by Marta Brown
I drive extra slow so Ashley can take in each front porch decked out with paper lanterns, hanging in all different shapes and sizes, glowing in the early summer evening.
“It’s pretty quiet here during the year since only a few of the cottages have year round residents, but during the summer the neighborhood has a real vacation feel.”
“I absolutely love it,” she says, smiling from ear to ear. “My grandfather brought Andrew and me up here once to see the lights, and I still remember thinking it was something out of a dream.”
“Well, home sweet home,” I say, pulling up to my house. Ashley gets out of the car and straightens her sundress. “You ready?” I ask. She nods, not seeming nervous at all as we walk hand in hand through the front door.
“Well, well, well,” Grandpa says, getting up from his recliner. “This must be the Ashley our Lane here can’t stop talking about.” He shuffles across the small living room and takes Ashley’s extended hand in his. “I sure can see why he’s so head over heels.”
“Subtle, Grandpa,” I say sarcastically, making both him and Ashley laugh. While it may not have been subtle, it certainly did break the ice.
“Hi, Mr. McCarthy,” Ashley says politely. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
“You too, my dear, but please feel free to call me Grandpa Frank. All the kids do.”
Ashley smiles up at me and then back at my grandpa. “Well then, it’s very nice to finally meet you, Grandpa Frank.”
“Sweet this one,” he says to me while patting the back of Ashley’s hand and it’s obvious she has him won over.
Irene pokes her head around the corner from the kitchen and waves us in. “You kids come on in, dinner’s almost ready. Your mama’s just pulling it out of the oven.”
“That’s Irene, Grandpa’s nurse,” I tell Ashley as we walk into the kitchen, Grandpa close behind us.
“It’s nice to meet you, Miss Ashley,” Irene nods, wiping her hands on a kitchen cloth.
“You too,” Ashley says, seeming right at home standing in the middle of my crowded kitchen.
My mom sets a casserole dish in the center of the table covered with tinfoil before untying her red and white apron and tossing it over the end of her chair.
There’s just a beat of silence before I remember my manners.
“Oh. Mom, this is Ashley Whitmore,” I say, looking down at the girl on my arm and feeling proud she’s somehow mine. “Ashley, this is my mom.”
“Hello, Ms. McCarthy. It’s nice to meet you,” Ashley says, giving mom a handshake. “Thank you so much for having me over for dinner.”
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you too Ashley, and you’re very welcome. Please call me Jody.” There’s a brief moment of silence while we all five stand smiling at one another before a bell on the stove rings. Perfect timing. “So, who’s hungry?”
Grandpa pulls out a chair for my mom. “For your famous meatloaf? You betcha.”
“I hope you like meatloaf,” I whisper to Ashley when we’re seated. I can’t believe I’d never thought to ask if it was something she even ate. Stupid.
“It smells amazing, Jody. Meatloaf is one of my favorites,” Ashley says before giving my leg a squeeze under the table. Okay. I get it. I can chill out.
“So, Ashley, how did you and Lane meet? Mom scoops a heap of mash potatoes on her plate then passes the bowl to Grandpa. “Did you all go to school together?”
“No, ma’am, we actually met at the club.”
“Oh, that’s right. Lane said you had a tennis lesson earlier. You must be very good. How long have you been teaching?” Mom asks casually, making me choke on my green beans.
Irene slaps my back a few times while I cough. “No, Ma, Ashley had a tennis lesson at the club.”
Slow understanding registers across Mom’s face and this is exactly what I was afraid of. “Oh,” is all she says before taking a long sip of water and exchanging a look with Grandpa. Great.
I struggle for something, anything to fill the silence, when I’m saved by my girl.
“Has Lane mentioned we’ll be going to school together in the fall?” Ashley asks, without skipping a beat, addressing the whole table.
“Another Yalie, huh?” Grandpa says, his pride clearly evident.
“Yes, sir, my brother too. He and Lane have bonded over their mutual love of cars.”
“You don’t say? Well, won’t that be nice to already have made some friends once you get to school.” Grandpa looks at me, but I think he’s speaking to Mom more than anything.
“Yes, that will be nice,” Mom agrees. I can tell she’s still surprised Ashley’s a Stay, but I think the shock has worn off. In retrospect, I probably should have told her ahead of time.
The rest of the conversation over dinner flows easily. It feels like Ashley has always sat in the seat to my right, like that’s where she belongs. Mom did flinch subtlety when Ashley said she was from Connecticut, just like my father had been, but by the time dinner had finished and Ashley volunteered to help mom with the dishes, I could tell my mom was warming up to her. A little.
…
“Well, it’s getting late, I better get Ashley home before my shift at the lighthouse,” I say, standing up from the couch and stretching.
“Oh, sweetie, I have some leftovers for you to take in case you get hungry later,” Mom says. She pulls on my sleeve, and I take the hint and follow her into the kitchen.
“You know I usually just take a protein bar.” I eye her.
“I know, I just wanted a second to talk to you.” She crosses her arms. “I really wish you would have warned me.”
“I’m sorry, Ma. I wanted you to get to know Ashley before assuming she’s just like the rest of ’em.”
Mom glances out into the living room where Ashley is hugging Irene and then Grandpa goodbye. “She is a lovely girl, Lane… I just don’t want you to get your heart broken if this ends up being nothing but a summer fling for her.” I nod, understanding where she’s coming from. “I’m only trying to look out for you, kiddo, because I love you.”
“I know you are, and I love you too, Ma.” I give her a hug then toss my arm over her shoulder. “Don’t worry.”
“Thank you so much, Jody, for having me over,” Ashley says when we walk back into the living room.
Mom gives Ashley a hug goodbye. “You’re very welcome, come on over anytime.”
I smile. “Thanks, Mom,” I say, and I know she knows what I mean.
“Well?” Ashley asks when we’re back in the car and have pulled out of my driveway, but the smile on her face tells me she already knows the answer.
“You know you’re like a pro, right?”
“With parents? Years of practice and an entire summer of etiquette classes.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I wish.”
“Well, they loved you,” I say, reaching over and brushing my thumb across her cheek, the word rolling off my tongue with ease.
“I loved them too,” she says, leaning into my hand.
The light from the passing lanterns bounces off Ashley’s face, and I feel a knot twist in my stomach thinking about her with my family and how easy she was around them. As if it’s possible, I think tonight’s made me fall even harder for her than I already have.
I stop right before the turn out onto the main road and gently pull Ashley towards me, my hands on each side of her face. I kiss her long and soft. It’s the only way I can tell her how I’m feeling without using the three words I want to use.
When we part, her eyes are as unfocused as my mind, swirling with unsaid feelings.
“Baby, about last night…” I begin, feeling my nerves return full force. I have to make sure I didn’t say too much, that I didn’t scare her, but she stops me by putting her finger to my lips.
“You’re not the only one falling fast.”
We stare into one another’s eyes without saying a word until a quick honk sounds from behind us.
“
I think they mean us,” she says with a soft laugh, and just like that, all my worries are gone.
Chapter 14
Ashley
I can’t sleep.
The bright red numbers of my bedside clock read two eighteen in the morning and I’ve been tossing and turning for hours thinking about Lane and our mutual confessions. We’re falling in love.
I throw off the covers that feel like burlap against my skin compared to Lane’s touch and peer out my bedroom window. The circling beam of light from the lighthouse is calling me. I have to see him.
This isn’t the first time I’ve decided to listen to my heart and not my head when it comes to Lane, and I’m sure it will not be the last, but this is the first time I’ve ever snuck out.
I tiptoe up the stairs and freeze when the top step creaks, echoing throughout the quiet house. I hold my breath, afraid if that doesn’t wake them, my hammering heart surely will. I take a few shallow breaths listening for movement coming from their room, and I am relieved to hear nothing but the ocean waves crashing outside. Whew.
I sneak back down the stairs, this time without making a sound and flush the toilet in my bathroom to conceal the noise of the sliding glass door opening and closing. Andrew taught me this trick years ago, but I never needed it until tonight.
I shut the sliding glass door behind me and with a quick look over my shoulder to ensure the upstairs windows are still dark, I run full speed ahead onto the beach and down the peninsula toward the lighthouse.
I feel exhilarated running across the dark beach, the cold sand under my bare feet while my white eyelet nightgown blows in the warm night breeze.
When I reach the light house I’m slightly out of breath. It dawns on me as I knock on the locked door I could have texted Lane before coming so I wouldn’t be standing in the pitch black night in nothing but a nightgown.
The lock clicks loudly before the door scrapes open just enough for Lane to peek out. His eyes widen in surprise when he sees me. He swings the door open, reaches out, and wraps his hand around my waist pulling me inside.
He shuts and locks the door behind us then gently pushes my back against the cool metal. He leans his entire body into mine as his warm breath washes over my skin causing me to shiver. “Am I dreaming?”
I lift my arms around his neck and pull him so close that his hips press against me when I rise up on my toes to meet his lips. “Hi,” I whisper.
“Hi yourself,” he murmurs against my mouth then kisses me so deep it leaves me breathless by the time he pulls away. “To what do I owe this surprise?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” I say, looking up at him through my lashes because I know it drives him crazy. “I hope it’s okay?” He licks his lips and the look in his eyes tells me it’s more than okay.
“I was actually just thinking about you, and now I have the real thing,” Lane says, taking my hand and leading me up the stairs. I’m surprised to see a blanket laid out on the floor when we get into the warm cozy room at the top. Two small pillows are propped up against the wall and Lane’s iPod sits on top of a few scattered car magazines.
“We’re not allowed to sleep while working, but we keep some blankets and pillows in the storage room down stairs. Sitting in that chair,” Lane gestures to the small wooden chair next to the desk, “gets old. Fast.” And as if to prove his point, he twists back and forth cracking the vertebrae in his back.
“Ouch,” I offer as Lane sits down on the blanket.
“I’m better now that you’re here.” He winks before taking my hand and gently pulling me down on the blanket too. Smooth.
“So… you were just thinking about me, huh?” I ask, raising my eyebrows in jest.
“Baby, I’m always thinking about you,” he answers without an ounce of teasing in his voice. His honesty makes me melt like honey as I lay my head on his chest, wrap my arms around his stomach and breathe in a sigh of contentment. This is exactly where I want to be.
Lane wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head. “So, how long can you stay?” he asks, pulling a blanket over us, warming me instantly.
“I snuck out, so I guess as late as I want, or until it gets light out.”
“Well, well, well,” Lane clucks. “I sure hope you don’t get caught. I have a feeling this sudden change in behavior, might just be attributed to me,” he says jokingly, but it’s true. I am changing.
We lay quietly staring out the large glass windows at the twinkling stars. “Make a wish,” I say when a shooting star streaks across the sky.
“Already came true,” Lane whispers, running his fingers down my exposed arm.
I prop my head on his shoulder, so we’re face to face, and smile. “Mine too.”
“Baby, thank you again for coming over and having dinner with my family earlier. It meant a lot to me and them.” He looks into my eyes, and I can feel how much it really did mean to him, and it makes me smile.
“I loved meeting them too. Your mom and Irene are so nice, and Grandpa Frank is a riot. Being around your grandpa tonight made me miss my grandfather so much, they are a lot alike actually,” I say, my heart clinching that I’ll never get to introduce Lane to him. “He passed earlier this year. I think you would have liked him, and he would have liked you too.”
“Yeah?” Lane says, adjusting so we’re lying down and my chin is now resting on his chest.
“Yeah.” I close my eyes and think about him. “All my favorite memories are from spending the summers here with him. He loved this island so much. He lived south of town overlooking Nantucket, and when I was really little, maybe six or seven, we would sail out and around the island, and he would always let me steer. Called me Captain Whitmore and followed all my orders, even when I made him wear a princess crown,” I say, remembering it like it was yesterday.
“Then when we would get home he’d read to me ‘The Twelve Dancing Princesses’, my favorite fairy tale, and I would act out all the dances as he read aloud until I was so sleepy that I would crawl into his lap and fall asleep. It’s actually the reason I started to dance,” I say, smiling that I’m able to share these memories with Lane.
“Will you dance at school?”
I shake my head. “It’s hard to imagine not dancing anymore since I’ve been doing it so long,” I say. “But my parents only let me do ballet because it would look good on my college applications as an extracurricular. Otherwise they think it’s a waste of time.” I shrug. “That’s why I never even broached the subject of applying to conservatories instead of conventional colleges. There’s no way my parents would even entertain the idea, especially if I wanted to change from classical ballet to something as uncouth as contemporary.”
“But you were incredible.” Lane runs his hand through my hair causing goose bumps to spread across my skin. “Maybe you can take some classes at Yale? I’m sure they offer something. The course catalogue is huge.”
“Not likely. My parents already picked all my courses for the fall. They wanted to make sure that I didn’t get side tracked with any ‘unnecessary classes that didn’t meet their standards.’ Their words, not mine,” I scoff.
“Seriously?”
“Completely.”
“Well, you won’t mind if I’m not in a rush to meet the folks will you?”
“Why do you think I haven’t broached the subject yet?” I say with a smile, nudging him in the stomach. Lane laughs then pokes my side just above my hip where I’m most ticklish. My laughing only eggs him on more, until I can hardly breathe.
“Please. I. Can’t. Breathe.” I beg between fits of giggles. When he finally stops his relentless assault I’m able to take a few deep breaths before I try and tickle him back.
“Oh, no, you don’t.” He moves with lighting fast reflexes, grabbing my hands and pulling me on top of him. Which is not such a bad place to be.
Our laughter completely dies as my body presses firmly against his.
He reaches up and pushes my hair from my face. His fingers
brush down my cheeks until he cups my face in his hands. I close my eyes and let him guide me closer, our lips finding each other easily.
My hands travel down the length of his chest and abdomen before I reach back up and rake them through his hair. The movement of my body against his elicits a quiet moan, making my stomach coil. I get lost in his touch as he trails his lips down my neck. His hands roam the curves of my body, up my spine and into my hair while I greedily pull myself against him again and again until our breaths are labored.
“I think. We need. To slow down,” I hear him say between the kisses he’s leaving across my collar bone and down my shoulder, the thin white strap of my nightgown slipping off. “Or… I’m not sure I’ll be able to.”
He’s right.
I stop moving, and we both take a few much needed breaths as we press our foreheads together. I think he can read my mind because I’m not sure I would have been able to stop either. It takes another minute before I push my body off of his so that I’m curled against his side, my head resting on his chest again.
I listen as his heart, and my breathing both eventually go back to normal, but the sensation on my skin where his hands and lips touched still tingles.
“That. Was…” I smile against his chest because I know exactly what he means even though he doesn’t finish his sentence.
“You can say that again.”
“Wow.” He’s still a little breathless, and it makes me giggle.
I lay in his arms until I feel myself starting to drift off. I rub my eyes to stay awake and find Lane looking at me with a content smile on his face while faint streaks of orange and pink light up the early dawn sky.
“I have to go,” I say reluctantly, wishing I could stay in his arms all night long.
Lane places a finger under my chin and lifts my head up to meet his, looking deep into my eyes. His kiss leaves me speechless in its sincerity. No more words are necessary tonight anyway. He unwraps his arms from around my body, and I immediately hate the rising sun, blaming it for the loss of his touch.