“I can handle indecisive,” I tell him. “In fact, it’s where I live. Gus can’t make decisions to save his life. Unless it’s about what genius level software program the world needs next. That’s why I’m here to take care of all the little stuff.”
“Oh, Ramona’s not indecisive,” Jake says leaning over towards me conspiratorially. “She’s just a stone cold bitch. Just wait. She’ll tell you she wants something one way, then she’ll yell at you for doing it the way she told you too. She’ll pretend she always wanted it another way and make it your fault that it got screwed up.”
I balk at this news. True, the woman I met yesterday hadn’t struck me as particularly likable, (and not just because she was engaged to the love of my life), but the idea that Gus would marry a woman as horrible as the one Jake had just described was almost unthinkable.
“I’m sure she’s not as bad as that,” I say.
“Oh, just you wait,” he tells me. “She’s coming in this afternoon to see what we’ve got done so far. You’ll see if for yourself then.”
I nod, half hoping that he’s wrong, but dreading that he might be right. When he pulls out a huge binder with a list of potential florists a mile long, I have a horrible sinking feeling that it’s the latter.
*****
“No!” Ramona says, screaming at Jake for the fifth time this week. “I said I wanted daffodils and lilacs. Not roses and bluebonnets.”
As usual, she did originally tell us that she wanted roses and bluebonnets for the bouquet. I was there when she said it. But, I know it’s no use arguing with her. I just send a sympathetic wince to Jake and make a note to change the order.
“And the cake is supposed to be designer-made from La Frite bakery,” she continues, her face red. She’s not nearly as beautiful when she’s angry as she is when she’s pretending to be happy.
“We called them,” I answer her deciding to take a bullet for Jake. “They said it would take two months to make a cake like the one you want. They’re backed up with wedding orders right now.”
“Did you talk to Hank?” Ramona says turning on me. The ire in her voice is apparent and I have no idea who Hank is.
“Well, I talked to Bill at the front desk,” I say slowly knowing that an explosion is coming.
“Oh, my god!” she screams on cue. “How incompetent can you two be? Here!”
She grabs one of my post-it notes as well as my favorite pen from the front of my desk. Hastily, she jots down a number.
“There,” she says. “That is Hank’s private phone number. Call him and get the cake taken care of.”
She shoves the post-it note into my hand with a huff.
“Now,” she says tossing her long hair over her shoulder. “If you two don’t mind, I need to have a little chat with my fiancé. Believe it or not, I’ve got better things to do than babysit you.”
She gives us a superior eye roll and stalks into Gus’s office without waiting to be announced.
“I told you,” Jake says as soon as she’s gone. “The worst bridezilla hasn’t got anything on her.”
I nod in silent agreement and turn back to my phone.
“I’d better get on the cake before she freaks out at me again,” I say, grabbing for the phone at the front of my desk. Jake puts out a hand to stop me. His hand lands on top of mine and I look back at him blushing furiously.
“It’s almost five o’clock,” he says. “Trust me, the cake can wait until tomorrow.”
“You sure about that?” I ask. “I mean like you said, we’re not dealing with an ordinary bridezilla in there.”
“True,” Jake says, “but, remember, I know Ramona. I know what buttons I can push, and which to leave alone. Trust me. The state she’s in, she won’t ask about the cake again until tomorrow.”
I hesitate, my hand still on the phone, Jake’s hand still on mine. I look up into those dark eyes and suddenly, I can’t help but smile.
“Well,” I say, “if you’re sure…”
“I’m positive,” he says leaning in towards me. I can smell his cologne and it’s beyond amazing.
“Then I guess I’ll leave it,” I say.
He smiles and leans in closer to me. He’s going to kiss me. I am actually going to be kissed. It’s been two years.
I close my eyes, and—
“I can’t believe you would say that to me!” says Ramona, her voice carrying out into the hallway, causing Jake and me to jump apart.
I stare at Gus’s closed office door. I no longer have to imagine what’s going on inside. As Gus’s voice raises, I know I’m going to be able to hear everything from here on out.
“Ramona!” he yells back. But, there’s a pleading tone in Gus’s voice that contrasts hers.
“Please! Just listen! You promised you would stay on this budget for the wedding and—”
“I don’t have to listen to this anymore,” she answers. “Just take the night to get your head on straight and decide whether or not you actually want to get married.
Jake and I jump away from each other as Gus’s office door bursts open and Ramona stalks out.
She doesn’t spare either of us a second glance as she stomps angrily down the hall.
“Trouble in paradise,” Jake mutters to me with a small smirk, but I’m hardly paying attention to him.
Instead, I look toward the still-open office door and see Gus slouched in the chair at his desk, his head buried in his hands. I know I have to go talk to him even though it’ll be tough to hear him spill his heart out to me about another woman. If he really is going to marry Ramona, it’s something I’m going to have to get used to.
“Hey, give me just a minute, okay?” I say to Jake.
“Sure,” he says looking at me, a tad confused, as I make my way into Gus’s office.
“Hi,” I say closing the door behind me.
Gus looks up at me his usually immaculate hair a mess, his eyes bloodshot. His face has lost more and more of its color in the past two weeks since Ramona arrived.
“I take it you heard all of that,” he says in a weary voice, attempting a smile at me.
“That would be a fair assumption,” I say, walking over to him and sitting down on the edge of the desk in front of his chair. Just like I always do when we have chats like this.
“You okay?” I ask. I know the answer, but, I know he needs to talk and this gives him the opportunity.
“Yeah...no...I don’t know,” Gus answers without conviction, “Ramona’s just been driving me a little crazy lately.”
“What’s going on?” I ask. I try to tell myself not to get too excited about the prospect of the bloom falling off Ramona and Gus’s romance. Especially since there’s an unbelievably attractive, witty young man waiting for me on the other side of Gus’s office door. Still, old habits die hard, I suppose.
“I found out today that she used the company credit card to pay for the wedding invitations,” Gus says.
“You mean...your company card?” I ask in shock. Gus doesn’t even let me use that for business lunches. He says unless it’s strictly a business expense it goes on a personal account. And I can see why. CEOs have lost their companies over things like this.
“Yeah,” Gus says running a hand over his face. “Anyway, I tried to talk to her about it and she freaked out. She kept saying that me keeping her from using my money means that I don’t trust her.”
“But, it’s not your money,” I say. “It’s the company’s money.”
“That’s exactly what I said,” Gus says. I can hear an ebb of frustration in his voice. I know enough about my stepbrother to know he’s not frustrated with me. He isn’t even really frustrated with Ramona. He’s upset that he couldn’t make her understand.
“Then she said that if I didn’t want to give her the wedding she always dreamed of, maybe we shouldn’t get married at all,” Gus says.
“I’m sure she doesn’t mean it,” I tell him. And, I try to tell the horrible part of my brain that wants to see R
amona out of his life to shut up and turn off.
“I know,” he says wearily. “She’s just tired and frustrated but...so am I! And, if she can’t see why her spending money without telling me is a problem, then…”
Gus stopped and looked down at his desk. I could tell he didn’t want to finish that sentence. Had no intention of following the thought to its logical conclusion.
He looked upset by the very idea of not getting married in a month. Dazed by it, in fact. And, I knew that if I was to help him, really help him, I had to give solid objective advice.
Advice that didn’t have a secret agenda. That didn’t try to ruin his relationship but also didn’t push him into a relationship if it wasn’t the right thing for him.
We sat in silence as I thought about the situation. I thought of everything I knew about Gus. He was kind but very stubborn, rich but incredibly thrifty, some would even call him stingy.
Then, I thought about everything I knew about Ramona, through my interactions with her these past two weeks as well as everything Jake had told me.
She did not seem like the type of person Gus would be happy with. She was beautiful, true. But, demanding and controlling. And self-absorbed.
Despite all this, I can’t help but remember how happy Gus had seemed the day he walked in the office with Ramona on his arm two weeks ago. Clearly, this is a relationship that won’t be dissolved overnight.
So, with a deep breath, I decide to dispense my advice.
“I heard she gave you the night to think about it,” I say hesitantly. Even though the ultimatum was shouted for the entire floor to hear, I can’t help but feel like I was eavesdropping.
“She did,” Gus says with a sigh. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“I think you should take her advice,” I say. “Sleep on it. Really think about what she did. Then think about what she means to you. The way I see it if you decide you can’t live your life without her...that’s worth a little extra spending every now and then.”
I try to smile as I say this and, when I see Gus beam at me, I finally manage it.
“Thanks, Em,” he says. I feel my heart begin to beat quickly when he reaches over and puts his hand on top of mine. He’s done this before. I know he means it in a friendly way. Still, my jumping pulse doesn’t seem to understand that.
“I do need to think about this,” he says, “Maybe this all went too fast. Maybe I rushed into it.”
“Sleep on it,” I tell him. “Don’t make a decision until the morning.”
“I won’t,” he says.
“Promise?” I ask jokingly. This is something we’ve done since high school.
“Cross my heart, hope to die,” he replies, “stick a needle in my eye.”
I giggle in spite of myself and his smile broadens. I can’t help but notice that his hand is still on mine.
“One thing I do know right now,” he says looking down at our tangled hands, “I don’t think I would last one day without you.”
He looks back up at me with a look I’ve never seen before. At least, I’ve never seen it directed at me before.
He moves the hand that’s not on mine up to my cheek and I remind myself to breathe. Gently, he closes the gap between us and kisses me.
I’m frozen in shock for a moment before I open my mouth and return his kiss. He brings his hand down from my cheek to rest on my shoulder. He moves his hand from my hand to my waist. He pulls me to him in the chair and suddenly, I feel his warm body all around me.
Something in the back of my mind is telling me to stop. Telling me that we shouldn’t be doing this. But that tiny voice is drowned out by the sensation of his lips on mine, his hand wandering over my body.
I throw my arms around his neck and push myself as close to him as I can possibly get. His hands are roaming all over my body. Tangling in my hair then moving along my back, brushing over my breasts.
His hand finally moves to the bare skin of my leg. He begins to move his hand up my skirt and I heave a sigh into his mouth.
This seems to bring him back to himself.
He moves quickly back from me and stands from his chair, breathing as though he had nearly drowned.
I have to grab hold of the wall to keep myself upright when he stands. By the time I find my bearings, he’s already half way across the room at the office door.
As soon as he reaches the door, he turns back to me.
“Emma, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…” he looks from me to the floor as though unsure of what to say next. “I mean, we shouldn’t have….I’m sorry.”
As soon as the last two words are said, he rushes out the door. For the next several minutes, I’m left staring at the door, tears silently falling down my cheeks.
*****
I don’t know how long I stay in the closed office, silently crying, staring at the wooden door where Gus had disappeared.
I know that, at one point, I sink down into Gus’s chair, put my face in my hands and begin to cry openly. Not caring that snot is running down my nose or if my sobs can be heard through the door and down the hall.
Just when I think I might have been be over him. Just when I thought I might be able to move on; to give up on this stupid little crush, he has to do that.
I know I shouldn’t be upset with him. I know he was sad and vulnerable and his fiancée had just walked out on him. He was weak and I was there. He couldn’t possibly be held responsible, not fully.
Still, I couldn’t help but clench my fists in anger as I thought about what he’d told me.
‘I don’t think I would last one day without you.’
So, he needed me. But for what? Did he need me just to keep his schedules, go to his meetings, and help run his company? Did he need me to be a shoulder to cry on? To put my life on hold when he needed me and disappear into a convenient stepsister corner when he didn’t?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t keep being his employee, his sister, his best friend, his emotional rock and everything else without really being anything definite to him.
It’s killing me. Something has to change.
I barely wipe my eyes free of tears when I hear the door creak open. I look up, half hoping that Gus will be in the doorway so that I can yell and scream at him for playing with me like this.
It’s not Gus. Instead, Jake’s face looks back at me, concerned.
“Hey,” he says, “you okay?”
I stand up and wipe more tears away. I walk towards him thinking of telling him that I’m fine. That nothing’s wrong. Or that I’m just stressed because of the wedding and everything else.
Instead, I’m horrified with myself when I feel two more tears run down my cheeks and I find that I can’t speak.
“Em,” he says urgently walking in fully and closing the door behind him. “What’s wrong?”
I open my mouth and try to answer. I try to form some logical sentence. But, nothing comes out. Instead, I simply shake my head ‘no’.
And, before I know it, Jake is hugging me and I’m sobbing onto his strong shoulders as he makes soothing circles on my back.
“Hey,” he whispers finally. “Do you want to get out of here? Maybe get a drink and talk about it?”
I pull away nodding and wiping my eyes.
“A drink would be good,” I answer thickly. My nose still running like a faucet. Jake reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a handkerchief.
In spite of myself, I laugh when he hands it to me.
“I think you might be one of the last guys I know who still carries around a handkerchief,” I say.
“Always happy to prove that chivalry isn’t dead,” he says with a smirk.
I wipe my eyes and then my nose on his white handkerchief and smile gratefully.
“So,” I say once I’ve sufficiently cleaned myself up, “where do you want to go for drinks?”
“Well...if you want...I’ve got a temporary apartment just a block away,” he sa
ys. “It might be best to go someplace quiet.”
Though he offers this explanation, I know what he really wants. To tell the truth, I’ve had a feeling this was coming for the past two weeks. With all the teasing and flirting Jake and I have been doing, not to mention the kiss we almost shared just before Ramona and Gus’s big fight, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened yet.
The reason for that, I know, is Gus. The truth is, as attracted as I am to Jake, I haven’t wanted to make a move because, somewhere in the back of my mind, I’ve still been thinking that Gus might come to his senses. I’ve imagined Gus dumping Ramona and then confessing his never-ending love for me.
Now, after what just happened, after what Gus and I did, I realize just how pathetic that is. And I’m done with it.
I’m not going to sit around waiting for some guy to decide whether or not he wants me. Instead, I’m going to live my life and try doing a few of the things that I really, truly want to do.
And, at the moment, that includes going with Jake to his apartment for drinks.
I look up at Jake with a smile on my face.
“That sounds perfect,” I tell him. “Lead the way.”
*****
“He doesn’t deserve you,” Jake tells me as he pours me another glass of red wine. It’s my third and my head is starting to buzz pleasantly. I’ve told him the whole story between me and Gus. Up to and including what happened in Gus’s office that afternoon.
“Well, I know that now,” I answer. “I just wish I’d figured it out years ago. It would’ve saved me a hell of a lot of heartache.”
Jake sits back down next to me on his couch. It’s black with white pillows and matches the rest of the color scheme in the small, one bedroom apartment.
“I still don’t get how he could do that,” Jake says, reaching over to the coffee table and taking a sip of his own wine. “I mean he had a beautiful girl in his lap, clearly into him and he just...stops? How could he do that?”
“If you knew Gus you’d get it,” I answer. “He doesn’t cheat. Not on tests when we were in school, not in business and definitely not in his relationships.”
In Time to Love Page 34