by Sara Snow
I totally understood the way she was feeling. I’d felt the same way not too long ago. But I’d been angry at myself, furious that I’d been too weak to save her and Ms. Clementine. I hadn't been strong enough, and Skye had almost literally slipped out of my hand.
However, Skye had been forced to watch something that would leave her with a wound that might never fully heal. I knew, deep down, that I’d done all I could to save her the night they took her, and Skye had answered their questions, doing all she could to save her mother, not guessing that they’d kill her mother anyway.
“We’ll find him,” I told her, nodding my head once with finality.
Skye took a deep breath, not looking quite as defeated as she’d seemed when I first entered the room. If avenging her mother’s death gave her a purpose and a reason to heal and get her strength back, I was all for it.
“Is it true that Will is here?”
I grew silent, my mind taking me back to the conversation Will and I had just had. Will had told me I was his, and he was mine. I’d been so happy to hear those words, but I couldn’t move past the feeling that I didn’t truly know the man standing before me.
He never should’ve kept something that important a secret from me. And Will had several chances to open up to me in the past. He’d taken me into that forest, he’d told me he'd never leave my side, he’d told me he cared about me . . .
But even if I’d known, how could I accept that he was the son of the Vampire Queen? And on top of that, he was a vampire who could safely walk in the sun? People finding out about his powers alone could start a war. And as it was right now, things were already a mess.
"Yes, he's here. He, um, followed me."
“Did he really? Can he truly walk in the sun? I overheard Cyrus telling Theanos that when he arrived.”
I raked my teeth across my bottom lip. “Yeah. Without his help, Cyrus and I probably would have died. So . . . I have him to thank for that.”
Damn it.
Even though I was upset with him, I had to admit, I was very grateful he’d once again saved my life—and Cyrus's, too.
A few months ago, I wouldn’t have been happy to have someone swoop in and save me. It would have felt like they’d thought I was too weak to defend myself. And weakness was something I never showed if I could avoid it. I’d never been one to hide from a fight, nor pretend I couldn’t protect myself and others. But the situation Cyrus and I had been in was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before.
Without Will’s help, we would have been goners.
Since leaving on this journey to rescue Skye, I'd realized just how many things I'd never experienced before. The dangers in this world were more significant than I’d ever imagined. That was the reason I'd wanted to leave the pack for so long. I'd wanted to see the world. I’d wanted to become a Guard to improve my raw strength and help others. In my pack, the best I could do as a female firstborn was become a Luna. But that wasn’t enough for me.
A Luna was responsible only for her pack, and while that was honorable, I didn't want to be so restricted.
"You don't look too pleased that Will is here," Skye said.
I shook my head. At first, just the fact that he was a vampire had held me back. But the more time we spent together, the more I’d grown tired of my world and become more comfortable in his—more comfortable with him. So he was a vampire. So what? It was who he was as a man that meant everything to me. Sure, learning he could walk in the sun was a shocker, but it didn’t change who he was as a person.
The thing I couldn’t seem to move past, though, was that Will wasn’t just an unusual vampire with charm. He was a vampire with a title—a title that placed us worlds apart. I almost laughed aloud when I remembered thinking that we could be together if I went rogue. Now, even that wouldn’t change anything.
"I don't know what to think now," I admitted. "I mean, was Will crazy to allow our friendship to get this far, knowing that discovery would make things impossible for both of us?” I palmed my face. “I fell for a bloody vampire prince.”
“That says a lot,” Skye murmured.
I looked at her with confusion. “What do you mean? What does it say? That he’s a madman? I agree.”
“He knew the risk and still pursued you. He followed you here and revealed his secret—a big secret. I don't think he'd do that for just anyone.”
"I know that, and . . . I appreciate it. I just . . ." I closed my eyes as I exhaled. "I don’t think we have a chance now. How could we? Sure, I could go rogue. But he can't walk away from being a prince." I shook my head as I opened my eyes. "At this point, I'd be willing to trade my life for a damn hut in the mountains, away from everyone and everything."
"You’ve considered going rogue, huh?" Skye didn't look shocked in the least.
“I've had enough of my father's selfishness, so I had planned on walking away from Elijah's proposal." I snorted. "Only he didn't even propose. He was being forced into our potential union, the same way I was. Still, I'm pretty sure I’ll be leaving the pack, one way or the other. Too much has happened.”
“I understand,” Skye said, bending her knees and resting her head on the wall behind us. “I’ve decided to go with Cyrus when he leaves for the Demon Realm.”
My chest tightened painfully at the thought of her leaving me. The idea of living without her in my life every day was like asking me which limb I wanted to lose. I didn’t even want to think about it, though I couldn’t say I blamed her for making that decision, especially now that her mother was gone. And if I had to leave the pack in order to live the kind of life I wanted to lead, Skye would’ve been left all alone. No, she was right to go with Cyrus when the time came.
Now that her mother was gone, there was nothing to stop her from being with Cyrus.
The world around us was moving too quickly. And on top of the challenges our normal lives threw our way, now we had power-boosted, mindless supernaturals to deal with.
“I think you should talk to him.”
I glanced over at her. “Why?”
“As hot and cold as your relationship, or—” she cleared her throat, “—extra close friendship might be, he’s making an effort. That’s now very clear to see because honestly, I was skeptical. A vampire and a werewolf? Hilarious. But he’s risked his own safety over and over again to be with you. Remember that. Besides, I’m sure you haven’t told him absolutely everything about yourself, have you?” She pinned me with a pointed stare. “People have secrets. Cyrus has many, and while it's infuriating, I allow him to speak when he's ready and when he thinks I'm ready to hear. And you keep secrets from Cyrus and me all the time.”
“Not major secrets,” I grumbled.
“How long did it take for you to tell me you were sucking face with a vampire?”
"We weren't sucking face at that point," I said, a blush spreading across my face.
“Well, I know you wanted to, no matter how hard you tried to keep him at arm’s length. But my point is, you keep secrets, too. And you're keeping him a secret from your father.”
Damn. I’m in no position to judge anyone.
“You should talk to him. I think he deserves to be heard, especially after coming to your rescue yet again.” Her eyes grew sad. “Don’t wait. We can lose the people we care about in the blink of an eye.”
I sank my teeth into my lip. Skye was right on all fronts. A part of me that had always tried not to need anyone was battling with the rest of me, the part that wanted Will in my life. What if I opened myself up to him . . . and he failed me? I’d already done that, in fact, imagining a life with him as a rogue wolf, free to be with whoever I wanted. Maybe that was why I felt so betrayed. His secret ruined that dream. Or at least, it looked that way right now.
I looked up at her again. “We spoke just before I came in to see you. He said that I'm his and he's mine, that he's tired of the way things are between us. Those were the words I really wanted to hear, but . . . the timing. I didn’t know how to
accept them.”
“You’re overthinking things. The problem is that you’ve never really been interested in guys. You didn’t want—or need—anyone’s protection. But a partner’s purpose isn’t only to protect you. It's to care for you, too. That’s why Will wants to look after you. It’s not because you’re weak. It’s because it hurts him to see you in trouble. I know Cyrus would move heaven and earth for me, and I love him for that.”
“Okay . . .” I exhaled heavily through my mouth. “I’ll try again. That is, if Will wants to talk to me now after I just rejected him.”
“He will. Just don’t lose the only man you’ve ever cared about because he’s a little more special than you had expected.”
Skye
I jerked awake, a scream slipping from my lips, and Cyrus bolted out of the chair by my bed. I looked around the room frantically, but she wasn't there. My mother wasn't there.
It hadn't been just a dream, however. I fisted my pajama top above my heart as it threw itself against my rib cage. My mother’s scream had been real. It was a memory that relentlessly echoed through my mind. I knew I'd be plagued with that memory, the horrible sound of her being tortured, for the rest of my life.
Cyrus pulled me into his arms. My eyes stung with tears and my breathing became labored as I clutched his shirt. Within seconds I was sobbing, the image of my mother’s bloody face imprinted behind my eyes.
“It’s okay, I’m here. You’re with me.” Cyrus ran his hands through my hair, offering me soothing words. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. To protect you both. I’m so very sorry.”
His words made my chest tighten, and the tears came faster. I turned my face into his chest, and the panic I felt slowly faded as I listened to his rapid heartbeat. He was hurting, too.
“Y-You did what you c-could,” I said, hiccuping between sobs.
“I should have done . . .”
I moved away from him. “Don’t. Don’t say it. Nothing we say now can change anything. We’ll never know what we could have done differently.”
Goddess, my heart ached, and my body and my soul felt broken. But I also knew blaming ourselves would only make us feel worse. If Cyrus and Elinor took the blame for this, I would have to do the same. I had been right there but could not reach out to my mother as she took her last breath before they slit her throat.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
I wished I could be rid of the images in my mind, wished I could just reach in and pluck them out, but I couldn't. A part of me knew I needed to keep them. I needed to remember what had happened, so I’d have the strength to do what I had to do—kill that parasite.
And I would kill him—slowly and painfully. He’d murdered a piece of my soul, and I'd use that blackened piece to destroy him. His yellow eyes were branded into my memory, and that image was what I focused on. Not the memory of my mother's eyes slowly closing forever.
"Then I’ll stop him." Cyrus's eyes were as red as I was sure mine were. "I'll find the one that did this. We'll find him. And we’ll make him pay."
I was happy he’d said ‘we.’ I nodded, and he pulled me in for another hug. We stayed like that for a moment, and I soaked up the warmth of his body.
The world was a darker place than it had been before.
My mother’s light was gone.
"We’ve got a location," Cyrus said. "We'll be going there shortly."
I sat up, wiping at a tear, and Cyrus moved a strand of hair away from my eyes. His gray eyes were heavy with grief, and we held onto each other's hands as if we'd both die if we pulled apart.
I squared my shoulders. "I want to go with you. I want to be the one who kills that mutant."
"I know. But we have to act now, and you’re not well enough yet. But I promise you, if he's there, I'll bring him to you alive . . . well, semi-alive."
I smiled. “Okay.”
I looked around the empty room, seeing only the chair by my bed and a small table with jars of potions Saleem had used to help speed up my healing and replenish my strength. My smile withered like an old flower. I still felt fragile, and although I wasn't physically feeling pain, it felt like someone trapped my lungs inside a too-small box.
Each time I inhaled, the breath was a short one. Saleem had healed my physical wounds, but the emotional ones were getting worse. Would this tight feeling in my chest ever go away?
"I'm coming with you," I said. Beside me, Cyrus stiffened, so I clarified, "To the Demon Realm. I'll come with you."
“You don’t have to decide on that now.”
“I’ve made up my mind. When this is all over, I’ll leave the pack and join you. Elinor will be leaving as well.”
Cyrus frowned. “Do you mean she’ll become a rogue? I didn’t think she’d made up her mind about that.”
I looked towards the door. “She will. I don't think she'll leave right away—not with all of this going on—but she will, for herself and for Will. Our world has always been too small for her. Her father’s been pushing her too hard, confining her too much. I saw this coming a while ago.”
“She loves him, although she hasn’t fully admitted it to herself.” Cyrus sounded so much like a concerned big brother, I smiled. He was always looking out for us both.
I nodded in agreement. “Will's risking a lot for her, too. He’s not that different than you are, risking your family’s wrath just to be here with us.”
“I guess you’re right,” Cyrus mumbled, but from the look on his face, he wasn’t pleased about being compared to Will.
Cyrus had always kept an eye on Elinor. After all, she was like a sister to him. And in his mind, he was only trying to protect her now. But unlike her father, at least Cyrus realized he couldn’t stop her from living the life she wanted to live and loving who she wanted to love.
I yawned loudly, and he draped his arm over my shoulder and pulled me closer. We laid together in silence, and the sound of his steady heartbeat eased the tension that threatened to overwhelm me.
“I hope she knows what she’s doing,” Cyrus said. “It might not be so easy to walk away from the pack. Alpha Grayson will do everything in his power to stop her.” I hummed my response, and Cyrus kissed the top of my head. “Go back to sleep. You need to rest more. I love you.”
I didn’t protest as my eyes began to shut at his command. “I love you, Cyrus.”
Sleep claimed me once more, and this time, I dreamed of murdering the scum with the yellow eyes . . . then marrying the demon of my dreams.
6
Elinor
I had to hand it to Skye—even in her vulnerable emotional state, she had dropped significant wisdom on me. Now I realized how much of an ass I’d been to Will. Not that he didn’t deserve a little heat for keeping his background and his abilities a secret from me for so long. But I’d been so caught up in my own swirling emotions, I hadn’t taken the time to consider how hard it must have been for him to reveal the secret at all. But he did . . . in order to save my life and the life of my friend.
It took a while to find him, but I eventually spied him on the balcony. I closed the door behind me soundlessly. Even though he must’ve known I was there, he didn’t turn around.
I inhaled deeply, nervousness weighing heavily on me as I walked out and stood beside him. He didn’t look at me, and I didn’t look at him. We stood there in silence for a moment, scanning the numerous buildings before us. The night was a quiet one, except for the occasional scream in the distance.
“I was wrong,” I said. From my peripheral vision, I saw him glance my way, and it gave me the courage to continue. “I . . . was in shock, and I didn’t know what to think.”
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “That wasn’t exactly the way I wanted you to learn the truth about me.”
“Still, I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful.”
He turned to me, offering me a small smile. Goddess, he was such a beautiful man.
I looked into his blue eyes. “You saved my life again,
and this time, it cost you.”
He turned away to look out over the market again. “I’d do it again if needed.”
Goddess, how can he be so sweet, yet so intimidating to me at the same time? How do those two things even go together?
He cared for me—I knew that. And now it was time I proved to him that I cared about him, too.
“I’ve been alive for a long time,” he said. “I’ve seen horrible things, and I’ve done unforgivable things, Elinor. I won’t pretend I haven’t. I was feared and respected among my kind because I used my gifts to help vampires. If we’d met back then, you’d have thought me a monster. And I was one.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
He turned towards me, his face half-hidden in the shadows. His eyes were red, and his fangs elongated. “You wish to know who I am, who I’ve been. So I’m telling you.”
I swallowed hard. Will’s vampire form had never scared me before, but I couldn’t help the tingle of fear I felt as black veins began to crawl up his neck to his mouth. His skin turned pale, and his crimson eyes glowed, even in the shadows.
But my initial twinge of fear dissipated as my body moved forward to meet his lips without my conscious thought. His fangs grazed against my lips before they vanished, and he deepened our kiss. His lips were warm, not cold, and I sank into his arms as he gripped my waist.
Yes, I wanted to know about his past, his present, and his hopes for the future. Maybe I should have allowed him to speak, but I hadn’t been able to resist him. Vampires could be alluring, not unlike incubi and succubi. And Will had more allure than most.
Bleeders were ghastly, bloodlust-driven creatures, but Skins—vampires like Will—held a sort of charisma that pulled in their prey. Except for their scent, which could be picked up by other supernaturals, they were near perfect. To humans, vampires could appear almost angelic.
Our lips pulled apart slowly, and I reached up to trace the black lines on his chin. Even in this form, he was beautiful to me.