"More than okay," she replied with a wide grin. "You feel amazing."
"Oh yeah? You like how my cock fills you up, baby?" Slowly I pulled my hips back and thrust forward again.
She gasped and bit her lip again with a soft whimper. Fucking hell, between her face, her body and the tightest pussy on earth, I could never be satisfied by another woman.
"Yesss," she moaned like the little sex kitten she was. "Don't stop, Gavin."
I deepened my thrusts into her, keeping a steady pace despite the urge to go faster and fuck her with abandon. I couldn't come too fast. My woman deserved to enjoy it.
Her thighs gripped tightly around my hips while her nails clawed up my back again, which only spurred me on to drive deeper into her.
"Yes, baby, I love that. Scratch me harder," I commanded her.
Sweet tendrils of painful pleasure surged across my back from Stella's fingertips. She probably didn't draw blood but it would leave marks and I found nothing hotter than wearing evidence of rough, hard sex.
And yet we kissed and still touched each other tenderly. We gave warmth and intimacy to each other as well as bits of painful pleasure. I never thought dirty sex could be intimate but with Stella it was.
"You're so fucking beautiful." I felt like a damn sap telling her constantly but it was the truth. Her flawless skin flushed a soft pink from the heat we created. Her lashes framed her sexy bedroom eyes while her kissable lips formed a round O from her moans. If I could look at her and make love to her every day for the rest of my life, it would never be enough.
"Gavin, I'm so close," she whimpered as she clung to me, claws still digging in as she molded her body to mine.
"Me too, baby," I growled. "I can't hold back much longer."
"Don't hold back," she said. "Give me all of you."
I upped the tempo and intensity of my thrusts as I started losing control. Her moans grew into screams as I drove deeper and harder into her tight, slick core.
My bed frame creaked and rocked in protest as I crashed my hips mercilessly into her. The animal came out of me in full force.
I took her innocence and her body. I took what was mine.
Stella's second orgasm clenched around my cock almost painfully as I emptied my balls into the condom. Again, again and again.
Her pussy milked my cock for all the come it had and I wished there was no barrier between us. Her pussy wanted, no, needed, my come and I wanted to give it all to her.
Time stood still after we both came. Nothing moved except for our breathing. Stella never looked more beautiful with her chest rising and falling, shiny dark hair completely fucked up, and her clear skin marked up from my hands and teeth.
I claimed her and she was mine. All mine.
She confirmed it when I collapsed on the bed next to her and she immediately nestled against my side and laid her head on my chest. My heart hammered like a drum against her cheek.
"No jumping away this time, eh?" I asked, still catching my breath as I encircled my arms around her.
"No," she said softly but remained quiet besides that.
I kissed the top of her head. "How do you feel?"
"A bit sore," she answered and looked up at me with a smile. "But very, very, very good."
I returned her smile, feeling elation in my chest as I kissed the tip of her nose. "I told you so."
CHAPTER 22
STELLA
We laid there quietly, basking in the warmth and comfort of the afterglow of our lovemaking. Relaxation settled over my body like a warm blanket. Gavin’s deep, even breathing under my ear told me he was drifting off to sleep. I looked up at his handsome, sleeping face and his arm tightened around me when he felt me move. I loved it. It just felt so right.
What a perfect, loving moment. Of course, it couldn’t last.
Reality crept in like a cold, winter chill. I still hadn’t talked to my parents about what happened at the ball. Gavin and I still had to face the queen and set this right.
Only now I had to do it after having sex with him, the man who cursed at her and nearly got arrested. If anyone found out what we just did, I had no doubts he would get arrested.
I sat up in a panic but his arm still held me.
"Where are you going?" he asked lazily.
"Let me go, Gavin," I said in a serious tone.
He opened his eyes and sat up abruptly when he saw my face. "What's wrong, baby?"
"Everything's wrong." My lips trembled and my shoulders shook as the shame washed over me. Goddamn, I really, really fucked up.
Gavin reached for me but I turned away from him as the sobs escaped my chest. I couldn’t stop thinking of how our media loved to crucify royal women who lost their virginity before marriage. Royal bachelors made a point of preferring their future wives untainted and pure.
Our moment of love and passion just cost me the rest of my life.
"Talk to me, Stella. Let me help you," Gavin breathed into the back of my neck.
"You can't help me. All you do is ruin things for me!" I regretted the painful words, as true as they were. "You threw away and pissed on everything I taught you, now you've made sure I'll never be royal or married. Well done, Gavin!"
My body felt more alive, ravaged and satisfied than I thought possible. But in my head, I could hear all the disappointed voices of my parents, Janie, and worst of all, the queen.
There I was, lying naked next to the man who took my virginity, running away while Janie's health failed and my family's honor was tarnished forever.
How could I be so stupid? I should have stayed far away from Gavin after he ruined everything last night. But I chased after him like a lovesick puppy. How could he make me feel so good while at the same time, ruining my future?
He wrapped around me tightly and I wanted so badly to melt against him. "How can I make it right, Stella?" he asked into my ear.
"You can't," I spat. My despair was a dam about to overflow. "You had one chance last night and you blew it. This... what we did, just adds insult to injury."
"You don't mean that." I could hear the hurt in his voice and hated it. Above all, I hated myself for causing it.
"How do you know what I mean?" I cried out and stood from the bed. "You don't know or care about anything besides getting your dick wet!"
"That's not true," he said sharply. "I care about you." He reached for my hand and held firmly when I tried to snatch it away. "We're good for each other, Stella. You know we are. We make each other happy. None of this other bullshit matters."
"If you really do care," I sniffled, trying to catch a breath. "Then come with me before the queen. Apologize. Own up to your mistake. If anyone asks about this, deny it. You were sick and I took care of you, that's it."
Gavin looked at me grimly, saying nothing for a while before dropping my hand.
"I won't, Stella."
"You have to! If you want us to be together, it's the only way." A defiant glimmer of hope shone through my despair.
Maybe I could have him. Maybe we could work.
If only he put his foolish pride away to do this one goddamn thing for me.
"Nothing was a mistake." His words cut sharply through the air like a knife. "I meant everything I said to that old bitch and I won't take it back. She called you a traitor and disowned her true son over whom he loves. I'll never beg for crumbs from her."
He stood from the bed and towered over me in his full naked glory like a marble statue come to life. His hand touched my cheek and brushed away the tear that fell there. I gazed up into his handsome face, seeing myself in the dark pools of his eyes and wishing I could stay there.
"And I'll never deny making love to you," he whispered. "We're not a mistake either, Stella. You know this."
He took my hand and placed it over his heart. The warmth and steady rhythm radiated throughout my palm. It was soothing, comforting, and I wanted so badly to agree with him.
But I couldn't. Even if I wasn't a royal anymore, I used to b
e. And my life was not my own.
I pulled my hand from his sculpted chest and covered my own with my arms, suddenly ashamed of my nakedness again. Gavin's face fell and it just about broke my resolve, but I didn't give in.
"If you won't come with me, then that's your answer," I said in a soft, broken voice.
"Don't go, Stella. Not to her."
I heard the pain in his voice and wanted so badly to take it away. "We can talk to your parents together. Maybe they can help us."
I shook my head as the tears fell freely down my cheeks. "They'll never accept us. Even if I'm not anymore, I was a Lord's daughter once." I inhaled a shuddering breath. "And especially not since we aren't married and we just..."
"Marry me, then."
Gavin dropped to his knees, took my hand and kissed it. "I don't have anything to give you but myself. But I promise you will have all of me. Maybe we won't live in a castle but I will make you laugh every single day and make you come every single night. I promise you that, Stella."
He held his lips to my fingers and I covered my mouth with my other hand as I cried, shutting my eyes tightly as the tears squeezed out. Looking back, it would have been funny since we were both still naked.
But all I could feel was my own heart breaking. My fantasy of us running away together shattered into a million pieces. I had no choice but to walk away from the man I knew, in my deepest heart of hearts, would make me the happiest girl alive.
I could have him or my family but not both.
And while he made me feel incredible, physically and emotionally, I only knew him for two weeks. My family was forever. My past, present, and future. Giving them up was not an option.
BZZZZZZZT!
My phone’s insistent buzzing interrupted our already too-long goodbye. I took the distraction to pull my hand away from Gavin's, as much as I hated to.
One glance at my screen made my blood run cold.
The latest message was just one of hundreds of texts, missed calls, and voicemails, but none of them mattered compared to this one. The preview on the lock screen read "JANIE" and I knew it couldn't be good news.
With trembling fingers, I opened the text from my mother. The full message read, "JANIE NEEDS YOU. COME HOME NOW."
"I have to go."
I snapped into action, unfolding my dress from the night before and pulling it on. There was no escaping a walk of shame, but it would look better than wearing Gavin's clothes up to my front door.
"What's wrong? Hey, what happened?" Gavin put a hand on my arm but I snatched it away as I hurriedly put on my shoes.
"It's my nanny. I need to be home." I quickly tapped out a message to Alderton to pick me up immediately. If he hurried from the palace, he could get me in ten minutes.
"Let me come with you," Gavin pleaded.
I laughed bitterly. "You better not." Picturing him and my mother in the same room would be almost as horrifying as last night with the queen.
"Why? I want to be there for you."
"Well every time you try, you get in my way," I hissed. The look on his face killed me but I was pissed. My nanny was dying and he was still trying to make this about us!
"Not to mention, you'll probably get arrested on the spot for this." I pulled aside the neckline of my dress to reveal the massive hickey on my shoulder. I had ten minutes to cover it with makeup and no idea if I'd be successful or not.
"Will you come back?" Gavin asked quietly.
I bit my lip, trying to fight back the tears that still wanted to fall.
"No. This is the end for us, Gavin."
"Can I kiss you before you go?"
I looked away from him. We both knew without saying anything that we'd never stand to be apart the moment we touched again. If I was going to walk out of his life, I had to do it then, before I did kiss him.
Gathering my clutch and shawl, I gave one last look at the man who I slept with for the first time and would compare all other men to. I studied the muscular arms that held me, the dark eyes that burned into mine, the handsome mouth that kissed me and brought me to a world of pleasure I didn’t know was possible. I wanted to seal him into my memory without losing any detail.
"Goodbye, Gavin." I walked to the front door without another word or moment of hesitation and let myself out.
He didn't follow me.
Only after I ran down the stairs and exited the apartment building did I allow myself to cry openly.
CHAPTER 23
STELLA
"Back to the palace, Miss Lundenberg?"
Alderton tried to keep his voice light and casual but I knew he was concerned as he looked at me in the rearview mirror.
"No. Take me straight home, please." Such a painful sentence to say. I didn't dare show my face at the palace. The shame after last night was unbearable. But I had to remember what was truly important. Janie needed me.
I sat back in the car, trying to think of anything to keep my mind off Gavin. I missed my family and yearned to see them, but worry pained me at the same time.
I failed. Not only that, I failed horribly.
And what if, after one look, my parents or Janie would immediately know that I had sex? The worst kind of all, consensual, willing sex before marriage or even an engagement.
Just remembering Gavin's mouth on my clit, his hands cupping my thighs and his massive dick inside me, sent a wave of goosebumps along my skin.
He was so hot and dominant, and still so gentle and reassuring. All my fears, all my insecurities about my body melted away as he made my skin sing with pleasure. I've heard so many stories about men being typically selfish in bed, and he was everything but. He truly did ruin me for all other men. If any other men would even want me after this.
I opened the photo gallery app on my phone and flipped through old pictures of me and Janie. I had to stay focused, stay positive. Having sex, even the best, didn’t matter.
Many years worth of our photos were backed up on my phone. Even some of my baby photos. I was such a brat to Janie back then. Even in recent years as a teenager, I said some really bratty things to her but she took it in stride. She always knew how to deal with me. Still, I wished I appreciated her more.
Alderton drove us for nearly three hours before we reached our countryside home.
A stone sank into the pit of my stomach. Not knowing anything was the worst torture of all.
I opened my door myself as we pulled up and started for the house.
Mum opened the front door as I approached. I smiled, realizing how much I missed her, but she didn't open her arms for a hug.
"Still in your evening clothes?" she said coldly.
"I can explain later,” I gulped. “Where's Janie? How is she?"
My father appeared next to my mother and placed his hands on her shoulders. "You better come in and sit down, Stella."
No. Please God, no.
Robotically I walked into our living room. Normally it would be cozy and familiar but right then it felt cold and clinical.
I took my seat on the couch while my parents sat across from me.
"Stella, there's no easy way to say this," my dad started, his voice heavy with emotion. "Janie passed early this morning, at about 4 am."
"What? That's not possible!" My heart sank as I looked at my mother. "You texted me three hours ago saying she needed me!"
"What else am I supposed to say after you don't reply to any of my calls and messages from last night?" she exclaimed in a shrill voice.
Dad placed his hand over hers as if to keep her calm but she paid him no attention. "Is it true what Alderton told us? You ran out after that boy and spent the night with him?"
I opened my mouth to make my excuses but they got stuck in my throat. I couldn't lie. Not to my mother.
"Yes, it's true," I said in a small voice.
"How could you? We raised you better than that!" Mum shrieked. "And after this scandal with the prince and that boy spoke so rudely to Her Majesty! She may not be a wise ru
ler but she is still the queen. What were you thinking, Stella?"
"Darling, I don't think this is the right time," my father said firmly. "We shouldn't taint Janie's memory with this."
"No, she's already tainted it!" My mother glared daggers at me. "I left message after message pleading you to come home so Janie could spend her last hours with you. But you spent the night alone with that bastard instead!"
"His name is Gavin, mother.”
I couldn’t help but defend him. He broke my heart and played a part in ruining my future, but he still meant the world to me. He made me feel things I didn’t think were possible. I wouldn’t let anyone talk badly about him.
"Oh, good! At least you knew one thing before hopping into bed with him like a wh-,"
"Enough of this!" Dad waved his hand through the air. "None of us had any idea when Janie would pass, but the point is we've lost a member of our household today and must honor her memory."
My mother stood abruptly and walked out of the room without giving me a second look. A heavy, uncomfortable silence fell over us and I wished I never came home. I wanted to be back in Gavin’s bed, wrapped up in his arms and shielded from the world.
"I know I disappointed you both," I said to my dad once we were alone. "I'm so sorry." Was it my shame over what I had done that sat like a heavy boulder on my chest? Or my grief and shock? I had no idea how to separate the two.
"Perhaps we put too much pressure on you," he replied gently and patted me on the knee. "Don't worry, Stel. Everything will work itself out."
I nodded but felt the tears threatening to fall again. Janie's sudden absence from not only my life but the world sank in like an unbelievable sadness. My nanny was gone. Forever. And I never got a chance to say goodbye to her.
Dad pulled me into a hug and gently shushed me while patting my hair.
"Get some rest, love. And some fresh clothes and something to eat." He kissed the top of my head like I was a little girl again. "And listen, don't pay any mind to what your mother said. She was terribly worried about your safety. Plus she's grieving in her own way."
Beauty and the Bastard: A Royal Bad Boy Romance Page 11