He bent to kiss her only to have her abruptly pull back. “Is that okay? It’s not like I’m using you, or . . . That sounds worse. I don’t mean it like that. Phillip, is it okay? Is that why you’re mad?” she looked a bit panicked. He couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face. How could she be so cute and sexy at the same time?
“I’ll find a way for you to make it up to me, cher,” he took the guitar off and set it down near the couch before gathering her hand in his. If he pulled her along a bit too fast up the stairs, she didn’t complain.
As he shut the door behind them, he realized how long it had been since he had slept in this room. He wondered if she would talk about that with him if he brought it up. Her lips on his bare back stopped that train of thought. She went up on her toes to reach his neck. He stayed still as long as he could. It felt incredible. He didn’t want her to stop, but he was supposed to be making her forget. So he turned around to get to work.
He took his time undressing her, kissing her along the way. Her skirt fell to the ground once he finally found the damn zipper. He looked down at her with his eyebrows raised. He approved of her underwear, but she had worn a thong to a job interview? He would have to ask her about that. Later, maybe, if he remembered. He pulled the thong off, running his lips along her thighs on his way back up her body. He rid himself of his own jeans. When he settled his weight upon her on the bed, she moaned.
They became lost in each other, skin on skin. It was a struggle to move away from her long enough to reach her breasts. He took them in his hands and mouth, moving back and forth between them as Elena tangled her hands in his hair. He continued to move down her body, Elena finally releasing him as she realized what he had in mind.
He swept his tongue down her center, catching her hips as he knew he would need to, holding her in place as he continued. He replaced his tongue with his hand and took her breast in his mouth again. Elena arched her back and ground herself against his hand. Again, he left her breast and his tongue joined his hand. In seconds, he found a rhythm that had Elena crying out. He paused only a second to let her rest before he started on her again with his tongue. She whimpered his name and tried to pull him up to her. When that didn’t work, she began to squirm, trying to pull her hips away. “Phillip, please. I can’t,” she almost sobbed at him. She could. She would. He was relentless and she was crying out a second time in moments.
He rode out her orgasm, slowing the movement of his tongue, softening it to match her shivers. He pulled back and looked down at her. He had thought of flipping her onto her knees. It didn’t look like she could hold her own head up right now. Phillip felt satisfaction almost primal, and he wasn’t the least bit ashamed of that. He positioned himself to enter her and then eased in slowly. She cried out, but then looked up at him and breathed out a “finally,” with a small smile. He smiled back at her holding himself up on his hands. He meant to move at a slow pace, wanting to draw this out as long as he could, but he soon got lost in the rhythm. Lost in Elena. He felt her clench around him as he came. He had just enough sense left in him to roll to the side drawing her on top of him.
For a long while, they lay there catching their breath. He managed to wrap one arm around her as she lay draped over him. “What did you mean, you know?”
“Hmm?” he grunted at her. She was still thinking. Damn. He failed.
“Downstairs, when I saw you in just your jeans and guitar. I told you it was my favorite look and you said ‘I know.’ What did you mean?” Her head bounced up and down a little as he laughed. She shifted and grabbed a blanket that was wadded up and turned sideways on his bed. Elena gave a half-hearted attempt to cover them with the blanket and then flopped down over him again as if even that little movement exhausted her. Maybe he hadn’t failed after all. “Really, what did you mean?”
“Well, when I first moved in I overheard you and Monica talking one day. She suggested you lower the rent if I agreed to keep my shirt off and guitar on.” Elena laughed, mumbling she remembered that now. “I tried for a month or more, but you never offered, cher. Eventually I got cold and gave up.” He smiled at the memory. When he first moved in, lowering his rent wasn’t the only goal on his mind. He couldn’t help but notice the two hot new roommates. There was a night not long after he moved in that he almost made a move on Monica. He felt a bit ashamed, not to mention a spike of fear, at what he could have missed out on if he had let a little physical attraction and a couple of beers direct his actions. He had desired Elena from the beginning, too. He was thankful she was the one who he paid the rent to. In the beginning that had been the only thing that held him back.
Elena raised her head off his chest asking, “What’s wrong?” He didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Still, no secrets. She rolled over to her side still wrapped in his arms.
“I was remembering the early days - when I moved into a house with two hot girls. I’m lucky I didn’t do anything early on that would have kept you from me now.” He wondered if that would be enough of an explanation.
Apparently not. “You mean like having sex with my best friend?” she asked in an overly sweet voice. He kissed her head and grinned.
“That would be one mistake I could have made. Or slipping’ in to your room at night like I thought of doing more than once.” He repositioned slightly so he could look at her and asked, “Does my, uh, history with ladies bother you, cher?”
“I do my best not to think about it,” she replied dryly. She chewed her lip and looked a bit uncertain. “Did you really think of coming to me in the middle of night?”
He brought his face closer to hers, drawling “so many times.” He felt her lightly drawing circles on her arm.
“What stopped you? Don’t you kiss me,” she smiled at him. “I really want to know.”
“Yet. You meant to say yet ‘cause you want me to kiss you, cher.” She tried leveling a look at him. But he was grinning because he knew he was right. “Honestly, at first it was only ‘cause I paid my rent to you. That held me off ‘till I got to know you. Then, I found I liked you. You were still hot, but I liked you. After I thought about that for a while, I realized I didn’t want a night,” he paused a second for impact, “or a long, hot weekend.” He moved his body suggestively against her, putting his lips within inches of hers. “Well, I wanted it, but I wanted more. I wanted to keep you.”
“So you waited ‘till you were ready for a long term relationship?” she asked him.
“Nah, cher. I waited ‘till you were ready. I still worry I made my move too soon.” She looked at him disbelievingly. “I said I mean to keep you. I plan on doing exactly that, long term. Ask yourself, Elena, which one of us does that scare?” He could tell by the look on her face she realized he was right and speaking the truth.
Chapter 24
The next morning Elena was up with the sunrise. She had finally slept, but was really thrown by what Phillip had revealed to her. The world seemed a little upside down, maybe a bit unfair. Phillip had been a horn dog, yet she was the one with the commitment fears. And somehow, it was all true. When she asked herself now if she was ready to commit, she still hesitated. Of course, there was a bit more involved to life with her. It wasn’t her feelings for Phillip that caused that hesitation. It was the fear that he wouldn’t be able to accept the full disclosure that had to eventually come. Now when she forced full honesty from herself, she had to admit that she would not have been ready for Phillip even a few months ago. The whole Jason debacle was still too fresh then. Elena found she didn’t like discovering she was a bit cowardly.
She squinted at the bright morning sun and decided to give herself a break. She was still young and learning. If she didn’t have everything figured out, well, neither did anyone else. Some coffee would make her feel better. She needed to send an email to follow up on the interview yesterday. She turned on her lap top to google some suggestions of thank-you follow ups to professional interviews. With a bit of surprise, she realized she had actually
had her first one and missed all the anticipation that should have accompanied it. She had been too preoccupied with her own ‘investigation.’ A quiet revelation hit her as she realized how much of her focus had been on Evenfall. It was time to let him go. She had wanted to help him, and she had failed. Nothing she did now would change that. It was time to move on.
She had the morning to herself. She had seen Monica on her way out to work and passed her a quick bagel and cup of coffee. She had already finished her thank-you email and had been browsing the web by the time Phillip groggily made his way downstairs. She handed him a cup of coffee, Sensing more gratefulness than the action truly deserved. She could empathize. Caffeine was good.
She took a deep breath. She was nervous. “Good morning. After you have had your coffee, I want to talk to you about something.” She turned to get the cream cheese out of the fridge to go with the toasted bagels on the table.
Fear. Fright. Phillip was prepared to fight. She turned around, wildly looking around the room, looking for the danger. Phillip had stood, but he was looking directly at Elena.
“You woan run from me. From us. Doan you bolt on me, Elena.” She stood paralyzed as he stalked over to her. He picked her up and was kissing her before she could speak.
Slowly, he lowered her to her feet. She swayed against him, breathless from his kiss. “I told you from the very beginning I meant to keep you. Nothing has changed. Just because you realize now that I mean it, we” he gestured with his hands, “are still the same.”
‘It’s okay. Phillip, it’s not anything you said last night. I actually have a question for you. And I don’t really know how to say it.” She rubbed her hands up his arms. “But . . . I’m okay with you pointing out, well, I’m okay with what you said last night.” She licked her lips and took another deep breath. She decided to just say it. “I hear your song. Sometimes, I think. Last night, for sure, I did. I just heard it.”
Phillip watched her for a long while. She Sensed relief, maybe happiness with a little satisfaction? She waited. Finally, he said, “I hear my music all the time. I’m glad you hear it, too. You like it, doan you, cher? Hearing my music?”
“Always. I love hearing your music, Phillip, always.”
“So, you can tell what people are feeling and now you can hear my music?” He stated it and then waited. “Is there more, Elena? You want to tell me some more?” He asked this as he lightly rubbed her neck, touching the necklace as well. She hesitated. She wanted to elaborate, to not just breeze over it and let it go. But, she did. She smiled as she chickened out. She shook her head no. “Okay, for now,” he murmured as he moved once more to kiss her.
“Wait. Actually, I did realize one more thing, Phillip. I went on my first professional interview yesterday, and I didn’t even have time to be worried about it.” His face bare inches from hers, he laughed at her. At her expression, he cleared his throat and gestured at her to continue. He managed to put on a more serious face as she continued. “Anyway, what I was saying, is that I was so wrapped up in the tragedy with Evenfall, that I let that overshadow the whole interview. “She paused to take a deep breath. All joking was aside, and she now had Phillip’s full attention. “I’m moving on now. I am letting this go. Completely this time.” The room flooded gold.
“I’m glad, cher. I’ll even be a little selfish and admit I like the idea of having your full attention,” he had a wicked smile to accompany that statement. Finally, he closed the distance between them with a kiss that she could swear burned. Much to her disappointment, he broke the kiss off. “And no plans for bolting on me?” he was watching her so intently. She smiled as she shook her head no once more.
So much relief. Was it all just from her? She focused on Phillip. No, he felt relief, too. It was coming from him as much as from her. Relief because he had thought she was bolting, maybe thought she was even breaking up with him? Relief that she was finally moving beyond the Evenfall situation? Could he also be relieved that she didn’t push the subject about hearing his music? She really did hear it. She wasn’t just replaying it in her head. Elena had a suspicion that Phillip knew that, too. He had told her before that he could hear and feel music. Maybe he thought everyone could, if they just tried it, or were open to it. She knew better. For her, this shouldn’t be possible.
Chapter 25
Elena got undressed from her day at work. Three weeks had passed and life had resumed its normal ebb and flow. She had accepted the job at the facility and started working last week. So far, it was going well, and she was even keeping up her grades despite adding the work hours and continuing on with the hot line. The only down side was the decrease in time she had available to be with Phillip. He had finally agreed with the rest of his band and taken a few gigs that required some traveling. Nothing too far, but it cut further into their time together. He was playing at the bar tonight and she wanted to go see him before he played. Unfortunately, she just wasn’t up to a big crowd tonight. She hoped to grab a few minutes with him before he got too wrapped up in the band and his upcoming gig. She was just about to head out the door when the house phone rang. A little mental argument ran through her head, but in the end, she answered it.
“Hello,” with surprise she took a seat. It was detective Talbot. Elena couldn’t think of a thing to say, but that wasn’t an issue. He began talking and he didn’t stop. He explained that he had exhausted all leads. There was an unidentified female whose DNA would remain on record. She was involved, somehow, but with no suspect, they had nothing, no sample, to compare it to. The medical examiner had finally ruled Evenfall’s death a homicide. Many of the wounds, but not all, could not have been self-inflicted. Unfortunately, there were no leads, he reiterated. He was informing her because Elena seemed to be the closest person that Evenfall had in town. Detective Talbot was conflicted. And sad, she Sensed. He apologized and reiterated that he just had no leads. The evidence would remain on file and in a data base, but for now the investigation was being closed. He asked once again, with more than a little hope in his voice, if she knew of any details of anyone else connected to James Jones. She took a chance and mentioned the female visitor that Karen had mentioned. With disappointment in his voice, he reported that the security tapes had been damaged. They no longer had a photo, only the name M. Jones to work with. To Elena, it felt as if they shared a moment of silence, and also of disappointment. Neither was satisfied with the outcome. Finally, they ended the call, and Elena put the cordless phone back on the charger.
She took a moment, staring out the window at the hot wind blowing through the trees. Her heart ached for Evenfall, and now for Detective Talbot, as well. With renewed determination, she headed out the door to find Phillip. Life was in the small moments, she reminded herself. She would make the most of those small moments today.
She did her best to find music to distract her on the short ride to the bar. She finally gave up and just turned it off. Instead, she let Phillip’s song run through her. She had willpower enough to not think about what that might mean. At a stop light she got off a quick text to Phillip letting him know she was almost there. She made the last few turns and parked her car. Her phone dinged, and she checked his response. Well, she definitely beat him here, but at least she wouldn’t be waiting too long. There weren’t many cars in the parking lot, so she decided she would be fine waiting for him inside.
Jacob was setting up at the bar. He looked up as she walked through the door. She waved to him and headed his way. “Hello, gorgeous. I talked to Marvin. He was working last night. You will never guess who else was here,” he gushed at her as she took a seat. “That Detective. He left his card.” He showed it to her and continued, “Marvin says he was asking about that James Jones guy that was killed. Marvin complained he was here at the bar for a while, killing the tips. Some other older guy joined him before they finally left together. Marvin was sweating it, worried about the police being here. You know, worried about how it would affect business. He was thinking that they
were undercover trying to bust potential DUI’s,” he laughed at that. “I think the detective has better things to do, even in this little college town, than stake out potential drunk drivers.” He handed her a glass of ice water and turned the music on.
She returned his smile and thanked him for the water. “I think you’re right about that. Who was the older guy with the detective?” she asked Jacob. How strange that detective Talbot was here just last night. She wondered if coming here had been a last ditch effort at finding some information relevant to the case. She was fairly certain that by today, at least, the Detective had decided this case would remain unsolved.
“He didn’t know, for sure. But by the description he gave, I think he’s been in before. Real formal guy. Always dressed for business. Tall and dark. If it’s the same guy I’m thinking of, his name is Adam or Ethan or something.” Jacob got excited as a new song came on, so he missed the look on Elena’s face. The man he described sounded like the Speaker. He hadn’t said his name was for sure Aiden, although, Jacob was better with faces than he was with names. But surely, there was more than one older, business-like man that came into the bar. Still, if the Speaker was with the detective the night before the detective decides to abandon the case? The security tapes were mysteriously damaged. Did Detective Talbot abandon the case because he had no leads or was it because he had no choice?
Jacob was dancing behind the bar, and she did her best to smile at him. He was trying to give her a good show and get a laugh out of her. She knew he liked this song, even though it wasn’t his typical style. It was a dance song and pretty girly for a big guy like Jacob. It was Lights, by Ellie Gould. The chorus was coming up again, where Ellie sang about the lights calling her home.
Elena pressed her hands into her stomach, as the room turned that sickly green color she had learned to fear. She fought to hold on to her own thoughts. She fought to hear Phillip’s song, but Lights kept playing in the background. Nearing the end, the lyrics began repeating that the lights were calling her home.
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