Riding Solo

by Woods, Karen

  Winnie was ready to give him a piece of his mind when Grace stepped in. “His bags are packed don’t you worry. And, if you’re acting like that, don’t you bother coming around here again. You need to show me some bleeding respect and stop acting like a smacked arse.”

  Phil held his head back laughing as she opened the front door. She started to pass him some of his father’s clothes, he was ranting at the top of his voice. “The house is getting sold, as soon as my dad is well enough. It’s getting put on the market, so you better start looking for somewhere else to stay with your leg-over.”

  Grace swung her arm back and whacked it onto his face. Blood surged from his bottom lip and he was livid. Picking up the bags from the floor he started to make his way back to his car. “As far as I’m concerned mother, you’re dead. Do what you’re doing. I just hope you realise before it’s too late. Grow up and stop acting like some young schoolgirl.”

  Winnie had heard enough and cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted behind him. “Ay, fucking Charlie big potatoes. Keep your opinion to yourself. Your mother is a good woman, how dare you speak to her like that, you little runt. It’s different when you’re on the phone borrowing money though, isn’t it? She’s the best mother ever then, isn’t she, you ungrateful bastard?”

  Grace pulled her back towards the front door, she could see in Winnie’s eyes she was ready to run after him. “Don’t waste your breath love. He’s always been a daddy’s boy. He can do no wrong in his eyes, leave them to it. I won’t lose any sleep over them.”

  Grace and Winnie walked back into the house. What a day it had been, the drama was never ending. Grace sat chewing her fingernails; she always did this when she was stressed. “I’m supposed to be seeing Danny later. Look at the state of my nerves I think I’ll have to cancel with him.” Grace held her flat palm out in front of her, she was right, her nerves were shattered. She was shaking like a leaf

  “You won’t do anything of the sort. Get up those stairs and get your glad rags on. You’re going out tonight no matter what. Why would you want to sit in here all night staring at four walls?”

  “I won’t be alone; I’ll be with you Winnie.”

  Grace’s friend hitched her skirt above her knobbly knees and started to dance about the room. “Not tonight my dear, I’m singing again. So get ready and let’s go and paint the town red. Fuck Stan, and Fuck Martin. This is our time, let go and enjoy it.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Amanda and Harry walked into the town centre before they went to their therapy class. The weather was cold and winter was nearly upon them. Amanda pulled her pink scarf up over her mouth and nose and all you could see were her two blue eyes popping over it. Harry reached over and held her hand as they walked along. At first she was embarrassed but once she could feel the warmth from his palms she didn’t waste a minute taking his hand. The couple looked so in love, yes they were chalk and cheese, but somehow they came together as one. The two broken hearts were starting to repair, Harry hardly ever mentioned his ex’s name anymore and Amanda had taken down the photographs she had of her deceased partner gathered around her house.

  “Wait until we tell the guys we’re together at class,” Harry chuckled. “Grace will be shocked.”

  “Never mind Grace,” she stressed, “what will Marcy say?”

  Harry carried on walking and he smirked. “Hopefully she’ll say well done. I mean, she can’t say anything to us, can she?”

  Amanda snuggled into him, she never replied. Her head was pressed against his biceps. Walking into the town centre they were looking for somewhere to get a quick bite to eat. Stepping inside a Nando’s restaurant Harry scanned the area for a table. From the side of him he could hear someone shouting in a loud shrieking voice. Morgan ran to her father’s side and stood with her hands on her hips. “Dad, didn’t you hear me shouting you.”

  Harry was tongue-tied. “No, I didn’t hear you. Who are you here with?”

  Morgan was looking Amanda up and down and she wasn’t happy. She snarled at her. “Who’s this dad?” Amanda wanted to say something to the cocky girl but Harry stepped in. “This is my girlfriend, Amanda,” he turned his head slowly and jerked his head. “This is my daughter Amanda. Morgan, this is Amanda.”

  The young girl snarled at her father’s new girlfriend. Her face was beetroot and she was stood twisting her body. “I’m with my mam. We’re sat over there, shall I bring her over?”

  Harry panicked. His eyes shot over to where Morgan’s mother was sat, their eyes locked and his body went into shock. This was the first time he’d seen Jenny in months. “No, love I’m staying here. We’re just going to grab a bite to eat then we’re getting off aren’t we Amanda?” Amanda wasn’t listening; she was more interested in Harry’s ex- girlfriend. She was weighing her up and down from across the room.

  “Just let us grab something to eat first and then we’ll come over to meet your mother,” Amanda butted in.

  Morgan marched back across the room and Harry was straight into Amanda’s ear. “What the fuck have you said we’ll go over for? I’ve not seen Jenny for months. Fuck me Amanda; you’ve put the cat amongst the pigeons now.”

  Amanda was watching him like a hawk. She wanted to see how he acted when he saw Jenny. If she could see one inclination that he was still in love with her, she was leaving him there and then. There was no way she was playing second fiddle to any other woman. Harry ordered their food and stood fidgeting. You could see small balls of sweat forming on his forehead. It was time to meet his demons. Harry walked over towards Jenny; Amanda was behind him like a lurking lioness. Licking his dry lips Harry took a deep breath as he sat down at a table facing Jenny and his daughter. Amanda sat down and flicked her hair over her shoulder. She took her coat off too and made sure Jenny could see what she was all about. Harry swallowed hard and made the first move.

  “Hello Jenny, how have you been?”

  Jenny answered him straight away, and she was definitely pleased to see him. She looked tired scruffy looking. “I’ve been okay Harry, just a bit stressed lately that’s all.”

  Morgan couldn’t wait to add her twopennorth as she placed her elbows on the table with her head resting inside them. “My mam’s split up from her boyfriend now Dad, he was horrible wasn’t he mam? Always shouting at her he was, threatening her, telling her he was leaving.”

  Jenny was crumbling; she kicked her daughter’s leg underneath the table. “Stop being so mouthy Morgan. He wasn’t horrible at all; he just wasn’t for me.”

  Harry shook his head and spoke without thinking first. “What, so you’re not seeing anyone anymore?”

  Jenny nodded, she was blushing, she was flirting with him. Amanda didn’t like the way this conversation was going and nudged Harry in his arm. “Are you going to introduce me then?”

  Harry let out a laboured breath and this was all too much for him to take in, he was sweating under the pressure. “Jenny, this is Amanda my girlfriend.” Amanda sat up tall and pushed her perky breasts out in front of her, she gave a smile and offered her hand over to Jenny. Jenny was hesitant, but she stretched over and shook the woman's hand anyway. For a single second the women locked eyes. Amanda knew at this moment she had a fight on her hands. Jenny wanted Harry back; she could see it in her. Amanda’s heart pounded inside her chest as she sipped her drink. Harry was uncomfortable and he was lost for words. It was a good job Jenny was leaving because Harry had clammed up, he didn’t know what to talk about. A quick wave over her shoulder and Jenny was gone. Morgan kissed her father on his cheek and completely ignored Amanda as if she wasn’t there.

  Silence reigned; Harry picked his food and took a large mouthful of it. Amanda tapped her fingers on the table, she was eager to talk. “Well, that was awkward. Fancy her splitting up with her fella. I bet she’s after getting back with you now?” she was testing the water.

  Harry finished his mouthful of food and wiped the corners of his mouth. “Is she fuck. Jenny wouldn’t have me
back in a million years.”

  “Would you go back then,” Amanda asked in a stroppy tone.

  Harry was under pressure, grabbing a quick swig from his drink his eyes dipped low. “No, no way. Not after meeting you. Jenny’s history, believe me.”

  Amanda could tell by his tone that he wasn’t being completely honest with her, he was hiding the truth. Their meal was ruined and they sat there with their minds working overtime. Harry scanned around the room, his eyes focused on the chair that Jenny had sat on. If the truth was known, if he’d have been on his own he would have sat with her and his daughter and tried to make amends.

  Amanda took a quick look at her wristwatch. “Come on then, let’s make a move we’re going to be late if we don’t leave now.” Her expression was sour and it was obvious she’d spat her dummy out. Harry pushed his plate out in front of him, his appetite was gone. As they left the restaurant not a word was spoken between them.

  *

  Marcy sat in the room with her notes at the side of her. Her new classes were going well and she’d taken on six more clients. The word was spreading fast that she could help to heal broken hearts and people were flocking from all over the country to see her. Grace came into the room, she was flustered. “Sorry I’m late, cock. I just couldn’t seem to move this morning. I’ve got no energy.” Marcy smiled and asked her to take a seat, she could tell she was itching to speak to her but she made her wait until all the other clients were there too. Amanda and Harry were the next to arrive and behind them followed Fred. Marcy made sure each of them had a drink first before she began the class.

  “Well, nice to see you all back here again and we are now coming to the final weeks of our course. I hope it’s helped you and you go on to live happier lives than you did before.”

  As if someone had flicked a switch at the back of Grace’s neck she stood up and poured her heart out. “Marcy, I’m nowhere near ready to leave this place. I need more time. Martin’s had a heart attack and now he’s going to make me sell our family home, just to spite me. My sons have turned against me too, so I need this class more than ever. You can’t just say it’s over.”

  Marcy asked her to sit back down. She could see she was distressed. “Harry, how do you feel about the classes coming to an end?”

  Harry shot a look at Amanda and he was edgy. She pressed him for an answer. “Well, I still need help. Jenny has split up from her boyfriend and I’ve just seen her earlier for the first time. Half of me wanted to comfort her and the other half wanted to see her fall flat on her face.”

  Amanda was fuming, her lips were quivering. How dare he humiliate her in front of everyone sat in the group? This was her time now to put the record straight. With a cunning look in her eyes she made her voice known. “Tell them about us too Harry. We’re together now everybody, so while he’s drooling over his ex-girlfriend, ask him how that makes me feel too?”

  Marcy was gobsmacked, she flicked the biro about in her fingers in a panic. Harry turned his head slowly and darted his eyes at Amanda. “I wasn’t drooling over her at all. I was shocked, how did you want me to act?”

  “Yeah whatever Harry,” Amanda chirped in. “It’s not rocket science to work out what you want. Given half the chance you would have run after Jenny and tried to sort things out. I’m just sorry I ruined it all for you.”

  Marcy was up on her feet, she didn’t trust Amanda and she knew she would have scratched his eyeballs out at any second. Amanda folded her arms, her boundaries were back up and this time nobody was getting through to her heart again, she would make sure of it. She’d been such a fool falling for his bullshit, she should have known better.

  Grace went first, the class was hanging on her every word as she told them every detail about her husband being in hospital. She even filled them in on her friend Winnie’s torments. Fred, who was usually very quiet, cleared his throat, he was a man of few words but when he got involved you knew somebody had rattled his cage. “Grace, sell the house. Don’t let him blackmail you with it. It’s all old memories in there anyway. Start afresh and make some new memories with Danny. From what you’ve told me about him, he sounds like a lovely man anyway.”

  Grace sat back in her seat. Marcy hushed the room quiet and asked Grace a question. “Why could you never go back with Martin, because at one stage you told us you were going to give it another go?”

  Grace folded her arms and raised her eyes to the ceiling. “Correct Marcy, I must have had a moment of madness. Seeing him there lay in that hospital bed made my heart break into a million pieces and I wanted him to get better. Once I got over the shock of it all, I started to think of what life would be starting over with him again,” she reached for the box of tissues at her side and dabbed it at the corner of her eyes. “I can’t get the picture out of my mind that he slept with another woman. Honest, it makes me feel sick. Why should I have to feel like that when he was the one who split us up? It’s mental torture and how any woman forgives her partner after they’ve cheated on them is beyond me. I could forgive, I suppose, but I could never forget.”

  Fred raised his hand above his head and looked at Marcy; she nodded at him to ask his question. “Grace, if that’s how you feel, don’t question yourself, just move on. Why be miserable with your husband when the relationship has clearly broken down?”

  Grace bit down onto her bottom lip and dipped her head low. “I’ll lose my sons, I’ll lose everything.”

  Amanda was fighting her own personal battle and chipped in. “How would Danny feel in all this anyway? No one’s giving him a second thought. You’re being selfish Grace, just because you’ve been hurt, don’t put someone else through the same thing.”

  Harry played with his knees, he couldn’t look at Amanda and he knew without asking she was having a pop at him. Marcy took control of the conversation. “This is going to be a hard decision Grace, maybe one you may regret for the rest of your life, but ask yourself this. Could you lie in bed with Martin every morning and still feel the way you felt about him? Could you ever have sex again with him? And more than anything could you ever trust him?” Grace was shaking her head from side to side as she continued. “Every time the phone rang and he was speaking to someone would you think he was cheating? If he had to work late, or go somewhere genuine would you ever trust him again?” Grace was sobbing and her questions were answered.

  Harry also found some advice in what Marcy had said to him. Until now he’d never thought about touching Jenny after another man had touched her, his face creased at the sides and he gritted his teeth tightly together. Turning his head he winked at Amanda. “Sorry,” he whispered. “You and me are an item now, I just got caught up in the moment. Can we talk about this later?” She never replied to him and sat chewing on the side of her nails. Marcy was reading over some notes and asking the class for any input. Fred was free with his words and he seemed the only one who was coping with his heartache. The class ended and Marcy was gutted that she didn’t have more time with them all. They all had traumas and they seemed to be taking two steps forward and two steps back. Giving them all the next appointment she watched them leave, well, all of them except Amanda. Harry was stood on the front porch waiting for her smoking with Grace. She’d told him she needed the toilet but she was lying through her teeth she wanted a quiet word with Marcy on her own.

  Marcy made sure the door was closed and sat by Amanda’s side, she rested her hand on her knee and looked deep into her eyes, she seemed troubled. “What is it, come on, a problem shared is a problem halved,” Marcy smiled trying to make light out of the matter.

  “I’ve let my guard down Marcy. Harry will go back to Jenny, I can see it in him already, he still loves her. I mean, if that’s what he wants to do, who am I to stand in his way?” she was fighting with her feelings and becoming desperate. “But I want him too Marcy. I’ve sort of fallen in love with him.”

  Marcy twiddled with her hair and sat thinking. She knew they were getting close, but in love, so soon. This
was a mess. “Tell him how you feel then. Don’t give him the easy way out. Fight for him.”

  Amanda inhaled deeply and stood to her feet. “No Marcy, if that’s what he wants then I’m going to let him go. I think I’m so mixed up myself; I’ve just got myself back into a dark hole. Harry doesn’t belong to me and I was a fool to ever believe that there’s a pot of gold at the end of any rainbow.” Before Marcy could reply Amanda had left the room. She watched her walking down the corridor towards the exit with speed. Marcy walked back into her room and ran to the window facing the main road she watched helplessly as her clients huddled together talking and smoking.

  *

  Harry was at his own home and he lay on the sofa watching the TV. Amanda had gone funny on him and she told him she was tired tonight, so he was spending the evening alone. Pressing the play button on the DVD player he settled down to watch a film his sister Kerry had given him. He was only about thirty minutes into it when he heard someone knocking on the front door. Peeping, out through the bay window he ducked back out of sight. Heart pounding in his body he held his hand to his chest. The knocking continued and this time he went to open the door. “Jenny, what do you want? I mean, come inside out of the cold.”

  Jenny stepped inside and as she walked past him he could smell strong alcohol on her breath. “I need to speak with you Harry, this has been playing on my mind all day and I need to tell you.”

  Harry paced the floor ragging his hands through his hair. He was distressed. “Is it the kids? Please don’t tell me that something has happened to one of them.”

  Jenny walked to his side and gently touched his cheek. “No, they’re fine. It’s me who needs help.”

  Harry was bewildered, he wobbled on his feet and had to sit down, his head wasn’t with it. Jenny came and sat next to him. “I want us to try again. Since seeing you I’ve not stopped thinking about the good old days and I want you back.”