Or, rather, her children.
Raising her face, she lightly slapped her cheeks. Even if Keltor kept his distance and never forgave her, she would find a way to ensure Kelzal would avoid the same isolation. She didn’t know how, but there had to be something she could do.
Before she could do more than think of maybe reaching out to Keltor’s sister, Kalahn, for suggestions on how to handle her brother, the computer announced Kelzal’s presence and he entered. Putting aside her distracting thoughts, she asked, “Is it time to go already?”
“It is the appointed time. Plus, I double-checked that the doctor cleared your health and our quarters are ready for us. I’m anxious to leave because once we’re settled inside them, I have news for you.”
“News about what?”
He shook his head. “Not here. It’s not secure.”
Mentioning security gave her an idea of what he wished to discuss. Since bringing up Toralyn a week ago, Kelzal had mentioned nothing about his sister. Maybe he’d have some information from her. And if not, she would find a way to coax some out of her son. After all, at the rate Azalyn was going with Keltor, she’d never have the chance to meet her daughter. Stories from Kelzal might be the best she could ever hope to have.
The news about having a second child was still sinking in. Toralyn’s picture, though, was burned permanently into her brain. All those years she’d looked over Kelzal, she hadn’t done the same with Toralyn. While it wasn’t her fault since she hadn’t known of the female’s existence, Azalyn still felt guilty about it.
Later, Azalyn would reach out to the Sulanis and demand a full explanation. As much as she’d come to care for most of her adopted family, the leader of the Sulani merchants, Ulrick, never did something without a motive and detailed strategy behind it.
And if he planned to use her daughter against Keltor for gain, she needed to know about it. While it may take a little digging, she had contacts of her own who could shed some light on her assumptions.
Kelzal grabbed her sole cargo case of belongings, and they headed out of the medical wing toward their quarters in the eastern half of the palace.
She’d grown comfortable with Kelzal’s silences over the last week. Rather than try to engage in pleasantries he probably wouldn’t respond to, she instead focused on her surroundings. While the composite walls were a light, nondescript cream color, after five minutes, they finally walked past a large window looking into a garden. The window material was transparent at the moment, but Azalyn could spot a dimmer screen. Merchants used them all the time for privacy in their shops.
“Computer, what is beyond this screen?” she asked.
“The East Garden. Access is currently open to everyone who has basic clearance to the palace.”
Glancing at Kelzal, she asked, “Do you mind if we look inside for a few minutes? Between the hospital wing, the Kelderan transport ship, and our captivity with the Tallarians, I’d love nothing more than to be surrounded by nature.”
He adjusted his grip on her cargo case. “I have work I need to do, so you go. When you’re finished, come find me. We need to talk.”
At the reminder of his news, Azalyn hesitated. But Kelzal vanished down the hall before she could do more than blink twice.
It was going to take years for her to adjust to his ways, but she would do it. Not for the first time, she appreciated the family who had not only adopted him, but by all accounts had loved him fiercely, quirks and all.
Entering the garden, Azalyn took in the multi-colored flowers, the yellow and pale green leaves of the trees, and the yellow-colored grass wrestled into a wavy pattern by paths of black gravel.
Lightly tracing the petals of a deep purple flower, Azalyn smiled. She didn’t think she’d ever see the flora of Keldera again. After all, according to her plans, she should be living in the Kelderan colony on the planet Jasvar by now. While some Kelderan plants would be introduced and cultivated on the planet, there was no telling how the light of a different sun and soil with a different chemical makeup would affect their coloring. With all the changes in her life recently, the familiarity of the flowers and trees comforted her.
Moving on from the flowers, she walked deeper into the garden and stopped at the entrance to a giant hedge maze. The pale blue foliage stood out against the green and yellow.
She should turn around and exit the garden. Some Kelderan mazes took tens of minutes or even an hour to complete.
And yet she needed to walk and build up her strength after her recent confinement, per the doctor’s orders. Besides, she’d always been good at solving hedge mazes as a child, so it shouldn’t take too long.
As Azalyn turned one corner and then another, she started to imagine a young child hanging on to each of her hands as they stomped in the imaginary puddles and urged her to take a dead end so they could see if there were any surprises waiting. When they walked into a water trap—which signaled that they were going the wrong way—a small spray of water would hit them, causing the boy and girl to squeal in delight.
For years, Azalyn had told herself that she could always have children again and experience motherhood. She was one of the strange females who wanted to both work and raise children, which rarely happened outside of merchant families. But the Sulanis would’ve embraced her desire, like many merchant brides before her.
However, she’d never found a male she wanted to claim as her own in the last twenty-odd years. There had been many who were kind, or loving, and more than a few had been attractive. In the end, none of them had stirred her heart the same way Keltor had done when they’d been younger. Maybe her expectations had been too high. After all, many Kelderan couples were partnerships with little in the way of passion and often without love.
And yet, after what she’d experience with Keltor, Azalyn had wanted passion and love again.
Turning another corner, the sound of the fountain in the center of the maze grew louder. She was close to finding the exit. While most mazes were designed to trick you into going toward the center, Azalyn went toward the edge. A few minutes later, she was rewarded with the sight of a four-tier fountain, the water cascading out of a giant feline’s mouth at the top to rows below of carved fish and plant life.
She sat down at one of the benches to the side and stared at the water. The fountain was loud and drowned out everything else. No doubt it was by design to give royals and their families some privacy.
The solitude only made her think of the little boy and girl again, but this time they sat on the edge of the fountain’s outer rim and hit the water to splash each other.
Placing a hand on her abdomen, tears prickled her eyes. Not only was she forty years old, which was an obstacle of its own with pregnancy, but the doctor also said it would be difficult for her to conceive again due to the damage caused by the Tallarians beating her.
In short, Azalyn had waited too long. She would never have children to raise as her own and to make memories with instead of mere fantasies. She couldn’t even adopt thanks to her life as mother to the heir of Keldera’s one-day king; King Kastor and Keltor would view the adoption as a possible security risk. If the biological parents ever came calling with demands, it could be disastrous.
While grateful to have Kelzal in her life, Azalyn mourned the loss of raising a child and all the experiences that came with it.
However, she couldn’t ever allow Kelzal—and maybe one day Toralyn—to sense her grief. So in the solitude of the maze with the fountain to drown out her tears, Azalyn let go and sobbed for the children she’d never have.
~~~
Keltor quickly ducked into the East Garden and made a beeline for the hedge maze. His latest bride candidate’s father was determined to marry off his daughter to Keltor, and he needed a break from the constant chase.
While the latest candidate, Lakka, had a mild temperament and lovely blue hair, all she did was smile and nod. Even after a week spent with her at meals and various activities, Keltor couldn’t recall
the sound of the female’s voice.
Some males would appreciate a bride who didn’t chatter or offer an opinion. Keltor, on the other hand, had spent enough of his life surrounded by complacency. No doubt Lakka would merely smile as he pleasured her, too, and never reveal what she truly wanted.
Striding into the hedge maze for further privacy, he kicked some of the gravel rocks as hard as he could. He was aware that he’d have to do his duty and take a wife, but it couldn’t be too much to ask for a bride who spoke more than “Yes, your highness,” or “No, your highness.”
Not that his councilors seemed to mind Lakka’s bland personality. All they were concerned about was putting Keltor out to stud so that he would hopefully produce a few more sons.
To distract himself from what awaited him outside the garden space, he walked into the maze.
The twist and turns were as familiar to him as breathing, and it wasn’t long before he reached the center.
He stared at the cascading water for a few seconds before turning toward his favorite bench. That was when he spotted Azalyn off to the side, her head in her hands, her body shaking with what he assumed were sobs.
Her actions from the previous week still stung, but the sight of Azalyn in such pain erased his hurt a fraction. They may only be acquaintances who would discuss issues related to Kelzal and never be lovers again, but after everything his former female had been through, Keltor couldn’t just walk away when she was in such distress. Especially if it had to do with interactions and treatment by others inside the palace; Azalyn was mother to the heir and Keltor wouldn’t tolerate disrespect.
He approached slowly, careful to keep his footsteps light. Thanks to the sound of cascading water, she still hadn’t noticed him when he was a foot away. Reaching out a hand, he stopped short of touching her shoulder. Instead, he clenched his fingers and said in a gentle voice, “What happened, Azalyn? If someone hurt or disrespected you inside the palace, tell me.”
Her head jerked up. At Azalyn’s red, puffy eyes and wet cheeks, he wanted to hug her close and soothe away her pain.
Since he couldn’t do that if he was to maintain distance between them, he squatted in front of her.
After wiping away her tears, she murmured, “There’s no need for concern. It’s nothing.”
He didn’t like her lying to him. “Have you gone back on your vow of honesty? Because you’re not okay, not even close.”
A flicker of irritation flashed in Azalyn’s gaze. “Honesty doesn’t mean I have to reveal all my secrets. Besides, after last week, I’m surprised you care. After all, I’m only after you for your favors, apparently.”
Sitting down on the bench next to her, Keltor stared at the fountain as he said, “I’m not a monster, Aza.” He glanced at her. “You’re still the mother of my child. Can’t we at least be civil?”
At the word “child,” Azalyn turned away from him. While quiet, he sensed she was crying again.
He had not the faintest idea why. And for some reason, that angered him.
Keltor spoke up again. “Even if you yell out that I’m a bastard during my coronation ceremony, I still won’t send you away to the Barren, Aza. If that’s your worry, then I’m not sure what else I can say to convince you of my words.”
He strained to hear her reply over the water, “I wouldn’t disrespect you that way, Keltor. I admire you far more than that.”
With a week to cool his temper, Keltor wondered about Azalyn’s former proposition. If she had been hell-bent on seducing him for favors, she probably would’ve pounced by now.
Few males could resist a female in tears.
Almost as if to read his mind and prove his conclusion, Azalyn stood and walked to the edge of the fountain, her back still to him. Her voice carried over the gurgling water, albeit scratchy from sobbing. “Have you ever thought about what you could’ve done with your life, but didn’t? Not necessarily related to us, but just for the years that have gone by?”
He could say no. But against his better judgment, he replied, “All the time.”
She bobbed her head. “That’s all I was doing. I need to be strong for Kelzal’s sake. So rather than bottle up my emotions, I just wanted to get everything out in private so that I can be the mother he needs me to be.”
Hoping the distance would keep her talking, Keltor remained on the bench. “What were you thinking about? I hope it’s not about you living here. I wish I could let you go and live your life on Jasvar, but you know I can’t.” He paused, but pushed on. “If you were killed, I’m not sure how I’d react. Now that I’ve found you again, I need to know you’re safe, Aza.”
She didn’t reply for a few seconds, but Keltor waited. Sometimes people needed the silence to commit to something, be it a reply or a diplomatic decision.
Shaking her head, she turned to face him. “No, I understand that. Maybe one day the threats will ease, and I can go into space again. It’s just…” Her voice died down, and she plucked at her skirts. Only when her gaze lowered did she continue. “I was thinking about my decision to give up Kelzal and all that I missed.”
Keltor risked standing, but Azalyn didn’t move away. “I wish you would’ve come to me back then once you knew you were pregnant, but with time to reflect, I understand why you didn’t. To be blunt, my father still wouldn’t have approved of you as my bride. By all accounts, he had a bastard child sometime after my mother died, but never offered to claim the mother of said child. I assume that to him, she wasn’t queen material. It proves what he would’ve done with you, too.”
Azalyn looked up at that. “What? You have another sibling?”
“It’s possible. I’ve heard rumors for years, but I was never close with my father before; we were two very different people. However, ever since he’s been diagnosed with a terminal illness, he’s been making an effort, and I’ve been trying to learn more from him before he passes. If I can get him to tell me about the rumored child, I want to make things right with my unknown sibling.”
She took a step toward him. “Has your father really changed that much?”
He shrugged. “Death and realization of one’s mortality have a way of changing people.” Closing the distance between them, he put out a hand. “But enough talk of sadness and tears. I want to show you what’s under the fountain.”
Curiosity flashed in her eyes. “Under the fountain? I assumed there was an exit tunnel, but there’s more?”
“Of course. While my brother, sister, and I were royalty with many restrictions, my mother wanted us to experience some childhood joys. What’s underneath our feet is one of them.”
She stared at his hand. He nearly reached out to take hers, but waited. If there was to be any trust between them for Kelzal’s sake, he couldn’t order Azalyn around or demand unequivocal obedience.
Finally placing her hand in his, she met his gaze again. “Don’t make me regret this, Keltor. I’m coming with you out of curiosity and not because I’m trying to seduce you for favors. Accuse me of that again, and I won’t give you another chance.”
He squeezed her hand in his. “You won’t regret it, Aza. What I’m about to show you not many people know about. That says volumes about what I think of you.”
Never taking his gaze from hers, Keltor was more than aware of Azalyn’s delicate fingers in his. He wanted to bring the soft skin of her fingertips to his lips.
In that moment, it was hard to remember why he’d been so angry with her. Compared to the latest prospective bride thrown his way, Azalyn was the exact opposite. Maybe a little too stubborn at times, but unafraid to be herself. No father or family member would direct her what to do, even if it meant she refused a prince.
And that made her nearly perfect. If only he could find another female like her, one that could help ensure his people’s safety and prevent war.
Not wanting to dwell on the impossible, Keltor tugged her behind him and down the stairs at the rear of the fountain. The steps led to a long corridor. Straight ah
ead was the exit to just outside the hedge maze, but to the left was a sealed door. He stopped at the locked entrance. As childish as it was to keep the area for his own as a place to remember his mother and childhood—and possibly for his own children to enjoy—Keltor had done so. He allowed the computer to scan his retina.
The door opened, and he walked a few feet inside. Azalyn gasped. “It’s beautiful.”
As the multicolored lights danced across her face, he wanted to say she was more beautiful. But instead, he merely murmured, “Welcome to the water maze.”
~~~
Azalyn had been trying her best to ignore Keltor’s firm hand in hers when the door opened and she gasped.
Multicolored lights brightened the large area. A series of walkways zigged and zagged over a shallow pool of water. Statues of animals littered the planks of the walkway, along with brightly colored shapes made of some unknown composite material. But it was the centerpiece that stole her breath away.
A trio of children was carved out of stone. Each was laughing at the carved water streams hitting their bodies. While she’d never seen them so young, Azalyn instinctively knew it was Keltor and his two siblings.
“It’s beautiful.”
“Welcome to the water maze.”
Keltor’s voice snapped her back to the present, and she met his gaze again. “What is this place? And don’t just say it’s a water maze. I’m not even sure what that is.”
He nodded toward the inside of the area. “This is my mother’s invention. She saw something similar as a child, when her parents took her to a vacation outpost in space.”
Vacation outposts had been in fashion before the war with the Brevkan. Afterward, Kelderans had been banned from traveling to them because of safety concerns. “Your mother designed this?”
The Heir (Kelderan Runic Warriors #3) Page 6