by SJ West
I don’t even have to think about the answer. “No, but you’re not far off.”
I hear him sigh in resignation of hearing the truth.
“When do you need to go back?” he asks.
“Tomorrow morning,” I answer, finally turning around to face him. “Why?”
“I have a suggestion,” he says, taking two strides forward to close the distance between us a little more. “Let’s not talk about anything that’s happening back on Earth. I think we need to continue what we were doing before we went to the party and get to know each other better. We owe it to ourselves to see if there’s a chance we can put one another first in our lives. Would you be willing to do that? To give us a real try?”
“What exactly do you want us to do until I have to leave?”
“There’s still a lot I don’t know about you,” he says, “and there’s a lot you don’t know about me. You didn’t know I could play the guitar until Lucas’ birthday, right?”
“No, I didn’t. I must have disregarded those memories as being unimportant while you were in Hell.”
“Do you play an instrument?”
“I can play any instrument you give me,” I inform him. “I’ve had centuries to absorb memories about a great many things from the souls who reside in my domain.”
“I saw a piano upstairs in the study. Would you be willing to play something for me?”
“I suppose I could do that,” I say hesitantly. “I’ve never actually played the piano before, but I believe I have enough knowledge to pull from to perform a piece of music for you.”
“Come on then,” he says, tilting his head to the staircase that leads to the upstairs. “Show me what you’ve got in those fingers of yours. Let’s see how well you can tickle the ivories.”
“Tickle the ivories,” I say with a shake of my head. “As if I’ve ever tickled anything in my life.”
“Then that implies you’ve never been tickled,” Cade surmises with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.
“Don’t even think about it,” I warn him in all seriousness. “I feel sure I wouldn’t like it.”
“How do you know if you don’t give it a try?”
“I think I know myself quite well, thank you very much. Being tickled is not one of my life’s ambitions, so keep your hands to yourself if that’s your intent.”
“Okay, I won’t tickle you,” he relents, “unless you ask me to.”
“I don’t see that happening anytime soon,” I guarantee.
“If you change your mind,” Cades raises his hands in the air and wiggles his fingers, “I’ve had a lot of tickling practice. Lucas loves it when I tickle him.”
“Need I remind you that I’m not a seven-year-old child?”
As he lowers his hands, Cade replies, “No, you don’t need to do that. I’m fully aware you’re an old woman, because you act like one most of the time.”
“Old, am I?” I ask, finding his description of me amusing. “I do believe you’re older than me, or have you forgotten Lucifer only made me after his father threw him out of Heaven? You were made well before that happened.”
“I didn’t say I was young. I’m old too, which is one reason we should get along.”
“Show me where the piano is before I get too old to play for you,” I say, deciding to change the subject away from how ancient we both are.
“Come on,” he says as he slowly begins to walk over to the stairs. “I’ll show you.”
I follow Cade up to the top floor and into the study. The black lacquered baby grand piano is the most prominent feature in the room. I vaguely take in the waist-high bookshelves filled with volumes against the walls and the desk in the corner. The piano has been strategically placed opposite the desk and in the corner of the two glass walls in the room.
“I didn’t realize Evelyn liked to play the piano,” I say as I walk up to it and sit on the bench. Cade follows and rests his forearms on the lid, twining his fingers together as he leans against the baby grand.
“She told me her daughter is the one who likes to play,” Cade informs me.
“And when did you talk to her about that?” I ask.
“She came here while you were gone. She wasn’t sure I would know where to go in town if I needed some food. It’s not a big deal, Helena. Evelyn was just trying to be nice.”
“And poison you against me too, I would wager.”
“Not at all. She just wanted to make sure I was comfortable. You weren’t even a part of our conversation.”
“Which entailed what exactly?” I ask, still suspicious of Evelyn’s motives to befriend Cade.
He shrugs. “Nothing important really. Like I said, she just wanted to make sure I was comfortable here.”
I decide to drop the matter. It’s not important enough to get in a fight over. I’m tired of fighting with Cade. A little peace between us would be preferable.
I set my fingers into place on the piano keys. Their smooth surface feels cool against the tips of my fingers. I close my eyes and try to remember a piece of music to fit the occasion Cade and I find ourselves in.
As I begin to play the second movement of Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 23, I keep my eyes closed while my fingers begin to press the keys. The piece begins rather slowly, as if the composer was reminiscing about something sad he once experienced in his life. Then it changes, as if telling the listener that all hope isn’t lost if you’re willing to stretch out and touch the small ray of hope that is being offered. By the end of the concerto, you’re led to believe that the composer has finally found peace, even if it’s only a fleeting moment in time.
When I’m through playing, I open my eyes and look up at Cade. He’s staring at me as if he’s seeing me for the first time. I notice an understanding in his eyes now that wasn’t there before. It’s almost as if he’s glimpsed a part of my soul he didn’t know existed and understands exactly who I am and where I’ve been.
“That was … beautiful,” he whispers in awe. “I can’t believe you’ve never actually played the piano before. It sounded as if you were the one who composed the piece.”
“Mozart did,” I tell him, not wanting to take credit for something I didn’t do. “I’ve never written music.”
“You should try it sometime,” he encourages me. “I think you would be good at it.”
“I don’t believe I could compose music that sounds quite as beautiful. It would probably be filled with too much anger.”
“Still, I think you should attempt it one day. You never know what might happen until you try.”
I consider his words and say, “I’ll think about it.”
I look around the room, hoping to see some more musical instruments laying around, but I don’t readily notice any.
“I don’t suppose Evelyn has a guitar hiding around here somewhere?” I ask.
Cade shakes his head. “No. I should have brought mine along before we left Lucas’ party.”
“I didn’t really give you a chance to do that,” I say, remembering our hasty exit from the gathering. “All I wanted to do was get away from Lucifer.”
I feel an unexpected melancholia at the thought of my father, but quickly brush it aside as an aftereffect of the piece of music I just played.
“We could probably go to town and find you a guitar,” I suggest. “It’s not like we have anything better to do with our time here.”
Cade’s blue-gray eyes light up with excitement. “I would actually love to do that.”
“Then grab that credit fob Evelyn left for us to use and let’s go shopping.”
Sierra doesn’t actually have paper money. They use an electronic form of payment much like Earth utilizes. All you need is a credit fob and its password.
Cade walks over to the desk in the room and picks up a small rectangular piece of black plastic. I know from Lucifer’s memories of visiting this planet that to make a purchase the buyer would have to pass the fob over a scanner and then manually enter the password into a keypad.
&
nbsp; I stand from the piano bench and ask, “Do you happen to know where a music shop is in town?”
“Not offhand,” Cade admits, “but I’m sure we can find one.”
I lift a questioning eyebrow. “And do you intend to go shopping only half-clothed?”
“Would it bother you?” he teases.
“Not in the slightest,” I assure him, “but a lot of stores won’t allow you entry unless you’re wearing a shirt.”
Cade sighs exaggeratedly. “Then I suppose I’d better go put a shirt on. I wouldn’t want to cause a ruckus.”
“And I would hate to have to claw the eyes out of the women who stare at you for too long.”
Cade shakes his head at me. “As if I would care if they did.”
“You might not, but I certainly would. As you know, I don’t play well with others.”
“I’ll be right back,” Cade tells me, heading for the door. “Today is supposed to be a fun day for us, not one in which you kill someone to defend my honor.”
I hear Cade walk down the hallway and open the door to a room. Within a couple of minutes, he walks back into the study, buttoning up a maroon shirt.
“Is that new?” I ask him, not remembering him bringing extra clothing.
“Evelyn said I could wear the clothes that were left in the bedroom down the hall. I guess this place used to belong to her daughter and her husband, but after he died, Julia left this cabin and hasn’t been back since.”
“So you’re wearing a dead man’s clothes?” I ask in disgust.
Cade shrugs. “It’s all I have.”
“Then we need to go buy you some new clothes first. I refuse to have you walking around in clothing that belonged to someone who’s dead. It’s a bit too morbid, even for my tastes.”
“That sounds a little ironic coming from you.”
“Perhaps it is, but it’s the way I feel. I would rather you have new clothing anyway, not hand-me-downs from someone we don’t even know.”
“If it would make you feel better, that’s fine with me,” Cade relents. “I’ll even let you dress me the way you want.”
“That could be dangerous,” I imply. “What if I want to dress you up in a pink tutu?”
“Well, if that’s what turns you on, I say go for it,” he jokes.
I let out a half-laugh at the picture that forms in my mind of Cade prancing around in a frilly tutu.
“That would most certainly do nothing for me in the carnal desire department.” I walk over to Cade and take his arm. “Come along. I’m sure we can find something more suitable for you to wear.”
Chapter 18
We phase to the center of town and begin searching for the two stores we need. The men’s clothing store is the first one we locate. Cade is true to his word about giving me carte blanche when it comes to picking out his new outfits. I like Cade best when he dresses simply, so I opt for plain slacks, jeans, and shirts that can be layered to fend off the wintery cold on top of the mountain. However, when it comes to choosing his underwear, I do seek his opinion.
“Are you a boxers or briefs kind of man?” I ask, holding up an example of each from a circular display of men’s undergarments.
“Pick the one you think I would like, and I’ll tell you if you’re right or wrong,” he challenges with a lopsided grin.
“Briefs,” I say without much deliberation.
“You’re right,” he tells me, sounding impressed, “but I’m interested in knowing why you think I like them better.”
“If I were a man, I wouldn’t want to walk around with that thing hanging loose between my legs all the time. I would prefer to have it held securely in place.”
“That’s pretty spot-on,” Cade says, looking surprised by my conclusion. “It sounds like you’ve given the subject a lot of thought.”
“I have.”
Cade looks puzzled by my answer. “Mind me asking why you would need to consider such a question?”
“When I realized I could make a body for myself in Hell, I knew I would need to decide whether or not I wanted to be a woman or a man. I deliberated a long time over the question about whether having a penis would annoy me.”
Cade grins, finding my explanation humorous. “And I take it you decided it would bother you.”
“Most definitely,” I declare. “It’s like a fifth appendage that has a mind of its own, and I like being in full control, especially when it comes to my own body. Honestly, I’m not sure why anyone would want to own one of those things.”
As Cade begins to chuckle at my explanation, the female sales clerk who has been helping us walks over.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” she says, “but is there anything else you would like to buy? We have all of your other items bagged up for you.”
I grab a handful of black briefs and toss them to the woman. Thankfully, her reflexes are quick and she doesn’t drop a single pair.
“Add these,” I tell her, “and that will be all for today.”
The woman turns and walks back to the front of the store.
After we gather our purchases and walk out onto the street, I phase us back to the cabin.
“I thought we were going to look for a guitar,” Cade says in disappointment.
“I need for you to change out of that shirt first,” I say, eyeing the one he’s wearing suspiciously. “I think it’s bad luck to wear a dead man’s clothing. We don’t even know what Julia’s husband died of. You could be wearing something diseased or teeming with germs. Besides, I would rather look at you and not be reminded that the previous owner is deceased.”
“Do you have a preference for what I wear?” Cade asks, holding up the three bags of clothing.
“No. Anything will do.”
Cade sets the bags down on the living room floor and begins to unbutton the shirt he’s wearing.
“Why is it that you’re not shy about being partially nude in front of me?” I ask, enjoying the show but curious to find out what his endgame is all about. “In fact, it’s almost like you do it on purpose. Is there a reason?”
Cade shrugs. “I didn’t think you would mind.”
“I didn’t say I minded it. I just find the behavior odd.”
Cade pulls out an off-white Henley from one of the bags and slips it on over his head. Without explaining his need to parade his body in front of me every chance he gets, he pulls out a brown leather jacket from one of the bags and puts that on as well.
“So, you’re not going to give me a reason?” I ask, finding his reluctance to answer my question even odder.
“If I did,” he says, tugging on the cuffs of his shirtsleeves to pull them down, “the point of doing it would be lost. So, no, I’m not going to give you the answer you’re looking for. Not unless I think my cause is a hopeless one.”
Hopeless cause? What in the world is he talking about?
“Come on,” he says, holding out his hand for me to take. “I asked the clerk at the store where we can buy a guitar. The music store isn’t far from where we were.”
I take his hand, and he phases us back to the street where the store is located. A couple of blocks down, we find the music store. While Cade is browsing the collection of various acoustic guitars they have in stock, I look through the sheets of music they have in a display and find a song I haven’t heard before. Obviously, being on a planet that isn’t Earth means there are different people who compose different music, but since the souls here still end up in my domain too, it’s strange to find music that I don’t recognize.
“Find something that you like?” Cade asks as he walks up holding a black acoustic guitar. “Do you know that piece of music?”
“No,” I say with a small shake of my head. “I was just thinking how odd it is that I’ve never heard this particular tune before.”
“Can I see it?” he asks, holding out his hand to take it while setting the guitar he’s chosen against the wall next to us.
After I pass it to him, he looks at the notes an
d begins to quietly hum the tune. Once he’s gone through a few bars, he stops and looks up at me.
“If I buy this, will you play it with me?” he asks, as if he’s asking me on a play date.
I hesitate for a moment. For some reason, performing a song together seems like an intimate act that I’m not sure I’m ready to do just yet. I almost want to laugh at myself for reacting so foolishly. Haven’t I been the aggressor in this relationship with Cade? I’ve mentioned more than once that I want to have sex with him. Why would playing a piece of music together be any more intimate of an act?
“We can try,” I say, earning a smile from Cade that makes me have to swallow hard because my acquiescence seems to light him up on the inside with pure joy. I feel as if I’ve agreed to more than just a simple duet.
“Great,” he replies, doing his best not to make a big deal out of my acceptance to his proposal, but he can’t hide the fact that I’ve made him happy.
After we make our purchases, Cade suggests we go to a local grocery store and pick something up to cook for lunch.
“I’ve never cooked,” I inform him bluntly as we walk down the street to the store.
“Just like you’ve never played the piano? Then you’re probably a master chef,” he jests, but I can tell he considers it to be the truth.
“Actually,” I say, thinking through the memories I have accumulated from those who reside within my domain, “you might not be wrong.”
As we walk down the aisles of the store, I instantly know what I want to cook for Cade.
“Leave,” I order him, “but give me the credit fob before you go.”
“Did I do something to upset you?” he asks, looking puzzled over my demand.
“Not at all,” I assure him. “I just thought it might be more fun if I cooked you a surprise.”
“That’s … thoughtful of you, Helena,” he says haltingly, looking somewhat amazed by my suggestion.
“Just give me the fob,” I say impatiently with my hand out. “I’ll meet you back at the cabin once I have everything I need.”
“Do you want me to do anything to help prep the kitchen for you?” he asks while sliding his right hand into the front pocket of his jeans to find the credit fob.