What the hell was happening?
After so many months of painful separation, I expected my passion for her would have quieted. What a fool. One look at her beautiful silhouette was enough to make my blood boil with lust. The dominant instinct to grab her by the hair like a caveman and claim her clouded my mind.
I was out of control and I remembered well what had happened last time.
If I stayed, I risked acting like a deranged Neanderthal. I'd bring her down to her knees and fuck her whether she wanted it or not, force her to beg for more.
What the hell was Lina doing here? She couldn't have learned about the party unless...
Allie and her fucking games!
I gritted my teeth, turned my back on Lina and her lover, and paced back to Allie. She was chatting with another Domme. Her wicked smile was that of a player who had put all the figures on a chessboard exactly where she wanted them. I loved her but at that moment I wanted to strangle her. Why was she doing this to me?
Why did she have to fucking drag me back to square one when I was getting back on my feet?
She has no right.
My forehead was burning and I was ready to kill the first person who dared to look at me the wrong way. I went to Allie and grabbed her roughly by the elbow.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I tore the mask off my face and growled at her. Before the other Mistress had a chance to interfere, I dragged Allie away. She didn't protest or try to stop me. I didn't say a single word and moved fast among the crowd with the strangely obedient Allie. As soon as we got to the lounge, I let go of her. Anger distorted my perception but for a moment she seemed... nervous?
"Are you trying to drive me insane? Guess what. It's working." I kept my voice low. If I gave in to the anger, I'd end up yelling.
"What makes you think I have anything to do with it?" She didn't even blink when I brought my face close to hers and squeezed her shoulders.
"Cut the crap, Allie. How fucking stupid do you think I am? You're the only one who gives away invitations for this party. It's not announced on Fetlife. Even if someone made a post about the event there, Lina deleted her profile." I removed my hands from Allie before I left ugly bruises down her forearms. "The only way she could know is if you invited her so don't you dare bullshit me."
Allie chuckled and took a step back, unfazed by my anger. She must have been expecting it. Even if she was nervous, she quickly restored her cool.
"Yes, Thomas. I invited her."
"Why the hell did you do that? That's not what a friend would do. Hell, it's too shitty even for an enemy..."
I was betrayed and so angry I couldn't even find the words to convey the raging inferno of emotions.
"Thomas, please, try to calm down, and--"
"Calm down?" I hissed at her. "Did you know she brought someone with her? Did you know she was seeing someone? I sure could have used a warning for what I saw."
I nearly screamed the last part, which drew the bartender's attention. Allie turned around and nodded at the girl reassuringly.
"Yes, Thomas, she told me she was seeing someone and I asked her to bring him. You would never have shown up if I had told you. It was too good a chance to miss," Allie said without remorse.
"Chance for what?" I was sick to my stomach and my knees were getting wobbly. I dragged my feet to the counter. It was so tempting to order a drink but that would make it all worse. "Chance to mess with my mind? Allie, you're playing with fire."
She sighed and walked to me with a calm expression and touched my shoulder. I flinched away.
"Calm down and listen."
"I know you mean well but that's none of your business. How come you don't get it?" I buried my head in my palms. "You know how I feel about Lina. I haven't seen her in months and the sight of her makes me lose it, especially with her boyfriend here. In case you didn't notice, we're in the middle of a fucking orgy." I looked up from my shaking hands, amazed at how calm she was. "Seriously, what were you thinking? That you'd play freaking matchmaker?"
"That was the last thing on my mind," she said in a firm voice and sat down on a stool next to me. Her expression was softer now, almost motherly, but that pissed me off more. "Thomas, I know this is rough and you feel I have set you up. All right, I did set you up. This is what you need. What both you and Lina need."
That made as much sense as putting my hands in burning oil to warm them up.
"I can't go back, Allie. I'll do something horrible. I must accept it if she has found a new life and happiness with that guy." The thought of going back to my dark and empty house sent a chill down my spine. It would be a long night of pacing back and forth while I made mental trips to the club and imagined Lina with that guy... or punishing her in public. The temptation to go to the 24/7 store for one or two whiskey bottles would slowly catch me in its trap.
It would be better than acting upon my dangerous instincts.
"I won't be your puppet," I said, trying to sound cold and detached. "I'm leaving." The next step out of The Fortress was even harder than when I walked in but I had to do it.
"Thomas, you're right to be angry. You must ask yourself why, though." Her siren voice stopped me dead in my tracks. "Is it really because I didn't warn you Lina would be here, or is it because she's not alone?"
I still had my fists clenched when I turned to her.
"I can't believe it..." My shame at speaking those words was as tough to swallow as the wrath and betrayal. I looked at the ground again and sighed. "I was in agony over her. That was the worst year of my life. I just can't believe she moved on. What if our relationship was no more than a pleasant diversion for her."
Allie didn't say anything.
"The thought that our relationship never meant that much to her... it's killing me. It's horrible but I expected her to be as broken and hurt as me. That's a totally fucked up thing to wish for someone you love." Her tender fingers stroked my chin and rubbed the tears that ran down my cheeks.
Oh, just fucking fantastic. Now I'm crying in public.
"That's the reason you must stay." It was Mistress Sheila speaking in that moment. Her grasp on my chin grew harder.
"Please, do explain, Mistress mine." I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Do you remember what happened last time? How did everything get fucked up? What led you both to that night in the dungeon?"
I blinked in confusion and rubbed the tears off my face.
"You know perfectly well. You were there," I uttered.
"Answer the question, Thomas." She let go of me but kept her dark eyes on my face.
"I... I saw her kissing a man and got angry. Then she..."
"You got mad and let your feelings cloud your judgment. You gave control to your anger, your insecurities and self-esteem issues. Exactly like you are about to do now."
"Yes, that's why I have to leave." I put a palm on my hot forehead.
"That's why you have to stay." Allie raised her hand to cut off my protest. "You have a second chance to enter the exact same situation. This time, you know the consequences and you will handle and resolve it in a mature way. Like a grown-up man and not a petulant teenage boy."
I couldn't think of anything to say in response.
"I met her. Trust me, she's not a woman who has moved on." Allie took a hesitant pause and continued with greater confidence. "Neither of you will go on before you get closure. I want it to happen here, with all these security measures and where I can watch over both of you. Maybe you'll stop seeing yourself as Seth's younger self. This is your chance, Thomas."
Her words made sense on a very irrational level.
I reached out for her hand and placed it on my forehead. Her cold fingers felt good.
"Allie, I'm scared. Fuck it, I'm terrified. What if I haven't learned my lesson? What if I harm her again? I can't forgive myself if..."
"No one said it would be easy." She squeezed my shoulders with a reassuring smile. "I'm sorry I have to put you through this. Y
ou'll be fine. Calm down, breathe and try to see things how they are, not how your anger makes them look. It would be worse if you left now and missed the chance to make it all better."
Damn Allie and her silver tongue. She could make a man walk off a cliff with a blindfold on and reassure him it was for his own good.
"You'll have to put me in a straightjacket." I laughed. "Right now, I want to punch that asshole in the jaw and fuck Lina's brains out."
"That might be fun but I'm here to make sure you don't do that." She smirked at me and wrapped her slender arm around my waist. "Come here. The main stage act is about to start. We'll watch it together and then we'll go to Lina and her new man."
"Why don't we just do it now and get it over with?" I groaned and let her walk me back to the heart of the club.
"You need to get your shit together and that will help you calm down. You will see. Just trust me." She pinched my elbow hard through the suit sleeve and earned herself a glare. "Remember, watch the details. Don't let her masks fool you. You're better than that."
Was I?
When Nate and I left for Allie's birthday party I thought I was prepared. I was the one with more experience in the crazy world we were about to submerge ourselves in. He was terrified no matter how brave he tried to look.
So was I.
This night could be make or break for our fragile relationship. At least I had an idea what we could expect out of a kink club like The Fortress.
It turned out I didn't have a clue. Here I was, in the middle of a huge dance floor turned party play area, among multiple couples, triples and kink partners of all genders and colors, in every combination. I realized how little I really knew the moment the orgy revealed itself before our shocked eyes. That place, that hedonistic feast of sin and pain, dominance and submission was more than either of us was prepared for. It was unlike anything Thomas and I had ever done.
This was not the quiet, intimate darkness and flicker of candlelight in a private dungeon. When he was stripping me of my defenses, the rest of the world faded away and ceased to exist for a few blissful hours.
That night, the world was exploding around me, a fiery carnival that offered everyone their favorite poison. There was little space for intimacy among the crowd of lust filled creatures. These wild and insatiable beasts had long since crossed the borders of socially acceptable and explored beyond their limits. Shame was not a welcome guest in the strange universe of pony girls and boys, leather Daddies, latex clad dominatrices and suit-wearing Masters, Doms, subs, sadists, and masochists. Subtlety was drowned in the music and open display of flesh, scent of sex, mixed body fluids and celebration of their nighttime persona. The ambiance overwhelmed my senses and I looked around helplessly.
I'd felt safe during my most intense scenes with Thomas, even when he pushed me and brought my slutty side up to the surface. In The Fortress, I had no idea what to do with myself, or the man next to me. The shameless exhibitionism made me feel raw and vulnerable, a doe in a den of wolves.
It would be so easy to turn around and leave that insane kingdom behind. No one would even suspect we had been there. We could slip away into the night like ghosts.
Yet, my feet remained glued to the ground. The parade of dark and forbidden pleasure and the twisted theater on the different stages affected my body more than I was willing to admit.
The Fortress was intimidating with its demand for my soul. It would accept nothing but total submission to its stone walls and lack of inhibitions. The sight of girls, men and women down on their knees, collared, naked and branded, proud in their willing surrender, set my body aflame. The heat creeping up my skin had nothing to do with embarrassment or discomfort. The longer I watched the sex, whipping and acts of servitude, the wetter my panties were getting.
For a moment, I wished I was there with Thomas. He'd know what to do, how to behave. His presence would put a stop to all my fears. I'd revel in the club scene and not feel as if I'd been thrown into a pit of fire. His dominance would calm me down and keep me centered even in the most depraved situations.
Nate, on the other hand, was just as overwhelmed as me. He looked at me as if someone had just hit him in the face.
"I knew about places like these." He was looking around with eyes as wide as saucers. "But I never thought I'd come."
We were holding hands while we walked to the main stage, two children lost in the deep dark forest rather than brave lovers who ventured into the unknown. When I looked at his confused face, red skin and wide eyes I realized coming here had been a huge mistake. I'd allowed Allie to lure me in, and fool me into thinking this could be a learning experience.
It was so easy to put the blame on Allie.
The Fortress and this party were not a place for beginners, for the reluctant and confused. It was a playground for the confident. Nate and I were still struggling to define ourselves and where our relationship was going. The wild orgy of whips, and chains would not help us get closer to the truth.
He went to get us the only drink we were allowed for the night. I adjusted the creamy mask on my face and looked around. Maybe if I spent enough time looking at the sex around me, I'd get over my discomfort. The bouncer at the door had reassured me no one would try to make any unwanted advances as long as we kept our signature masks on. Nobody had bothered me so far but that didn't make me feel better, especially without Nate around.
I looked at a pretty girl with long hair, down on her knees. She was licking and servicing the cock of a tall, muscular man in leather pants. He stroked her cheek and let her do her magic instead of ravaging her face. It was entrancing to watch and once again I wished I were there with someone less reluctant than Nate. When I raised my head for a moment, I was sure I caught a familiar face. It was a short moment, a flash, and the figure disappeared into the crowd.
Was that really him or had the thought that I might run into Thomas made me lose common sense? It was like Katie's wedding all over again.
Nate came back with a glass of champagne for me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"I think I'll pass on the alcohol, just watching this makes me feel drunk." He whispered in my ear.
It was difficult to admit but I had set him up to fail and thrown him into the deep end of the pool, forced him to run when he couldn't walk.
I turned around to kiss him and whispered, "If you want, we can just watch the main stage act and then get out of here."
Nate smiled insecurely but his voice boomed with bravado.
"There's no need to worry about me, Lina. It'd be rude not to at least say hi to your friend, wouldn't it?" He reached out to touch my cheek, an act so similar to that of the Dom I'd been watching earlier and yet so different.
All of a sudden, the music died down to a soft background noise, much to my relief. Perhaps it was time for the big performance to begin. I leaned against Nate's chest and kissed him again, in need of some reassurance we were on the same wavelength.
"Excuse me, Ma'am." A sultry female voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Nate and I turned to the speaker and found ourselves face to face with two young women in black masks. One of them was a busty blonde with long legs in spiked boots. Her bright red lipstick matched her vinyl dress. Her companion was a skinny redhead with dyed hair and enormous green eyes. She was dressed in the exact same outfit, only in black instead of red. The two ladies walked together at the same time as if on a catwalk. They both held a riding crop in their signature color.
They reminded me of a pair of hungry lionesses who had caught themselves some easy prey. I wasn't sure I liked the predatory gleam in their eyes.
"Do you need any help training that pet of yours?" The redhead was really petite but she seemed at least six feet tall in that moment. She walked to us with a confident step and rested the rectangular end of the crop against Nate's cheek. He was too shocked to push her away. I was too confused to form a coherent reply.
"We are two of the best trainers in here and we know how to brin
g a disobedient sub to his knees." The blonde flashed her perfect pearly whites and crossed arms under her impressive bust. She was looking both Nate and me up and down as if we were being auctioned. "Let me tell you what, lady, you didn't do a good job taming the big guy here."
"Yes, I mean, just look at him. That's not the behavior of a well-trained slave." The redhead slapped his cheek with the edge of the crop and withdrew it. Nate sucked in a breath and stared at me helplessly. I was still struggling to find my voice. For fuck's sake! I'd have had no trouble putting these bitches in their place outside of this mad place's walls. Why was I so tongue-tied?
"Unbelievable," The blonde spat with disgust. Both she and her friend tutted. "He behaves as if he's our equal when he should be kneeling and kissing our shoes."
"Really, lady? You didn't even bring his leash. You let him walk around like he's free meat?" The redhead arched her brow at me and shook her head. "You need a crash course in how to be more effective with him."
Finally, I unglued the words stuck at the back of my throat. When I spoke, I wanted to kick myself for my pathetic, whimpering voice.
"No, no, you misunderstood..."
"Oh, did we?" Blondie cut the distance between us and stared at me until I looked down in shame for no crime. What the fuck is going on with me? "Perhaps you're his bitch?" I gasped and squirmed in my place when she smacked my ass with the crop. It was unexpected and stung more than my flesh. "Then why aren't you addressing your superiors with the proper respect, slut? You should be kneeling for us. Kiss it now." She put the crop to my lips and stared at me with expectation.
Nate wrapped his arm tighter around my waist. He must have gotten over the shock as he opened his mouth to protest. That was when another female voice interrupted the awkward scene.
"Maybe you two should be stripped naked and tied to the poles for public service after I tan your asses. Cut it out right now."
The moment the two Dommes heard the newcomer's voice, they turned around with strangely apologetic, sheepish expressions. Nate and I raised our eyes to the woman with long black hair, green eyes and a firm expression.
Unorthodox Chemistry Page 11