by Nic Saint
“Your mom seemed fine,” I finally said, deciding to break the silence.
“Yeah, she had a good day.”
“You mean she’s not always like this?”
He shook his head. “Like I said, sometimes she forgets who I am.”
“Johnny the milkman, huh?”
“Yup. Or worse.”
“Bozo the Clown?”
“No. Sometimes she thinks I’m Dad, and tries to kiss me.”
“Oops.”
“Yeah. Last time she said we had to try for a baby. I graciously declined.”
“That can’t have been fun for you.”
“It was funny to Aunt Ariadne. She laughed her ass off.”
“She lacks delicacy.”
“Honey, Aunt Ariadne doesn’t even know the meaning of the word.”
I could see that. Aunt Ariadne was a little rough around the edges. We’d just merged onto the Long Island Expressway when a call came in. It was Sally Borrell. Chase put her on speakerphone.
“Yes, Sally. What have you got for me?”
“Well, he’s not in any of the hospitals—and he’s not in the morgue, either.”
“That’s great news.”
“Yeah, he’s not anywhere else, either, though. He just kinda went off the grid there, Chase.”
He balled his hand into a fist and bumped it softly against the steering wheel. “What could have happened to the old man?”
“We’ll keep looking, but so far we’ve got nothing. Is it possible he had no credit cards? No bank account? Nothing?”
“That’s possible. Grandpa doesn’t believe in banks or credit institutions. Says they’re all a bunch of crooks and thieves and he wants them nowhere near his money.”
“He’s probably right, but that only makes our work more difficult.”
“What about his cell phone?”
“Hasn’t been used for days.”
“Dammit.”
There was a pause. “Is Miss Spume with you?”
“She’s sitting right next to me.”
“Tell her I’m sorry. I was way out of line before.”
“Tell her yourself. You’re on speakerphone.”
“Kingsley!”
“Borrell.”
There was another pause. “Miss Spume?”
I leaned into the cell phone, which was in its cradle on the dash. “The name is Odelia Poole.”
“Whatever. I owe you an apology, Spume. I guess I got carried away.”
“That’s all right. I can appreciate what it must feel like to lose a partner.”
“That’s an awfully nice thing to say, Spume. Maybe you’re not so bad after all.”
“Thanks. I guess.”
“Yeah. Listen, take care of Chase, will you? He’s a great guy. And we all miss him down here.”
“I know,” I said, and I did. I would miss Chase if he suddenly disappeared from my life.
“Hey, why don’t you put in for a transfer to Hampton Cove PD?” Chase asked suddenly, and I could see he wasn’t kidding either. “That way we could be colleagues again, Borrell.”
“I’ll think about it, Kingsley,” said Sally acerbically, and promptly disconnected.
“Do you think she will do it?” I asked.
“Put in for transfer? I doubt it. Hampton Cove is considered the boonies. Nobody wants to work in the boonies.”
“The boonies, huh?”
“Nobody moves from the big leagues to the minor leagues, Odelia. And Sally is no exception.”
“You did. And you said you like it.”
He gave me a grin. “I’ve got my reasons.”
“Oh?”
“One big reason, actually, and her name starts with an O and ends with Delia.”
“Mh. That’s a tough one to figure out.” But I got all warm and fuzzy inside anyway.
I arrived home just in time to find Max and Dooley all atwitter. Apparently they hadn’t stopped looking for Bambi, same way me and Chase had been looking for his grandpa. They actually thought they’d found her, locked up by some kidnapper, and they’d even heard her scream. I immediately called Chase, who was already back at the police station. So him and Uncle Alec got into my uncle’s car and met me outside within five minutes. We all filed in, Max and Dooley and me, and then we were on our way to rescue Bambi Wiggins from ‘a fate worse than death,’ as Dooley described it.
“What’s this all about?” asked my uncle.
“Attempted murder,” I said without hesitation. “Someone’s trying to murder… someone else.”
“How do you know?” asked Chase, who, once again, was the designated driver.
“I, um… happened to walk past the house and suddenly heard a loud scream.”
I didn’t explain it hadn’t been me walking past the house, nor did Chase ask how it was possible I’d gone walking past this murder house when he’d only dropped me off ten minutes before.
We soon arrived, and that’s when I saw that it was actually the Wiggins place. Huh?
“Randi and Bambi Wiggins,” Chase said. “The postal duo.”
I had a strong suspicion I knew exactly what was going on here. For once, my two sleuthing felines had made a boo-boo. But there was no backing out now. We were going to have to bite the bullet. Chase looked through the window into the Wiggins living room as my uncle rang the bell.
“Be careful!” Dooley said. “He’s got an axe!”
And that’s when we heard loud screams coming from inside the house.
“There! That’s Bambi!” Max cried. “Hurry!”
My uncle pounded the door with his fist, and Chase said, “Can’t see a thing. Just the biggest Christmas tree I’ve ever seen in my entire life. That thing is huge!”
The entire house was dressed up for Christmas, actually, with a big sleigh on the roof, a Santa dangling precariously from the second-floor window, and Christmas lights all around.
The door swung open and Randi Wiggins appeared, looking as jovial and cheerful as ever. For the occasion the big guy was dressed in a knitted Christmas sweater depicting Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Cute. “Hey there, Chief,” he said. “What’s going on?”
“My niece heard screams,”’ said the Chief. “May we come in and take a look?”
“Screams? Oh, that must be Willa. She’s been screaming up a storm.”
Of course. I’d totally forgotten that Bambi was expecting. She must have had that baby by now, which would explain the screams, just like Randi said.
“He’s just trying to confuse you,” said Max. “Ask about Bambi!”
“Yeah, we want to see Bambi!” Dooley added.
“We want proof of life!”
“Is Bambi in?” I asked.
Randi shrugged. “She’s kinda busy. Now’s not a really good time, Odelia.”
“Don’t take no for an answer,” Max said. “Demand to see Bambi.”
“We still need to see her, I’m afraid.”
Randi stepped aside. “Suit yourself. But I’m warning you. It’s not pretty.”
“He’s killed her,” said Max.
“There’s blood all over the place,” said Dooley.
“Poor Bambi!”
“We’re too late!”
Uncle Alec walked past the man and entered the house, followed by Chase, me, and the cats.
“Um… what are these cats doing here?” Randi asked, surprised.
“Oh, those are mine,” I said. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Sure don’t,” said Randi. “I actually have one myself.”
The house was all dressed up for Christmas, and cozy as heck. A huge Christmas tree dominated the living room, and there were little lights everywhere. Bambi and Randi were obviously big on Christmas. I just wished my own home was as Christmassy as theirs, but I hadn’t really taken the time this year. Maybe once, when I had a family of my own, I would pay more attention to the holidays. I knew I wanted to. It just seemed like a lot of hassle to go through just for myself and M
ax.
“So where’s Bambi?” I asked, searching around. Not that I believed she was being held captive by her own husband, but it was the only way to calm down Max and Dooley, who’d gone berserk. And I actually wanted to see her, too. I liked Bambi, and had totally forgotten about her pregnancy.
“Upstairs,” said Randi.
“Nice place you’ve got here, Randi,” said my uncle.
“Great fan of Christmas, are you?” Chase asked.
“That’s more my wife. She’s big on Christmas. If it was up to her she’d have those lights up all year.”
“How the hell did you get that sleigh on the roof?” asked Uncle Alec.
“It wasn’t easy!”
“Less talk, more showing us Bambi,” Max growled.
We all moved up the stairs behind Randi. “Don’t mind the mess,” he said, opening the baby gate. He gestured at a bunch of toys lying around. A big Barbie and an actual nursery station. “I know it’s a little early, as we only brought Willa home last week. But you know how grammies and grandpas are. We told them she has no use for toys just yet but they just couldn’t help themselves.”
We all filed into the baby room, and I held my breath when I saw how gorgeous it was. Bambi and Randi had really outdone themselves. The theme was a pretty pink, and a collection of cat paintings adorned one wall, with a huge drawing of Bambi, Randi and Baby Willa dominating another one. It looked like the mural Cameron and Mitchell had on the wall of Lily’s room in Modern Family: Bambi and Randi depicted as angels, Willa’s cot right beneath it.
“Bambi, sorry about the intrusion, honey,” Randi said softly as he padded up to his wife, “but some of the neighbors must have heard Willa scream and called the cops on us.”
Bambi laughed. “Of course they did. She’s a real fire engine, this one, isn’t she?”
In her arms, she was holding tiny Willa, swaddled up in a cloud of pink. Willa had her eyes closed, and looked like a regular angel.
“Oh, my God, what a cutie!” I exclaimed.
Willa must have sensed our presence, for she let out a loud wail.
“So that’s the sound you heard, Odelia,” Chase said with a grin. “A baby crying.”
“I guess so,” I said, cutting a look to Max and Dooley, who were completely discombobulated by the sight of Willa.
“So… Bambi hasn’t been abducted?” Max asked.
“Bambi and Randi had a baby,” I explained.
“Baby Willa,” said Randi, sidling up to his wife and his newborn baby girl.
“Willa Wiggins?” asked Uncle Alec. “Really?”
Randi shrugged. “Hey, it wasn’t my idea.”
“My favorite great-aunt was called Willa,” Bambi explained. She flicked a switch on a miniature Christmas tree and the moment the lights flickered on, Willa stopped wailing and stared at it in fascination.
“So that’s the trick, huh?” asked Bambi. “You like Christmas lights just as much as your mommy does.”
“This is so sweet,” said Chase. “I’m sorry for the intrusion, Bambi—Randi.”
“Oh, that’s all right,” said Randi. “I guess not all of the neighbors have heard the news. That’ll change soon when we invite them over for the christening.”
“You’re inviting the whole neighborhood?” I asked.
“Sure. We can all share this miracle of life.”
Uncle Alec smiled. “I remember when Odelia was just a tiny bundle of joy. When my sister brought her home from the hospital and asked me to be her godfather, I was over the moon.” He wiped away a tear.
I rubbed his back. “When I have a baby you’re going to be its godfather, too, Uncle Alec.”
He looked up in surprise. “I am?”
“Of course.” For some reason, my gaze wandered to Chase. He caught it and came over to plant a kiss on my lips. Uncle Alec blinked at the sight, then gave me a wink. I knew that each time the holidays came around, he had a tough time—remembering how he and Aunt Ginny had wanted to start a family, too. At least he had Mom and me—and Gran, of course.
“Watch out!” suddenly Dooley cried, and rushed forward. Randi had picked up a package and was opening it. When he saw Dooley zooming in, he hesitated, and gave me a questioning look.
“Dooley, it’s all right,” I said, picking up the cat.
“But… he’s got an axe!” Dooley cried.
“I’m sure it’s fine,” I insisted.
Randi opened the package. “Got you something, babe,” he said, and handed his wife a pacifier in the shape of a Christmas tree.
“Oh, honey!” Bambi exclaimed. “You found it! And just in time for Christmas!”
“Of course I found it,” said Randi, his face creasing into a wide grin. “I’m Mr. Postal, aren’t I?”
“You sure are,” she said, and placed the pacifier between baby Willa’s lips. Instantly she began to suck on it, making happy noises.
“I just knew it,” said Bambi. “The only way to make a Wiggins baby happy is to give it a Christmas gift.”
“Runs in the family,” said Randi.
I set Dooley down on the floor and enjoyed the warmth of Chase’s arm around me. When Bambi offered to let me hold her baby for a moment, I was touched. Ever so carefully, I took Willa into my arms. She was such a cutie-pie! I caught Max and Dooley watching on with bated breath, so I crouched down and showed them the baby. Both cats looked on with amazement.
“It’s… so small,” said Dooley.
“And it smells so good,” Max said.
“This is Max and this is Dooley,” I whispered in Willa’s ear. “They’re the sweetest and smartest cats in the world.” A big orange cat, seated next to Max, cleared her throat. This was probably Randi and Bambi’s cat. “And so are you, of course, pretty one,” I added.
“That’s Ellen,” said Randi. “She’s already used to the baby, aren’t you, Ellen?”
“I think it might take my cats a little while,” I said. “They look pretty shocked.”
The visit over, we all returned to the car and Chase drove us home. And we’d just turned the corner to our street when Max said, “Whenever you and Chase want to have a baby, it’s fine with me and Dooley.”
I laughed. “Maybe you’re ready, but I’m not, Max.”
“What was that?” asked Chase.
“I think Max and Dooley have baby fever.”
He smiled. “I have baby fever.”
“Me too,” Uncle Alec chimed in.
The snow was coming down hard now, and all around us the world had turned white. Twinkling lights indicated Christmas was almost upon us, and I suddenly felt happy. I hugged Max and Dooley, who’d jumped up onto my lap.
“If you have a baby, are you still going to keep us?” asked Dooley.
I rubbed him behind his ear. “Of course I’m going to keep you. You’re my babies, too.”
“Odelia is talking to her cats again,” said Chase, shaking his head.
“You’re just going to have to get used to it, Chase,” said Uncle Alec.
“Oh, but I am,” he said. “In fact soon enough I may start talking to cats myself!”
“I hope not,” I said softly. “Cause then you’ll discover all my secrets.”
“Don’t worry, Odelia,” Max said. “Dooley and me will guard your secrets with our lives. Isn’t that right, Dooley?”
“Damn skippy,” said Dooley. “We will take your secrets to the grave!”
“Please don’t mention the word grave,” Max said with a shiver. “It gives me the creeps.”
“We will take your secrets to cat heaven!”
“Cat heaven?” asked Chase with a frown. “Did someone just mention cat heaven?”
Max, Dooley and I shared a look of alarm. Uh-oh… Had Chase just overheard a cat convo? Now that would be a first.
CHAPTER 12
T he next day was the day before Christmas, and I decided to go into the office to give Dan the bad news in person. I’d waited until the last minute, hoping the May
or would change his mind and answer one of the many messages I left on his phone, but no such luck. Dan wasn’t happy. He said it was a disgrace that the only newspaper in town did not have the scoop on the new Santa. More than that, though, I think he was offended that he’d been replaced, probably for the first time in his life.
When I left the office, I ran into Chase. “I’ve been looking for you,” he said, and his face was flushed. “I’ve got a lead on my grandpa. Guess where he is?”
“The hospital?”
“Right here in Hampton Cove! Someone saw him get on the Jitney two days ago, headed for The Hamptons. I talked to the dispatcher and they have him on the nine o’clock bus to Hampton Cove. The bus picked him up at 59th, between Lexington and Third. So I got in touch with the driver and he says he remembers him. Says he got off at the Hampton Cove stop and was met by some guy.”
“What guy?”
Chase shook his head. “No description. All he remembers is he was wearing a Knicks cap.”
“That narrows it down. So what do we do now?”
“No idea.” He looked unhappy. “Why would my grandfather come to Hampton Cove and not get in touch with me? It doesn’t make sense. The only thing I can think of is that he wanted to surprise me. Spend Christmas with me. But then he met Knicks Cap Guy and vanished into thin air.”
“First the well-dressed man and now this guy. Your grandfather keeps running into suspicious men.”
“And ends up disappearing.”
“But someone must have seen him.”
“I talked to some people but no one remembers. Which isn’t surprising. The stop is on Main Street. It’s a pretty busy place.”
“None of the shopkeepers remember anything? Wilbur Vickery?”
“Nope.”
“Looks like we both struck out. I still have no idea who the new Santa is and you lost your grandfather.” In the grand scheme of things, it was more important to find Chase’s granddad, though. Santa would be revealed tonight. His grandfather just might have run into the wrong people and be in big trouble.
“I can’t believe this,” he said, shaking his head. “He came here to see me and now he’s gone.”
“We’ll find him,” I promised. “Somehow we’ll find your grandfather, Chase.”