by Harper Bliss
Across the table, I catch Eva’s glance. She quirks up her eyebrows.
“Martha’s husband left her for a younger woman. How decent is that?” Sheryl won’t let up.
“It all worked out for the better,” Martha says, her tone peace-seeking. “Look at me now?” She turns to Amber, making Amber shuffle around nervously in her chair. Those two.
“My boyfriend is a feminist,” Eva declares.
“This begs the question: can a man ever truly be a feminist?” Caitlin asks.
The waiter comes out of the kitchen carrying a few plates. “Ready for dessert, ladies?” he asks.
“Why don’t we ask him?” Eva says.
I can see the poor man’s limbs stiffen. He deposits a plate with a fancy-looking dessert in front of Eva. “Carl, was it?” she asks. “Are you a feminist?”
Truth be told, I hadn’t paid Carl much attention before. Put on the spot like that, he looks more like a boy than a man.
“Of course I am, Madam,” he says. “Please enjoy your dessert.”
“Good answer, Carl,” Caitlin says as he goes back into the kitchen to fetch more plates. “Please don’t drag the poor waiter into this,” she says to Eva.
“Why not?” Eva has already tucked into her dessert even though most of the table hasn’t received theirs yet. The champagne seems to be catching up with her quickly.
“I’ve got this.” Sheryl rises and walks over to our end of the table. She puts a hand on Eva’s shoulder. “Come on you, let’s get some air.”
Glassy-eyed, Eva looks up at her. “Really?”
“Yes.” Even when heavily under the influence of alcohol, Sheryl’s natural authority is not something easily disobeyed. Eva had her as a teacher for long enough to know. She follows Sheryl onto the balcony.
“I’m sorry. She’s had a bit too much,” I say.
“It’s Carl’s own fault for having such a heavy pouring hand,” Caitlin says, a smile on her face.
Amid the ruckus of Carl serving dessert to the other end of the table, Caitlin leans toward to me, and asks, “How about you Josephine? Have you ever found a man feminist enough to be with?”
“Me?” I shake my head. “Even before I knew I was into girls, boys never paid me much attention.” Looks like I might have had a few too many bubbles myself, otherwise I would never have said that.
“Fools,” Caitlin says, stirring up something lustful inside me again.
I feel emboldened enough to contemplate asking the same question of Caitlin, but Sheryl comes back in, Eva leaning on her heavily.
“She needs to lie down a bit. Can I put her in the guest room, Caitlin?”
“Sure.”
“Let me take care of her.” I push my chair back and rush to Sheryl’s side. Eva is my responsibility. And Sheryl is the last person who should be taking care of my intoxicated friend. I support Eva from the other side. The outside air must have knocked her out. Her head rolls onto my shoulder. Luckily, she’s about a third of my size and I can easily carry her.
“Where’s the guest room, please?” I ask.
“I’ll show you.” Caitlin gets up.
“I’m sorry again. She’s such a lightweight.”
I stretch Eva out onto the bed.
“It happens to the best of us,” Caitlin says, and gives me a light pat on the shoulder. “I’ll get her some water.” She disappears into the ensuite bathroom.
“She was so excited to meet you,” I say when Caitlin returns.
“Take a deep breath, Josephine.” Caitlin puts the water on the nightstand, then turns to me. The room is lit only by whatever light comes in through the window. Caitlin is so close and I suddenly realize we’re standing in a bedroom together, only a few inches separating us. “It’s all right and it’s not your fault.”
“Thank you for inviting me.” I want to keep her in this room with me.
“We’re friends now, aren’t we?” Caitlin says, slanting her head to the side, exposing her long neck.
I nod and swallow. I seem to have lost the power of speech for a moment.
“I’m glad,” Caitlin says, and touches her hand against my arm again. The contact shoots through me like an electric current and jolts me out of my mesmerized state.
“I should never have—” I start to say.
“Everything okay in here?” Zoya peeks her head into the room and the moment is gone.
“Fine.” I straighten my spine. “She’ll just need to sleep it off.” My brain goes from romantic mode into practical mode as I start wondering how the hell I’m going to get Eva home.
After everyone has left—including the chef, Carl, and Zoya—and with Eva still sleeping soundly in Caitlin’s guest room, we sit on the balcony overlooking the city.
“You can catch a glimpse of the opera house if you crane your neck this way,” Caitlin says.
After what happened with Eva I declined any further alcoholic beverages and I’ve started to sober up. The state I was in earlier, when I was about to confess to Caitlin that I should never have rebuffed her advances in the first place, seems far away. I still feel the same, increasingly so with every minute I spend in her company, but the words have long gone.
“It’s beautiful.”
“You can stay the night if you want to. The bed in the other room is made up.”
“So many rooms in this place.”
Caitlin chuckles. She’s far more tipsy than I am at this point. “I know. And for what?”
“Drunken admirers who fall asleep, of course.”
Caitlin tips her head in agreement. “Did you have a good time tonight?”
I nod. “It was lovely.”
“I know she’s going to regret it in the morning, but I’m glad your friend is out cold in my guest room. It gives us a chance to chat some more. And…” She angles her chair more in my direction. “Perhaps you can sing me a song now. Just for me. No one else.”
I smile shyly. I want for Caitlin to keep looking at me the way she’s looking at me now. Her eyes full of expectation and laughter. But there’s no way I’m going to sing for her.
“I—I can’t.”
“Why? Your voice doesn’t work when I’m listening?” She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip.
“Something like that.” Something inside me shifts. Maybe she’s only flirting with me because she’s tipsy, but it doesn’t matter. It feels the same to me. “Maybe some other time.”
“Maybe.” She shrugs.
“Can I ask you something?” This, at least, I need to know.
“Shoot.” Caitlin draws her legs onto the chair and wraps her arms around her knees.
“Are you and Zoya, er, a thing?”
“Me and Zoya?” She huffs out a chuckle. “God no. Zoya is still very heart-broken about the end of her relationship. Sixteen years they were together, she and Rebecca. Can you imagine that?”
“She didn’t look very heart-broken to me.”
“We don’t always show what we feel, do we?”
“True enough.”
“Why did you ask? About me and Zoya?” Her eyes are narrowed to slits.
“Just curious.”
“Did you just want to change the subject from you singing for me?”
“I wish Eva hadn’t said anything.”
“Ah, Eva. Responsible for many things tonight.”
“I should probably call Declan. Have him pick us up.”
“Just let her sleep here. It’s fine.” She draws her lips into a smile. “That way you get to stay a little longer as well.”
“Caitlin, I…”
“I’m sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable? I do remember I told you that I was going to back off. But Eva isn’t the only one who’s had a bit too much.”
“I want to go out with you,” I blurt out. It comes out all wrong again—not even like a question—but at least I said it.
The clatter of glass inside startles us.
“Sleeping beauty must be awake,” Caitlin says.
<
br /> I’ve already risen from my chair and am halfway inside.
“Jo? Are we still at Caitlin’s house?” Eva asks. “I’m so very sorry. I broke a glass.”
“Let me get that.” I put Eva in a chair and scrape the shards of glass together while my mind races. I just sort of asked Caitlin out. What is she going to reply? She was flirting with me. I wasn’t imagining that. I’m sure of it.
“Can we go home now?” Eva asks.
“I’ll get you girls an Uber,” Caitlin says and starts fidgeting with her phone. “Aren’t they the best invention ever?”
We say goodbye, Eva barely able to make eye contact with Caitlin.
“I’ll pay you back for the Uber on Monday,” I say.
“How about you take me out on that date instead?” The bell announcing the elevator pings just as Caitlin kisses me on the cheek.
Chapter Eleven
“Did you and Eva get home okay?” Micky asks. “Or did you have to spend the night?” She smirks at me.
“We got home just fine, thank you.” Although it hasn’t been formally set up yet, I’m bursting with glee about my upcoming date with Caitlin. “And I asked Caitlin out.”
She gives me an incredulous stare for a split second, then says, “About bloody time.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, come on, Jo. Don’t tell me you only just this weekend noticed she has been flirting her socks off with you.”
“We do have a certain… rapport.” I can’t stop grinning.
“Chemistry, more like.”
“Just don’t go shouting it off the rooftops, okay? I know you and your big mouth. I’m surprised you haven’t yelled it out to Kristin yet.”
“I promise, my dearest Josephine. My lips are sealed. But you have to promise to give me all the details. When is this highly anticipated event taking place?”
“Not sure yet. I guess we’ll set it up today.”
“I’ll be sure to give you lots of space when she comes in.”
“Thanks.” I lean against the counter and look at Micky.
“I know what you’re thinking, Jo. This place has been a godsend for both our love lives.”
“Let’s not get too carried away. For you, yes. For me, we’ll see. How is Robin, by the way? Any news about her immigration status?”
“As long as Goodwin Stark keeps sponsoring her, she can stay. We should be good for the near future, though when you depend on a corporate institution for your partner to remain in the country, it’s not the most comforting thought. She has a contract, but contracts can so easily be broken.”
“I hope it works out for her. And you.”
“Meanwhile, I just need to have as much hot sex with my CrossFitting girlfriend as I can.”
I roll my eyes. “You’ve changed, you know that?”
“I don’t think I’ve changed so much as come into my own. I was always like this, but when we first met I was too intimidated by you to reveal my true self.”
“Oh, lay off, Micky.”
“It’s true. When I first met you I was just beginning my career as a Pink Bean barista—though barista is a big word for it because I didn’t know how to work the coffee machine. Being introduced to one of Sheryl’s brilliant TAs who knew how to make the perfect wet cap was very intimidating indeed. I was a divorced housewife who’d never worked a day in her life.”
“And you were so very deep in the closet. It’s been an honor to have witnessed your transition. Though, at times, I feel like you might have grown too confident.”
Micky slaps her towel against my thigh and laughs. “You haven’t even gone on a date with Caitlin yet and your arrogance has grown out of proportion already. God knows how insufferable you’ll be once you’ve actually gone out with her.”
“Not nearly as insufferable as you, I’m sure.” I grin, enjoying our banter.
“I hope you’ll never forget who actually gave you the courage to go up to Caitlin and get your books signed. On top of that, I did your back a big favor because you didn’t have to carry around an assortment of feminist literature anymore. Don’t I deserve a little bit of gratitude?”
I chuckle. The effect of love has been unmistakable on Micky. Infectious at times. At twenty-eight, I haven’t been very lucky in the romance department yet. I think of the main reason my previous relationships didn’t work out as expected—and one of the main contributors to my decision to cancel my previous date with Caitlin. Maybe with her—with the right person—it will be different. But I’m getting way ahead of myself.
“Does your new-found confidence mean you’re going to sing on Friday?” Micky asks.
“No, of course not. One doesn’t have anything to do with the other.”
“Give me a break.” Micky puts her hands on her hips defiantly. “I bet you a full week of cleaning the coffee machine that in less than a month’s time, you’ll be singing your heart out in front of all of us.”
“Fine.” I hold out my hand. “Let’s shake on it.” Though I’m certain of my case—I know myself much better than Micky does—I’m glad we’re not betting actual money, only the most annoying task that comes with our job.
“Such commotion behind the counter. Please put some of that energy into my flat white.” Out of nowhere, Caitlin appears in front of us. She’s earlier than usual.
“Where did you come from?” Micky asks.
“Same place as every other human being, dear Michaela,” Caitlin says. “I just brought some books up to Sheryl and snuck in through the back,” she says to me.
“Go on. Sit down. I’ll be on flat white duty today.” Micky winks at me.
After we’ve both sat down, I give Caitlin a shy, “Hey.” The new-found confidence I just displayed to Micky seems to have evaporated. Caitlin was quite tipsy last Saturday. She could have changed her mind.
“How’s Eva?” she asks.
“Good as new today, I suspect. Not so good yesterday. But Declan took excellent care of her.”
“Ah, to have a partner to refresh the damp washcloth on your forehead when hungover,” Caitlin says. “A pleasure totally foreign to me, I must admit.”
I nod, just so that I don’t have to admit such small, intimate kindnesses are just as alien to me.
“Here you go, ladies. I’ll leave you to it.” Micky brings our beverages.
“She looks like she knows something,” Caitlin says after Micky has left.
“Working in a coffee shop makes one very observant.”
“You should know,” Caitlin says and smiles. “Back in the day when I was a grad student, I could get by on the measly stipend offered by the university. It wasn’t much, but if I was careful, it was enough. I’m sorry things have changed so much.”
“Back in the day?” I cock my head.
“Does that make me sound much older than I am?”
“I love working here. I make extra by being Sheryl’s TA as well. But I have more expenses than most.” I quickly correct myself. “Eva seems to get by just fine.” I don’t want to burden Caitlin with my family situation. We’ll need to go on quite a few dates before I tell her about that.
“She sure likes to gulp down other people’s champagne.”
“She sends her deepest apologies, by the way.”
Caitlin waves it off. “Speaking of that night.”
“Yes.” My heart picks up speed.
“You said something rather startling,” she teases.
“I understand if you’ve changed your mind. After all, I’ve changed mine twice now.”
“Today’s youth. So erratic.” Caitlin pushes a strand of hair behind her ear.
“For the record, I’d still very much like to go out with you.”
“Good.” Caitlin picks up her coffee and peers at me over the rim of the cup. “When?”
“Friday?” I suggest.
“Isn’t that the open mic night?”
“Yes, so?”
“I’ve never been to one.”
“I’m not going to sing.”
“I know.” She takes a sip and puts her cup back down. “Can we go out on a school night?”
“I’m below thirty and you’re a lady of leisure. I don’t see why not.”
“You’ve grown feistier already.” She grins.
“How about Wednesday evening?”
Caitlin nods. “Sounds good. I can Uber over to your neighborhood if you like.”
“You seem really smitten with Uber.” I chuckle.
“I just love practical innovations like that.”
“Give me your number and I’ll tell you where to meet.”
“You’re not going to invite me for drinks at your no-doubt wonderful student accommodation first?”
This makes me think of the agreement Eva and I made about making Wednesday nights girls’ nights at our apartment. I figure she won’t mind—and she owes me for making a fool of herself at Caitlin’s place.
“I couldn’t possibly. Not after having been invited to your swanky digs.”
“Don’t fret, Josephine. I was just like you once. I lived in the same neighborhood and had the same job.”
“That might be true, yet I think your post-grad life was very different from mine.”
“Sheryl and I were around your age when she fell in love with Kristin. We didn’t live together like you and Eva, but we spent most of our free time together, planning to overthrow the patriarchy.” She leans back in her seat. “It was an adjustment when her relationship with Kristin suddenly became more important than our friendship.” Caitlin looks up, her gaze trailing behind me.
“My ears are ringing.” I easily recognize Sheryl’s voice.
“I was just telling Josephine about how as soon as true love came along, you left your best friend without a wing woman at the many parties we attended back then.” She turns to me. “You don’t seem to party nearly as much as we did back in the day.”
“What Caitlin calls a party,” Sheryl pulls up chair, “were mostly meetings of the university’s Lesbian Association, which, admittedly, frequently got out of hand.”
“Still,” Caitlin says, a warm smile on her face.
I wonder if Eva and I will still be friends like this in twenty years’ time.