He sighed heavily, and adjusted the towel to cover his hardness. In a petulant tone he said, “Couldn’t we just call and say you have the flu, my sweet?”
Dinner was delicious and his parents were gracious as ever. I had stopped going to their house every day for work as I was nearing the end of the old filing cabinet and would soon run out of things to do. I wasn’t too concerned though, my severance package would last a lot longer now that I didn’t have the high cost of living in the city. And of course living with Ryder meant I had nothing to pay for really. I was a kept woman and surprisingly, I loved it.
I felt my phone buzz and looked at it under the table.
The text read, “I know I messed up Alex, I just miss you.”
It was Andrew again. I hit delete once more and picked up my fork, blushing as I nibbled on a piece of cheesecake.
“Who was that?” Ryder asked.
“Oh just Lee, I think she wants to meet up for tea this week,” I lied and felt horrible for it, my cheeks burning even redder.
I didn’t want to think about Andrew, but couldn’t help but wonder what he was up to. Why now, after weeks of me being gone?
I should probably block the number, but I wanted to see if he texted again. I didn’t feel any attraction to him, but I was dying to know if Sylvie had dumped him or if he still loved me.
I didn’t want him, but my petty, mean side wanted him to still want me. I finished my cheesecake and caught Ryder staring at me. I smiled and he looked away as I blushed again.
I should just block the jerk, but I did want to know what he was up to. Not knowing would be scarier for me.
Andrew texted me three more times the next day, all variations of, “I miss you and want you back.”
I deleted each one and contemplated blocking him every time. I didn’t know how to react, I felt horrible lying to Ryder, but there was an undeniable urge to find out what was going on. I decided to talk to Lee about it when we met for lunch.
“Alex, over here.” Lee waved at me from a booth near the back of the small restaurant. We’d had been coming to Nancy’s Cafe for as long as I could remember. I slid into the seat and grabbed a menu even though I always ordered the same thing here, a roast beef dip.
“How are you Lee? Is my dad treating you well today, or is he overworking you?” I asked in a teasing tone.
“You know how your dad is, he’s such a softie that I have to step up and give the other girls heck from time to time. I’ve been helping him at the back sometimes too. He’s been trying to talk me into going to school to become a pharmacist,” she said with a bashful smile.
“That would be amazing! And take the pressure off me,” I said and laughed.
“Now how about you? How’s Ryder? You two have been the talk of the town, everybody thinks you moved in already,” Lee said with a scandalous whisper.
“I haven’t officially, well, I guess I have, but I can’t admit it yet. It’s not proper, according to my mom,” I said.
“I know everybody has an opinion, what really matters is what you two think.”
“Well, we think it’s pretty awesome,” I finally admitted.
“Have you heard about Brittany? She’s been back in town the last few weeks,” Lee whispered, looking around.
“Oh my God, no, I haven’t. Why is she here?”
“I think her boyfriend dumped her and she moved back into her parent’s house.”
“Oh, that sounds familiar,” I said with a grimace.
“You are nothing like her! Don’t even compare yourself to her situation!”
“You’re sweet Lee, but I’m kind of an idiot too. Andrew started texting me again.”
“Are you kidding me? What did Ryder say? He’ll tear Andrew apart if he sees him.”
An older waitress interrupted at that moment to take our orders. I knew I had to be careful about what I told Lee, but it felt so nice to get some of this off my chest.
After the waitress left, I continued. “He doesn’t know and I don’t know what to say to him.”
“You’ve got to tell him, girl, there’s no way around this. He has to know,” Lee replied in a very serious tone.
“I just don’t want Ryder to flip out, and part of me wants to find out what Andrew wants.”
“After what he did to you, you should block him and send him packing.”
“I know that, it’s just hard to cut him out completely. And what if he’s up to something nasty? I’d rather keep tabs on where he is.”
“I just don’t want to see you break Ryder’s heart again. If you still have feelings for Andrew, you have to let Ryder know,” she said with her brows knit together in concern.
“Oh god, no… no feelings left, but I am a little worried that he’s decided to contact me again. I have a bad feeling about it, like he’s plotting against me. And in this case, it’s better to keep your enemy close, you know?”
Lee nodded and our food arrived. We dug in, happily switching the conversation to the cute things Lee’s children had been doing lately. Lee had to get back to work a short time later, and I went back to Ryder’s house.
Or our house, as I was already calling it in my head.
By the next day, I had four more texts from Andrew, all saying essentially the same thing. Ryder came home just as I was pulling a roast chicken from the oven; everything else was on the table.
“A guy could get used to this kind of treatment,” he said and kissed me on the top of the head as I carved the bird.
“Yeah, yeah, don’t get any ideas, cowboy,” I replied teasingly and tried to hit him with an oven mitt.
After we settled in and started eating, Ryder suddenly looked very serious, and said, “Alex, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”
“What is it Ryder?” I asked, concerned and nervous at his tone.
“You know I’m not with Brittany anymore, right?” Alex nodded yes. Ryder continued, “Well, here’s the thing about that. We never really got divorced.”
“What do you mean never really? Either you did or you didn’t!” I blurted.
“Okay, we didn’t. Brittany has been back in town and I haven’t been able to get her to sign the papers,” he said.
“You knew she was back? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t want to alarm you, darlin’. And I wonder if she’s behind some of the weird stuff that’s been going on, like Rio getting out, my truck being keyed and your tires getting slashed. There’s also been a couple of incidents down at the clinic, just some graffiti sprayed on the walls and eggs thrown at the place.”
“You mean you think she tried to kill my horse?” I asked, horrified.
“I’m saying it’s a possibility. There’s nothing I can prove, but I need to be nice to her until she signs,” he said with a frown. I could tell this was weighing heavy on him but I felt betrayed that he hadn’t mentioned it until now.
“You can’t get a divorce without being nice to her? That doesn’t even make sense, you’re divorcing her because she’s a nasty bitch, why should you be friendly to her?”
“Alex, I know you don’t like her, but you really need to let all that go. I don’t love her, I love you, and nothing she does is ever going to change that.”
I didn’t reply, I left the table and spent the rest of the evening with my arms curled up around my knees on the couch watching mindless television.
Ryder cleaned up and packed up the leftovers and did the dishes. Afterwards he sat on the other end of the couch looking contrite, but my guilt and my own jealousy prevented me from reaching out to him.
The next morning Ryder left for work before I awoke. He left a note on my side table, it was written in his beautiful scrawl and said, “Alex, I promise I will make this up to you. I love you, Ryder.”
My heart melted when I read it and I knew I couldn’t stay mad at him. As soon as he was home from work, I planned on making it up to him. We should have spent last night exploring each other�
��s bodies and planning our future, not sitting in silence as I threw a little tantrum.
I checked my phone and saw several more texts from Andrew. He was trying harder now, bringing up our favorite memories.
“Do you remember the time we ate lobster on the rooftop at La Tour? I miss you, A.”
“I can still smell you on the pillows Alex. I need you home with me.”
“It was a mistake, please forgive me Alex. I’m begging you.”
I deleted every one of them and decided to reply to him one time. I sat up in bed and thought about it. I finally wrote, “I am happy where I am, please leave me alone and let me move on with my life.” That would hopefully kill his obsessive texting and give him enough of a hint to leave me the hell alone.
I didn’t have to head down to the ranch today because Ryder’s parents were both busy loading cattle for auction with the seasonal help. I decided to spend most of the day in bed feeling sorry for myself. I was feeling super tired and moody, my breasts were sore and I wondered if I’d be getting my period soon.
Besides, I had downloaded a new book and wanted to try and get through it. It was something with sexy vampires and sexier women, but the only thing on my mind today was a certain cowboy.
By the time Ryder got home, I had been on pins and needles waiting for him so I could beg his forgiveness. I met him at the door, refreshed and energized, and jumped into his arms.
“I’m sorry Ryder, I overreacted,” I said quietly, looking up at him. “I just get so scared when I think about losing you, I love you so much.”
“Oh Alex, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I was just trying to protect you from her,” Ryder said and kissed my cheek.
I felt a stab of guilt as I thought about Andrew’s texts but I didn’t want to add more stress to the situation so I kept them to myself. I would just block the number and forget he ever contacted me.
Ryder looked so sad that tilted my head up and I kissed his neck, breathing in the heady scent of musk. I knew he must be exhausted after a long day making ranch calls, so I wiggled down out of his arms and led him to the couch.
I got behind him and massaged his neck and shoulders, feeling the tension ease out of his body as he closed his eyes. I studied his face as I worked the muscles, my eyes following his strong jaw line, his dark stubble flecked with silver.
I loved this man with every cell in my body, it scared me to imagine my life without him now, and I cursed myself for the thousandth time for having ever left him.
I opened the front door of my parents’ house and called for my mom. I wandered into the kitchen and saw the table full of freshly harvested tomatoes. Mom popped her head in from the back porch and said, “I’m out here dear, grab a glass of lemonade and join me. I could use a hand.”
I poured myself a glass and settling into the swing next to my mom. I grabbed some beans and started shelling them, matching Mom’s rhythm.
“Andrew has been calling here,” Mom said suddenly. “He sounds frantic Alex, is everything okay?”
“Is this why you invited me over during the day?” I asked, feeling a little betrayed.
“Well, I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t know how Ryder would react if he found out, or if he knows already.”
“He doesn’t know, and he would freak out. I haven’t told him because I don’t want him to tear Andrew apart and end up in jail or something,” I replied, snapping beans a little faster as I got angrier.
“Well, what are you going to do about it?” Mom asked.
“I texted him to leave me alone and I blocked his number.”
“I don’t think that’s enough Alex, you two were together for three years, it’s unfair to expect him to be okay with a text.”
“Are you serious? Did you forget that he cheated on me?” I retorted. I was livid; I didn’t think I owed Andrew anything. I pulled fiercely at a bean, tearing the pod in half.
“Be careful Alex. There’s no reason to get mad at me, I’m on your side. I’m just trying to be reasonable, he sounds really upset and he really misses you. I think you need to talk to him, let him know you’ve moved on.”
“You mean you talked to him? Mom, how could you? It’s seriously none of your business. If he calls again, tell him we were through weeks ago and he needs to get it through his head and leave me alone.”
“I answer the phone Alex, of course I talked to him,” Mom replied. My parents didn’t have caller ID, I’d forgotten that they weren’t exactly living in the twenty first century.
“Okay Mom, I will deal with it, but you need to promise me that you’ll stop talking to him.”
“I promise sweetie. Now let’s get working on canning veggies.”
Back at Ryder’s, I settled in and picked up my phone. My hands were shaking when I hit Andrew’s number. I pushed, ‘call,’ and held the phone up to my ear.
“Hello?” Andrew answered on the second ring.
“Hey Andrew, it’s me, Alex.”
“Oh my god, Alex! Did you get my texts? Emails? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you!”
“I did Andrew, I sent one back. I need you to stop texting me. I’ve moved on and you need to as well.”
“Alex, you have to give me a chance. I miss you so much, it hasn’t been the same around here since you left. I broke up with Sylvie right after you left, but I wanted to give you your space. I couldn’t wait any longer though Alex, fuck, I need you here.”
“I am not getting into this with you. Leave me alone. I am back with Ryder and I am finally happy, just be happy for me and let me live my life.”
“The dumb cowboy? You were miserable with that guy!”
“I was not. I was miserable in this town, but I’ve been thinking about Ryder ever since I left. I don’t know if I ever even loved you, I don’t know if we ever had a chance.”
“Don’t say that Alex, what we had was great, we could have that again. Please babe, come home.”
“I am home Andrew, I am finally home.” I replied and looked around Ryder’s house, realizing it truly was our house now.
“I’m coming out there Alex, we need to talk about this face to face.”
“Don’t you dare Andrew, you are not welcome here, I don’t want to see you,” I almost screamed into the phone, imagining Ryder losing his mind if Andrew came around.
“You owe me this Alex, you are the one who ran off on me, I didn’t want you to go,” Andrew whined.
“You fucked around on me Andrew, or did you forget? Do you know how it feels like to walk in on your friend and your boyfriend fucking on your bed? Can you even imagine how I felt having to go to work and know that everyone in the office was talking about it behind my back? I was an idiot for ever thinking you’d be faithful to me, but why did you have to do it with her? Why did you have to make me the office joke?” My anger surprised me; I hadn’t realized that I had been holding it in. It felt good to get it out, but it only reaffirmed the fact that he was an ass and I had been stupid to be with him. I had been stupid to ever leave Ryder.
Andrew was quiet then, I could hear him exhale, a long and sorrowful sound. “Alex, please,” he said, his voice quiet now, “I fucked up, I get it, I’m sorry. I need to see you. I’m coming up in three days.”
With that, the phone went dead and Andrew was gone.
“Andrew! No! Don’t come here!” I screamed into the useless phone.
How was I supposed to manage this one?
I felt jumpy from the moment Ryder got home. I couldn’t concentrate, and felt like checking my phone every five minutes.
“Are you okay, darlin’?” he asked when I looked at my phone for the tenth time in five minutes.
“I think I might be getting a touch of the flu,” I replied. In reality, my stomach was jumping and I felt like I was going to throw up. “I think I need to go lay down for a while.”
We headed upstairs and I flopped onto my back on the big bed. I sighed and started counting the knots in the cedar beam directly a
bove the bed.
“Tell me what’s up, I know you’ve got something on your mind,” Ryder said and leaned over me, looking me in the eyes.
“It’s nothing. I feel a bit sick but I’m feeling better now that you’re home.” I pulled him towards me, feeling slightly dizzy, but it passed when he wrapped his strong arms around me and chased away all my fears and anxieties.
I traced the outline of his bulging muscles through the fabric of his shirt. I could feel the heat from his body warming me, my nausea and dizziness long forgotten as I started to feel a familiar melting in my core. I rolled towards him and reached down for his belt buckle.
“So did you really win this or did you buy it?” I asked in a teasing tone and slowly slid his belt out.
“I did win it, you were there, remember?” he laughed and kissed my neck.
“Oh that’s right. I think I awarded you the, ‘biggest cock,’ buckle at our little shower rodeo, right?”
He laughed again and said, “This is from the day I asked you out… but I like your award better. Want another go?”
He pulled his jeans open and slid them down just enough to pull out his thick shaft. It was fully hard, deliciously long and perfectly veined. I forgot all about everything but him and his amazing body right in that very moment.
I slid my hand along the shaft and tickled the sensitive ridge around the head. He gasped and slightly thrust forward. He reached for me, quickly pulling me out of my clothes and let me tear at his.
“Lie down, let me save a horse,” I whispered with a giggle. He rolled onto his back, put his hands behind his head and watched me straddle him. I spread my legs, reached down, parted my lips and found the head of his cock.
I pressed it against me, just the tip, and slid the head to my clit. I gripped the shaft and teased it against my own sensitive, sweet spot while he watched, his eyes full of lust.
“Let me see your ass,” he commanded. I lifted one long leg and turned around, wiggled my ass and reached back to spread myself for his view.
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