by JL Madore
"Aren't you supposed to be on my side?"
He chuckled. "Always. Have you prayed to the Creator or the Earth Mother? What have they to say about Bruin?"
"Nothing. Every time I ask the Earth Spirits about him the air is silent. The spirits have never failed me before and I don't understand what their silence means."
Grandfather exhaled a puff of smoke and smiled. "From the day my eyes fell upon your grandmother until the day she became my bride, she was the only one the spirits would speak nothing of."
Tears filled my eyes as grief tightened like a band around my chest. "Oh Grandfather, Bruin is so willful and aggressive. He's infuriating. We don't make a good match. We fight constantly. How can the Earth Mother think we'd ever be happy?"
"It is sometimes difficult to look in a mirror, child, but it does not change what you will see. He may infuriate you, but you give him the same in turn. Neither of you are weak spirits."
I swiped at the tears dripping off my chin. "Are you saying I'm difficult?"
He chuckled. "I enjoy every moment of loving you, Mika, as will the man you are meant to be with. That boy loves you beyond all reason. I know you don't wish to see it, but those of us watching from a distance do. It's as obvious as a train running straight at you . . . with the headlights on . . . and the whistle blowing shrill into the night."
"It's just . . . he's such an unbelievable. . ." I clenched my jaw and tossed more kibble.
"He is not your father, child."
I stiffened. "I never thought he was."
"No? You mean you've taken Bruin at his word and never judged him for the actions of the man who left you behind? The man who you believe never truly wanted you or loved you or your mother?"
He drew on his pipe and released a sweet-smelling cloud into the evening air. "Rabbit, whether you want to admit it or not, Bruin is perfect for you. You never have to wonder what's on his mind and you never have to worry about him straying or losing interest."
Fabulous, just the conversation I want to have with my grandfather. "You know? About the whole mating one person thing?"
"I've been speaking with Castian and Reign, yes. I need to understand where your path is headed. The power of the Were-mating is such that it grows and strengthens over time. What the two of you feel for each other now is nothing to the power of your connection if you accept him. I am told, once mated pairs pass the trials of courtship, their love becomes its own entity."
"What if it is because he has no choice? What if he'd have preferred his ex-lover to me? She's tall and exotic and a warrior, like him. What if she's who he wants?"
"Have you asked him?"
"Yes."
"And what was his answer?"
"He said he and Katsu were only a physical distraction, nothing more. He said he loves me . . . and even if I choose to go he'll make sure I'm safe."
"His instinct to protect you is strong."
"I can take care of myself."
His smile crinkled his face like a Shar-Pei. He placed his pipe squarely in his mouth and used both hands to get up. Orville ambled out of the trees and rubbed against his shin. Leaning on his stick, he took a moment to straighten, and then turned back toward the path. "It does not make you weak to trust in someone, Rabbit. In fact, you may find it makes you stronger. Perhaps it isn't about whether or not you can take care of yourself, but the blessing that you no longer have to."
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
There were aspects of life at Haven I truly loved. Being met in the forest by a wolf friend and her escorting me back to Jade's . . . yeah, that was definitely one of them.
As Faolan and I made our way back from the stream and across the well-secured grounds, I fingered through the wolf's coat and marveled at how my connection to my gifts flourished in this world. I'd chosen to live in Vancouver partly because the spirits remained remote and elusive in the city. The noise, the technology and the processed living all kept my gifts at bay. In the city, I was almost normal. Just a Native girl living my life.
Hiding from my life might be more accurate.
The people here rallied in the face of the strange and unusual, embraced their oddities, their abilities, their gifts. Yes. I supposed they really were gifts, though I'm not sure I'd ever really felt that way about what I could do before. Why did I close myself off?
I wasn't the first person to lose parents. At least my parents hadn't tried to kill me like Cowboy's. And despite the loss of Lucas and Amy, the new surroundings and everyone around them being strangers, the cubs continued to thrive. It spoke to both Hugh's family—as well as Aust—that they were doing so well.
Bruin had been lucky to be adopted and raised by Reign. He'd had siblings and friends, learned values and responsibility, but was it like that everywhere? I'd been blessed to have Grandfather. The cubs had Hugh. I wondered, in light of all the recent killings, if Weres had a system in place to care for displaced victims of the Scourge.
Following the path, Faolan and I kept to the inside of the massive stone wall encircling Jade's property. The chill of the night was a little shocking after the warmth of the day. A shiver passed through me as we headed toward the house, the sky all but giving up to dusk. The light might have been fading, but I still spotted them.
Bruin and Katsu.
Before they noticed us, I crouched beside Aust's wolf and found cover in the adjacent maze of trees. Under the trellised arbor well ahead, Bruin sat on a bench, tucked in all cozy and snug with a certain Asian sorceress. As she leaned against his chest, his arm lay across her shoulder, her head tilted and resting in the crook of his neck.
I couldn't breathe. She fit under his arm perfectly. Bitch.
Their body language screamed sorrow and longing, their touch familiar. For the millionth time, I wondered why I was there. "Earth Spirits, carry their conversation to my ears, please."
Faolan must have felt the change in the air because she canted her head and whined. One of the reasons I excelled investigating was due to my ability to gather information from great distances. After a moment, my hair lifted and a cool breeze circled my body.
"—and I'm sorry," Bruin said, stroking the length of Katsu's black shimmering hair. "I wish it could be different. If there was something I could do. . ."
"Fucking Fates," she sobbed.
"Shh. Don't cry, honey. I swear you're going to get through this."
"It's just—"
"I know. All we can do is decide where to go from here."
"I'm going to Boston." Katsu stood up and looked up at him. "Come. Come with me for a few days. You said you're not getting anywhere with your Mundie. She probably won't even miss you."
Bruin shook his head. "I can't."
"Why? Is your leash that short? I need you."
"I am sorry. I wish I could. I just can't."
She kissed his cheek, her hand lingering on his chest. "Think about it, Bear. I'll grab a bag and fill out the paperwork at the Gatehouse. If you change your mind, you know how to find me."
My vision blurred and I forced myself to stop looking. I blinked fast and whispered, "Thank you, I've heard enough."
As the wind left me, the breeze blew back toward the trellis. I gasped. My scent.
Leaving Faolan behind, I ducked behind the hedge and bolted toward the house. Guaranteed my scent would blow back to him and he'd know I was spying. I ran on the balls of my feet trying not to let my shoes click on the cobblestone of the courtyard. I bolted through the back-patio door and dashed into the empty lounge. After a quick over-the-shoulder, I wiped my eyes and exhaled. No sign of anyone behind me.
Scurrying along the hall, I headed away from the usual flow of traffic.
Down the back stairs, my feet flew in a rhythmic patter; down another flight to the next landing. The carpeted corridor of the sub-basement stretched silently before me and I hustled along until I came to an open door. I stumbled inside and down the short dark passageway into a cavernous black room. Home theatre. Somewhere in the back
of my mind I marveled at how cool it was to have a cinema-sized theatre in the basement of a home.
Climbing the staggered tiers of steps to the back row, I collapsed into the middle seat and buried my face in my hands. Shit. I knew I couldn't trust this fairy tale.
Nobody gets chosen by the gods to live happily ever after. Stupid. Sooo stupid.
"Mika?"
I gasped and launched out of my seat, grabbing my chest. "How'd you . . . never mind. What do you want, Bruin?"
"To explain what you saw."
And heard. "Don't bother. I get it."
"Do you? Katsu's a friend and a colleague. She's going through a—"
I threw up my hand. "Don't. Please don't expect me to sympathize with her."
"Let me explain—"
I shook my head, swallowing past the lump in my throat. "You should go. You know . . . to Boston. I think it's best if we keep our distance."
"How do you know about Boston?"
I winced. Shit. "I heard the two of you talking. You should go. Despite what she said, there is no leash. I don't want you tied to me. Go to Boston."
"But I want to stay here with you. I want this. I want us."
"There is no us!" I sank back into my chair, my sobs catching in my chest. I turned my palm to him. "Love doesn't happen like this. The Fates can't make you feel something you don't. I'm tired Bruin. Just. Go."
The room fell silent and my heart broke wide open. I thought he'd gone, so I jumped when he spoke a few minutes later. "What happened to you? Who hurt you so badly that you can't trust in love? Who made you hate men?"
I scowled, swiping beneath my eyes. "I don't hate men. I'm fond of men. Tall. Good looking. Adventurous. I enjoy men—I just don't need one to complete me. I complete me just fine."
"But I want—"
"Go," I sobbed, shaking my head. "I can't take it. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of listening to your lies of love. I'm sick of everyone knowing more about my life than me. And I'm sick of you following me around like a stray dog hoping for me to take you home. I want out. GO!"
His eyes glowed cold in the darkness. Two icy turquoise stars that could cut glass. "I'm sorry that me trying to love you has been such a burden." His husky timbre quivered as he turned away. "Trust me. It won't happen again. Consider yourself out."
He Flashed. Left alone in the darkness, my brand sizzled worse than ever. I wanted it all to stop. I wanted to go home. I wanted my own bed with just me and Orville curled up with my laptop and a package of Pop-Tarts. I wanted to call Meg or Paige or any one of my girls to vent until any of this made sense.
I don't know how long I cried, there, alone in my misery. An hour? Two? Ten?
When my tears dried up and my breathing evened out, I headed upstairs. My head pounded like thunder and my eyes burned. My gut rolled at the thought of meeting up with anyone. Sympathy was not my friend. Eyes on the ground and hands tucked in my pockets, I trudged heavy-hearted all the way back to the main foyer.
If I could make it to the stairs, I'd be home free.
Deep male voices carried from the lounge, followed by a smack, roll and clunk of billiard balls. Those open double doors stood between me and the main staircase, and the odds of making it upstairs without running into anyone were practically nil. Stepping over to one of the main floor powder rooms, I decided to splash cold water on my face and assess the damage. When I reached for the handle, the door opened inward.
"Fabulous," a tiny voice said. I lifted my gaze and sighed as I was sized up by two cold amethyst eyes.
"Lexi." I moved aside. Ironic that even though I was taller than her—and that never happened—she didn't seem to notice. She exuded a lethal hostility that in no way matched her size. "Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in there."
"Whatever." She flicked her hair and pushed past me.
Her elbow glanced my ribs and my temper flared. "I'm so not in the mood for your bullshit today."
"You're assuming I care?"
On a normal day, in my normal life, I would have let it go. I may be stubborn but I didn't consider myself outwardly difficult. This, however, was not that day. Trapped in a fantasy realm with the hormones of a horny, emotional grizzly raging through me, my hand stinging like I'd dunked it in blazing nettles and my supposed other half spending his time hiding away with his ex in the garden . . . enough was enough.
"What is your problem, Lexi? Is it that I blocked you in the cave or that I haven't swooned and fallen into Bruin's arms? Either way, I'm done with your tantrums, Princess. If you've got something to say, spit it out or fuck off."
Lexi laughed. Her gaze hardened until it pierced me, icy to the marrow of my bone. "Bruin told me if I have nothing nice to say, shut the hell up, so I guess I have nothing to say."
"Well, Bruin's not here now, is he?"
Lexi's eyes widened as a grin spread across her face. "You sure you want to do this?"
"Bring it."
"All right, Mundie." She stepped in close and looked up at me. "You are nothing but a stupid human who doesn't know what it is to live in our world. A spoiled prima donna who thinks your wants and needs are more important than those of anyone else."
Being called a prima donna by her left a bitter taste in my mouth. "Well, Princess, take a look in the mirror. Are you sure this is about me or are you worried about sharing Bruin's attention?" As her eyes flared I leaned over her. "Jealous much?"
Lexi crossed her arms over her chest and absently played with the bear claw pendant she wore. Staring at me she laughed. "A week here and you think you know about Bruin and his life? You have no idea who the man is and you certainly can't comprehend all the reasons you're not good enough for him."
"Well, the Fates of your world seem to think I am."
Lexi laughed even harder. "The Fates are meddling twits who screw around with lives for their own perverse amusement. They don't give two shits about who belongs together. You're nothing but an experiment to amuse them, a fatal attraction for them to watch crumble for shits and giggles. The sad thing is . . . Bruin actually wants you."
Now it was my turn to laugh. "Yeah, well, that's hard to believe after watching him canoodle with his ex under the trellis."
"Liar." That touched a nerve.
"Yep, he's a man of honor all right. Talking love and devotion to two women at a time . . . maybe that's where he Flashes at night when he's not with me."
She lunged. Despite her size, she hit me with the force of a semi-truck and we crashed backward onto the marble floor. She grabbed a fistful of my hair and cracked my head against the floor. Black spots clouded my vision as the wind hissed out of my lungs.
Damn, she’s stronger than she looks.
I sucked in what oxygen I could and let my grizzly rage fly. All my frustration. All my aggression. Over and over we flipped. Elbows, fists and knees. I didn't hold back.
She didn't either.
When I thought she would kick my ass, a surge of stubborn anger erupted. I had the momentary satisfaction of seeing her eyes pop wide as I bared my teeth. Like a caged animal, I swiped at her arms, my nails digging into her flesh.
"Get off me, bitch," I growled, flinging my elbow as she leaned forward. I smiled as her head snapped back and a spray of blood flew through the air.
In the next instant, the weight of her straddling me lifted and I was dragged to my feet like a rag doll. We'd gathered quite a crowd. The majority of the Talon looked amused. Galan and Tham looked horrified.
"I believe we'll call that a draw, ladies." Reign had one arm around Lexi's waist, holding her back from getting a second round at me.
I craned my neck and looked over my shoulder into the coal-black eyes of Savage. His mouth twitched in a snarl, making his lip piercings glint in the light. He raised a tattooed brow.
I nodded. "I'm good."
He let go.
The weight of the day washed over me, the cave, the trouble in Vancouver, the scene in the garden, the fight in the cinema and the cherry on top—m
y melon doing a slam-dunk into the marble tiles. I swallowed past the cold sweat washing over me and fought the urge to vomit in front of everyone.
The prattle of people talking surrounded me but I wasn't tracking. My hands were shaking . . . bad. The salty iron taste of blood filled my mouth and my stomach flip-flopped like a fish out of water. Touching my lip, I felt for the gash and my fingers came away crimson.
"If you'll excuse me," I said to no one in particular, "I'd like to clean up."
I took a tentative step toward the washroom. When all I got back from my limbs were a few creaks and a couple aches, I stepped up the pace.
How long did I stay in that six-by-eight room? Could have been minutes, could have been hours. Luckily, I'd skipped supper, so nothing to expel. I washed the blood off my face and from under my tender nail beds. Were they sore from the fight or the hormones? Would I even know what normal felt like if I ever got back to it?
Taking inventory of the damage in the antique mirror, I straightened myself and loitered long enough to be sure the rubberneckers and Fight Club fans had moved on. My vision and focus were blinking like faulty Christmas lights and I was pretty sure, given the throbbing in my cranium, that my grey matter was about to start oozing out of my ears.
Cracking the door an inch and peeking out would be childish, so I swung the thing open and did a hi-how-are-ya. Sweet. The coast was clear. I headed to the main staircase, grabbed the post and swung up the first few steps on a gimpy jog.
"Hey."
My heart kicked almost out of my chest for the second time this afternoon. People really had to stop testing my ticker like that. Sitting on the first landing in worn blue jeans, bare feet and a cotton blouse, Jade looked pale and weary.
"You scared me," I said. "What are you doing sitting here all alone?"
"I heard I missed a hell of a throw down. Thought I'd check that you're all right." She studied me up and down, pausing on the points of highlight. "That's one ugly lip you're nursing."
My fingers grazed over the damage. I continued up the wide steps and passed her. "I'll live. Thanks though. I appreciate the thought."