She broke the kiss, turning her head away just a fraction. “Rem.”
He waited, wondering what it was that she couldn’t accept about them.
“This is just too much. I’m not sure if this is us now or us trying to find something we left behind.”
“Maybe what this is, Sam, is unfinished business. We left something behind that was meant to be and we’re finding it again.”
“Picking up where we left off?” She moved her hand from his neck to his cheek. “I’m not sure it works that way. I don’t think you can take a summer romance between two kids and make it into something that lasts.”
“I’m not sure why that wouldn’t work.”
She scraped her fingers across the day’s growth of whiskers that covered his cheeks. That gesture made him want to kiss her again.
“Rem, just the fact that you can say that is proof that we’re two different people. You believe anything can happen. I question why it would.”
“What if you step to my side of the fence and try optimism?” He glanced at his watch. “It’s Sunday. That means we’ve made it another day in the twenty-one-day challenge. Seventeen days until I’m a new habit you’ve formed.”
He kissed her again before she could protest. He smiled into her lips and felt her return the gesture before she pulled away.
“That isn’t fair,” she charged, with a twinkle in her blue eyes.
“Maybe not, but I’m determined to have you for my princess.”
“So now you’re Prince Charming?”
“Yeah, for this situation, you can call me Prince Charming. I’m here to take you away from your normal life.” He laughed. “I can’t believe you have me talking in fairy tales. It isn’t right. I’m going to break a horse tomorrow. The meanest horse I can find.”
“To ensure you still have your man card?”
“Yes. And once I prove that to myself, I’m going to take you to dinner.”
“I work tomorrow evening.”
“Are you coming to church in the morning?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not. I don’t want people in your church to start thinking we’re a couple. They’ll expect me to bring casseroles and make visits with you.”
“Would it be so bad, us as a couple?”
She glanced away from him, biting her bottom lip as she studied the night sky. “I know who I am, Rem. I’m broken. I’m flawed. I couldn’t stand next to you and pretend I’m anything more than a person who has made mistakes.”
“We’re all broken and flawed, Sam. That’s the beauty of it. We don’t have to be perfect.”
“No, of course not.” And she managed to sound as if she truly meant it. But he saw the shadow of doubt flicker through her eyes.
He opened the truck door for her because it was time for him to invoke his constitutional rights. The right to remain silent. Because when he pictured his future, he pictured her next to him.
Even if it meant burned casseroles.
Chapter Fourteen
Samantha ran a hose to the water trough and stared out over the field, still half-asleep from her late night at the hospital with Remington. Buzz wandered up and stuck his nose in the water, swishing gently and then pushing his face directly into the stream of water. He lifted his head and blew, showing his teeth in a big horse grin.
His antics made her smile. “You, sir, are nuts.”
She shoved the hose down into the trough and went inside the barn to check on Lady and her puppies. She leaned over the door of the stall and watched as the mamma dog played with her pups, nudging and then running around them so that they barked and tried to chase her.
What in the world was she going to do with a dog and nine puppies?
“We’ll have to find your puppies new and very loving homes, Lady. But you I have plans for.” The dog moved to push her head against Samantha’s outstretched arm. “I think you would make a very fine pet-therapy animal. Your big eyes and long, floppy ears make you especially sweet.”
Lady looked up at her with those big, sad eyes and Samantha felt her mouth tug in response. “See, you even make me happier.”
When she walked outside to turn off the water, Brody was pulling up. Grace and their baby girl, Bria, were with him. She headed for their truck. When she got there, she leaned in the passenger window to catch a glimpse of her niece in her car seat.
“What are you all up to today?” Samantha asked as she opened the rear passenger door of the extended cab truck.
A glimpse of that baby girl through the window just wasn’t enough. Bria had the same effect on a person as Lady. Maybe more. Samantha sat down on the edge of the seat, and made faces that a person only makes when speaking to infants.
“We’re on our way to church.” Brody turned in his seat. “We thought we’d see if you want to go. We’re having dinner at Breezy and Jake’s after.”
“I was up late. I don’t think...”
Brody cut her off. “Sam, we’re a family. We’ve all given you space. But it’s time for you to join in. We have dinner as a family on Sundays. We’re not kids anymore.”
“No, you’re not,” she agreed.
“Then come and find your place in the family.” Brody started the truck. “You might want to close that door.”
“What?”
“We’re going to church,” he said as he shifted into Reverse.
“Brody, not this way,” Grace chided, the sweet voice of reason.
“I’m not going to church like this.” She pointed to the faded jeans and canvas sneakers she’d worn to the barn.
“If I let you run in and change, you won’t go to church at all.”
“I think most people believe in free will, Brody.”
“I’m not talking about church. Your faith is up to you. I’m tired of playing this game. It’s time to take your place in this family. We’re all in this together, the four of us.”
“Five. Don’t forget Kayla.”
He laughed. “How could anyone forget Kayla? She was on the news last night. She led the police in Austin on a low-speed chase.”
“She’s just trying to rile her dad,” Samantha defended.
“Right. But today isn’t about Kayla Stanford. Today is about the Martins, and you.”
“I have to work this afternoon,” she said, then leaned in to blow on Bria’s sweet cheeks. The baby giggled. Samantha glanced up and smiled at Brody. “I’ll go to church. I’m not going to miss out on any more of my family. There are all of these sweet babies and I want to be the best aunt ever.”
“Close the door, then.”
“I’ll drive myself. Rem invited me to Countryside.” She got out of the truck and closed the door carefully, and then moved over to speak to her brother and his wife. “Grace, I don’t know how you put up with him.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without him,” Grace answered.
“Blech.” Samantha made a face. “I’ll see you all later.”
Brody didn’t put the truck in Reverse. “We’ll just join you at Countryside.”
“Fine, I’ll meet you there.”
And she kept her word. She walked through the doors of the little country church as the pianist began to pound out a song that sounded something like “The Old Rugged Cross.” People were singing loud and a few were clapping. Her gaze drifted from the piano to the stage to Remington. As she found a seat on a back pew, she asked herself what it would be like, to allow herself to love him and to be loved by him. When the congregation changed to a new song she tried to join in but her heart got tripped up, wondering if she could survive losing him again.
It was a silly thought, because she knew it was already too late. She was already knee-deep in this situation, already falling. Or maybe her heart had taken up where
it left off ten summers ago. Whatever the case, she already knew he could hurt her. She’d known it all along.
The music ended. Remington stood, clipping a mic to his collar, smiling at the congregation. She pushed aside all of the other thoughts swirling around in her head to focus on his words. As he talked about faith, about doubts, she realized he belonged in this place, in this church.
She could see it in his words, in his expression and in the way the people filling the pews listened. If a man truly had a calling, it was this one.
After the service ended, she found Brody and Grace, Bria asleep in her daddy’s arms. They stood up and were gathering their belongings when she approached.
“You could have sat with us,” Brody said as he slung the strap of the pink backpack over his shoulder. She smiled a little and he quirked one brow. “What?”
“Nothing. Pink looks good on you.”
Brody shook his head. “Thanks. I bought it because it matches my eyes.”
“Sam.” Remington appeared at her side. “I thought I might introduce you to a few people.”
She shook her head. “I have to go. I’m expected at lunch. But thank you.”
“Chicken?” he teased as he stepped close, letting people walk past.
“Not at all.”
He opened his mouth to say more, no doubt to tease, but an older gentleman approached, tapping him on the shoulder. “Pastor, we were wondering if we could have a quick meeting with you.”
“Of course, Jerry. Anything in particular?” Remington glanced at his watch. “How long will it take so I can let Gus and Lee know?”
“It shouldn’t take that long. We just wanted to have a last-minute discussion on the help we’re giving to the family that lost their home to fire.”
“I’ll be right there.” And then he refocused on Sam. “Sixteen days to go, Sam.”
She had started to walk away, but she stopped. “Rem, take care of your church and your family.”
“I’m a great multitasker,” he assured her as he walked away.
Outside the sun was bright and warm. People were talking in small groups. A few of them she knew and she waved or nodded a greeting. She ignored the ones who studied her as if she were a bug under a microscope. She bristled under their scrutiny and knew that later she would be topic number one at lunch. “Wasn’t she the one...” is how the conversations would begin.
She told herself it didn’t matter. What mattered more was who she had become. She wondered why people never thought about that. Why didn’t they think about her reasons for doing the things she’d done? Why hadn’t any of them stepped in to help her, to guide her, to figure out what was wrong? Instead, they’d waited until her proverbial train went off the tracks, and then they’d all had something to say.
Grace gave her a cautious look. “Are you okay?”
“Of course I am,” Sam said.
“For a minute there, you looked like a storm cloud bearing down on us.”
She smiled at her sister-in-law. “There might have been a storm-cloud moment. And really, it isn’t fair to these people. No one likes to be judged and I’m judging them for the people in my past.”
“Church is hard, isn’t it?” Grace said in sympathy. “It’s the place where we should be loved, forgiven, nurtured. It’s a place of mercy. But sometimes it isn’t. We just have to remember that people are human and they bring all of their human frailties with them to church.”
Sam hugged Grace, taking herself and her sister-in-law by surprise. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Brody had been busy buckling Bria into the back of the truck and he returned, glancing at his watch as he did. “Ready to go, ladies?”
“Yes, I’ll meet you there. I’m going to stop by my place, and then head over to Jake and Breezy’s.”
“You’re not backing out on us?” Brody questioned.
“I’m not backing out. But I am going to get my work clothes because I’ll have to leave directly from there.”
“Thirty minutes and I’m coming after you,” Brody warned as he pulled keys from his pocket.
She kissed his cheek. “You know you’re my favorite, right?”
“I’m everyone’s favorite.”
She kept her word. Not just because she knew Brody would come get her if she tried to skip out, but because she wanted a big family lunch. She wanted to spend time with her little nieces and the nephew Duke and Oregon had brought into the family. She wanted to hear more about the two children they were hoping to adopt in the near future.
As she parked in Jake’s driveway, another truck pulled up. One she recognized immediately. Remington nodded his head as he got out. He reached into the back of the truck and pulled out a wheelchair.
She got out of her truck and watched as he lifted Parker from the back of the truck and situated the boy in his chair. Lee got out next. Gus was getting out on the front passenger side, pulling on his bent-up hat as he did.
“Samantha, guess what!”
“What?” she asked as Parker headed her way.
She glanced from the boy to Remington, who was coming up behind him, giving him a push to get on the sidewalk. It was a mistake, that look in his direction. He made a girl feel the need to go right back to church and pray against temptation. He was all cowboyed up in jeans that hung easy on his hips, boots and a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, exposing darkly tanned forearms. She raised her gaze to meet his and he winked.
“How’re you doing, Sammy?” he asked as he helped Parker on his way up the sidewalk.
A growl is not an appropriate response to a greeting. She remembered Duke telling her that when she was five and they took her to church. So she smiled sweetly at Remington and she didn’t growl.
“I’m good, Remington.” She squatted in front of Parker. “So, you told me to guess, but the only thing I can think of is that Remington really does have two heads—he just keeps one hidden inside his shirt!”
Parker laughed and laughed. Remington did a fake laugh. “Ha, ha.”
“No,” Parker finally said. “But he let me ride a horse.”
“Ride a horse!” She shot Remington a look.
“He’s nine and he loves to ride a horse.”
“I rode in front of him and he even had special cuffs made for my legs since he’s using the stirrups,” Parker said joyfully.
“Well, that sounds like a lot of fun.” She swallowed all of the reasons why it was a bad idea. When a little boy looked this happy, an adult didn’t need to ruin it. Not in front of him.
“It was fun. We rode all over the place.”
She ruffled her fingers through his dark hair. “You’re my favorite cowboy, Parker. Now what do you say we head on in and see what Breezy has cooked up.”
“I hope she has some of Duke’s chocolate cream pie in there,” Gus said as he joined them, walking a little slower than he had a few weeks ago. “I’m about ready to sit down with coffee and pie. Forget all the stuff that’s good for us.”
“Gus,” his sister warned. “Be a good influence.”
“Too late for that,” Gus muttered. “I’ve been a bad influence most of my life, and I don’t know how to change that any more than I know how to start eating vegetables.”
Together they all headed inside where Lilly met them. After a cheerful hello she took control of Parker, pushing him off in the direction of the family room. Gus and Lee departed without looking back.
Sam was left alone with Remington.
She started to walk away, but he caught hold of her arm.
“Are you okay?” Remington asked.
“Okay about what?”
“With us being here?”
“Of course,” she answered, probably too quickly. “I’m glad you�
��re here. And now, I want to join my family for a Sunday lunch.”
She slipped her hand into the pocket of the scrubs she’d changed into at her place. “I brought you something.”
She handed him a letter from Tennessee.
“Is this what I think it is?”
“Marlie just turned nine. They sent a letter and pictures.”
He held the envelope in one hand and pulled her close with the other. “I’m sorry. You’ve had nine years of doing this alone. I should have been there.”
Yes, he should have been. But she couldn’t say that. She couldn’t drop accusations when it hadn’t really been his fault that he hadn’t known.
“I’m fine, Rem. As I get older, the letters get easier to read. She’s a funny girl with a big heart. She loves horses and art. They included a drawing to us from her.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you had this?” He looked hurt. He looked a little bit angry.
“I’m sorry, Rem. These letters are something I’ve done alone for so long.”
“Yes, these letters and everything else. When will you begin to let people in? When will you realize it’s okay to lean on someone?”
“I’m working on that. I am.” She blinked against the sting of tears that his words had incited. “We should join them before they send someone looking for us.”
“Yeah, of course. But later?”
Later. She knew what he meant. He wanted to talk. To delve further into the past and get things out in the open where they could examine each little detail of their lives. He was one of those people, the kind not willing to leave well enough alone.
Jake and Breezy’s house was chaos. There were children running amok, adults arguing about baseball and who would win the bull-riding world finals come October. She stood in the living room for a minute, that room with its stone floors, wood walls and massive stone fireplace. She let her gaze travel from Jake, sitting on the edge of a chair watching bull riding, to Brody holding Bria and acting as if the sport had never been a part of his life. Gus sat in a nearby rocking chair making raspberry noises at the baby, playing peekaboo with her so that she laughed.
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