What the hell was happening to my life?
Chapter 5
Kaiden
Fuck!
I’d never been so goddamned pissed at myself before. What the hell was the matter with me? Just as I’d been having a good moment with Riley, I’d had to go and fuck it up by doing the same old shit that I always did with other girls. She wasn’t like most other girls, and yet I’d treated her like she was, because I was just so used to being an asshole these days.
But that was no excuse for my behavior.
In the restaurant, I’d lost my nerve when I’d finally admitted that I remembered her. I’d been on the verge of reopening old wounds to let her back into my life, but I couldn’t handle feeling so vulnerable, so I’d switched it around and become the sleazy douchebag that I was best at being. And then, even after all of my shitty behavior and stupid jokes, she’d given me the chance to kiss her outside, and once again I’d changed my tune at the last minute and acted like it was all a big fucking joke to me.
What the hell was it about Riley Solis that made me second-guess myself and act like a fool? What made her so damn different to other women?
Deep down, I already knew the answer to that question—she was too good for me. Way too fucking good, and she always had been. That was why.
“Fucking hell,” I muttered to myself, deciding to head to the nearest bar to get a drink. I knew I was going to be breaking my rule of only drinking after a fight, but in that moment I didn’t really care. I needed to cool down and clear my head, and I needed to calm my racing heart and slow the adrenaline that was coursing through my veins.
Just as I stepped away from the alleyway, the shrill ringtone of my cell phone sounded in my pocket. I instantly thought that Riley was calling me, but of course it wasn’t her. Why the hell would she phone me after what just happened?
To make my night even worse, the name lighting up my screen was the one I wanted to see least in the whole world.
Serra Silver.
I knew that I should ignore it like I had every other time she called. I could practically hear Riley screaming at me to cut her off, saying that speaking to her would be a PR nightmare, but all of the emotions that were swirling around inside me made me act irrationally. I needed someone to take my annoyance out on, and since she’d picked that moment to call me, it looked like it was going to be Serra.
“What?” I snapped, pressing the phone up against my ear.
“Well, hello there, big boy,” she said, already trying to wind me up. Why the hell was this girl incapable of having a normal conversation? “How are you doing?”
“Not very well, thanks to you,” I replied, growing increasingly angry at the sound of her sugary-sweet voice.
“Oh, don’t be like that,” she said. I rolled my eyes. I could practically see her pouting in the way she did when she wanted to look cute and innocent.
Her sweet little media image was bullshit. She made herself out to be this wholesome, lovely young woman, but I knew her well enough now to know that it was all made up for the cameras.
That was another thing I liked about Riley, come to think of it. She didn’t invent anything for anyone’s benefit like Serra did. She was all real, and she was fantastic.
But I wasn’t speaking with her right now, unfortunately.
“What do you want, Serra?” I asked.
“Let’s hang out,” she replied.
“Are you fucking serious? I’m not even going to touch you with a ten foot pole after the shit you’ve been saying about me; claiming I’m your baby daddy and all.”
“Oh, I think you will,” she said. “Because I can see you right now.”
I spun around, my eyes flickering all over the place, and I finally saw a petite figure at the end of the street, waving and slinking towards me. I let out a defeated sigh, knowing that there was no way I could get out of this now that she was so close. Serra was an extremely manipulative woman anyway, so there was no point in trying to escape her clutches if she’d decided that she wanted something from me.
I hung the phone up and continued to stare in her direction. I hated her with a passion and wished desperately that I’d never met her, but it seemed I was going to have to play nice until I figured out what she wanted. She was practically skipping down the street as she drew closer, so I knew that whatever the hell it was, it had to be good.
Good for her, I mean.
Our paths had crossed a few times over the past couple of years, seeing as we were both in the limelight, but I’d never given her the time of day until that fateful night ten weeks ago when we’d hooked up after a party. She’d obviously decided that I was going to be her newest target before the night had even begun, because she’d started flirting and clinging to me from the very start, not once leaving my side. She’d been playing a different character back then; using her acting skills to her advantage. I’d found her to be cool, funny and likable despite her apparent clinginess, which had actually come across as kinda cute at the time.
Now I was well aware that she’d put on that entire façade. It was all fake, just like her hair and tits, and I could see her for the cold, calculating bitch that she really was now. I just wished I’d known it back then. It would have saved me a hell of a lot of trouble.
As soon as the party had started to draw to a close that night, her flirting had become more intense. I’d necked a few beers, so I was far more open to her suggestions than I might have been if I was sober. Alcohol always made me do stupid shit when I had too much, but I wouldn’t be making that mistake again.
Serra had asked me back to her hotel room, and as soon as we’d arrived, she’d started kissing me with all the passion of a woman who was going to be wild in bed, and I’d happily reciprocated. I’d actually been excited to take it to that level with her, but as soon as we’d gotten naked, the lust had started to dwindle, and it had turned into a boring night of lackluster sex. I wasn’t quite sure where it had gone wrong; it had just fizzled, and as soon as it was over, I made my excuses and left, not keen for a repeat performance.
And that should have been the end of it.
She’d told me she was on the pill, and I’d used a condom anyway, so if she actually was pregnant—which I somewhat doubted she was—then there was no way it was mine.
She grinned condescendingly as she came within earshot. ““Hi, Kaiden. It’s so good to see you again.”
“Right,” I said, still trying to figure out her motives.
She stepped closer to me and adjusted her top, flashing me some of her fake-tanned cleavage. She had her collagen-enhanced lips puckered as if she thought I might lean in and kiss them, but it only served to make her look like a deluded goldfish.
Speaking of fish, what was it Riley said to me earlier? I’ve seen whale sharks more attractive than you, or something like that. Fuck, she was funny. I felt another pang of remorse for driving her away tonight, and I folded my arms and stared down at Serra, my face impassive.
“Was there something specific you wanted, Serra?”
She sniffed and wiped her nose, and it was then that I noticed her pupils were slightly pinpricked. I vaguely wondered if she was high on coke or some other illicit substance, and she gave me what I assumed she thought was her most sensual smile.
“Just wondering how much you’ve missed me. How many times have you jacked off with my tits in mind?” she said. “I bet you wish you could fuck me again right now.”
Her voice was husky and seductive, with just a hint of derision, and she was definitely high on something if she thought I’d ever jacked off to the thought of those bolted-on silicone tits of hers.
I pressed my lips into a thin line, bottling up all the expletives I wanted to let loose. Christ, Serra was deluded. Even if she’d been the best fuck of my life—which she hadn’t by a long shot—I wouldn’t go there again, not after all the trouble she’d caused me in the last week with all her pregnancy allegations. She obviously assumed that she was so hot t
hat I’d be able to look past her craziness, but no one was that hot.
“Probably best not to do anything too rough. Not in your condition. Sorry, your alleged condition.” I gestured towards her stomach, wanting to turn the conversation towards the topic at hand. There was no point in beating around the bush. “I don’t think fucking in a cold, dirty alleyway would be good for the baby, if there really is a baby.”
“Oh, you heard about that?” She examined her nails closely, keeping her tone light, as if she was innocent in this whole thing.
Had I heard about it? Christ, she was bat-shit insane.
“Serra, you left me three voicemails and sent me six texts about it two days ago. Not to mention the fact that you called every fucking gossip column in the city.”
I shook my head at her, showing my disapproval, and she smirked back at me like the bitch she was. “Well, since you never replied to my messages, I assumed you didn’t get them. Then I figured the only way to get your attention again was to go to the gossip blogs,” she said.
“How logical,” I replied, my voice thick with sarcasm. It was lost on her, and she smiled.
“So are you excited to be a daddy?” she asked, stroking my arm.
I pushed her hand off me. “You cannot seriously be sticking with this bullshit, Serra,” I said. “We both know it’s not my kid, and that’s why I ignored you. How do you think the real father is going to feel about all of this? Are you planning to let him know through the media too, after you’ve used me to drum up all the attention you want?”
“Don’t be like that.” She trailed her finger up my chest, which I instantly shook off again. “It is your baby, but it doesn’t have to be this way. We can be a family, you know. I’d like that.”
“Don’t mess with me, Serra. Even if you were pregnant with my kid, I wouldn’t want to be with you. I’d be there for you, obviously, but I’d never be with you.”
It was harsh, but it was true. It had to be said.
She got right up in my face before speaking again. All the innocence was gone, replaced with cold anger. “Just because you’re a total asshole and nowhere near as good a fuck as your reputation might suggest, that doesn’t mean this baby isn’t yours.”
“You told me that you were on the pill, and we used a condom as well. There’s no way I got you pregnant. You’re full of shit.”
“I lied,” she said, looking extremely pleased with herself for some reason. “You seemed so paranoid about protection, so I told you I was on the pill just in case. And as for the condom…well, everyone knows condoms are only eighty-six percent effective. Besides, it isn’t like you can’t afford to pay for this child, so why does it matter?”
I recoiled at her words. Fuck. I’d been so damn convinced that there was no chance I could be the father that I hadn’t really considered the possibility that she’d been lying about being on the pill that night. She was right about the condom too; maybe it had broken a tiny bit that night, just enough to not be noticeable.
Shit, if this was true, then my entire future was about to change, and guilt started to crash down over me.
How could Serra even think this was about money at all? If she was really pregnant, then there was a life at stake here; a baby that could be mine. I could be a father, which was actually one of the things I’d always wanted out of life despite my party-hard reputation. Just because Serra was the mother didn’t make it the child’s fault. We could get past our differences if need be, because I’d do anything to be a good dad.
I couldn’t be like my own father.
“Just because I had to picture that I was with someone else to get through that lame-ass screw doesn’t mean that it wasn’t your semen impregnating me,” Serra continued, still desperately trying to get a reaction out of me.
It worked. She’d shaken me right out of my starry-eyed parental fantasy.
“Time to grow up, Kaiden Cross,” she added, narrowing her eyes.
“Stop it,” I said. “I get it. Just stop it.”
I was furious now, and I was struggling to reel it in. I didn’t want to totally lose my shit with Serra; I couldn’t give her what she so clearly wanted from me.
“Stop what?” she asked, voice all innocent again.
“Just fucking cut it out. You need to stop being such a bitch if this is really happening.”
My mind was all over the place, and I didn’t know what the hell to do. I backed away from Serra, but she moved closer again, too close for my liking. I held out my hand to keep her at as much of a distance as I could manage.
“Don’t touch me, Serra,” I said in a warning tone. “If the baby is really mine, then I’ll be there for you every step of the way and support you as much as you need, but I don’t want a relationship with you. At least not a romantic one.”
“Please don’t say that. We should be together. Do you really think I’m a bitch?” she replied. She grabbed my hand like a desperate starlet and stuck out her bottom lip, forcing out some tears just to complete the effect. “I’m sorry, Kaiden, I’m just so hormonal right now. It’s making me say and do all this crazy stuff. I didn’t mean what I said. You weren’t terrible in bed.”
I rolled my eyes, unable to take another second of her bullshit. She was a fucking drama queen, and I was certain that most people caved to her every whim, but that sure as hell wasn’t going to be me. Especially not now, seeing as I still wasn’t one-hundred percent sure if she was even pregnant with my kid.
As soon as that thought entered my mind, everything else started to become clear, and I remembered how I’d initially believed that she wasn’t even pregnant. I could still be right about that. After all, Serra had just admitted that she lied about being on the pill, so she’d already proved she wasn’t trustworthy, and honestly, she was the exact type of person to make up a pregnancy. Whether it was to boost her popularity or get some weird sort of revenge on me for not instantly falling in love with her, I wasn’t sure. But if there was no baby, then there could be no chance of it being mine. If I could prove that she was lying, then I could get her out of my life forever, and in that moment, there was nothing more appealing to me than ridding my existence of Serra-fucking-Silver. It might damage her reputation, but that wasn’t my problem—if she was lying, then she’d have brought all of it on herself.
“Serra, I’m sorry to have to say this, but I need to be sure you’re telling me the truth.”
“Bu...but…” she said, conjuring up some more crocodile tears as her voice trailed off.
I talked over her fake tears, ignoring her acting to get my point across. I didn’t want her to cut me off completely, just in case my theory was wrong, because I didn’t want to get shut out of my baby’s life…if there even was a baby. I just needed to be careful with my next words.
“I want to be there for the baby, I really do, but I just need…”
“I agree, we should be together,” she said, her tears miraculously drying up. She grabbed my hands and held them in hers, looking deeply into my eyes as if we were a couple desperately in love. “That’s all I wanted anyway. It’ll be amazing, this will make us the new it couple. We’ll get so many magazine covers and—“
“No, that’s not what I meant,” I said, snatching my hands away and interrupting her little speech. “I want evidence. You need to show me an ultrasound picture or pee on a stick in front of me, or whatever it is they do these days.”
“Evidence?” she shrieked. “You need evidence? What are you, a fucking cop?”
She was pissed as hell now, but I didn’t care. She was being totally unreasonable, and it was ridiculous. I was sure that any guy in my situation would ask for the same, because it was just common sense.
“I need evidence,” I repeated, keeping my voice firm and steady. “I don’t want to hear another word from you, let alone the fucking gossip blogs, until I’ve seen solid proof that you’re pregnant. That’s all you need to do, Serra.”
And with that, two things happened at the sa
me time. The first was a series of heart-wrenching sobs that began to rack Serra’s entire body, making her look like the victim that she genuinely seemed to believe she was, and the second was a flurry of bright lights bursting out from every angle, almost blinding me.
I turned into the bright lights curiously, shielding my eyes from the flashes. What the hell was going on now?
Holy shit...it was the paparazzi. How the fuck had that happened?
I looked back at Serra to see that she was managing to cry and look pretty at the same time, and I was willing to bet that she’d set this whole thing up. She’d probably wanted this argument to happen so she could come out of it looking like a poor abandoned pregnant woman, and she’d probably called the media and told them to come here. At this point, I wouldn’t have put anything past her.
She kept standing there feigning sadness while I gawped at the cameras like a dimwitted fool—one who’d spoken some rather cutting words only moments before for everyone to hear—and questions rang out from everywhere. I needed to get out, needed to run away. I couldn’t stand it for another second, and I glanced around, hunting for the escape route that I so desperately needed.
All I could think of was how much Riley was going to kill me when this story broke all over the internet fifteen minutes from now. Fuck, how could I have made such a mess out of all of this? It was only her second day on the job, and already I’d become a bigger PR disaster than the guy who’d called the Titanic ‘unsinkable’. She was going to think that I was trying to ruin her life at this rate.
I finally noticed the alleyway where I’d acted like a dick to Riley only a few moments ago, so I took the opportunity to duck down it and escape. My car was parked in a lot behind the restaurant, so I’d easily be able to get to it via the alley. I hoped so, anyway.
I expected some photographers to follow me as I dashed away, but none of them did. They were all too focused on Serra, and I hadn’t missed the little smirk she’d flashed in my direction as I’d searched for my escape route.
She had set this up, and she wanted me to know that. She needed me to know just how dangerous she could be, and I was starting to get the idea. She was worse than I’d ever given her credit for, and now I was stuck in a huge fucking mess. I’d never been a victim of female manipulation before, and I had to hand it to her—she was insanely good. She’d considered absolutely everything, and she’d managed to get exactly what she wanted out of the situation. She hadn’t only manipulated me; she’d coerced the media into playing her little game too.
Bad Boy Brit (A British Bad Boy Romance) Page 27