With Regrets Adam

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by Adam (lit)


  * * * *

  The scene was hideous. She was bound hand and foot, balanced on the edge of a bottomless pit. Behind her, wild, hysterical laughter contributed to the madness. Around her, lights flashed and eyes glowed red. Hands on her back prepared to shove just as a car rounded the curve and headed straight for her. She jerked her hands to cover her face, but they were tied.

  She screamed.

  Hands held her tightly and voices called, but she was beyond frightened. She fought her hands free and screamed. And screamed.

  “Kara, Kara. Wake up. For God’s sake, Kara, come on, Baby, wake up.” Adam’s voice penetrated her consciousness. Her hands grabbed at him, fingers curled into claws, ready to scratch whatever she could touch. “Honey.” His arms went around her and she collapsed, sobbing, on his shoulder. He murmured soft words, talked soothingly all the while rubbing her arms and back as she held onto him. “Baby, it’s all right. It was just a dream.”

  She shuddered. “I dreamed. I thought.” She pulled back and looked up at him. Her eyes widened. “Adam, oh, Adam, I’m so sorry.” Her eyes filled with tears and spilled down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. So sorry.”

  “Nothing to be sorry about, Sweetheart. You’re safe. It was a bad dream.” He cuddled her. “Must have been the medication. Should have given you just one of those pills, maybe.”

  “No. No. You don’t understand.” She trembled and her hands tightened in the shirt he’d pulled on. “It’s Aaron. He’s. He’s. Kara.” Blue eyes swimming in tears pleaded with him. “It’s both of them.”

  Adam stiffened. “Kara? What about Aaron?”

  She closed her eyes but the nightmarish picture wouldn’t disappear.

  “I’m Lyn, Adam. I know who I am. I remember. I’m Lyn Sands, registered nurse, the one you kidnapped from the parking lot of the hospital where I work in Albuquerque.” Her voice grew stronger as she spoke.

  Adam shook himself as though coming from underwater. “What do you remember about Aaron?” His voice had grown cold and distant. “Where is he?”

  “Adam.” She swallowed hard. “Adam, Aaron is. I saw them. The car went over the side of the mountain, and ....”

  “What the hell are you talking about? Don’t give me crap about a dream telling you this.”

  “I dreamed, but I saw them. It was so real. It has to be true. They’re out there. You have to believe me.”

  “I’ve never believed a word you’ve said, Kara.” He pushed her down on the pillow and leaned over her. “Go ahead. Give me the spiel you’ve thought of to justify your so-called amnesia. You’ve known all the time, haven’t you? You know where he is.” He grabbed her and shook her. “Where, dammit, where is he?”

  Lyn winced. “You’re hurting me.”

  “Not as much as I want to, believe me.” He shoved her away from him. “Go ahead. Tell me.”

  She closed her eyes. “I saw them. The car. Aaron was driving a light blue SUV with a silver streak down the side. A Texas license plate.”

  His mouth twisted with derision. “Sure. You saw him a couple weeks ago in a blue Jaguar with Texas license plates. Stands to reason your dream would see that.”

  “You don’t understand.” She rubbed her eyes and used the edge of the sheet to wipe away tears. “You must listen, Adam. It was a nightmare, but it was so plain. Please, Adam.”

  He was calmer now as he watched her shiver, saw how jittery she was. “No, I don’t understand, but I will listen. Explain.”

  “They’re near Crater Lake.”

  “Crater Lake? Where the hell is that?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know for sure but I think it’s in Oregon. I’ve never been in that state.”

  “You’ve never been there but suddenly you see clearly a car leaving the highway going over the side of a mountain.”

  “I don’t know why I dreamed it, Adam, but they were traveling and ....”

  He stared. “Kara.”

  “Lyn. I think you know by now that I’m Lyn, not Kara.”

  “Whoever you are.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I must be in your bad dream because I feel like screaming. Dammit.” He leaned over her again. She shrank back, her eyes wide and dark. “I’m not going to hurt you. Go on.”

  “I have to think.” She squeezed her eyes closed, and then opened them wide to watch him. “The car was going too fast around a curve. I don’t know if it hit ice or just skidded. I, there aren’t any, I don’t see any skid marks.” She shook her head and held out her hands to him. “It sounds phony, Adam, but it isn’t. Believe me. You must.”

  “You’re making this up as you go.”

  Frustrated, she shouted. “I’m not. Listen to me.” She reached for him, but he drew away. It hurt, and it showed in her eyes. This man had made love to her, held her close, cuddled her, comforted her as she lay in the hospital. But now.

  A loud banging on the door made Adam swear.

  “Adam. Boss. Are you all right? What’s going on?”

  Adam got off the bed and went to the door and opened it to face Garth and Hana, both wearing frightened expressions.

  “I was out by the wood pile and heard yelling. What’s happening?” Garth said.

  “Both of you come on in. Kara. Lyn, she says, has a wild story you need to hear.”

  “Lyn?” It was Hana who questioned them.

  She held up her hand before Adam could speak. “Yes, I’m Lyn. I’ve tried to tell you for days, weeks, however long I’ve been here. I remember what happened before I was hit by the car. I am not Kara. She is my half sister, married to Adam’s twin brother, Aaron. They came by my apartment in Albuquerque last month sometime, and that’s the last I saw of them.” She didn’t mention the switch in identities, thinking it wasn’t important right now. “They didn’t tell me where they were going, but Adam thinks I’m Kara and that I’m somehow responsible for Aaron’s disappearance.”

  There was a silence broken only by her heavy breathing. “I’m sorry. There was an accident. Aaron and Kara are dead.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Adam was calm now. He took the glass of water where he’d given her the pills and handed it to her. “Where are they?”

  Garth and Hana stood stiffly behind Adam and watched Lyn with disbelieving eyes.

  “They were on one of those scenic highways somewhere. I saw a sign that said Crater Lake. I’m not familiar with that part of the country, I’ve never traveled in that area, but I think it’s in Oregon.”

  “Yes,” Garth said. “It is. I’ve hunted near there.”

  “In your dream, you saw that sign.” Adam watched her with cold, disbelieving eyes.

  “Yes. There was a historical marker about mines that used to be in the area. They didn’t make a curve, and the car went over the side.” Lyn covered her face with both hands and trembled. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Her heart hurt, but she wasn’t sure if it was for Adam, for Aaron and Kara, or for her.

  “I’d rather hear the rest of the tale, Lyn.” He said the name through gritted teeth.

  She lifted her head and looked straight at Adam. The contempt she saw there was almost her undoing. She wanted to crumble, wanted Adam’s arms around her so she could sob out her heartbreak. She wanted his love and respect in return for hers. He wasn’t interested. She would never have his love, only his disdain, his disbelief.

  I can do it, she thought. I must do it. I must tell him the whole story.

  “The car is several hundred feet down the mountainside in thick trees. Aaron was wearing a seat belt, and he’s still in the car.” She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, holding onto them and trying to hold onto her sanity. Her voice was calm and withdrawn now. She held back the screams that kept coming into her throat. “Kara was thrown out of the car several feet above where it landed. Even as a youngster, no matter how many times she was told, she never would wear a seat belt. Her body is covered with leaves and debris.”

  Adam watched her without speaking. She d
rew in a deep breath.

  “Aaron is wearing a pale blue warm up suit, low-heeled black boots, and a light blue insulated jacket. Kara has on a red velvet pantsuit, red boots, and her three quarter length mink coat is thrown over the back seat.”

  Without a word, Adam got up and went to the door. He turned.

  Lyn made one more attempt to reach him. “Please, Adam, listen to me. I love you, and ....”

  His eyes blazed, not with love, but with hostility. “If this is one more of your fabrications you’re famous for, if this is your bid for sympathy, you’ll live to regret it.” He stalked away. Garth and Hana followed him. Garth returned long enough to close the door. Lyn watched him, and saw him hesitate. He looked at her a long time before turning the lock.

  “I’m sorry, Lyn,” he said.

  Adam was already on the phone when Garth got to the great room. “Iverson knows the police chief in a nearby town. They’ll get in touch with rangers in the area of Crater Lake.”

  “That’s a helluva big area to look for a historical marker telling of mines. Must be hundreds of them.”

  Adam replaced the phone down and lowered his head to both hands. “I know.” His breath came in jagged gusts. “Damn Kara. Damn Lyn.” He looked up. “What the hell were they doing in Oregon?”

  Garth had no answer. He watched Adam and wondered how long the man could deal with a situation like this one.

  “Do you believe Kara? Or Lyn? Damn, Boss, who is she?”

  Adam’s laugh was brittle. “I was certain she was Kara, but during the time she claimed amnesia, I could almost believe she wasn’t Kara.” He couldn’t picture Kara as being the sweet armful he’d held the past few nights. Maybe … He stood and strode to the fireplace to stare into the flames where Hana had put more wood. “Am I to believe that wild dream? I don’t want to believe her. I want her to be Kara and lying as she’s been known to do.” He looked up at Garth. “She was asleep when I went to bed. I’d only been there a few minutes when she screamed. Scared me silly. I tried to hold her, but she fought like a wild woman. I keep telling myself she couldn’t fake that kind of fright, she couldn’t make up a story like that so quickly. Unless she already had it down pat and was just waiting for the right time. That is something Kara would do, according to some of Aaron’s tales.”

  He paced some more and stopped in front of Garth. “I don’t want to believe Aaron and Kara are dead. It hasn’t sunk in yet, I know.” He sat on the arm of the couch. “If Lyn is right, and we can find them.” He stopped, shaking his head. “I’ll have to see them to believe it.”

  “Are you going to Oregon?” Garth said.

  “I’m waiting for a call from the police chief Iverson knows. They have rangers who patrol the area, and we’ll have a better idea when we hear from them. It won’t be tonight, Garth, so go on to bed. Tell Hana to go also.”

  “I don’t mind staying up with you.”

  Adam shook his head. “It won’t help, and I might need you more tomorrow.”

  That was the only reason Garth went to his quarters. He stopped by the kitchen and told Hana to go to her apartment. She didn’t want to, but she did as she was told.

  * * * *

  Lyn trembled so hard the bed shook. She had broken out in a cold sweat, and her sheets were damp. The bile taste in her mouth was sickening, so she went to brush her teeth. She changed the bed sheets and found herself remembering that Adam had made love to her right here not many hours ago.

  A lifetime ago.

  Her heart ached for Adam, for Aaron and Kara, and there was a little bit of ache left over for her. She had had Adam’s love for a short time. She winced when she thought about telling him she loved him. Oh, yes, he’d have a wonderful time with that bit of knowledge. His expression told her he wasn’t interested in her except as an outlet for his sexual appetite.

  She recalled times before her amnesia, he had taken her for spite, just to prove to Aaron that his wife was promiscuous, that she liked a change in her sex partners. He’d put her reluctance to sleep with him down to Kara’s usual devious behavior. During her amnesia period, he’d been sweeter, gentle in his lovemaking, only because he felt guilty about her injuries.

  She paced. Poor Kara. Poor Aaron. If the dream hadn’t been so plain, so definite, so believable, she would have kept it to herself. How could she? She could almost feel the pain of Adam’s grief. For herself, she felt regret, regret for not being close to Kara, not being able to love her as a sister because Kara would never allow it. Lyn had never been important enough for Kara to love, merely someone to lord it over, someone to blame things on when she’d done something to agitate her parents.

  What a pitiful, mixed up, outrageously shameful situation she had landed in through no fault of her own.

  Her thoughts switched to the predicament she was in. What about her job? Would Adam make sure her boss and co-workers knew she hadn’t been able to get back to work? Had he kept in contact with them? She might not even have a job when she got back to Albuquerque. Trisha would be back from her overseas stint in the near future. She didn’t even know what day it was except that it was getting close to Christmas.

  Aaron and Kara, both dead. She couldn’t get it through her head. The dream had been so vivid, so real, in bright Technicolor. If she went to bed and managed to go to sleep, she was afraid the dream would come back. The recurring nightmare might just finish pushing her over the edge. She had been on a roller coaster of unbelievable happenings for what? A couple or three weeks? Abducted. Locked in a luxurious suite of a lovely country home. Accused of hiding a man she knew only casually, a man married to her half sister. Became sexually involved with her abductor. Fallen in love with him. Victim of amnesia after an automobile accident.

  And the final terrifying dream that ended all of the above.

  Like the little kid in the comic strip, she must have a cloud hanging over her head targeting her for all those intriguing events.

  She turned out the lights and made her way to the chair near the sliding doors. Long hours later, she got up and went to bed just to stretch out. She was stiff from sitting, and exhausted from her mind-shattering thoughts. And the thought that morning would never come.

  * * * *

  But it finally did. She had showered and dressed when the knock came on the door. Garth stuck his head inside.

  “Breakfast is ready, Lyn.” He studied the neatly dressed woman, noting the paleness, the purple shadows under her eyes, pale pink lips pressed together.

  “Good morning, Garth.” She went to the door, stepped past him into the hallway, and waited for him to join her. They walked together to the breakfast nook. Hana had put a glass of orange juice at Lyn’s place.

  “Do you want French toast or bacon and eggs?” Hana’s voice was neutral, showing no emotion.

  Lyn wondered if the woman had any emotions. “If you have wheat toast, I’ll have the bacon and one egg, please, Hana.”

  The woman sniffed and turned toward the stove.

  Lyn shrugged and sipped the orange juice. It was cold and felt good on her dry throat. And, right now, she didn’t give a damn if Hana liked her or not.

  “Adam got a call from a Chief Blaine near Crater Lake. He’s flying up there to go with the search unit.”

  Her heart thudded. “Then he decided to believe me?”

  “He didn’t have much choice, did he?”

  “He could have gone with his first belief, that I’d made it all up to get attention, I presume.”

  “Lyn. You are Lyn, right?”

  “Yes. I’m Lyn Sands.”

  He nodded. “Did you actually see all of the things you described? The clothing sounded like overkill to me.”

  “Garth, I have a good imagination, but there is no way I could have fabricated a story like that. Believe me, if I could have avoided the dream, I would have. It wasn’t pretty.” She played with her fork. “Two people I knew are dead. The man I love has accused me of everything from duplicity to lying to being p
romiscuous to faking amnesia for whatever reasons.”

  “The man you love?” Garth had reached for his coffee and now held the mug halfway to his mouth.

  She smiled a little. “Odd, isn’t it? I have more reason to hate him than to love him.” She chuckled. “Goes to show you the heart can screw up a fairly normal life.”

  “I’ll be damned.”

  “Me, too.” She pushed her plate with the half eaten food away. “Tell me, Garth, whatever gave Adam the idea to kidnap me in order to find Aaron? I know he believed Kara was unfaithful to Aaron, she’d leave him and then come back. He resented Aaron always taking her back with no questions asked. He thought Kara wasn’t good enough for Aaron. But how did he know enough about their movements that he could come to me and know I had Kara’s identification cards?”

  “I can’t answer that. All I know is that since Aaron married Kara, she’s about run him ragged. She interfered with business, nagged Aaron to go on lengthy cruises when the company was getting set for big jobs and Aaron was needed in Fort Worth. She’d hang up on Adam when he called and tell Aaron they got cut off. I know that for a fact.”

  “You don’t really have to tell me how devious Kara was. I lived with her until I was 18.”

  “What happened then?”

  “I got a scholarship to go to college two thousand miles away from home.”

  “You stayed away four years?”

  “Yes. After class and between semesters, I worked. I took summer courses and lived in the dorms to save money.” She thought of those exhausting, lonely years. It was a difficult time for her, and she wouldn’t want to do it again.

  “What about your family?”

  “I wasn’t exactly a part of the family. Kara and I have the same mother, different fathers. I never knew my father, and my mother looked on me as an extra mouth to feed and body to clothe.” Lyn tried not to sound bitter, but it was difficult, because she had been bitter. She resented Kara at times, but mostly, she hurt with the realization she was just a stick person, not a real one as far as her mother and stepfather were concerned.

 

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