“No one is keeping score, Nic. Most of the Unseelie, most of the fey for that matter, don’t know you’ve been reborn. You could have a clean slate.”
“I’ve never had a clean slate, though. You know that. I started killing when I was six years old.”
Chloe glances away, but not before I see the troubled shadow in her eyes. “I should let you rest.”
I reach out and grip her arm. “What is it?”
She licks her lips. “You killed before that.”
“What?” I stare up at her. “How would you know that?”
“It’s why she abandoned you.”
She. Meaning the third sister fate. The one who was supposed to be my guardian. All thoughts of discomfort fade away. “Tell me what happened.”
“Nic, it’s late. You have school tomorrow.”
“Like I give a shit?”
She huffs out an exasperated breath, her scent changing to something more sour than sweet. “Look, it was a long time ago.”
“So was everything else. But it’s still impacting my here and now. How am I supposed to face this series of unknown tests if I don’t know who I am or where I came from?”
“Addy should be here for this.” Chloe makes one last ditch attempt. “Let me run and wake her up—”
My voice goes up several decibels. “And have her side with you?”
Outside the door, Aiden growls low in his throat. He doesn’t like the idea of anyone, even the aunts who’ve raised me, ganging up on me.
“If you’re going to eavesdrop,” I tell him, “You might as well come back in.”
He nudges the door open and stares at the two of us. Chloe casts him a withering look but he simply stands there, unafraid and unmoving.
I put my hand over hers, no longer scared of physical contact the way I’d once been. “Please. How can I make an informed choice if I don’t know how it all went down?”
She exhales wearily. “Fine. But this isn’t exactly a bedtime story.”
I nod and settle in, doing my best not to leap out of my skin. Over by my bookshelf, Aiden curls up on the braided rug, his green eyes watchful.
Chloe nods in his direction. “Your wolf brought you to the three of us as a babe.”
“How did he find you?” I interrupt.
“We were...more accessible before, for those who knew how and where to look. He told us that you were the Unseelie Queen of the Shadow Throne and had been reborn as a mortal. He said he had been your consort and the father of your unborn heir and it was his job to keep you safe until you came of age and could reclaim your birthright. He asked us to raise you, to keep you safe. In all the history of the world, no being, god, immortal or man ever entrusted us with an innocent life, or asked for our help so directly. We could have refused. It is not our place to interfere with the course of things. But we have threads just like any other. And ours has in the past, become entangled with those of mortals and the fey.”
I look to where Aiden has laid his head back down between his midnight paws and is feigning sleep. “Why did you send him away?”
One green eye cracks open.
“We agreed only on the condition that your fate be hidden from us. We knew that if your wolf, your Aiden, was part of your life, then your past would never fully abandon you. It’s difficult enough to overcome struggles from your own lifetime, but to cope with what a previous incarnation did?” She shakes her head. “It’s too much, even for a mind as powerful as yours.”
“And he agreed.” I look back to Aiden.
You deserved a fresh start, he thinks.
And you didn’t? Aiden had suffered for almost the entirety of my mortal life at the hands of Brigit and her Unseelie Court.
He doesn’t respond, his eyes sliding shut once more.
“So, he left you in our charge,” Chloe continues, unaware of our silent communication. “And then we divvied up the task of raising you. At first, we all tried living together. It was a nightmare. We were used to moving around, going where we were needed, when we were useful. A nomadic existence isn’t easy, especially not with an infant in tow. We fought constantly and you were always crying, always needing something. So, we decided to split up, each of us taking you for a year. I was supposed to be the most nurturing of us, the most patient. I had you first. We went to that cottage in the Black Forest, the one where you were found. It was your first home. When I was needed out in the world, one of the others would come relieve me, but for most of your first year, it was just the two of us. Then Addy got you year two, and so on.”
“And your other sister?”
Chloe stares out the window. “Her name was Lachesis. Sissy. She had you year three, starting on your second birthday. And believe it or not, she loved you as much as we did. I could hardly wait for your third birthday, for my next turn to be with you. You’d changed so much in such a brief time.”
I open my mouth to tell her a year is plenty of time for a mortal child to change, but then shut it again. When a being is as old as the world itself, a year probably doesn’t feel like a long time.
“So, I had you for your fourth year and reluctantly turned you over to Addy for your fifth. Sissy showed up for your sixth birthday and everything seemed fine. We had no idea that she would wipe your memories of us and abandon you.”
“And why did she leave me?” My pulse pounds. “What did I do wrong?”
“She’d taken you out to see other people. It’s something we all did during festivals, because you were very isolated and we wanted you to see civilization, even if you couldn’t be a part of it on a regular basis. Your magic had yet to manifest and we couldn’t risk having you expose yourself until you could control your gifts.
From what Sissy told us later, she had taken you to an ice cream shop. You were sitting outside, eating and she ducked in to get a napkin. When she came back you were gone. Every parent’s nightmare, even for one of us.”
“Someone had abducted me?” I ask as Aiden growls from the floor.
Chloe shook her head. “No. Apparently you had seen a boy running through the crowd, all bloody and bruised. You took off after him. And his father cornered the two of you in an alley. The man was drunk, Sissy said. She could smell it on him, even after...what happened.
“I killed him.” It’s not a question.
She confirms it. “According to the boy you’d been protecting, yes. Sissy panicked, wiped the boy’s memories and yours as well and brought you back to the cottage. She didn’t know anything, didn’t see that it was your kiss that killed him and because she’d erased your recollection of the event, you couldn’t tell her how you’d done it.”
“And did she tell you, or Addy?” I ask. “What I’d done?”
“Yes,” Chloe says. “We knew she was freaked out and we’d made plans to go get you, to move you to a more secure location. One on one obviously wasn’t working anymore, not if your powers started to manifest. But we were delayed. And Sissy...”
She pauses and takes a deep breath. “I won’t make excuses for her, Nic. She stole your memories. She abandoned you in the woods with no food, no water, only the clothes on your back and then left the cottage in ruins so even if you did find your way back, it would provide no real shelter. She meant for you to die in the forest so your killing power wouldn’t be unleashed on the world, at least that’s what she told us when we caught up to her.”
“And you killed her for it. Your own sister.” Sensations war within me, rage at the third adoptive mother I can’t remember, sorrow for Chloe and Addy, and above all, overwhelming gratitude that they hadn’t sided with Lachesis and decided to give up on me, too.
Chloe nods, her scent like bitter coffee. “You have to understand. Our oldest and most sacred law is to not interfere with the natural progress of mankind. You were reincarnated for a reason, brought to us for a reason and we agreed to take you in for a reason. Even if she didn’t actively try and kill you, she engineered a set of circumstances designed to take your life.
She left us no choice. We cannot interfere, or the fabric of the world could unravel.”
I swallow. “Is there any way for me to regain those early memories? The way Nahini taught me to follow the threads to my previous life?” It wasn’t something I’d thought much about, until now.
But Chloe shakes her head sadly. “I don’t know. When a Norn does a memory purge she doesn’t erase just the mind she’s scrubbing, but all the events that led up to it. It’s not a power we use often because it affects so many lives, for even the smallest event. That boy, the one you saved? He has no memory of you, the alley or how his father died. The time is a complete blank. For him, it never happened and his mind will most likely try to fill the void with mundane events. Laundry, dishes, a trip to the grocery. You could pass by him on the street and he wouldn’t experience so much as a flicker or recognition. Your mind is different though. Not fully mortal, not fully fey. It could be that even with the purge you might remember things in time even if they aren’t complete memories.”
I lean back against the pillows. “Thank you for telling me.”
“Nic,” Chloe begins.
“I’m tired,” I say to forestall her. “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”
“Okay.” She nods and heads for the door, but pauses to look back. “She did care for you. The same way Addy and I do.”
Just not enough to overcome her fear. “Night.”
Chloe shut the door and a moment later I see the light flick off in the kitchen. There is the click of sharp claws on wood as Aiden paces around the room. The mattress dips as, still in wolf form, he slowly pulls himself up beside me, taking care not to jostle me.
He meets my gaze, his eyes seeming to be lit from behind so they glow in the dark. He doesn’t think at me, doesn’t ask whether I’m okay. I reach out to stroke his fur and after a long moment he lays down beside me, offering the only comfort I’ll accept.
I close my eyes but sleep doesn’t find me until dawn.
“YOU SURE YOU’RE UP for this?” Aiden asks as he parks the truck in the school lot and glances over at me. “You can always change your mind.”
I shake my head, wincing at the pain. “What am I supposed to do at home, sit around and brood? There are things that need investigating here.” Like the brown eyed stranger and the fairy hill.
It had been decided at breakfast that morning. A shower had made me feel more like myself, washing away the pixing and the conversation with Chloe. Not to mention the make out session with Aiden. Wearing a baggy purple t-shirt with a pair of glitter red lips on the breast pocket over black leggings, I’d secured my hair in a braid and felt almost normal.
“You look like Jord with your hair done that way.” Jasmine, her own hair a riot of red curls, studies my outfit with interest.
“In my wildest dreams,” I circled the table to my usual place.
Aiden, freshly showered and shaved, pulled out the chair for me. “No way to improve on perfection.”
Nahini and Freda were there as well as my aunts and Alric’s falcons and hounds prowl around outside to guard against eavesdroppers.
I let Aiden and Addy fill them in on the details, concentrating all my efforts on buttering my toast with the barest amount of movement possible.
“Why didn’t you say anything yesterday?” Freda’s blonde brows are drawn together, her jaw set at a menacing angle. “We could have set a watch.”
“Whoever is using the fairy hill knew we were there, sent the dust out as a diversion.” Aiden sets a bowl of oatmeal down in front of me. “They have the location under surveillance. Your troops would end up fornicating on the hillside.”
Freda’s countenance darkens and Chloe barely stifles a laugh.
“It’s wise,” Nahini’s tone is calm. “To keep the existence of the fairy hill quiet, at least until we can flush out the spy. For all we know the fairy hill is where they cross into Underhill.”
“My thoughts exactly,” I said and reached for my bowl of oatmeal. “We need to go about school and training, all business as usual.”
Underhill could take me as soon as I wore her mark.
“Worry not, my queen. There are things we can do to help you prepare.” Nahini had said with a soft smile. “I will work with you on borrowing powers from the fey of the Unseelie Court as well as mental shielding and preparation. And we need to go over Unseelie politics as well.”
“Something to look forward to,” I grumble now and pop open the door to the truck.
Aiden is out and around, there to ease my decent to the ground. “What did you say?”
“Nothing.” I reach back in for my backpack but he plucks it from my hands and slings it over his own shoulder before taking my hand in his. “Hey, isn’t it enough for you that I let you drive my truck?”
He captures my hand in his. “It’s never enough for me.”
“Just let me know if you feel the need to mark me in any other way.” I stare down at our intertwined hands but don’t pull away. “I’d prefer not to be surrounded by a circle of piss.”
“This is for your benefit.” Aiden explains.
“Sure, it is.” Still, I hang on to his hand.
“You two are so cute.” Jasmine beams at us in pleasure, then rushes ahead when she spies Kayleigh.
I stare after her wide-eyed. “Did she just call us cute? I am not cute.”
“Of course not.” Aiden’s wide grin contradicts his words.
We head to my locker. If Aiden has one, I have yet to see him use it. He carries a green five subject notebook and a pencil, and somehow manages to have whatever he needs for individual classes on hand. Of course, he isn’t here for educational purposes.
“Any sign of our friend from yesterday?” I move slowly, to give Aiden time to survey the hallway and the throngs of students passing by.
His glance is casual even as he puts a hand on my shoulder. “Not yet.”
He appears troubled. “What’s wrong?”
“The boy from yesterday. He blended well. Too well.”
Understanding dawns. “The way you did.”
Aiden nods once. “You were the only one to notice he was out of place. That takes a strong sort of glamour. More than what a typical fey would possess.”
“And combined with the fairy hills that lead directly to the courts....” A chill goes up my spine. “You’re thinking we’re dealing with one of the Seelie royals? Wardon or Soladin?”
“Or perhaps one of the fey lords from the Unseelie Court.” Aiden shakes his head. “We just don’t know enough yet.”
“I guess that means I’m bait.” I don’t know how to feel about random fey wandering around my hometown, my school. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”
Aiden stares down at me. “I’ll protect you.”
“That’s not...” I slam my locker, frustrated. How can I make him understand that it’s not me I’m worried about?
“Everything will work out,” Aiden puts an arm around my neck, drawing me into him. “Let nature take its course.”
A wave of dizziness washes over me and I hear a woman’s voice as though she’d whispered in my ear. It’s not in your nature. Each word hits me in the gut like a physical blow, knocking the wind out of me. I stumble and would have gone down on my ass if Aiden hadn’t been there to catch me.
“Nic? What’s wrong?”
“Give me a minute.” I blink, the fluorescent lights searing my retinas. Everything is too much, almost overwhelming. What brought that on? After effects from the pixie dust most likely.
“Ms. Rutherford? Is everything all right?”
I blink up to see Vice Principal Steinburg staring down at me. The man looks like some sort of half-starved bird of prey, thin to the point of gauntness. He has a long beaklike nose and a pointed chin. His hair is black as a raven’s wing, except at the temples where the pepper is mixed with a decent amount of salt. Either his hygiene regimen doesn’t extend to washing his hair or he uses some oil based product on it because
it always looks wet. And he doesn’t smell that great either.
“Sure,” I plaster a stiff smile and lean more heavily into Aiden’s hold. The last thing I need is for the veep to think I’m high and do a locker search.
“Mr....?” Steinburg’s blue gray eyes narrow on Aiden.
“Jager,” he supplies helpfully, though his attention is fixed on me.
“Would you run and fetch the nurse? She should be in her office.” The veep puts one hand on my back shifting my weight from Aiden to himself.
“I’m fine,” I protest around gulps of air. My knuckles turn white where I clutch Aiden’s arm, silently begging him not to leave. I don’t want to be given over to tender school custody.
Aiden licks his lips, his expression worried. “I’ll be right back, Nic.” He breaks into a flat-out sprint, knocking into several students who have the misfortune of getting in his way.
The bell rings and the halls empty out. The veep guides me to an empty classroom “Come, sit down.”
“The nurse,” I glance back in the direction Aiden has gone.
“I’ll flag her down, if necessary. You should get off your feet in case you faint.”
There’s a buzzing sound in my ears and I still feel as though I’m laboring for breath. Part of me doesn’t want to take deeper breaths. He positively reeks, like an old outhouse sitting abandoned in the sun for a full decade. Sitting seems wise. I allow him to usher me into the empty room, only realizing I’ve made a mistake when I hear the door close and the click of the lock.
“Nicneven, at last.” The creature who I’d believed to be a mortal begins to melt away.
You Don’t See That Every Day
For a moment, I understand Dorothy’s horror when the Wicked Witch of the West melts before her very eyes. Except I haven’t tossed a bucket of water, did nothing to instigate the horrific display happening ten feet away.
Imperfect human skin and dark greasy hair oozes like sap from an injured tree to reveal feathers the color of midnight. The nose I’d once thought of as hawk-like reveals an actual hawk’s sharp beak, the long arms transform into wings, the legs no longer end in sensible shoes but wicked looking talons. The being is still humanoid in shape, though its eyes are as cold and merciless as a bird of prey.
The Immortal Queen Page 6