Clichéd Love: A Satirical Romance

by Lynn Galli

  “Well, thanks. Glad we could do this. Text me about next week, yeah?”

  “Will do,” she said and limp-walked her way to her car, holding her back the entire way. I didn’t envy her sore body tomorrow. After many excursions with my crazy-ass neighbors, every previously unused muscle group had worked through all the soreness.

  My phone rang as I was unlocking my apartment door. I smiled at the display and picked up. “Hi, sexy.”

  “Hey, hotness,” Iris greeted.

  “Are you headed over?” We were going to hang out, maybe watch some TV tonight. Liked that a lot about her, too. We didn’t actually have to do something when we were together.

  “Lane’s here.”

  “Oh,” I said, adjusting my mindset. “Did you two need some private time?” We could hold off till later.

  “Join us?” Hesitation marked her voice. She still wasn’t completely confident that I wouldn’t dangle her close friendship with Lane in her face any time I didn’t get my way. Even before Lane was attacked, Iris’s other girlfriends hadn’t appreciated or understood their close friendship. Didn’t trust that they didn’t have feelings for each other.

  “If it’s okay with Lane, sure.”

  “It is,” she said immediately, the hesitation now gone.

  I chuckled at her eagerness. I was eager, too, but I wouldn’t become that kind of girlfriend. “Ask her first. You know I can’t stand when the g/f just horns her way into whatever you’re doing with your friends.”

  She laughed and spoke to Lane in the background. “She’s your friend, too, and she’s wants you to join.”

  “All right, I’ll be there in a bit.” I hung up and headed for the shower. After an hour on the lake, I needed a good scrubbing, and I wanted to look good for my fiery hot girlfriend.

  Out of the shower, I took the time to blow dry my hair. Normally I’d just put it in a ponytail, but it would dry with a kink. Didn’t want a kink in my hair if I was getting lucky later. Kink was fine in other places, but not my hair. Choosing jeans and a formfitting top, I stepped into some shoes and applied a touch of liner to my eyelids. I stuffed clean undies, another pair of pants, and a shirt into a backpack. Last week, we’d left toothbrushes at each other’s places. We were taking it slow, not making any assumptions. I was fairly sure we both felt this was for the long haul, but not assuming that we’d spend the night or take over a drawer or not bother to ask each other what we wanted each day solidified the relationship foundation.

  Finding a spot on Iris’s street at the weekend was the only negative thing about getting together at her place. Her car took the one available spot in her driveway. She didn’t have a garage, so I fought for a space on the street. Tonight, it was six houses down.

  Iris opened the door as soon as I stepped onto the front path. “Hi.”

  I met her on the porch and gave her a kiss hello that lingered much longer than hello.

  “We have a surprise for you.” She pulled me with her through the front door.

  “A surprise?” I asked and smiled at Lane once inside. “Hi, Lane. Fun day?”

  “Ha!” Lane practically growled.

  Iris ignored her and made an elaborate hand flourish toward the left. I followed the flourish and spotted an ergonomic desk that could be converted from a sitting desk to a standing one. It took up the nook space that used to house an unused coat tree. A small window looked out to her side yard beyond the desk.

  My eyes shifted to a very smiley Iris and back to a still scowling Lane. “What’s this?”

  “Took us all damn day to put together. Do you know how many pieces are in that thing?” Lane grimaced and wrapped her hands around her hair to whip it into her characteristic messy bun.

  Iris shot an elbow into her side and did the hand flourish again. “You like?”

  “It’s nice, but you have a nice desk in your loft up there.” My finger pointed to the tight space above her kitchen. The roofline didn’t allow for standing. Well, Lane might be able to, but Iris and I couldn’t stand upright in the space. It was fine for sitting at the desk, and it helped her separate work time from home time.

  “This one’s for you to use,” Iris said. “Whenever you work here, you’re stuck trying to get comfy on the couch or at the island. Neither works as well as your setup at home.”

  “You got this for me?” I felt my throat tighten. My eyes flicked to Lane. “You put it together for me?” It was far more than just a desk. It said that she understood and encouraged my work habits. That she wanted me to work at her home. That she wanted me to feel as comfortable here as I did at my place.

  “Do you like it?” Iris couldn’t read the emotions showing on my face.

  “Please like it,” Lane added, looking worried by my misty reaction.

  “Thank you,” I whispered to Iris and turned to Lane and repeated, “Thank you. This is perfect.” I reached for Iris.

  Her arms folded over my back. Tension drained from her as she realized she hadn’t overstepped by buying me a piece of furniture that would stay in her house. Not an overstep at all. We might get to those drawers sooner rather than later now.

  “Thanks.” I offered again and kissed her. Then, I turned to Lane and wrapped her in a quick hug, no kiss for her. “You wasted your off hours doing this? You’ve still got a full shift tonight, don’t you?” Saturday nights were her busiest.

  “Anything for a friend.”

  I liked that she meant both Iris and me. Things could get a little murky with relationships when two friends got together and one friend was on the outside.

  “Nobody lost any fingers?” I reached out and ran my hands over the desk and used the lever to send it into a standing position. It worked without any hiccups, and the ergonomic kneel chair that fit under the desk would be ideal for the constant position changes I took when writing.

  “Somebody almost lost a helper when she couldn’t find the directions sheet in English,” Lane teased her friend, slapping a hand against her shoulder.

  “They were in French for some reason.” Iris gave a sheepish shrug. “Had to look online for the English version.”

  “I’d love to stick around and review every little nut and bold we attached, but I’m already late for work.” Lane started toward the door. “Derrick is probably rearranging the tables as we speak. He’s been dying to try out a new pattern for the servers.”

  I checked my watch and saw that the bar’s opening time passed more than a half hour ago. “Thanks again for spending your free time doing this. It’s beautiful.”

  She laughed at the reverence in my tone. “It’s a desk, Vega.” She looked at Iris. “You still okay with me borrowing your car on Monday? I know you’ve got that new investigation starting. I can drop you off first, or should I just get a rental for the day?”

  “If you can drop me before you get on the road, I should be fine. I’ll see if I can’t persuade my awesome girlfriend to pick me up if you aren’t back in time.” Her gorgeous eyes blinked seductively at me.

  “Take mine,” I offered. “I’m taking tomorrow off and no interviews on Monday. This way, Iris will have her car if she needs it on the investigation.”

  “You sure?” Lane showed surprise at my offer. She’d been without a car since her ex left her and took the car they shared. Living on Capitol Hill and working nonstop, she rarely needed one.

  “It’ll be sitting in a garage for a few days otherwise.” Lane still looked like this was the biggest favor anyone could ever do. “You spent all day building me a desk, and you let me use your bar as my office. It’s the least I can do.” I pulled the key fob from my jacket. “Take it.”

  Her hand came up. “I only need it Monday.”

  “You need a ride to work, or we’re walking you. Take it now.” I whirled and looked at Iris. “Unless you can’t give me a ride back home…later.” I lost my confidence for a second when I realized I’d just invited myself to stay over tonight. We usually spent the night whenever we got together but
some morning appointments ended our nights early a few times.

  “I’ll give you a ride home whenever you want. Tomorrow, hopefully.” She gave me a suggestive grin, and the confidence I’d had returned full force.

  “Thanks, this is great.” Lane took the key from my outstretched hand. “I’m thinking about getting a car, so I don’t have to keep borrowing Iris’s to visit my folks in Arlington.”

  “If I’m not using it, you’re welcome to it.” I meant that. I spent a lot of time writing at home. A friend might as well get some use out of the car.

  We walked Lane out to where I’d parked. She slipped inside and adjusted the seat and mirrors for her shorter height, gave us a wave, and pulled out.

  “I’m going to thank you properly when we get inside.” Iris said and wrapped her arm around me to start us back.

  “I think I’m the one who needs to thank you for the desk, Ms. Thoughtful.” I waited until she closed the door and pushed up against her. My lips followed and she met my kiss with a groan. I loved that sound. I’d do just about anything to hear it. For as long as she’d share it with me.

  “You’re my captive now, you realize.” She smiled against my lips.

  “I’m okay with that…for tonight. You can be my captive another time.”

  She nipped at my lips. Like me, she’d been surprised at how easy we were together. Both of us had always been the aggressor in relationships, always the ones to take charge. It was expected of us as much as we chose it. With her, I didn’t always have to be in charge. I could allow myself to be vulnerable and trust that she wouldn’t think less of me. I could tell she felt the same.

  I fell for her a little more every moment we spent together.

  EPILOGUE | Iris & Vega

  Eight Months Later

  Before I had time to completely unwind at home after my return flight, my front door opened, and Iris came through. If not for her trained observation skills she wouldn’t have noticed me over at my desk until she was already well inside. As it was, she got one step in before surprise brought her to a halt.

  “Vega!” Her sexiest grin, the one comprised mostly of surprise and delight, stretched her mouth wide.

  “Hey, Iris.” I stood, having really just sat down, and held my arms out. In the next instant she was in them and kissing me. A wonderful welcome home, so different from our standard hello kisses.

  “You’re not due back for hours.” She cupped my face. “I was stopping by to tidy up.”

  “Really?” We were both fairly neat, but neither of us liked to clean.

  She shrugged and squeezed me tight again. “You like for us to stay at your place whenever you come back from a trip.”

  I was no longer surprised by the things she knew about me without me having to tell her. She knew I’d want to stay here tonight and that I liked fresh sheets when I came home from a trip. Ah, that was the tidying up she planned to do. “I love your place, but my bed’s better. Do you mind?”

  “As long as we’re together. How is it that you’re here already?” Her hands drew down the length of my arms and up my sides. She liked mapping out the planes of my body whenever she or I returned from a trip. I never asked her why. I assumed it was part of her police training in making sure someone was all right. Or she could just like touching me after missing me for four days.

  “Got an earlier flight. Lane picked me up.”

  “She did?” Her eyes blinked, hands pausing in their examination. “Your car wasn’t in the garage.”

  “She still has it. I’m not going anywhere for a couple of days, and she wanted to take the new g/f out to La Conner for lunch tomorrow.”

  “She likes driving your car more than you do.” Her hands had made their way up to massage the base of my scalp. “They’re cute together, right? She’s a good one, I think.”

  “Yeah, she’s pretty great and good for Lane. Much better than the other one.” Although, that one had been good to get Lane back out there. Hot, but self-absorbed to the point she never asked any questions as to why Lane hadn’t been with anyone in more than a year. I’d given them two months; they didn’t make it six weeks. A couple of months later, the new girlfriend moves to town and falls head over heels for Lane almost from the moment they met.

  “How could you not like a woman who gives up the prime shift at work to match Lane’s work schedule?” Iris finished her touching perusal of my body by gripping my hands.

  “How could we not? Plus, she’s nice. I like nice. It’s underrated.”

  “You’re nice.” Her lips scraped down my neck.

  “I’m a cynical bitch, and you know it.”

  “But I love you anyway.” She leaned back and loosened her grip on me. “How’d the trip go? Is the publisher happy?”

  They were very happy with the planned book launch. I could still find little tweaks I’d like to make with the book, but they had a point about the urgency. Now a week after the coverage of the contest winner’s grand wedding—a lesbian couple, much to my delight—it should hit stores before everyone completely forgot about the article series. If I hadn’t been sending draft chapters to my editor all along, it wouldn’t have been ready in time.

  “They seem to be. Want to see it?” I fluttered my eyebrows.

  Her eyes went wide. “You have one?”

  “Just the review copy.”

  “Give it here, author lady.”

  I retrieved the bag from outside the laundry room and dug out the book. She was at my side, impatient, telling me the book was as important to her as it was to me. She held it reverently, studying the cover before opening it and flipping to the back flap.

  “Damn, you look hot.” Her eyes looked up from the photo of me on the book jacket. “I have the hottest, most talented girlfriend alive.”

  I laughed and swept my arms around her, looking down at the book as she leafed through it. “How’d the investigation go today? Any closer to catching the guy?”

  “I’m getting there.” She’d been investigating a series of incidents at an assisted living facility where residents were being conned out of money in all manner of schemes. Five days investigating, which included awareness talks for the residents, and she was finally getting somewhere. I envied her ability to focus and stay sure even when faced with an almost impossible task of tracking down someone like that. It was what made her a damn good detective. “I spotted a recurring charge on several residents’ credit cards. I plan to stake out the place tomorrow. See if I can’t catch him making more of the fake sales calls.”

  I rubbed the small of her back as she kept flipping through the pages of my book. “I’m proud of you.” I leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips. “You’re hot and talented, yourself.”

  She set the book on the kitchen counter and faced me, caging me in with her arms. “We have a few extra hours today thanks to your brilliance at catching an earlier flight.” Her forehead touched mine. “What do you think we should do with all that time?”

  I laughed and tipped my chin up to capture her mouth. It still amazed me how horribly our first kiss went when all I could think about now was kissing her all the time. “I was thinking about writing one last story.”

  She pulled back, surprised. “Thought you were done interviewing couples.”

  “I am. This’ll be our story. Just for us.”

  Her chest expanded, and a slow grin inched across her face. “I like the sound of that.” Her gaze flicked up to the bedroom and back at me. “I’ve been thinking.”

  “About?”

  “Us living together.”

  I drew in a sharp breath. We’d been consistently spending our nights together with only the occasional night off, depending on our schedules the next morning. As much as this step had suffocated me in past relationships, I couldn’t get enough time with Iris. It didn’t bother me to work with her in the house. It didn’t bother me when she came through my door using her own key without calling first. It didn’t bother me when she’d call to check i
f we had plans for a specific day before she agreed to something for us or on her own. All the things that used to bother me about girlfriends making presumptuous moves or deciding they would insert themselves into my life, none of it came up with Iris.

  “Or we can stay like this. That’s fine.” Iris stepped back after the moment of silence. “I don’t want to rush you.”

  I reached out and snagged her arms, bringing them back to cage me in. “I love you, Iris.”

  “I love you, too, Vega.” Relief sounded in her tone.

  “You make me very happy.”

  “Same here.” Her eyes studied mine. “Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming?”

  I shook my head and collected my thoughts. This had to be said the right way. “I don’t want to just move in together. Not if it’s a trial stage.”

  “A trial stage?” Her brow furrowed.

  “A lot of the couples I interviewed said the same thing. When they started living together, they used it as a try-out for getting married. If it didn’t work out, no biggie. Many kept their old places or rented storage units just in case.”

  She nodded slowly. “Okay.”

  “I don’t want it to be a try-out. If we move in together, it’ll be because we want to share the rest of our lives together.” I searched her gorgeous blue eyes. “So take some time to think about that. If it’s not the way you think of living together, then we keep things as is until you get to that point.”

  “Vega,” she started, but I pressed my fingers to her mouth.

  “I don’t want a ceremony, and I don’t need a legal document.” My insides knotted into a nest of nerves. I hadn’t meant to bring this up today. Soon, but with candlelight and soft music, something worthy of her and this. “But I would like to make promises and exchange rings. I want very much for you to be mine for good.” A nervous laugh slipped out. “Not in a creepy way.” Then I shrugged. “Maybe a bit of a creepy way because you know I’m a little off.”