“What else does he have going on besides the NBC deal?”
“Well, I’m talking to Subway right now, and maybe we’ll think about going on a speaking tour.”
“Steph, you’re insane, you know that?”
“I prefer to think of myself as inspired,” she says.
Later that same week, I’m walking a golden retriever, a poodle, and a Jack Russell terrier when I nearly collide with Ron. I haven’t seen him since the back of the squad car, and he looks almost dressed up, wearing pants with sewn hems, a shirt that doesn’t have holes in it, and mirrored sunglasses. Even his bleached blond hair looks properly highlighted and conditioned.
“Jane, I have been looking all over for you,” he says.
“Back away from me,” I say. “I don’t want to be arrested again.”
“I am SO sorry about that,” Ron says. “Really, I am. I feel terrible. Let me make it up to you.”
Ron pulls a wad of cash from his giant pocket. He counts out ten slightly soggy $100 bills.
“I can’t take your drug money,” I protest, trying to put up a noble fight.
“It’s not drug money, dude,” he says. “It’s royalty money and you earned it with your CD cover. Besides, I owe you bail money. The arrest really helped me start a buzz about Sink Gunk.”
I forgot that jail time usually improves record sales.
Ron’s band Sink Gunk, he tells me, has managed to make the Billboard Top 50 with their single, “Love Bites Like Drano,” and are soon to go on a national tour, hitting twenty-five major cities.
“Wow,” I say, taking the money and folding the bills into my pocket. “Nice work.”
“Have you heard from Missy?” Ron asks me.
“No,” I say.
“I heard from a friend of a friend that she moved to New Mexico. I think she’s starting her own cult or something. A commune of some kind.”
“She’s probably just looking for a new way to steal money,” I say.
“I think she was my soul mate,” Ron sighs.
I roll my eyes.
“Look, love is blind, dude, OK?”
“Whatever,” I say.
“Anyway, I also wanted to get your email address and phone number. There’s this graphic design guy who’s totally hot for your album cover, and he wants to talk to you about some other gig.”
I hug Ron.
“Hey, babe, I told you we’re just friends,” he says, putting up his hands.
“It’s not sexual,” I snap.
“Whatever you want to tell yourself, babe,” he says.
To: [email protected]
From: Pierre and Friends Graphic Design
Sent: 06/01/02
Dear Jane,
I am a freelance designer who works for Millennium Records, the record company that signed Sink Gunk.
After looking at your design for Sink Gunk’s album cover, I’d like you to consider the possibility of interviewing for a graphic design position I have open in my firm.
If you’re interested, please fax me your resume and we can go from there.
Sincerely,
Pierre Lamont
23
There’s a message on Dad’s answering machine for me when I get home and I am momentarily frozen by the sound of a French accent. Thankfully, it isn’t Landlord Bob, who every now and again makes an appearance in my dreams wearing his pink bathrobe.
No, this is Pierre Lamont, art director, who wants to meet me for an interview that afternoon.
When I meet Pierre Lamont I notice two things right away: his permanent five o’clock shadow and the cigarette butt hanging from his lip. Immediately, he offers me one of his unfiltered cigarettes to smoke in his office, and I think I might have found my dream boss.
“You are good with lines,” he grunts. “I like a woman who knows her lines, eh?”
His accent is much softer than Landlord Bob’s, and I am relieved to find that not all Frenchmen shout.
“So, you up for some work, eh?” he asks me. “We do lots of CD covers zere, and concert posters and invitations — just a little bit of everyzing. I hope you like to be creative. We need creative work zere.”
I nod. So far, so good. I like the idea of working in a place where I can be creative, where I can do something more demanding than designing Post-it notes.
“So. Zere’s how it works, OK? I hire you for three months. I pay you, and if I like you, you get to stay on, OK?”
As I watch, Pierre stubs out his cigarette in a pile of wrinkled up pieces of paper, completely oblivious to any fire hazards, and immediately lights up another.
“I work by French hours here, so that’s thirty hours a week, no more,” he says. “Overtime is American, yes? We French work smart, not hard.”
I am liking him more and more already.
“If you are hired on permanently, you get insurance, 401k, and six weeks vacation a year.”
Pierre puffs on his cigarette, letting this sink in. I must look as shocked as I feel, because Pierre is quick to add, “I know vacation seems short, but after awhile, maybe we bump it up to eight weeks.”
Short? Six weeks is short? My hands are shaking from sheer excitement.
“And I don’t like working in August, yes? I go home to France in August.”
“I’d be happy to cover then,” I say.
“Cover?” Pierre coughs. Smoke comes out of his nose. “No need to cover. Office shuts down for August. But the bad thing is, you have to come to Paris for a couple of weeks so you can meet my partner.”
“So, let me get this straight,” I say. “If I work for you, I get to go to Paris. I get August off, and six additional weeks during the year?”
Pierre nods.
“But maybe we move that up to eight after you work here a while,” he says.
I am fighting the strong urge to leap over the desk and kiss him on the lips.
“When can I start?” I ask, almost too eagerly, like the kid who always knew all the answers in class.
“Eh, whenever you’d like.” He shrugs. “Two weeks? Three? I call you, yes?”
“You won’t regret it,” I say eagerly, like a college freshman, shaking his hand.
Two weeks later, I move out of my parents’ house and into my new, smaller, more financially responsible apartment. It doesn’t have its own washer and dryer. In fact, it’s more of a studio than a one-bedroom, but at this point, I have no furniture to put in it, anyway.
But I don’t care. If I’ve learned anything from the last six months, it’s that you can’t always control everything about your life, and that losing a job or your apartment isn’t the end of the world. Life goes on, and that’s a good thing.
Also, I’m trying to learn to be less critical. After all, hating things is a lot easier than admitting to what you like. And being critical of the whole world means, in most cases, being most critical of yourself. I’ve decided to give myself, and the world, a break for once. And no matter what, I’m never going to let work get so personal again. I’ve more than learned my lesson.
And, you can’t keep people out forever. Eventually, one or two of them might get in and hurt you, despite all your best efforts, and this is OK, too, because it’s better to put yourself out there and get hurt than to never take the chance at all.
Kyle has promised to rent a truck and take me “shopping” at the annual Clean-Up Week in Winnetka, which is when all the wealthy people put out furniture on the curb and everyone else snatches it up. It’s like a flea market, only it’s free, and the merchandise is all Room and Board and Restoration Hardware.
Kyle, in fact, has taken Ron’s place as the perennial squatter in my new digs, but I don’t mind, because Kyle insists on paying for take-out, since my new budget doesn’t allow for much eating out, digital cable, or buying any new clothes, shoes, or purses until I’m sixty-five. But it’s not all bad. There’s Kyle to keep me entertained, and besides, not having cable gives me more time to paint, which I love. Kyle has be
en my major subject for the most part, and he is now the star fixture in a new series of collage portraits I’m doing. I’ve even been thinking of trying to get a gallery show of my paintings, which just goes to show that being laid off and committing felonies can really inspire a person to get motivated, to have some real ambition.
In two months, I’m going to Paris, and Kyle has threatened to follow me to watch me paint. He has only one stipulation — that while I work I wear my Elvis Costello glasses and nothing else.
Up Close and Personal With the Author
WHAT IS THE INSPIRATION FOR PINK SLIP PARTY?
Two years ago, several friends of mine suffered through some serious layoffs, and I wanted to write a book for them. Losing your job can feel like losing your identity. One day you’re a “consultant” or a “programmer” or a “publicist” and the next day, you’re “someone looking for a job.” It can change how you see yourself, and how other people see you. Also, I think next to love interests and friends, a job is a central focus of a twenty-or thirty-something’s life.
THERE ARE A COUPLE OF INSTANCES IN THE BOOK WHERE BEING LAID OFF IS COMPARED TO HAVING A BAD BREAK-UP. WHY DO YOU THINK THE TWO ARE SO SIMILAR?
I think many women can take the loss of a job in the same way they take the loss of a boyfriend. You feel rejected, in the same way that you do when someone tells you they don’t want to be in a relationship with you. The excuse that a layoff is not necessarily related to job performance has the same false ring that “It’s not you, it’s me” does. I think losing your job often feels like a personal rejection, and it makes you go through the same steps you would in recovering from a bad break-up. You will be asking yourself “why” and trying to figure out what to do next.
IN THE BOOK, JANE HAS TWO PERSONAL REJECTIONS — THE LOSS OF HER JOB, AND OF HER BOYFRIEND, WHO IS AN EXECUTIVE AT THE OFFICE WHERE SHE USED TO WORK.
I think many people have experienced workplace romances. While I think most women understand the perils of dating someone at work, it’s almost impossible to avoid. Work is a natural place to find romance. You spend most of your time there, and when you’re there you’re trying to perform at your best. It’s a far less intimidating place to find romance than a local bar or online. Also, I think Jane becoming personally involved at work illustrates a common problem for women in the workplace. Women in particular often have a hard time separating the personal from the professional. It’s one reason why women take career setbacks so personally, because they’ve invested so much of themselves, personally and professionally, in their jobs.
JANE WASN’T THAT THRILLED WITH THE JOB SHE LOST AND PART OF HER JOURNEY THROUGH THE BOOK IS TO FIND SOMETHING SHE FINDS MORE FULFILLING. WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?
As Americans, I think we relate to our jobs very differently than other people in the world. We have a famous work ethic, and we instinctively let our jobs define who we are. For most of us, work isn’t just a paycheck, it’s an identity. This relationship is even more complicated for workers in their twenties and thirties. We’re part of a generation, I think, where many of our parents told us to do what makes us happy. This is quite a challenging task. Not only are we supposed to find work, but we’re supposed to find work that’s satisfying. If you can’t do both, somehow you’re failing. But finding what you love to do and what pays the bills aren’t always going to be the same thing. Jane finds a nice balance by the end of the book, and I think it’s a balance that many of us seek in our own lives.
JANE HAS A COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP WITH HER FATHER. HOW DO YOU THINK THAT RELATIONSHIP INFLUENCES THE WAY SHE APPROACHES HER LAYOFF?
In Jane’s family, her dad was the major breadwinner for most of her life, and her example of how a career should be managed. But his view of the workforce is a bit dated. Jane’s dad is only just becoming disillusioned with corporate America, whereas Jane always doubted the sincerity of corporate management. I think they ultimately help each other come to terms with the new economy.
HOW MUCH IS JANE LIKE YOU?
The book is not autobiographical. I never broke into a company that wronged me (although I would have liked to), but certainly there is some of me in Jane. We share a similar sense of humor and some of the same opinions, but Jane is far more confident about expressing hers publicly than I am. I’d like to have some of Jane’s confidence, especially when it comes to confronting landlords.
IN BOTH OF YOUR NOVELS, I DO (BUT I DON’T) AND PINK SLIP PARTY, HUMOR PLAYS A ROLE IN YOUR STORYTELLING. WHAT DO YOU FIND FUNNY AND WHERE DO YOU GET INSPIRATION FOR WRITING HUMOR?
Humor is a very tricky thing to write, mostly because it’s nearly impossible to get two people to agree on what’s funny. I find lots of things funny. I grew up in a household where there was a lot of laughter and joking around about a wide variety of things. We were the sort of family — my brother Matt and I especially — who’d mimic Saturday Night Live skits long after they wore out their funniness. In fact, when I was three, I retold my first knock-knock joke over and over and over again. My parents, who deserve the World’s Most Patient People award, would play along every time. So, developing a sense of humor starts early. Writing funny prose is challenging and I think having a balance of different kinds of humor (from sarcasm to physical comedy) is important, but actually succeeding in making someone laugh out loud is very difficult. At times, you’re going to fall flat, especially if it’s your hundredth retelling of a fruit-themed knock-knock joke. But you should keep trying.
SOME WRITERS HAVE WRITING SCHEDULES. OTHERS WRITE ONLY WHEN THE SPIRIT MOVES THEM. HOW DO YOU WRITE?
I try to write a little bit almost every day, even on days when I’m not feeling too inspired. I don’t always manage to meet this goal. I’m as guilty as anyone at getting sucked into watching The E! True Hollywood Story when I really ought to be working. However, I think any little work you can do helps. Writing a novel is like running a marathon. You train for it little by little, and you only get there running one mile at a time.
DO YOU WORK FROM AN OUTLINE? DO YOU HAVE THE ENTIRE STORY PLANNED IN ADVANCE?
I have major plot points planned, but as far as some of the details in many of the chapters, those I tend to improvise. And I’ve found that stories often change from initial outlines. When you get into the middle of a book, and you really feel like you know your characters even better than you did when you started, then some of the plot may seem weak or implausible. Or, you may simply become inspired to take the plot in a new direction. The great thing about fiction, and what separates it from nonfiction, is that radical changes in plot are possible and often make the story stronger.
WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BECOME WRITERS?
I do believe in the adage write what you know. But I think what’s more important is to write about what you find interesting. If you or your friends are interested in the subject and story, then chances are, other people will be, too. Books need readers, especially if you want to publish your book some day. The vast majority of writers are entertainers, and entertainers need audiences.
eBook Info
Title:
Pink Slip Party
Creator:
Cara Lockwood
Date:
2004
Type:
novel
Format:
text/html
Identifier:
ISBN 0-7434-8883-0
Source:
PDF
Language:
en
Relation:
None
Coverage:
None
Rights:
Copyright © 2004 by Cara Lockwood
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter
11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Up Close and Personal With the Author
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Up Close and Personal With the Author
Pink Slip Party Page 25