He didn't say a word in response but the tension in his face softened.
"I want to face those fears and maybe get a chance at happiness. I want to take a risk even if I'm terrified. None of it will work if you're not being honest with me."
Thomas turned briefly to me with a shocked and angry expression before he moved his eyes back to the road.
"How am I not being honest with you?" He shook his head in disbelief.
"You think I expect you to bottle up your anger." I clasped my hands together in my lap and looked out of the window. "You think I want you to pretend everything's fine, to play a part. That's why you feel so pressured by a simple weekend."
"It's not just anger, Lina," he said in a much softer voice. I was still staring at the clouds outside. Raindrops rolled down the window and he activated the windshield wipers. "I have all sorts of feelings inside me and I'm afraid that I'll explode, that it'll end up like last time, that..."
He rubbed his forehead and quickly dropped his hand down.
"Listen, I have to stop at the next gas station to refuel. Let's sit down, have some coffee and talk about it? It's early and the whole day is ahead of us."
"Of course." I nodded and reached out to stroke his wrist tenderly. "I'm sorry if I'm pushing the matter but it's just..."
"Relax." He smiled. His skin tingled under my light touch. The thin hairs on his hand rose when I kept caressing him with feather-like movements. "You make some great points but let me disagree on one thing. You're anything but weak."
"I wish that was so." I sighed and pulled away from his warm wrist. "Sometimes I fear I've never been strong at all."
Thomas didn't say anything in response. He squeezed the wheel tighter and gave me another hesitant smile.
The rest of the trip to the gas station passed in silence but it was a lot less anxiety-ridden.
Who knew? Maybe it wouldn't be the last trip we'd share.
At that point it was better not to give in to my hopes.
Ten minutes later, Thomas brought two coffee cups to the table where I was sitting. To my relief, we were the only clients in the quiet café. He smiled and took my hand while I took a sip of coffee.
"I'm sorry, Lina," he said and slid his fingertips across mine. "I didn't mean to ignore you or make you feel like I was punishing you. Come to think of it, we should've met for a talk like this a lot sooner."
I nodded, crossed my legs and brushed his knee with the tip of my boot. Thomas reached out and kept it in place, running his fingers along the leather.
"Yes, I admit it wasn't pleasant to wonder if you'd call me at all."
Thomas squeezed his fingers around my ankle and casually placed it on top of his knee. He was studying my face with an intense expression.
"I know I should've told you but what is done is done. I know I should be the strong one and the dominant but..." Thomas shrugged and closed his eyes. "The fear I might take another wrong step drives me insane. Everyone I know is telling me that a Dom should always be in control of their emotions and not act upon anger."
He exhaled, let go of my ankle and placed my foot back on the ground.
"What should I do when my own emotions are too strong to handle? When I have all these ugly thoughts and petty feelings, when I can hardly stand them? How can I be your Dom and give you what you crave when I can hardly control myself?"
"There's a huge difference between controlling your emotions and not having any at all." I took his hands in mine and leaned forward to plant a small kiss on his lips. He was surprised but didn't try to pull away. "I'm hardly an innocent angel myself. You can share those ugly thoughts with me."
"What if you don't like them? What if they're too ugly and overwhelming for you?" He pressed his forehead against mine and pulled me closer. "Will you still love me? What if you end up hating me?"
"I can't say unless you tell me what's bothering you, Thomas." I sighed and kissed him again. "Whatever it is, it can't be that bad."
"What if I say I've been blaming you this whole time?" He lifted my chin. "It was ugly of me but the emotion was still there, like a cancer cell. I... I wished you had believed me back then when I was trying to tell you I was innocent. If you had trusted me more, maybe none of this would've happened."
A chill ran down my spine when he said that. I looked down but urged him with a weakened voice.
"Go on. Tell me everything. Is that why you left? As a punishment for my lack of faith?"
Thomas shook his head. He still held my hand in a light grasp.
"No, that would've been too cruel. I was honest about my reasons for leaving. It's not fair to put the blame entirely on you when I already crossed the line. You had reasons not to trust me. It all happened so fast."
"I had the same feelings about myself. I wish I hadn't jumped straight to the conclusion that you were just another man who had betrayed me." I sighed, not sure what to do with my hands. "I was mad at you for not protecting our secret. You said it yourself. I've been telling myself you left me because I was inconvenient. In the end, I believed that and was really close to hating you."
He let go of my hands and started rubbing his temples.
"What if all those fucked up, toxic feelings overflow and transcend our scenes? Lina, I don't need to remind you we're moving along a dangerous edge. Each time we indulge in dark fantasies there's a risk and that's where the thrill is. What if I fail to bring us back to reality in one piece?"
"Maybe that's exactly what we need to do. Take a risk." I was trembling. Even the warm, cozy cafe and his tender fingers around mine didn't make the sudden chill go away. "Face those feelings and deal with them."
"Now..." He made a poor attempt at a smile and finished his coffee in one gulp. "I hope you understand better why I took my time before I called you back. I'm sorry."
Thomas ran his fingers down my neck and leaned forward to whisper against my lips. Warmth and passion were slowly making their way into his eyes.
"I'm thrilled to be here with you, that you still want to try after all you've been through." He ran a palm across my cheek, kissed me again and slid his tongue deep into my mouth. I grabbed his wrist and leaned into the kiss. Thomas sank his teeth into my bottom lip and that mild pain turned the pleasant warmth into a slow burning heat.
He cupped the back of my head and gently tugged my braided hair. I had decided to tie it in a neat French braid earlier that morning when I saw how windy it was.
When Thomas pulled away, his eyes were gleaming with lust. He smiled, wrapped his fingers harder around the braid and pulled it harder. His hand went around my throat for a brief second.
"I really love what you did with your hair, Lina," he said in a rough whisper. "I might even order you not to untie it for the entire weekend. It makes it so much easier to reign you in." His thumb ran along the outline of my jaw. "Is it just coincidence or did you wear it like that on purpose."
"Maybe." I ran my nails along his wrist and pressed my thighs together. His low, husky voice was getting me in the mood to be bold. "Maybe I was just being pragmatic or I was trying to provoke your... creativity."
I reached out under the table, took his hand and slid it under my dress, over the thick tights. Thomas' eyes widened and he looked around before he pressed his thumb between my legs. When he stopped at the base of the triangle, right over my pussy lips, he narrowed his eyes and whispered in a mildly threatening voice, "The ladies' bathroom. Five minutes. You'd better be ready."
My heart was beating with excitement when I got up from the uncomfortable plastic chair and walked to the back of the cafe. The lilt of my hips was very subtle under the wide, woolen skirt. I passed by the counter on my way to the ladies room. The faces of the two clerks behind it, lost in their conversations and plans on the drab winter day, made the thrill greater. If only they knew what was about to happen.
Maybe it was nothing new to them and many couples had tried the bathrooms, riled up and horny after hours of driving.
; What if those walls were hiding a lot of secrets? Dirty secrets covered in seed, stained in lipstick, with invisible marks on the surface.
Unlikely. The bathroom looked clean, with white and blue tiles, lemon fragrance and metal rails along the walls. I smiled to myself in the mirror and raised my dress slowly. Excitement was rushing through my system. The glass surface showed a different Lina, the kind of woman I'd been out of touch with for a long time.
Thomas didn't wait for the five minute mark to pass before he walked into the room and locked the door. He grabbed me by the hair without a word and dug his teeth into my neck until I cried out.
"Quiet." Thomas bit my earlobe and pushed a finger into my mouth. His grasp grew rougher when I nibbled his skin and drew circles around it with my tongue. His hard cock was pressing against my exposed rear, protected only by his jeans and a thick layer of tights.
"You wouldn't want everyone in here to find out what a horny slut you are, would you?" Oh fuck. I'd missed that mischievous hot whisper, the depth of his voice as he was muttering dirty promises. "You wouldn't want them to learn you need to be fucked within an inch of your life. Is that what you want, pet?"
Thomas lowered me down against the sink. He pressed his palm against the small of my waist.
"Hands on the sink. Eyes in the mirror. I want you to watch me the whole time I screw your pussy raw."
How was I supposed to stay quiet when he was talking to me like that? I obeyed with shaking hands and fixed my gaze on the shiny reflection. It was an intoxicating sight. Eyes gleaming with lust, lips open for claiming, Thomas tearing my tights to expose me.
"So naughty..." He spat on his fingers and jabbed them into my pussy in one hard shove. I bit my lips hard to keep myself from screaming. His thumb quickly found my clit, rubbed it hard and he kept massaging my walls with his fingers. The thick fluids of arousal were staining his hand but that didn't discourage him from pushing a third finger inside me. My braid was still in his grasp and he tugged it hard so I wouldn't look down.
"Look how wet and slutty you are, not even wearing panties." Thomas chuckled and leaned forward for a rough kiss. His fingers stretched me nice and open. He pulled away and whispered, "Did you hope I wouldn't wait to be inside you, little one?"
"I was merely obeying your orders, sir," I replied in a husky whisper. My scalp was stinging with his rough hair pull but that made the warm waves hitting all my nerve endings even hotter. I moved my hips so he'd fuck me even deeper. "You ordered me not to bother with panties."
"Mmm, good girl. You did so well." He pulled the dress off my shoulder and bit me again, so hard his teeth must've left a mark. Thomas slipped his fingers out of me and fed me my own juices like I had grown to love. "That's why I'll reward you. You'd better be ready."
I heard the distinctive sound of a zipper being pulled down and before I knew it his turgid tip was parting my slippery pussy lips. He grabbed me by the shoulder, pushed his fingers deep into my mouth and thrust his hips hard until his balls slammed my rough clit.
"Watch yourself, Lina." Thomas was aggressively fucking my mouth with three fingers. I moaned and tightened my slick walls around his thrusting shaft. "So fucking hot. You should never doubt how much I want you."
He let go of my chin and the heavy spit rolled down my gathered breasts as I coughed and tried breathing again. His cock's hard drives were bruising me on the inside, sinking me in the delicious, luxurious pain that was growing into ecstasy. Thomas bit my shoulder and whispered with a tense, desperate voice.
"Put your hands between your legs and play with your clit."
I followed his words and stared up at the mirror while I was tugging and pinching my nub. All the madness and pleasure were twisting my features. My breasts were glistening with spit and trembling with each thrust. His hardened shaft was splitting me open, brushing my cervix and milking my walls.
"Please, don't stop fucking me. Please."
"Trust me, pet, if I could be inside you the entire weekend, I wouldn't waste a minute of it." Thomas dug his fingers into my ass cheeks and kissed me hard while he kept pounding my soaked pussy. "I'll cum inside you. I want you to have my seed in you the entire ride."
"Yes, please... please, fill me with your cum." My eyes were rolling to the back of my head as he crushed me hard against the sink and slapped me hard. He squeezed my reddened nipples and kept up his insane, animalistic rhythm until I could hardly stand. "Mark me."
"I marked you a long time ago." He growled in my ear, grabbed my wrists and squeezed them tight behind me. His other hand grabbed me by the braid and he uttered with a low, authoritative voice, "We have to make this quick, pet. Cum for me. Cum for your owner."
The moment I heard those words, I tipped over the edge. He had me bent over with my face pressed against the sink, in the most uncomfortable position, and yet I was cumming hard and soaking him with my juices. He cried out softly and his cum flooded inside me, hot, thick and sticky.
Thomas let go of my wrists and raised me up for another kiss as the powerful, mutual climax was slowly fading. When I opened my eyes, the affection I read on his face was melting.
"Wow, that was... I think I'll reconsider my opinions on quick and dirty sex." I laughed and he joined me for that sweet afterglow moment.
His palm connected with my butt for a light slap.
"I hate to ruin the moment but we have a trip ahead of us." He kissed my cheek and pulled out of me with a sigh. "And I think someone might have heard us."
"That would be awful." I giggled and reached out for the metal tissue dispenser to wipe away some of the cum that streamed down my thighs.
A few minutes later, we walked out with big grins on our faces. One of the clerks behind the counter gave us a thumbs up.
When Thomas and I got back into the van to continue our little road trip, I thought that in the future we should avoid that gas station...
... or not.
The rest of the car ride passed in a peaceful silence. Lina was staring at the passing landscape with a light smile. Every now and then she reached out for a brief moment to caress my hand on the wheel. The crippling horror and self-doubt from when I took off from my home earlier in the morning were slowly releasing me from their iron fists.
It was the first time since our dramatic reunion that we had a lighthearted moment. I thought jokingly we should have had quick, rough and dirty sex more often.
We were far from resolving our issues but for the time being, I could allow myself to be happy. Lina must've had the same thought.
I turned to her and saw she had fallen asleep. There were dark circles under her eyes showing through her makeup. It was easy to see how pale and colorless her lips were after I had destroyed her lipstick.
The lack of defenses made her look frail and vulnerable, with a tired face, much more slender than I remembered it. Lina was more at ease in her light slumber but every now and then her fingers twitched and she'd move restlessly.
Once we arrived at Stinson Beach, I parked the van in front of a local supermarket and reached out to caress her cheek. She woke up with a start and looked around in a mild panic at the simple touch.
"Sorry." I put a hand on her shoulder and kept her in her seat. "I didn't mean to startle you but we arrived."
Lina smiled weakly and rubbed her eyes as if to scrub the sleepiness from them. She took my hand.
"No, I should be sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep on you or freak out." She laughed wryly. "These days I'm scared of my own shadow."
"Do you sleep enough?" I asked with soft concern and ran my thumb down her jaw.
Lina looked away and shrugged, playing absent-mindedly with the hem of her dress.
"You look like you could use more rest. You're exhausted." I kissed her lips. She didn't pull away but didn't respond with much enthusiasm. "I'm sure you're doing all you can but I want you to take better care of yourself."
"Well, I would've if I could." Lina leaned her head against my shoulder and close
d her eyes. "I don't have nightmares every single night but that's when I get most anxious."
Memories of all those nights after her assault rushed into my mind. I nodded with understanding and kissed the top of her head.
"Let's go." I hugged her and whispered in her ear, "I'll keep you busy today and give you a good workout. Maybe that'll help you sleep better."
Lina smirked and ran her nails over my neck.
"Do your worst, sir."
We didn't stay in town for too long. If it had been summer, it would've been nice to get another cup of coffee and go for a stroll down the narrow streets. I suggested that we stocked her fridge with enough food for two days so we wouldn't have to leave the house. Well, except for some small walks on the beach if the weather allowed it. The rain had stopped but the wind threatened to knock us down when we got out of the car. The clouds and freezing cold air didn't promise anything good.
Lina agreed with me. She said she hadn't been in the house for a long time and had no food stockpiled. So we spent the next half an hour in the supermarket, shopping like any other normal couple. It was surreal to do mundane things with her like picking up food and planning meals for the rest of the weekend after all the angst and anxiety.
How ironic. I enjoyed moments I'd usually find tedious and I feared all the hot, kinky sex we'd most likely have under her roof.
Lina picked up a bottle of white wine from the shelf and looked back at me.
"I'm not sure what you have planned but I could use a drink. You know, for relaxation. Would it be okay?"
I pulled her by the hips, kissed her and rubbed the back of her neck.
"I'll make sure you're relaxed enough without the extra lubrication. Still, it wouldn't hurt. No more than half a glass per meal, and we'll have coffee afterwards."
She trembled when I leaned to whisper in her ear and bite it.
"You're right about one thing, Lina. I do have plans and I want you sober, alert and dripping."
Unorthodox Chemistry Page 24