of us willing to speak or move.
“Would you mind handing me that towel there?” she eventually said, tossing her chin in the direction of a smaller towel that was folded up and placed on the granite counter.
I nodded and handed it to her. Alison’s fingertips brushed against mine, a touch so gentle I thought I’d imagined it. She bit her bottom lip, and her gaze locked onto my own. The air around us was buzzing with electricity, the steam from her recent shower tingling my face as it cooled. I couldn’t look away. More importantly, I didn’t want to look away. This was probably the closest I’d been to her since our affair almost a two years ago.
My feet carried me forward, my body moving as though it had a mind of its own. I crashed my lips against hers as I circled her waist with my arms, pulling her close. Alison moaned into my mouth as she let go of her towel, abandoning it to fall to the tiled floor as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I’d forgotten how great she felt against me, forgotten how easily her lips could render me a bumbling mess. I didn’t realize how badly I’d wanted her until the front of my pants grew uncomfortably tight, my cock twitching to have her. I kissed her hard, pressing against her with enough force to have us both stumbling over onto the luxurious white bathroom rug.
Alison moaned as I hungrily kissed her neck and undid my belt. She helped me pull the front of my pants down, handling my throbbing cock with her hands. She stroked my swollen shaft, applying steady pressure as she ran her hand up and down at a brutally fast pace. I had no time to take in her intoxicatingly sweet scent or to admire the taste of her tongue on my own. This was frenzied, heated sex—the result of months upon months of denying ourselves to one another. Alison easily spread her legs for me as I shoved into her, earning myself a distressingly sexy whine.
“Sebastian!”
I snapped my hips into her, overwhelmed by the warmth of her wet pussy. Alison felt fantastic, and the sweet noises she made out of pleasure only served to spur me on. Even if I wanted to take things slow, to spend my time teasing her, I was too pent up to show any semblance of self-control. From what I could tell, Alison couldn’t hold back either. She wrapped her legs around me and locked her ankles to keep me in place. She dug her fingers into my back, gripping at the fabric of my shirt as she dragged her nails over my shoulders. The tiles were hard on my knees, but the tight, hot coil of impending climax made everything worthwhile.
Alison was breathing hard, and she bit down on my shoulder as though to keep from screaming. We both knew that Adam was just down the hall, and the last thing we wanted was for him to wake up. I kissed her lips and swallowed the sounds, sucking on her lower lip hard enough that it came away swollen. Alison really was like no other. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I’d wanted anyone this much. Every one of my thrusts grew more and more desperate, my hard cock searching for delicious friction. I lifted Alison’s hips so that I could better aim for her sweet spot. When her eyes rolled back and her mouth fell open in an inaudible oh, I knew I’d accomplished my mission.
I pulled out at the last minute and came hard, little white spots flashing across my vision as I did. Ropes of my seed painted her stomach and chest, claiming her as mine. Shuddering against her, I sucked a bruising kiss into her neck. There was no doubt in my mind that the area would be bruised by morning, evidence of our brief time together. Alison rolled her head back into the bathroom rug and sighed, a satisfied smile stretching across her face.
“I guess I should get back in the shower,” she joked weakly.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Please, don’t apologize.”
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
Alison shook her head. “Dare I say it, but I think that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”
“You mean that?” I sighed and pressed my forehead to hers, “What are we even doing?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “This is all kind of unchartered territory.”
“I don’t regret what we just did. Do you?”
She licked her lips. “No. No, I don’t.”
“What are we supposed to do now?”
She giggled. The sound was music to my ears. “Do you want to join me in the shower? I mean, since you’re already here.”
Royally Loved: The Royal Romances Books 1-5 Page 46