by Krista Lakes
“You're awfully quiet,” Bastian noted, checking his waffle before flipping the iron. “You okay?”
I pushed the butter around the skillet, watching it melt and change into something else.
“I leave in a few hours,” I said finally, my heart aching at just saying the words. I didn't want to leave, but I had to get back to my life. I had to get back to Dad. He was getting a pacemaker and I needed to be there for him. I had responsibilities and I couldn't stay in the Caribbean playing happy honeymoon forever.
“I know.” Bastian's voice held as much sadness as mine did.
“What happens next?” I asked. I cracked an egg, watching it sizzle in the butter before I mushed the yolk into a yellow mess. I turned around slowly to watch him.
“What do you mean?” Bastian removed his first waffle and put it on a plate. It was a perfect golden brown. He added more batter to the iron.
“What happens with us, Bastian?”
It was one of the few things we hadn't discussed this past week. We both had silently agreed to avoid it, finding other topics far more interesting. Our time together had been better than either one of us could remember, but we both knew that talking about it meant that it would come to an end. Except, even without discussing it, it was still ending.
“I don't know.” He ran a hand through his hair, spiking the still damp golden-brown tresses up. “I don't want to lose you, though.”
I turned around, focusing on stirring the eggs. I knew what had to be done. What had to be done to keep us both from making promises we couldn't keep.
“I think we should just end it.”
“What?” Bastian's voice cracked slightly.
I turned the heat down on the eggs and turned around, biting my lip. This needed to be done. I was giving him his life back because I wouldn't fit in it. I never would have fit.
“I have to go back home,” I said slowly. “You have to go back to New York. I can't work in NY. You can't work in my tiny town.”
“We could find a way,” he insisted. He set down the bowl of waffle batter.
I shook my head. “Bastian, you're a billionaire. I'm not. You drive luxury cars and I drive my cousin's hand-me-down car. You deserve someone better than me.”
There. I said it. The truth was out now.
“No, I don't,” he growled.
“Yes, you do,” I insisted. I motioned to my sunburned nose and cheap clothes. “Look at me. I can't go to your fancy galas and dinner parties. I don't fit in that world.”
Bastian's gray eyes narrowed. “You could.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “When I leave tonight. I leave.”
“Ava...”
“It's been a wonderful trip, but that's all it was.” I swallowed down the ache in my heart. I wanted to throw up, but this was how it had to be. He deserved someone worthy of him and his world and that person wasn't me. He would drop me just like Chad did, only harder. It was only a matter of time before he saw that I wasn't worthy of him. I couldn't take that pain. The knowledge that I didn't deserve him and he just hadn't realized it yet pounded in my head like cruel drum beats. I had to make them stop. “Let's not make this into something more than the two of us having a good time.”
The waffles started to burn.
Hurt painted across his face in broad strokes. Shock and anger replaced it. His scar was livid against his pale cheek as he processed my callous words.
He ripped the waffle iron out of the wall and threw the entire thing in the sink. I jumped at the loud and angry motion. The iron clattered and hissed against the stainless steel sink, smoking and steaming as the ruined waffle ran out the sides.
He turned and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving the mess of waffles in his wake. I held my wooden spatula in shock as I heard him thunder up the stairs. The slam of his study door made the mansion shake and I could hear the harsh turn of the lock even from the kitchen.
My eggs were burning.
I didn't care. Saying those words had hurt far more than I had expected. They were lies and I knew it, yet I had said them.
I pushed them to the side, sliding down to the floor and sobbing for the man I knew I couldn't have.
Sunrise Kisses: Chapter 22
One week. One glorious week.
I put my swimsuit carefully away in my suitcase. I couldn't believe how fast the week had gone. I needed to find my sandals and put them in next, but I was taking my time and moving as slowly as possible. I didn't want the week to end yet. I wasn't ready for it to end yet. I didn't want this dream to end.
The week had been a glorious blur of Bastian, paddle-boarding, art, and the most mind-blowing sex I had ever had. Up until this morning, it had been heaven.
I was going to miss Bastian, but I knew it was better for him for me to end it. It wasn't just the sex that made him so amazing, though it certainly didn't hurt. If I ever told him that he was sweet, he would most certainly deny it, but it was true. He was incredibly intelligent with a sharp sense of humor that had me laughing and smiling without realizing it. He deserved someone worthy of him. Someone better than me.
He was perfect. And wonderful. And everything I ever wanted.
And I had to leave him. For his own good. He deserved someone who could be his equal. Past experience had taught me that it wasn't me.
I had no reason to stay. The appraisal was done. I had completed it in time and was actually quite proud of my work. It had been hard, and there were a couple late nights, but between sending pictures to my father and working every moment that I wasn't with Bastian, I had gotten it all done. It was the biggest job I had ever done. It was time for me to go take care of Dad, now.
All good things must come to an end, I thought as I stuffed my last shirt into the bag. The auction would be next week, but that was my aunt's domain. My part of working for Sebastian Belrose was complete and I had nothing left to do. I was supposed to go home now. It was time for me to go back to my regular life where I belonged. As much as I wanted to belong here, I knew I didn't.
I closed my eyes and imagined what life would be like if I hadn't told him I was leaving.
I would be flying to New York all the time. Missing business. He would be flying to me all the time. We wouldn't have any time together. We would fight. I would embarrass him at social situations. He would find someone better. If I wasn't enough for a small fish like Chad, then Bastian would tire of me even sooner.
I would only end up hurting both of us. It was better this way.
The light in the room was fading quickly, making everything appear gray and drab. I looked out the window of my room. The sky was quickly darkening as the sunset approached. Bastian stood at the water's edge, staring off at the blackening horizon. I didn't want to leave, but I knew it was time. My dream job was over. Despite this morning, I needed to say goodbye. I had to see him one last time.
I did one last sweep of the room, making sure that everything was neatly packed away into my suitcase. Someone would come and take it to the car for me soon. I placed my bag on the bed and went down to say my goodbyes.
I had already said goodbye to Lucia at breakfast, and Charlotte had apologized over video chat for leaving and not coming back days ago. She was still stuck on the mainland working on the company app with Leo. I hoped things were going well for her and that she would finally get the courage to tell him she liked him. I hoped I would see her again, but I wasn't sure.
I stepped out onto the fine white sand. Bastian was wearing his full length shirt again, after an entire week of wearing short-sleeves or nothing. It looked strange now. Like he had on the wrong skin. The wind tugged at his hair, messing it's warm brown and golds into a tangles.
I stood beside him, watching the horizon grow dark as the sun set behind us. We were looking toward the dawn, both of us wishing the sun were coming up instead of going down. He moved his hand, then paused, as if unsure how I would react. In a quick movement, he took my hand in his, holding onto me tightly.
Our shadows stretched out far into the dark water until the stars started to twinkle, but still we stood. Finally, he turned, his gray eyes full of a sadness I shared and a pain I had caused. His hand held onto mine like I might turn to mist at any moment and disappear from his sight. I could still see the anger, deep in his dark eyes, but it was overshadowed by sadness and acceptance.
He was letting me leave because I had told him I needed to. He was giving me what I asked.
I hated thinking about it, but now it was time. We were from separate worlds. We were both trapped by our businesses and our obligations to others.
Our worlds were just too different, our lives too separate. A fish may love a bird, but where would they build their nest.... We both knew it. Better to end it here before we really hurt one another.
Shadows filled his face. The scars on his cheek and eyebrow darkened as the sun faded into obscurity. He touched my face, caressing my cheek with his fingers like he was memorizing me.
“I have to go,” I said quietly, leaning into his touch and never wanting him to stop. My chest ached with an unexplainable pain. I hadn't expected this moment to hurt this much. “My plane will be leaving soon.”
“I know,” he replied, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His hand went to the back of my neck. He slowly lowered his face to mine, kissing me goodbye one last time. The kiss was soft and warm, lingering and full of memory. I closed my eyes and took in every detail. The way his five-o'clock shadow scratched my lips, how warm he was, the taste of his tongue, and the scent of his cologne. I wanted to remember every detail.
“I've never liked the dark, but with you, it's tolerable,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. He caressed my cheek again, his fingers soft with regret. “In fact, I think I could get used to the dark if you were there with me. Possibly even enjoy it.”
My throat constricted, and I couldn't speak. I didn't have the words to tell him how I felt. How I needed him. He didn't deserve to be stuck with me when he could have someone so much better. I wasn't good enough for anyone, let alone Bastian.
So, instead I kissed him, pouring every fiber of my being into the kiss and hoping that he understood. I wanted to stay with him more than I wanted to breathe. He was a part of me now, and leaving was like losing a limb. If it hurts this much now, imagine the heartache later, I told myself.
Elijah cleared his throat. “It's time to go,” he announced, as gently as he could from behind us.
“Goodbye, Bastian,” I whispered, pressing my forehead into his. Better to prevent the pain, I reminded myself. Better for both of us.
“Goodbye, Ava,” he whispered back. I kissed him one last time before summoning every ounce of strength I had to turn and walk away.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I could do this. I could leave him now and it wouldn't be as bad as it would be later. In a few days, this would just be a happy memory. We would be back to our normal lives within forty-eight hours.
This was a fling. A beach romance. An impossible love. It could never survive outside the sandy shores of the Caribbean. If we brought it back with us, it would die a cold and cruel death in the winter winds of reality. This was for the better. This is for our own good.
The walk to the car was longer than I could have imagined. Elijah padded softly behind me as I left the man who meant so much to me standing on a dark beach. I wanted to cry, but it hurt so much that I didn't even have tears for it yet.
“Have a safe trip home, Ava,” Elijah said, opening the door to the car. “It was wonderful to have you here.”
“Thank you, Elijah,” I replied. He would know just how much Bastian meant to me. How much I meant to Bastian. “It was wonderful. Like a dream. I wish I didn't have to leave.”
My voice cracked and the tears finally found their way to the surface. Elijah gave me a small, sad smile and then tapped on the roof to signal the driver. Marcus waited until I had fastened my seat-belt to start the engine.
The car purred to life as Marcus maneuvered out of the giant driveway and to the main road. I looked back, seeing the ocean glinting of the receding moon as we drove away. I could just make out Bastian's silhouette against the water. His head thrown back as if he were screaming at the water.
I turned away, not wanting to look anymore. It was time for me to go home.
Sunrise Kisses: Chapter 23
The flight to Florida was short. The private jet was just as huge as the one we had arrived on, but it felt too small now. I was confined by the plane. Confined to going back to my life. Alone.
I stayed awake, keeping myself busy with paperwork, but I kept having to redo it. I couldn't concentrate. Every time I had to write Sebastian Belrose's name as the owner of an item, my brain would freeze and I would picture his face. The way he smelled. The touch of his skin.
“Miss?” the flight attendant caught my attention, smiling politely. “We need to refuel. You're welcome to go into the airport and walk around for a few minutes.”
I looked down at the blank form in my hands. All I had accomplished in the past thirty minutes was filling out Sebastian's name. Twice. In the wrong locations.
I sighed, folding the paper into fourths to throw in the trash. “Thank you, I think I will,” I said, standing. “The fresh air might clear my head.”
I carefully navigated the stairs out of the plane and onto the tarmac. It was a private airport, but it still smelled of asphalt and jet fuel. At least it was quiet. The humid air hit me like a punch in the face after the dry air of the plane. Ominous lightning flashed in the distance. I could smell it on the wind. It would probably rain later.
Moving felt good. I walked the length of the terminal, just stretching my legs and getting blood to flow again. I found a cute little coffee-shop and purchased an overpriced latte. But some caffeine and mocha sugar sounded like comfort food and I needed some comfort.
The barista finished my coffee and I continued to wander the terminals. The plane would be ready soon, but I wasn't. Florida was still closer to the Caribbean than Colorado was, which meant that right now, I was still closer to Bastian than I would be in several hours.
I stopped in front of a big window looking out on two private jets. Beyond them, the lights to whichever city was closest twinkled in the distance. It was pretty, but in a lonely way. The lights were people but far away.
“You look amazing with those lights behind you,” said a voice I didn't want to hear. Every muscle in my body tensed as I turned, praying it wasn't Chad. I knew he was supposed to go to the Caribbean to prep for the auction, but what where the odds that he would have a layover at the same airport at the same time I was leaving?
The odds were not in my favor. It was him.
He stood in the private airport, looking for all intents and purposes like he belonged. He had on pressed khaki's, a pink polo shirt, and had even tied a sweater around his shoulders. He looked absolutely pretentious.
“What are you doing here, Chad?” I asked, coldly. I had to focus on not crushing my coffee cup into oblivion. Luckily, it was mostly empty, so even if I did lose my cool and squeezed, it wasn't the end of the world.
“We're refueling before heading to the island,” Chad announced stepping forward. He oozed suave confidence. “I'm the lead auctioneer for the Belrose Estate. Gotta have the best.”
I wanted to smack his cocky grin off his smug face. But I had enough fighting today to last me a lifetime. Instead I did my best to smile politely. I wanted to walk away, but he had me pinned between him and the window. The only way back to my plane was past him.
“You look like the island was good to you,” he commented, his eyes doing a once over. I instantly felt dirty.
“It was. Excuse me, I need to get back to my plane,” I replied, sidestepping him and walking away. I was already heart-sore and homesick. I didn't need another fight with Chad.
“Ava, please... please don't walk away from me,” he begged. “I just want to talk to you for a moment.�
�� For a second, I thought he might actually be human and feel regret, so I paused and instantly regretted it.
He took my hand in his, holding it up to his cheek. He was certainly handsome, but he lacked Bastian's charms. Where Bastian's eyes told me everything I wanted to know, Chad's were flat and deceptive. I had once believed those eyes, but now I knew better.
“I love you.” He said it like the words had meaning. Except I had heard him say those words every day before going off to bang Charity. They were just a leash to tie me to him.
“I don't want to hear this.” I tried to pull my hand back, but he held on tight.
“Ava, I want you back. I've missed you so much.” He fluttered his long lashes, doing his best to make me believe but failing. I had seen what it looked like when someone wanted me. Bastian had wanted me. Chad wanted something I had to offer, but it wasn't me.
“I don't believe you.” I wanted to get away from him.
“All our friends say how good we are together,” he tried again. “Please, just give me another chance.”
I ripped my hand from his grasp, stumbling back in the process and spilling what was left of my coffee on the floor. He was a liar. All his friends said we were good together. I had lost my friends when he came into my life. I realized that now. He had distanced me from anyone who would say anything ill about him.
“It's too late, Chad,” I snapped. He had broken something inside of me and I didn't want him touching me anymore. I wanted him to stop trying to make me forget the pain he had caused. I was never going back to him. “I'm seeing someone else.”
I had no idea what possessed me to say such a thing, especially to Chad. While it was partially true, it was such a juvenile comeback and I knew it carried almost no weight. Chad obviously wasn't too keen on exclusivity.
Chad laughed. It made my teeth stand on end. I hated his laugh. “It's a small town, Ava. I know you're not seeing anyone.”
“Who said it was in town?” I nearly clapped my hands over my mouth. I needed to stop talking. I needed to get back on my plane and run from Chad. He was nothing but bad news.