by Tina Duncan
Royce reared back as if she’d slapped him. ‘I’ve what?’ he bit out incredulously.
‘You took advantage of me,’ she replied in that same calm tone. ‘Your job was to protect me, not seduce me. Is this how you get your kicks? Seducing frightened women into sleeping with you?’
‘No. It is not.’ He walked further into the room. His movements were stiff, uncoordinated. ‘I do not make a habit of sleeping with clients. The way you’re talking anyone would think I forced you to sleep with me, and we both know that’s not true. You were more than a willing participant.’
She nodded. ‘You’re right. I was. If you want to know the truth I confused gratitude with desire.’
Royce stiffened. The length of his spine contracted, vertebra by vertebra. ‘Explain,’ he snapped out.
She shrugged. ‘You made me feel safe for the first time in a long time.’
He heard the words. Of course he did. He wasn’t deaf. But for several long seconds they made no sense to him.
And then they did.
They ripped through his psyche like a bulldozer ripping up concrete.
His hands clenched into fists at his sides. ‘Are you saying that you slept with me out of gratitude?’
She nodded. ‘That’s exactly what I’m saying.’
Memories flashed into his head.
The day he’d rescued her from Brady Shara had flung herself at him and said, ‘Boy, am I glad to see you!’
Just the other day after the court hearing Shara had said, ‘I knew I was safe with you to protect me.’
Hell, she was right.
Why hadn’t he seen it before?
His chest felt tight, as if a heavy weight was crushing it.
He opened his mouth to say something—he wasn’t sure what—but just as quickly shut it again.
What was the point?
Their relationship was over. He’d already decided that. Her betrayal in going behind his back had merely nailed that decision solid.
It no longer mattered why she’d slept with him—except it did.
It mattered one hell of a lot.
Royce clenched his hands into fists. Dragged in a breath.
All he wanted to do was grab her and demand some answers. But that would be a mistake—because he would be allowing his emotions to make decisions for him.
If ever there was a time to apply cool, calm logic to a situation it was now.
‘Fine,’ Royce clipped out, making a slashing movement with his hands. ‘I won’t bother you again.’
She seemed to pale, but surely that was his imagination.
‘You most certainly won’t,’ she said, using her best hoity-toity tone. ‘You won’t get the chance.’
Royce raised a brow.
‘Steve is in jail, therefore your services are no longer required.’
Royce frowned. No matter how unpalatable and distasteful he found the conversation, and her accusations, there was no way he was going to leave her unprotected. ‘That may only be temporary. He could be out on bail within twenty-four hours.’
She shrugged, looking completely unconcerned. ‘That doesn’t matter. Don’t you see? Standing up to him the way I did today set me free. I’ll never be scared of him again. And he knows it.’
Royce searched her face. Her inner strength shone as brightly as her outward beauty. ‘You mean that, don’t you?’
She nodded. ‘I do. That’s why I had to meet him alone. I had as much to prove to myself as I had to prove to Steve. If it’s any consolation, you’ve helped me reach this point.’
It was no consolation at all. Although it proved that Shara had had a damned good reason for going behind his back—an acceptable reason, even—he still felt as if a big, dark thundercloud was hanging above his head.
‘I’ll fight to keep him in jail,’ Shara continued. ‘I don’t want any other woman to have to go through what I’ve gone through. But Steve no longer has the power to hurt me.’
Royce stared at her.
He couldn’t argue with her rationale.
Like most bullies, Brady had targeted Shara because she was unlikely to retaliate. After her performance today he would know that was no longer the case.
Shara was right.
There was no reason for him to stay.
Which should have been cause for celebration.
Why, then, did it feel as if she’d just shot him through the centre of his chest? As if the life force of his blood was gushing from his body and draining away?
His spine lengthened until he was standing as tall as it was possible for him to stand. Every muscle in his body was as stiff as a board.
He wanted to rant and rave. He wanted to demand that she take back every word. He wanted to tell her that he was staying and that was that. End of story.
But none of that made any sense.
So he simply said, ‘Fine,’ for the second time in as many minutes.
For a split second he thought he saw a shadow of pain flit across the surface of her eyes, but he decided he was mistaken.
Without saying another word he spun on his heel and stalked out of the room.
He didn’t say goodbye.
He couldn’t.
Royce didn’t remember walking into the lounge room and zipping his laptop into its case. He didn’t remember walking up the stairs and packing his belongings. He didn’t remember getting in his car and driving away.
He was operating on automatic pilot.
He didn’t want to think. Or feel.
It wasn’t until a car horn blasted behind him that he came back to reality.
He stared at the traffic light and registered that it was green. From the continuing blare behind him it obviously had been for some time.
He pressed his foot down on the accelerator. The car surged forward.
He drove for about a hundred metres before he slammed on his brakes. The action earned him another horn blast, this time accompanied by a couple of expletives.
Royce rested his head on the steering wheel. His heart was racing, his breathing short and shallow.
It felt as if he’d sprinted that last one hundred metres.
His lungs felt fit to burst.
He felt fit to burst.
He thumped a clenched fist on the steering wheel and then did it again.
This was all wrong. Wrong on so many fronts he could hardly count them.
He’d thought this was what he’d wanted, but it wasn’t.
Driving away from Shara had made him realise that this was not what he wanted at all.
He’d spent so much time thinking and analysing and rationalising and trying to be his usual cool, logical and reasonable self that he hadn’t even realised he’d been fooling himself.
Slamming the car into gear, Royce spun it around. Then, pressing his foot to the floor, he hurtled back in the opposite direction.
Shara sank down in the middle of the Aubusson rug, trailing her fingers over the fine weave.
Tears were close, but she refused to let them fall.
This was where she’d fallen in love with Royce.
Right here in this very room.
She could see him now, in the black loose-fitting cotton pants and singlet he’d always worn during their karate lessons. She could see his smile and the lock of hair that fell across his forehead.
She could hear him saying, ‘Again!’ in that determined voice of his as he pushed her to do her best.
He’d given her so much—probably without even realising he was doing it.
And how had she repaid him?
By letting him walk away without telling him the truth.
Worse, by telling him a bunch of lies that reduced what they’d shared to a travesty.
Her fingers stilled on the carpet. Her body grew rigid. Her eyes widened.
She pressed a hand to her chest, her mind whirling with thoughts.
‘My God, I’ve done it again,’ she whispered out loud. ‘How could I be such a fool?’
Once again she hadn’t taken the time to think things through.
She’d been hurt.
So hurt that she’d lashed out without thinking.
She should know by now that making decisions in the heat of the moment always backfired on her. When she was emotionally upset she almost always made the wrong decision.
Why hadn’t she remembered that?
She thought back to the conversation they’d had on the roadside. It felt like eons ago.
Royce had accused her of playing the victim, of choosing a course of passive resistance where Steve was concerned.
And wasn’t she doing the same thing now, with Royce?
Royce had taught her to fight back—so why wasn’t she fighting now? Fighting for the man she loved instead of showing him the door?
She should have stamped her foot, or used one of his own manoeuvres against him and forced him to tell her what was wrong. She should have used every piece of ammunition she possessed to fight for her man.
She’d found the courage to confront Steve. Now she needed the courage to tell Royce exactly how she felt about him.
Shara scrambled to her feet.
Then she raced for the stairs, snatched up her car keys and headed for the garage.
Royce swung hard on the steering wheel and with a screech of tyres fishtailed into the Atwood Hall driveway.
His eyes widened, the breath locking tight in his lungs as Shara’s small red sedan loomed in front of him.
She was travelling at a rate of knots—practically hurtling down the driveway.
Reacting automatically, he slammed on the brakes and swung hard on the steering wheel, trying to avoid a collision.
He briefly registered the look of panic on Shara’s face before she did the same thing.
The only problem was she’d swung her car in the same direction as his.
Royce cursed and pressed even harder on the brake, even though it was impossible to depress it any further.
Thankfully their quick thinking worked.
When the two cars came together it was with the kiss of bumper bars. Royce didn’t need to look to know that there would barely be a dent.
He sat where he was for a count of ten, waiting for his heart to slow.
Then he pushed the door open and got out.
‘Are you mad?’ he roared. ‘Are you trying to get yourself killed for the second time today?’
Shara slammed her hands down on her hips. ‘Don’t yell at me.’
Her eyes were a fiery blue but Royce didn’t mind. Anything was better than the way she’d looked at him earlier. As if he wasn’t there. As if she was looking straight through him.
‘I’ll yell at you whenever you deserve it. Where on earth were you going at a thousand miles an hour?’
She lifted her hands off her hips and jammed them down again. ‘Excuse me? You were driving like a maniac. You almost hit me.’
‘But I didn’t.’
‘What are you doing here anyway?’
Royce folded his arms in front of his chest and stared her straight in the eye. ‘I came back to call you a liar.’
She blinked. ‘What did you say?’
‘I said you’re a liar,’ Royce replied calmly.
‘And just how do you figure that?’
Royce dragged in a breath.
Images from the last few weeks flashed across his brain.
Shara laughing.
Shara teasing him.
Shara staring up at him with eyes like stars as his body thrust into hers.
He took a step towards her and then another. ‘You did not sleep with me out of gratitude.’
She didn’t answer him. She just stared at him with deep, fathomless eyes.
He took another step towards her, clasped the tops of her arms. ‘Simple gratitude would not make you look at me as if you want to eat me alive. Simple gratitude would not make you cry out my name or dig your nails into my back when I made love to you. I may make you feel safe, but I also make you feel a hell of a lot more than that.’
To prove it Royce swept her into his arms, right there in the driveway.
He kissed her as if there were no yesterday and no tomorrow. As if this moment in time was all that existed.
When they were both breathing heavily, Royce lifted his head and put her away from him.
Shara’s lashes flickered open. She stared at him with desire-drenched eyes. This was the soft, wonderful woman he was used to seeing.
‘Now look me in the eye and tell me why you lied,’ he said softly.
Shara blinked and blinked again. The daze of desire slowly faded from her face. Something flickered in her eyes, and then the air whooshed from his lungs as she punched him forcefully in the chest.
His wide eyes fixed on her face.
Had he thought she was soft and wonderful?
Huh!
Try strong and angry!
‘What did you do that for?’ he demanded.
‘Because you deserved it.’ She shook her hand in the air. ‘That hurt.’
‘Serves you right.’ He took her hand in his and gently massaged it. ‘You’re going to make me regret teaching you karate if you’re going to start picking fights with everyone.’
Shara angled her chin into the air. ‘Steve deserved it, and so do you.’
‘What makes you say that?’
‘You know why, damn it! You rejected me.’
He had rejected her. And by doing so he had hurt her. He’d caught a brief glimpse of her pain but he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it.
Because acknowledging it meant confronting what was inside him.
Leaving her had made him confront it anyway.
‘I know I did. I’m sorry.’
She didn’t look the least bit appeased. ‘Why? Did I do something wrong?’
He smudged his thumb across her lower lip. ‘You didn’t do anything. It was me.’
‘I don’t understand.’
He sighed. ‘I know you don’t.’
‘Well, you’re not leaving here until you explain it to me,’ she said, thrusting her hands on to her hips. ‘So start talking!’
Royce stared at her for a moment, and then he flung his head back and laughed.
Shara really was a changed woman.
His chest swelled with pride … and something else.
‘I realised that when I was around you I was acting like a man—not a bodyguard. Doing so could have put you in danger.’ She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could Royce continued. Shara had proved that she was the bravest woman he’d ever met. He had to prove that he was her equal by doing the same thing. ‘At least that’s what I told myself.’
Her eyes narrowed in on him. ‘So if you weren’t worried about putting me in danger, what made you back off the way you did?’
‘Can’t you guess?’
Shara stared at him for a long moment, then shook her head.
Royce dragged in a breath. He’d faced some dangerous situations in his time. Even life-threatening ones. He’d dealt with each and every one of them with courage and daring.
And yet telling Shara how he felt was almost enough to bring him to his knees. ‘I was losing my emotional detachment. You more than anyone know how vulnerable that can make you feel.’
He heard her sharp inhalation of breath. Saw her eyes widen. ‘You mean you—?’
Royce ran a finger down her cheek. ‘Yes. I mean I love you.’
‘You do?’ She frowned. ‘But if you love me why did you push me away?’
‘Because I was scared.’
‘You? Scared?’ She sounded incredulous—as if it were impossible that he could feel that way.
‘Yes, me.’
‘But you’re not scared any more?’
‘No, I’m not. Driving away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I just couldn’t do it. I had to come back.’
She stared him straight in the eye. ‘Do you know where I was going when we a
lmost collided?’
Royce shook his head, his heart doing a stutter-step when he realised how close he’d come to hitting her. ‘No. I just hope it wasn’t another hare-brained scheme of yours.’
‘It wasn’t hare-brained,’ she protested.
‘You’re not safe to be let out on your own,’ Royce continued, as if she hadn’t spoken. ‘You need me around to keep you out of trouble.’
‘I agree.’
‘I mean it. You—’ He slammed his mouth closed. ‘What did you say?’
‘I said I agree.’
‘You do?’
She nodded. ‘I do. In fact I think I might need a permanent bodyguard.’
His heart thumped. He glanced at their cars, which were still sitting nose to nose, then turned back to Shara. ‘Where were you going?’
She stared at him. Her magnificent blue eyes were filled with an emotion that made his heart beat even harder. ‘I was coming to find you.’
‘You were?’
She nodded. ‘I was. Do you want to know why?’
His heart stopped thumping and made a massive leap into the back of his throat. ‘Yes.’
‘Because I decided I’d made a mistake. I sent you away because you’d hurt me, but watching you leave was even more painful. You taught me to stand up and fight, so I was coming to find you—to fight for my man.’
His heart swelled until it was fit to burst. ‘Do you mean it?’
Her eyes met his. ‘Yes, I mean it.’
Royce stopped breathing. So many thoughts and feelings rushed through him that he didn’t know which way was up.
Not sure what to say, not sure what to feel, he pulled her into his arms and crushed her mouth with his.
By the time he lifted his head they were both breathing heavily. ‘Are you sure?’
She nodded.
‘Say it,’ he demanded.
She didn’t question what he meant. She obviously knew he wanted to hear her say the words.
‘I love you,’ she murmured softly.
And it was there in her face.
It had been there for him to see, only he’d been too blind to see it.
The glow in her face. Her eyes gazing at him like stars.
Royce closed his eyes and savoured the words, felt them filling his bloodstream. He opened his eyes and stared down at her.
‘You have to tell me now,’ she said breathlessly.
He frowned down at her, taking in the mischievous gleam in her eyes. ‘Tell you what?’