When I woke up I was broken inside and out, convinced I was dead.
Yet, I survived and that made me stronger. Or so I liked to tell myself.
Those extreme sensations had resurfaced, stronger than ever, that night at the club. I wasn't sure if they would break me.
Our time apart had been painful but always somehow... nebulous. There were moments I wasn't sure I even remembered her face. That might have been the alcohol, though.
Her presence was even worse than her absence. I was close to the woman I loved but I couldn't touch her. My flesh was on fire and yet the clammy sweat was dripping down my back. The red fever was rising. If I didn't take control, it would lead us to another tragedy.
I could have used the darkness during the stage performance to slip away. One thing stopped me. Allie was right. It would drive me further in the land of madness.
It couldn't have been a fun evening for Lina either. I felt her fear and her confusion. I read the desire in her eyes but what was I supposed to make of it? Did she want me? Had the sight of the orgy, that parade of kink, woken up her inner submissive?
It was a good thing that I hadn't assaulted her new boyfriend or acted like a deranged madman. Still, watching his arm around her waist was too much. What was worse, Lina was so comfortable with his embrace.
Why would that be worse? Wasn't I supposed to want her happiness? Wasn't that why I'd walked away?
The sight of her tears while she was watching the scene had eased my rage for a moment. Her vulnerable, naked state, the lack of masks, the agony etched on her features touched me. I tasted her genuine emotion and need when I caressed her and looked into her eyes. The fever was fading. The words were on the tip of my tongue when Lina pressed her cheek to my palm. That old connection was coming to the surface.
Her new man's voice brought me back to my senses and back into the clutches of the fever.
It wasn't so easy to get the girl and run away with her.
That Nate guy...
Why couldn't he be a cruel abuser who had taken advantage of Lina's fragile state of mind? He was way too decent and understanding about that fucked up situation. I could even like him in other circumstances, but right then he had taken what I felt was rightfully mine.
The key felt heavy and clammy in my hand. My throat was swollen. Every bit of me was weighed down like lead. What was I supposed to do when I was alone with Lina?
We walked down the hall to one of the additional private rooms. She kept her head down as was expected of a submissive. Neither Allie nor I had given her any instructions. Was she too ashamed to look me in the eyes?
I unlocked the door, let her step in first and took my sweet time to admire the way the dress hugged her curvy shape.
The moment I turned the key in the lock, I grabbed her by the wrist and pinned her against the door. Just like I had that fateful September night a lifetime ago.
My lips crushed hers and I squeezed her neck lightly. Lina moaned and opened her mouth so I could slide my tongue deep inside her. Her body tensed under my vicious attack but she pressed herself against my hard erection.
I had forgotten how good she tasted. The fever burnt hotter in my veins when I felt the rough lust in her response to my kiss. She wrapped her arms around my neck and sank her nails into it. Our heated bodies clashed together in a possessive embrace.
Her nipples poked against my chest, hard and ready to be tortured. If I slipped a hand under her dress, I'd find her sopping wet. It'd take me just a few finger strokes inside her while I squeezed her neck to make her cum. She shivered when I grasped her tighter. Her posture went rigid but she didn't pull away from me. The pain from her fine, red manicure got sharper and ripped the cloud of toxic lust in my brain.
I wanted to crush and break her. I wanted to feel her pain and make her cry for me. Beg me to hurt her again and again. I longed to mark her skin with my teeth--the brand of my ownership. The cruel kiss of my palm that connected with her bruised flesh.
Mine.
Every cell of her body.
Lina was mine and she'd better remember it.
Her groans echoed in my mouth. I kept up the light squeeze around her delicate throat and furiously rubbed my tongue against hers. Lina moved in an attempt to push me away.
None of it tonight, pet. You're not going anywhere. You've been gone for too long.
Kissing her got me drunk like no other alcoholic beverage. I leaned further and simply kept kissing and biting her. My palms slid from her neck down to her breasts.
Her taste weakened my defenses. I never saw it coming when Lina sank her teeth into my tongue so hard I yelled out at the sudden pain. She used that moment to her advantage and slapped me across the cheek. I pulled away from her abruptly and raised a hand to my mouth in shock. Lina was glaring at me, blue flames burning in her eyes. She clenched her jaw and balled her elegant fingers into fists.
The metallic taste of blood and the soreness of her bite brought me back to my senses.
I wiped the blood from my mouth and noticed I had done damage, too. Her lips were bruised and battered from our rough kiss, with ruined lipstick and small tears all over them. She looked so fucking hot like that.
"Oh, the tigress still has claws," I drawled and stared into her eyes. My calm, mocking timbre made her even more furious and she slapped me again. I ignored the stinging pain and slid my palms down her curves, all the way to her thighs.
"Fuck you," she hissed and slammed her fists against my chest while I rolled her dress up. Lina tried to push me away with all her energy but my grasp of her hips was just as strong. "Get the fuck away from me."
"Aw, but do you really want me to let you go?" I grinned at her and used my upper body to corner her against the wall. "Have you been missing me, pet? You grew even wilder while I was gone."
Lina moaned when I fondled the insides of her thighs. Her rage softened when I pressed my lips to one tender spot on her neck. That pleasure point always made her weak at the knees. She groaned when I drew circles around it with my tongue and nibbled it. My teeth left a small violet signature.
"I love it when you fight me, Lina, when you struggle and try to get away." My lips hovered close to hers while I cupped her breasts. It thrilled me to see her reactions--that fleeting doubt in her eyes, that tortured look. "We know this is the one battle you don't want to win. You want me to take you, even against your will, don't you?"
She narrowed her eyes and punched my shoulder. That nearly knocked me off balance. I'd have to cuff her. It'd be a bad way to rekindle my calling as a Dom if a submissive knocked me on my ass.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" Lina tried to speak quietly but then gave up and yelled. "What the hell do you want from me? You can't waltz back into my life and expect me to crawl at your feet like an obedient dog!"
The whip of Lina's anger made my cock throb even harder against her thigh. Still, her words only tossed more gasoline onto my personal fire.
"Is that the reason you brought him along? To show you'd moved on, to rub my face in it?"
Careful, Thomas. Don't repeat the same mistake twice. I ignored that voice and grabbed her chin so she wouldn't have a chance to look away.
"How long has this been going on, huh? Were you seeing him behind my back? Were you in touch with him while you were with me?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Lina groaned. Fear flooded her eyes. She yanked a lock of my hair. That didn't make me soften my grip. I traced her thigh with my fingers all the way up to the panty line. The sight of the silk fabric that coated her soaked pussy lips made me chuckle with dark amusement.
"Mine, mine..." It always baffled my mind how easy to arouse she was. Her clit quivered under the thin lingerie. With each passing minute, her folds were getting wetter and exuded that addictive, spicy scent. "What a naughty girl. Did you think you could come here with panties on? Did you believe that would save you, little one? You fooled yourself that a flimsy piece like this would protect you?"
She squirmed and tried to close her legs. That earned her a slap to her inner thigh. I shoved my fingers in her soaked panties and found the pulsing, hardened nub. Her cunt was as soft, wet and heavenly as I remembered. I wanted to bury my face between her thighs and make her scream. I'd eat her out until I broke her defiance.
Lina frowned in discomfort when my nail sank into her sensitive skin and I rubbed her clit with rough, forceful movements. She arched her back and raised her voluptuous breasts, and I reached out to pinch them. The harder I ground my thumb against her sweet spot, the wetter she got. Her emotions were a feast for my hungry mind and soul. I leaned forward to take as much as possible.
"Bad girl, Lina. You must have known you wouldn't keep your panties on when you came to a BDSM club."
My thumb plunged into her tight slit. It was so familiar, tight and ready. Like those months of separation had never happened. I pressed my face to hers and whispered, "You should have known someone would rip them off you, naughty girl. Maybe even put your sopping dirty panties in your mouth and gag you with them. I bet you'd love that, wouldn't you?"
"You wish! I won't play your sick game," she cried in despair. I kept toying with her clit and twisting her nipples through the dress.
Oh fuck, I missed that--that dark, twisted sense of control over her helpless, angry mind.
"Oh but you're already playing, Lina." I taunted her and bit her bottom lip again. Her whimper made me laugh. "You've been playing the game ever since you accepted Allie's invitation. You could have said no."
"I didn't know you'd be here." Her protest was weak and she spoke the words so softly I could hardly catch them. Lina moved her hips with a tortured expression.
"Bullshit." I chuckled and entered a second finger into her wet snatch. I pushed it inside to the second knuckle. "Let's pretend I believe you. You could have left with What's His Name five minutes ago. You chose to stay. Own your choice, Lina. Don't act like someone forced your hand here."
She was out of angry comebacks. She looked away while I fingered her and played with her nipples. My actions were getting her more flustered by the minute. Her eyes were wide open with vivid fear. This time, though, I was sure she wasn't afraid of me.
"How comes your new man let you leave the house with panties on?"
When I tried to pull my fingers out of her, she instinctively closed her thighs together, as if to stop me from leaving. Lina was throwing daggers with her eyes but her despair was tangible.
"What Nate and I are doing is none of your business, Thomas." Still, her voice vibrated with anger. "You have some nerve trying to guilt trip--"
A rush of heat went through me, and I bit her bottom lip until I tasted her blood. She screamed in pain and moved her hips against me, another small betrayal of her sensitive body. I cupped her breasts and squeezed them. My nails sank deeper into the fabric of her dress. They were bound to leave red marks.
"Oh, Lina, that's where you're wrong. It's entirely my business what someone's doing to my sub," I whispered to her.
She clenched her jaw and slapped my face one more time.
"Fuck you, Thomas," she cursed, nearly foaming at the mouth, and pushed me away with a vicious claw of her nails. Good thing I wasn't wearing glasses tonight. She'd have smashed them on the floor. When we played, I compared her to a tiger but at that moment, she aimed for my eyes in an attempt to scratch them out.
I grabbed her by the wrists and raised them over her head.
"You look so hot when you're angry, Lina. Careful with the claws, tigress. I don't think you can handle the backfire."
"Try me, you asshole!" She squeezed her thighs. I felt the tingling of her skin in my grasp, how intense her pulse was and how she struggled with lust and painful anger. "You have no right to blame me. We aren't together anymore, remember? You left me."
Her words echoed like a sob in the dungeon. My heart shrunk with guilt.
"I never left you." My voice came out weak and unconvincing. "Didn't you hear any of what I said last time? I gave you time to come back to your senses."
My grip around her wrists weakened for a moment, along with my confidence. Walking away from her was the most difficult choice I'd ever made and she still didn't get why I had to do it.
"You can't just show up. I'm finally trying to move on and rebuild my life." The tears in her voice were killing me. We were so close. I could touch her skin, keep her under me, but each word we spoke made us drift further apart.
"Someone suffers from memory loss." I spun her around and gathered her thin, shaking wrists behind her back. Lina squirmed and made a weak attempt at releasing herself. Her sudden force faded while she was too busy trying to hold back. I could tell she was one step away from bursting into tears.
I pressed her cheek against the hard, metal door and whispered in her ear, "Remember, Lina, you're the one who came here tonight. You were the last person I expected to see here." My lips brushed against her sensitive earlobe. She shuddered at the contact. Her eyelids fluttered and she shut them tight. "You must've known I wouldn't miss Allie's birthday. Don't play innocent... I know exactly what you're doing."
"The world doesn't revolve around you," she hissed and tried to hide her face.
"Open your eyes and look at me," I said softly and ran my free hand down her spine. I traced its curve with my fingertips, found her weak spot, right below the base of her neck, and caressed it with my lips. When she stood still and closed her eyes, I raised a palm and landed it on her ass. It wasn't the strongest smack she'd ever received from me. The dress protected her bottom so my palm probably didn't even leave a mark.
Still, she snapped her eyes open and turned to me. She had her ferocious mask back on, without a trace of vulnerability.
"What do you want from me?" The hard notes in her voice shot at me like bullets.
"Me?" I chuckled and took her by the wrists. "I'm the one who should ask that question because I suspect you don't have the slightest clue what you want, Miss Riley."
"Let me go." Weakness crept back into her tone. "I can't think when you pin me down."
"Maybe it'll do you good not to think. Maybe then you'll be sincere."
"How dare you?" She shook her head in disbelief. "You dumped me the moment I got inconvenient for you and things got hard. You had the nerve to try to fool me into thinking you were doing it for my own good." She blinked some traitorous tears away. "At least you could have told me you were tired, that I was a burden to you. It would've hurt but it would've been the truth."
The wicked fever clawed its jaws into me. I yanked her hair back so hard she yelled in pain. When our eyes locked, she was shaking with fear and that made me loosen my grip.
No matter what happens, don't repeat your mistakes.
"I've really had enough of your paranoia and doubts, Lina. Don't put words in my mouth I never said. Don't project your fucking trust issues onto me, get it?" I hissed. "You have no idea what I went through after I left. I told you it was never because of something you did. So, stop it already!"
She shuddered and I read some guilt on her face.
"It doesn't matter what you said." She spoke softly. "You were relieved to be free of me. You'd never tell me that. You'd feel awful if I killed myself because you told me I wasn't worthy of your time and love." She narrowed her eyes and asked me in a biting voice, "Is that what you thought, Thomas? That I was so frail I'd kill myself?"
Her insane rambling made me widen my eyes. What the hell? No, I couldn't stand that shit anymore. She was going too far in her sick illusions and self-loathing.
"Here we go again. You'd rather trust the voices in your head and feed them rather than listen to me for once."
The fury was pushing me. It hissed in my ear to punish her, to make her regret her words.
"I won't answer to that nonsense anymore. Why are you here if you think I'm such an asshole? Why aren't you rebuilding your future? Why are you crawling back to the past?"
No witty comeb
ack or accusations. Lina quit fighting but her shoulders remained tense. She turned her eyes to the wall and whispered, "I don't know. It was a mistake to come here."
I let go of her wrists and moved away from her. She looked around in confusion once her hands were free but didn't change position. A thrill of pride went through me as I noticed that.
Her quiet sob was breaking my heart and made me want to comfort her. Not yet. Instead, I looked around the room to make sense of the surroundings. It was a standard fortress dungeon with dark stones. Fluorescent bulbs were fixed over black glass panels attached to the ceiling. Different tools were hanging on the wall--light, fluffy feathers for the shy ones, and the lovers of light and sensual play. They contrasted with the rattan canes and heavy, thick bullwhips with thin and sharp tails. Apart from the equipment on the wall there was a table with small gear such as handcuffs and cruel nipple clamps masked as jewels. Allie had even left a brand new, still wrapped magic wand and vibrator. There was a little folded white piece of paper attached to one of the boxes.
Use them wisely.
Love,
A.
Was I supposed to kiss or kill my best friend once this was over?
The rest of the equipment, a spanking bench and a sturdy St. Andrew's cross, fitted us, our limits and all the pain she'd receive. If this was my last time with Lina, I wanted us both to remember it.
I caressed the tip of one riding crop. The thought of the stripes it would leave on her skin made my fever intensify.
"You know what?"
She raised her eyebrow and squeezed her palms together.
"You're too insubordinate for a woman who once wanted to be a slave. Allie was right. You need me to remind you of your place and to teach you protocol. You forgot everything I ever taught you. Shame on me."
At first, my mind and heart were set on the thin riding crop. It was one of my favorite tools whenever I disciplined a disobedient sub. On second glance, though, I noticed a beautifully crafted wooden paddle with a long handle and an oval-shaped end. It wasn't as intricate and customized as the one I gave Allie but it was solid and steady, and would leave beautiful bruises along Lina's marble, perfect skin.
Unorthodox Chemistry Page 15