Mary smiled. "Sounds good."
"Excuse me," Phos said as he came over to them. "I'm so sorry to intrude, Mrs. Phan. But can Mary come with me for a minute? I won't keep her long."
"Of course," Ba said. "Go on. Have some fun."
Phos took Mary's hand. "Come on. I want to show you something."
She walked with him into the house and up the stairs to Carter's bedroom. It was larger than Mary's living room and had a massive bathroom to the side. Posters of famous basketball players adorned the walls.
Phos opened the window.
"What are you doing?" Mary asked.
"In case someone comes looking for us," he said. Then he took her in his arms and translated.
At that instant, they were in the middle of the roof. It wasn't as easy to walk around like the apartment's flat roof, so Phos helped her up one of the pitches. They made sure that no one below could see them.
"Okay," she laughed. "Now what?"
He smiled and gestured behind her. "Look."
She turned. "Oh. Wow."
The Maxwells' house was situated on a large hill, and from the roof, Mary could see the city lights sprawled below. It looked like Christmas scattered on the ground. She could see the bridges and make out the buildings of downtown.
"It's like Paris," she breathed. "I've lived here all my life and never knew it looked like this. It's beautiful."
"You don't have to go far to be in an amazing place." Phos turned to her. "Mary, there was also something I wanted to tell you. Without anyone else hearing."
"What is it?" she asked.
"Do you remember when you asked me if I had experienced love?"
She nodded. "You said it didn't make sense to you."
"Yes. But I think I understand it now." He looked out at the city lights. "I believe it's not an emotion. It's so much more than simply showing affection. It also seems to require a lot of suffering."
Mary's hand went to her scar unconsciously. "I can see that. But it's suffering for the sake of others."
He nodded. "That's what I didn't understand before. Love is antithetical to human nature. Humans seek their own good. Their own survival. Their own glorification. But love seeks the good of the other, even to the detriment of the self. Even to the detriment of others." He turned to face Mary. "It's why I saved you that day. Even before taking over Carter's body and having his emotions. Maybe it's because I have watched you for so long. I don't know. But somehow, some way, I had fallen in love with y—"
Mary kissed him, not letting him finish. He took her face in his warm hands and kissed her back. And again. And again, not letting her go after their three-second rule. Mary felt her mouth burning, but she didn't care.
It was the voices just below them that finally made them stop. Quietly, they tiptoed to the edge of the roof and looked over to see Mom and Carter's parents talking away from the others.
"When Marcos and Linda called us about that accident, we chartered the first plane straight out of Dubai," Mrs. Maxwell said. "We were wrecks the entire flight home."
"I can imagine," Mom said.
"But we were ecstatic when we landed and found Carter sitting up in bed and able to talk," Mr. Maxwell said. "I knew it would take some time for him to recover, so I actually cancelled my travel appointments for a month. But talk about a lightning quick recovery! I've never been one to believe in miracles. But I've changed my mind."
"And he hasn't been the same since," Mrs. Maxwell said. "He holds doors for people. Says 'thank you' and 'please.' Addresses people with 'sir' or 'ma'am.'"
"He's actually good to Eva," Carter's dad said. "For years, he hardly acknowledged her existence. But now he hugs her when he sees her and talks to her kindly. It's like…like having a real family again."
"And he speaks so well of Mary," said Mrs. Maxwell. "He never used to talk about any of his girlfriends before. But since they started dating, he's asked me things like when would be a good time for him to ask her to hold his hand or if he should wear a suit and tie when taking her to dinner. She's such a sweet girl. You must be very proud of her."
Mary could hear the smile in her mother's voice. "I am. Thank you."
Mary smiled as well.
"Has anyone seen Carter?" they heard Raj call from the main party area. "We're ready for him to blow out his candles."
"I guess we should get back down there," Phos said. He translated them to his room, where he closed the window before going downstairs with Mary. They found that the buffet trays had been cleared and replaced with a giant cake and sparkling candles.
Mr. Maxwell smiled and put his hand on Phos' shoulder. "Make a wish, son."
Phos looked at him. Then at each person there, lastly fixing his eyes on Mary. He smiled. "I don't need to. I've gotten it already." And he blew out the candles.
Back to Table of Contents
- 24 -
Bad Day
"Where would you like to go this afternoon?" Phos asked after school the next day.
Mary thought for a moment. "Actually, I'd like to go see Ba. I told her that I'd take her shopping."
"That sounds like a good idea," he said. "May I come along?"
She laughed. "Of course."
When they arrived at Agape, they didn't find Ba in the courtyard. She wasn't in the reading room, the dining room, or in the lounge. Emma was reading her Bible at a table, and Julia sat next to her playing Solitaire.
"Have either of you seen my grandmother today?" Mary asked.
They shook their heads. "We didn't see her at breakfast or lunch," Emma said. "I think she's been in her room all day."
"That's weird," Mary said.
She and Phos took the elevator up. Mary squeezed his hand.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
"I really hope not," she said. But dark thoughts plagued at her, and some of them were her greatest fears. She knew one of them would come some day. Ba wasn't young. Mary hoped that she would live into her 90s, like Mr. and Mrs. Penny. Maybe even her hundreds, since she was physically very healthy. But people even younger than Ba passed away all the time.
Mary's second fear was not as awful as the first, but it was still bad. If Ba hadn't come to meet them, and she hadn't passed away, then it meant she was having a bad day.
The elevator doors opened, and they walked to Ba's suite. The door was open, and they heard her yelling. "I don't like pills! I feel fine. I don't need them."
Inside, they found Ba sitting on the edge of her bed with her back to them. Her long hair dangled freely past her waist in tangled strands. Two nurses, including Ms. Nancy, tried to coax her to take some medication.
"Please, Mrs. Phan," Ms. Nancy said. "Calm down."
"Why am I here?" Ba asked. "Where's my husband? Where's Jean-Marc?"
"Ba?" Mary asked.
Ba turned around and stared at her for a moment. Her brow wrinkled. "Who are you?"
Mary gulped. "It's me. Mary. Your granddaughter."
"Don't be silly," Ba said. "You're not my Mary. You're too old. Mary's a little girl."
Ms. Nancy came to meet Mary and Phos at the door. "I'm so sorry, Mary, but can you and Carter please wait out in the hall?"
"What's wrong?" Mary asked. "Was she given her medication on time?"
"Who is she?" Ba asked frantically. "Why is she calling me Ba? She's not my granddaughter. She's too old! Mary's only seven years old."
"Please, Mary," Ms. Nancy said and shut the door.
Mary could hear Ba screaming on the other side. "Ba!" Mary started to open the door again.
Phos put his hands on hers. "Wait."
"What do you mean wait?" she cried. "They're hurting her!"
He shook his head. "They're trying to help her. Let's do as she said and wait."
She stared at him like he was speaking a foreign language to her.
Phos took her hands from the doorknob. "We can wait right here. Okay?"
Mary said nothing. Finally, she nodded.
T
hey sat on the floor in the hall. Mary hated to see Ba like this. Tears started making their way from her tiny tear ducts.
A few minutes later, Ms. Nancy opened the door. "You can come in, now."
Cautiously, Mary and Phos walked into the room. Ba was lying quietly on her bed now. Her eyes were heavy and not looking at anything in particular.
"We had to give her a sedative," Ms. Nancy explained.
Mary stared at her. "Can I stay here with her?"
Ms. Nancy nodded. "She'll be like this for a while. Maybe even past bedtime. Of course, call if you need one of us."
The nurses left, and Mary turned back to Ba. She took her hand. She felt fragile, and she looked so out of it.
"She's like this because of me," Mary said.
"What do you mean?" Phos asked.
"I heard a long time ago that people with Alzheimer's need routine," she said. "It helps them keep their memories longer. I've been visiting her almost everyday since she's been here. But I stopped coming regularly."
Phos looked down. "When you started seeing me?"
A tear trickled down Mary's face. She wiped it away with her sleeve. "Can you do something for her? Like you did for that kid at the hospital. Can you help my grandmother?"
"I wish I could," he said. "I would cure her in a heartbeat. But I don't know how."
"What about Mayim?" Mary asked. "Or maybe another radiant? Someone who has the right energy for this kind of thing?"
"I'm sorry," he said. "The human mind is so…complex. Your memories are so fragile."
Mary looked at Ba again.
"Mary?" Phos asked. He put his hand on her shoulder gently.
She shrugged it off, pretending to push her hair behind her ear. "Um, is it okay if I just spend some time with her alone? I just…I need to be alone for a bit."
Phos nodded. "Of course."
After he left, Mary lay on the bed next to Ba, still holding her hand.
"I'm here, Ba," she whispered. "I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere."
Back to Table of Contents
- 25 -
Watched
Mary,
I've sent you, like, a million emails. Where are you? Did the you-know-what get to you too? Kinda freaking out over here. Call or email ASAP.
- Drew
Mary sighed and opened a blank email.
Drew,
Sorry. I'm fine. Some family stuff came up. I'll get in touch with you as soon as I can.
- Mary
Hopefully, that would keep him off her back for a little while longer.
Phos missed school the next couple of days. Mary had heard from the news that a comet was supposed to be making an annual flyby. Meteor showers were expected as the Earth passed through the comet's trail of debris, so that was probably keeping him busy.
Mary actually welcomed the Phos-less days. That day of Ba's latest episode, Mary had stayed at Agape all the way until bedtime. She saw Ba the next day and she was fine, but the episode still bothered Mary, and she didn't feel like seeing him again right away.
At lunchtime, Sienna came into the Art room. "So this is where you hide out."
Mary began peeling her orange. "Hi Sienna."
She sat down across from Mary. "Where's Carter?"
Mary shrugged. "He has stuff to do, I guess."
Sienna narrowed her eyes. "Are you okay? Is something going on with you two?"
Mary wrinkled her brow. "No. Why?"
"Well, you two seemed fine at the party. But now he isn't here, and you were pretty down in Art class," Sienna said.
"It's nothing," Mary said.
Sienna sighed. "Okay, remember that accountability thing you asked me about? You're not quite scary, but even a blind hamster can see that something's bothering you."
Mary looked at her. "I think you mean three blind mice."
"Whatever. The point is I'm worried about you," Sienna said. "I just wanna know if you need any help. And I promise I won't blab your business to anyone. Not even David. Scout's honor."
Mary said nothing for a moment. Then, she sighed. "It's sorta about Ph—Carter. But it's not his fault. It's mine." She told Sienna about the episode at Agape.
"Wow, I didn't know your grandma was in a nursing home," Sienna said.
"It's a retirement home," Mary clarified. She looked down at her peeled but uneaten orange. "I feel like I failed her. I thought if I saw her often, she would remember longer. The hardest part is when she doesn't remember me, except when I was little. What's it going to be like when she doesn't remember me at all?"
Sienna remained silent for a second. "So, what does this have to do with Carter?"
"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Mary asked. "I totally ditched my grandmother for him. I'm such a horrible person!"
"No you didn't, and no you're not," Sienna said. "Listen, I'm about to sound like the shallowest person on the face of the earth right now, but you can't control your grandma's disease. You don't make it any better or any worse. And you visit her a lot. I only see my grandma once a year, and that feels like too much. She always tells me I need to lose weight."
"Really?" Mary asked. Sienna had curves, but she was far from fat.
"Yeah. I don't know if it's a Brazilian thing, but she tells me it every year," Sienna said. "One day, your grandma isn't going to remember anything. Hopefully it's still a while a way, but it's coming and there's nothing you can do about it. So, there's no use feeling bad about something you can't control. You just have to enjoy how things are now."
Mary looked down. "Maybe you're right."
"No, I am right," Sienna said. "And it's not like you gotta choose between hanging with Carter and hanging with your grandma. You can do both."
Phos liked going with Mary to Agape and spending time with Ba. And Ba liked him.
"You're right," Mary said. "I guess I kinda got shook up. Thanks Sienna."
She smiled. "Any time. Well, I'm gonna find David before lunch is over. Later."
***
Phos wasn't back in school for the rest of the week. The news said that the Earth was past the comet trail, so Mary figured he wouldn't be busy with that anymore. She started to worry.
One night, while she was dozing on the roof, Mary woke with the touch of blazing lips on hers.
She smiled. "About time you showed up."
"My apologies," Phos said.
Mary sat up. "Where have you been? You missed a lot of school."
He looked down.
"Phos?" she asked. "What's wrong?"
He didn't answer right away. Finally, he met her eyes. "I'm being watched."
"Watched?" she asked.
He nodded.
Mary stared at him for a moment. Then she asked, "You mean by radiants? By others of your kind?"
He nodded again.
"Is that a bad thing?" she asked. "Mayim seemed pretty cool."
"These are not like Mayim," he said. "These are like judges. Their job is to keep order in the universe."
Mary still didn't see how this was bad.
Phos sighed. "Do you remember the boy at the hospital?"
She nodded. "The one you healed."
"Do you know that he doesn't remember you? Or me?" he asked.
She recalled Mom telling her about that not long after Scotty was released. "Yeah."
"That's because a judge came to him," he explained. "His memory of you and me was taken."
Mary stared at him.
"Humans aren't supposed to know we exist," he said. "That is one way the judges keep order."
"But you said that radiants can't mess with people's brains," she said. "Like my grandmother. Remember when I asked you if you can help her?"
"This is not the same thing," he said. "These radiants aren't like me. Or Mayim. We are supposed to protect you and help you. But we are not supposed to be with you. That's why we have laws. I haven't been in school and I haven't come to see you because I'm trying to keep them from finding out about you."
> "What would happen if they did?" she asked.
"They would do the same as they did to Scotty," he answered.
Mary turned a shade paler. "They'd take my memories of you?"
He nodded.
"All of them?"
He nodded again. "It will be as if we never met."
Mary felt like someone had dropped a piano on her. "They can't do that!"
"Yes, they can," he said. "That is their job."
Mary felt a tear roll down her face. They were coming more easily since the rodeo. "Please don't let them."
He wiped away her tear and held her face in his hand. "I'll do what I can. But I may not be able to come to you as frequently."
Mary nodded. "But right now you're okay?"
"Yes."
"Good." She leaned forward and kissed him. Fortunately, she had a good coat of lip balm on, so he didn't burn her as much. Mary wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him onto the lounge chair with her.
"I think we better stop," he finally said.
"Why?"
"All of this is turning red," he said, pointing to her mouth, jawline, and a good portion of her throat. "And the more I kiss you, the harder it is for me to keep alert."
She sighed. "Okay. But can you still stay for a little while? I haven't seen you in days."
He smiled. "Yes. I can stay."
She curled up in his arms. Surrounded by his warmth, it was only a matter of minutes before Mary fell asleep again.
Back to Table of Contents
- 26 -
Ultimatum
Mary woke. The sun hadn't quite come up yet, and she found that she was still on the roof in Phos' arms. His eyes were closed, and his chest rose and fell lightly with his shallow breathing. Mary smiled and stared at him, reaching up gently to trace the line of his face and lips with her fingertips. He didn't stir, and she wondered if he had finally learned how to dream.
"A-hem."
Mary looked up. Mom was standing by the door with her arms crossed.
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