“It isn’t too late, you know,” Kaiden said in a much softer tone. He’d obviously realized that he’d struck a nerve. “You can still do it. You’re only twenty-four.”
I was nowhere near ready to talk about this with him, so I took the coward’s way out and changed the subject. “Hey, do you remember when we were about ten, and you almost broke your arm jumping over Mrs. Willet’s fence?”
“Yeah,” he replied. “I was chasing Benny because he’d been pulling your hair and teasing you in school.”
“His friend told me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend, but he was too frightened of you after that.”
“Good! What an idiot, being nasty to you to show that he liked you.”
“As if you didn’t do the same!” I said. “You threw a dead spider at Melody Bishop once, all because you had a little crush on her and wanted her attention.”
“True, true,” he said with a grin. “I always had more of a crush on you, though.”
My cheeks began to feel warm. “You did not! You said I was like a sister to you,” I said.
He nodded, and his grin grew wider. “Yeah, I said that, but deep down, I had the biggest crush on you. True story.”
I’d had no idea that Kaiden had ever had a crush on me when we were kids, but it didn’t matter now. We’d been so young then, and childish crushes were no longer an issue…and yet, hearing him admit that made my heart skip a beat.
“Do you remember Tree Leaves and Sunshine?” he continued. “Oh, man, I haven’t thought about that in years.”
Tree Leaves and Sunshine had been our version of ‘cops and robbers’, but we’d decided to give it another name so no one else could work out what we were playing. That was what our friendship had been like—exclusive, just for me and him.
I nodded. “Yeah, that was fun.”
A sudden bravery overtook me, and I asked the question I’d previously vowed I never would, even back in the past when I’d fantasized about being reunited with him one day. “Why did you stop writing letters to me?”
He looked down at his feet for a few moments, taking a few deep breaths. Clearly this was difficult for him, and that piqued my curiosity even further. I’d always just assumed that he’d forgotten about me, that it was an issue of ‘out of sight, out of mind’, but maybe there was more to it than that.
“After we moved, things just got really…difficult. As I’m sure you remember, things were always challenging with my Dad,” he said.
Anger burst through my mind at that. Challenging was the understatement of the century. His father had been an abusive asshole, and I’d spent many hours back then cleaning up the cuts and bruises Kaiden had ended up with.
Despite everything I wanted to say right now, I kept my mouth firmly shut, sensing that this wasn’t the right moment.
“Well, it just got worse. I was bullied at my new school because I was an easy target—already beaten down—and the other kids seemed to sense that. I was just too ashamed and upset to say anything to you. I justified it to myself by saying that I didn’t want to worry you when there was nothing you could do to help me. I knew you’d hate to be so far away and unable to do anything.”
He was right about that, but not knowing anything had been awful too.
“I’m sorry,” he continued. “But you know, that’s the main reason I decided to learn how to fight. I did it quietly after school, and then one day, my Dad started trying to beat me up again. I laid him out with one punch, and he never did it again. And then I guess it became a way for me to channel all my past anger towards him; fighting and hitting stuff at the gym, or sparring with other guys, rather than beating the shit out of him every other day like he used to do to me…which believe me, I wanted to do for a long time.”
God…I hadn’t even considered that Kaiden’s psycho father might’ve been the reason he started fighting in the first place, but it made perfect sense. I should’ve realized it before now; it just seemed so obvious now that I knew.
Tears were brimming in my eyes now, and I knew that if I opened my mouth at all, they’d come pouring down my face, so instead I nodded before standing and throwing my arms around him. Behind his back, I allowed the tears to stream; all the emotion that I’d kept in for all these years finally bursting out.
“Sure there aren’t any whale sharks you’d rather be hugging right now?” he said gruffly, and I giggled through my tears.
We stayed like that for a moment, and then he pulled away just as I brushed the wetness away from my cheeks and regained control of myself.
“So,” he said. “I guess a lot has changed, huh? How’s your family these days, anyway?”
He asked this question so innocently, but it brought everything back.
My family.
My mother’s death.
The cancer…the tests…today’s phone call.
I couldn’t tell him one part of it without getting into it all, because if I gave him any information, it would just lead him to ask for more. Kaiden knew too much about me to not ask about every single person in my family, and I wasn’t ready for that because it would inevitably lead to the topic that I’d been trying to forget about, at least until I could find out the truth from my doctor.
“They’re all fine,” I said, forcing a smile. “Um, look, I have to go. I have a lot to do early tomorrow morning to sort out this ultrasound and press conference, so I better get home. But don’t worry, this whole Serra situation will be under control soon.”
“Oh. Okay, sure,” he replied, arching his eyebrows. He was clearly confused by my sudden change of attitude and my haste to leave, but he didn’t question anything. “So I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I’ll call you,” I replied, avoiding eye contact. “I’ll set up the ultrasound appointment early, so make sure you’re awake.”
I expected that to be the end of it, but he insisted on following me down the stairs and walking me out. I walked quickly and uncomfortably, desperately wanting to be at home in my own bed where I could allow myself to feel everything in private.
Just as I went to open the door, Kaiden grabbed my arm and gently spun me around to face him. “Are you okay, Riley?”
“Yes,” I said. I looked down to the ground once more, but he lifted my chin up with one finger until our eyes were locked. Emotion flooded through me, and I gulped to keep it all down. Just seeing him was making me feel all sorts of things that I couldn’t understand.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
I nodded, my head fuzzy now. Everything in the world was wrong with me, but as I gazed up into his eyes, none of that seemed to matter. Not one bit. His hand traveled upwards from my chin and started to stroke my hair, and the gesture was so sweet that I almost fell apart at his fingertips. I noticed his lips moving closer to me, but instead of making the smart move of pushing him away, I felt myself reacting and leaning in too, my own lips parting in anticipation.
I couldn’t deny it anymore. I wanted him.
Badly.
He finally kissed me, sending fireworks exploding all throughout my body. He was gentle, only pressing his lips softly against mine for a moment, and then he came up for air for just a split-second before swooping back down and kissing me with frenzied desperation. It was like a dam had broken between us, driving the urge for me to tunnel my fingers through his hair and wrap my arms around him, and I slid my tongue into his mouth to meet his.
I wanted it all.
Our kiss turned harsher, lips locking in a hunger with enough heat to set the world on fire. Our tongues clashed in a bid for domination, and I finally gave in and let him take over, moaning into his mouth as his hands tightly gripped me. He drew back a moment later and gently nibbled on my lower lip, drawing a gasp from me, and the tiny stinging sensation of pleasure mixed with pain finally knocked some sense into me.
Oh, shit. This couldn’t be happening.
“We can’t do this,” I said, scrambling out of Kaiden’s grip and pushing him aw
ay.
I stared up at him for a few seconds, letting reality flood through me.
It wasn’t just the fact that Kaiden was my client that made this wrong. Not only was he possibly having a baby with another woman soon, but he’d already made it clear that he was a player, and I couldn’t have that kind of stuff in my life right now, no matter how much I wanted him. There was just too much at stake.
“Riley, I…” he began, but I cut him off.
“I have to go,” I said. If I stayed and listened to what he had to say, there was no doubt I’d fall even further into this pit of inappropriate desire.
I pushed past him and ran outside, letting the cold night air slap some sense into me. I thought I heard him call my name as I sprinted down the driveway, but I was going far too quickly and had absolutely no intention of turning back.
I knew I could never allow myself to have feelings for Kaiden. Sure, I’d known him a long time ago, but so much had changed since then. He’d become an almost-entirely different person, and besides, there were so many other things that made it a bad idea for me to fall for him.
So that was settled—I definitely couldn’t have any sort of feelings for him.
Too bad I already did...
Chapter 7
Kaiden
“Are you sure she’s going to be there?” I asked Riley, allowing my nerves to get the better of me. She’d called me at six-thirty this morning to tell me that she’d arranged everything for the ultrasound, and even now I was struggling to believe it. I just couldn’t see how she’d managed to get it sorted with Serra’s PR team.
“Yes,” she insisted, sounding tenser than I would like. “Like I said earlier, I spoke to her main PR representative, and I made him see just why this was necessary. She’ll be there. I already gave her plenty of leeway and allowed her to use her regular doctor so that she’s more comfortable.”
I was walking one step behind her now, allowing her to take the lead. She obviously knew what she was doing, and I wanted and needed that sort of control in my life right now.
I also wanted to kiss her again, but judging by the way she’d pushed me away before running off last night, it probably wasn’t a good idea, especially seeing as she hadn’t even mentioned it since then at all. I shouldn’t have done it in the first place, but fuck…I hadn’t been able to resist. Stolen kisses were always the hottest, and this was Riley. Perfect Riley Solis; the girl I’d always crushed on as a kid.
I was quite sure that what I felt when I looked at her now was something more than a crush, though.
“Okay,” she finally announced, looking up from the piece of paper in front of her. “This is the address.”
“Here?” I asked, arching a brow. I would have thought Serra would go for the absolute best treatment available, but the small white building we were standing in front of right now looked like a middle-of-the-range GP’s office. “Are you sure?”
“Yep,” Riley replied. “This is where they told me she’d be. I guess we just wait for her now. She should be here any—”
“Kaaaiden!” A sweet, high-pitched voice rang out and cut Riley off, sounding like nails on a blackboard. “I’m here!”
Serra sounded way too happy for my liking, and as she approached us, I could feel Riley tensing up beside me. She already had her guard up towards Serra, which was actually the best thing she could have done. I only wished I’d done the same thing all those weeks ago. Then I might not be in such a shitty situation with her.
Then again, if this hadn’t happened, my manager wouldn’t have organized a new PR team, and I wouldn’t have seen Riley again.
“Who’s this?” Serra sneered, looking down at Riley as if she was nothing more than a piece of dirt on the ground.
Riley kept calm. “I’m Riley Solis. Kaiden’s PR rep,” she said. I noticed her moving slightly closer to Serra and holding out her hand to allow her to shake it. I couldn’t help but be impressed at her holding onto her professionalism, even in this awkward situation as she faced a bitchy, self-absorbed nightmare like Serra.
“Yeah? Well, I guess you already know who I am,” Serra replied, ignoring Riley’s outstretched hand.
God, who the hell did she think she was? She wasn’t that famous. It wasn’t like everyone watched her shitty soap opera. Most people had the good taste to avoid it.
I felt a slow, simmering anger building up inside me as I watched Riley awkwardly withdraw her hand after Serra’s ignorance. How could Serra be so fucking rude? Was it because I was with another girl, or was it just because Riley was an employee of mine? Even when I’d become a household name, I’d never treated anyone who worked for me with that level of disrespect. How a person treated their subordinates really said a lot about what kind of person they were deep down.
“Shall we?” Riley said, pasting on another bright smile as she indicated to the small doctor’s office that was holding my fate in its hands.
I felt my heartbeat kick up a notch as we entered, and Riley took the lead, asserting her dominance by announcing our arrival to the receptionist.
“Morning. We have an appointment with Dr. Banks,” she said.
Serra grinned sweetly beside Riley, as if she was the nicest person on the planet. Don’t fall for it. I tried to telepathically communicate with the girl sitting behind the desk, but it was too late. She had stars in her eyes.
“Of course, go right through to Dr. Banks’ office. First door on the right,” the receptionist said, pointing down a short hallway. “By the way, I love the new season of Meadowlands, Ms. Silver! You’re perfect as Frankie’s evil sister.”
Serra gave her a simpering smile. “Thank you. It’s fans like you who make it all worth it.”
My eyes almost rolled right out of my head at that.
“Shall I come?” Riley whispered, finally showing a little uncertainty. I nodded quickly, not wanting to face this ultrasound by myself.
“Yeah. That’d be good.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
I nodded, grabbed her hand, and tugged her alongside me as we headed down the hallway. This was a massive moment for me. My emotions were all over the place, and I couldn’t be doing this without Riley. I needed her. I wasn’t sure why, but I did. Maybe it was a mental throwback to all the times she’d helped me when I needed her as a kid. A vivid memory of her gently cleaning up my split lip one afternoon when I was nine flashed in my mind, and I pushed the thought away. Now wasn’t the time to be remembering all that crap.
I’d expected Serra to kick up more of a fuss at Riley’s presence, but now it was as if she’d become invisible to her. I suppose she thought that was the sole purpose of staff members—to be there when necessary, but remain quiet and unobtrusive unless asked for something.
She barged right into the doctor’s room without knocking on the door, displaying her rudeness once more. “Dr. Banks! Good to see you,” she said in a sugary voice.
I watched her step closer to him, trying to work her magic on him just like she tried to do with every other guy. I’d seen this performance before; even been on the receiving end of it once. Seeing it from afar showed just showed ridiculous it was, and it made me more ashamed of myself for getting sucked in.
Dr. Banks was a dark-haired man who appeared to be in his mid-thirties, and he nodded at Serra. “Good to see you too, Serra. It’s been a while. How’s the iron levels?” he said. His accent was British, and his voice was kind.
“They’re fine now. I eat a lot more meat these days,” Serra replied, licking her lips as if she’d said the sexiest thing in the world. “Anyway, where do you want me? On the bed over here?”
Her voice had become breathy and a little seductive, and the doctor blushed brightly and began to stammer. He was clearly embarrassed by Serra’s show, but it was seemingly working on him at the same time, which made me feel angry all over again.
“Ye…yes, just over there on the examination table. Can you pull your top up? I just need to see your stomach
.”
“Sure,” Serra replied. Then she giggled, flicking her platinum blonde hair over her shoulder in what she must’ve thought was a flirtatious gesture.
Riley pushed me slightly forward, encouraging me to get closer to Serra to regain some of the control. I offered her a hand, helping her up onto the examination table, but I refused to make eye contact with her. I could feel her giving me a steely look all the same, but I didn’t want her to be able to sense what this was doing to me and how badly it was affecting me.
“Okay, Ms. Silver,” Dr. Banks said. He stepped closer to the table, holding a tube in his hand. “I’m going to rub some ultrasound gel on your stomach now. It’s a little cold, so I’m just warning you of that now.”
Serra nodded, and then she squealed and grabbed hold of my hand as he spread the clear gel all over her. “Oh! It really is freezing, doc!”
He nodded and gave her a kind smile, and then I watched him grab the ultrasound transmitter probe. The whole thing was attached to a screen, and a moment later, he began to run it over Serra’s abdomen. My heart started to pound so heavily I was afraid it might burst from my chest, and my mouth became as dry as sandpaper.
This was it. This was the moment that could change my life forever.
The entire world shrank right down to myself and that screen. Serra faded away, the doctor became nothing more than a prop, and even Riley vanished into the background of my mind. All I could hear was my heart racing.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
And then it finally happened. Dr. Banks cleared his throat, and he pointed to something on the screen. “Ah, there we go! See that rounded part right there? That’s the baby’s head. Developing nicely, and you’re definitely around twelve weeks along.”
“Oh my god…”
I heard Riley speak behind me, vocalizing a similar shock to what I was feeling. There really was a baby. My baby. This was real.
Fuck.
Serra was actually pregnant.
Chapter 8
Kaiden
It took a while for my mind to float back down to earth, and then I noticed a singular tear was sliding down my face as emotion swallowed me up. This was real. I was about to become a father. Sure, it might not have been with the woman of my dreams, and it might not have been an ideal situation, but I could make it anything I want, and that’s what I intended to do.
Bad Boy Brit (A British Bad Boy Romance) Page 29