by Anna Sugden
As the bedside clock hit midnight, J.B. admitted to himself that he’d found fault with every woman he’d met tonight because he’d compared them all to Issy. And they’d fallen short.
She’d pretty much ruined them for him.
* * *
“I’M CONFUSED.” Issy sighed as she opened a pizza box and placed it on the breakfast bar.
Sapphie, on the opposite side of the counter, did the same with a second of eight extralarge pies to feed the hungry men decorating Issy’s soon-to-be nursery. “What’s up?”
Issy looked over her shoulder, but 80s rock continued to blare from a boom box and there was no interruption in the rumble of deep male voices.
“Don’t worry,” Sapphie said. “They’re still hard at it. Although the smell of pizza will have them out of there shortly, so spill.”
Issy laid out a third box. “Ever since J.B. got back, he’s been acting strangely.”
“I thought the two of you were getting on well. From the way he’s behaved toward you today, he’s hooked on you.” She gave Issy a knowing smile. “He’s superattentive and very touchy-feely. And those looks he keeps giving you...” Sapphie fanned herself. “Phew! Scorching.”
“Exactly. If you didn’t know better, you’d think there was something going on between us. Except we’re not a couple.”
“Have you asked him what’s brought on this new behavior?”
Issy set a stack of plates next to the pizzas. “It’s not as easy as you make it sound, Sapphie. We’ve hardly seen each other. The Cats’ schedule has been brutal since they got back. He’s stopped by unexpectedly a couple of times, to see how I am, but he doesn’t stay long.” She lowered her voice. “And he keeps kissing me.”
“Now I’m confused. Kissing is usually a good thing.” Sapphie frowned. “Unless they’re friendly pecks.”
“They’re definitely not platonic.” Issy’s cheeks warmed at the memory of some of J.B.’s short, hot kisses. “But what am I supposed to say to him? ‘How come you don’t want a serious relationship with me, but you keep kissing me like I matter to you?’”
Sapphie laughed. “That is confusing. He hasn’t said anything to explain this new überfriendly behavior?”
“Not a word. I feel as if I’m missing something. Does he assume we’re dating?”
“Why not let it ride for a bit and see where it goes?”
“I have to think about Peanut. I need to know where I stand.”
“My godchild won’t be here for a while yet,” Sapphie said gently. “A lot can change in five months.”
“I don’t want another fling, thank you.”
“Then speak to him. You have the perfect opportunity this evening, once we’ve all left.”
“I’m afraid raising the issue will spoil what we’ve got.”
“Which is why, if it were me, I’d let sleeping dogs lie.”
“I wish I could, but I can’t. I need to know.”
“Why?” Sapphie asked. “And don’t tell me for Peanut’s sake.”
Issy was saved from having to find an answer when Taylor came out of the spare room to get drinks.
He grinned when he saw the pizzas lined up on the kitchen counter. “Great. I’m starving.” He stuck his head back into the nursery. “Food’s here.”
“Beers are in the cooler,” Issy called out. “Help yourself.”
A chorus of approval greeted the announcement.
Issy smiled. She’d enjoyed having the men here today. Their noise and bustle had filled her apartment. Even now, as they piled out of the nursery, they were razzing each other. This was the first time she’d been around a group of men—her family had been overrun by females.
In no time her small kitchen was crowded with big men loading their plates.
“We’re pretty much done. Just a few things to finish off once the paint dries.” J.B. tossed his arm casually over her shoulder. “Want to take a look?”
Issy arched an eyebrow at Sapphie. “Lead on.”
The nursery was taking shape nicely. The trim gleamed glossy white. Below the line of the windowsill was a soft kelly green, which Blade had turned into rolling hills. Above the hills was the blue of a summer’s day. The white ceiling had been textured to look like fluffy clouds, with patches of sky in between. The sun encircled the light fixture and, in the far corner, by the built-in closet, he’d painted a rainbow as if it burst out the doors.
Issy was touched. “I love it. It’s even better than I imagined. I can’t believe how much trouble you’ve gone to.”
“It was our pleasure.” J.B. squeezed her shoulder. “Blade said he’ll come back next time the Cats have a free day to add the finishing touches and help you apply the wall stickers.”
“That’s so nice of him.”
“Yeah, real nice.” J.B. snorted dismissively. “The crib and the dresser are assembled, too. We put them in your bedroom, with the rest of the baby stuff, for now. I’ll help you move it when the nursery is finished.”
She turned her head to smile at him. “Thank you.”
Suddenly she was too aware that they were standing alone in the empty room. Of the weight of his arm on her shoulder. Her pulse skipped at the desire in his eyes as they dropped to focus on her mouth.
They’d barely touched when a fluttering sensation in her stomach reminded her of Peanut’s presence. And her responsibilities.
She pulled back and slipped away from his arm, forcing a bright note into her voice. “You’ve earned your dinner. You’d better hurry or your pals will have eaten all the pizza.”
He said nothing as he walked back to the kitchen with her, but the message in his eyes said they’d talk about it later.
After they’d eaten, the guys cleaned up and left.
“I’m off, too.” Sapphie grabbed her purse. “Early flight to LA. That famous bad-boy chef wants me to look at his business.”
Issy accompanied her to the front door. “Aren’t you worried he’ll yell at you, like he does on TV?”
“If he does, I’ll yell right back. Besides, I’ll be the one telling him to shape up, not the other way around.” Sapphie gave her a pointed look. “Will you be okay?”
“I’ll be fine.” She hugged her friend. “Either way.”
Issy watched until Sapphie’s taillights disappeared in the distance before she closed the door and returned upstairs.
J.B. stood in the doorway of the nursery. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “You guys did a great job.”
“That’s the beauty of teamwork. Especially when you have a PITA project manager like Blade to orchestrate the whole thing.”
“You gave him enough abuse because of it.”
“That’s the downside of being the boss. One reason I’m glad I don’t wear the C for the Ice Cats.”
She looked at him curiously. “You don’t want to be captain?”
“I don’t mind being one of the voices in the locker room that guys listen to, but I don’t need the aggravation.”
Her heart sank. Another area where J.B. didn’t want responsibility. Given how much he valued the team and his career, that didn’t bode well for her or their baby.
Maybe she didn’t need clarification on where she stood that badly after all.
“Blade’s got a real artistic talent.” She ran her fingers over the “grass” on the nearest wall, then walked over to the closet to study the rainbow. “And an amazing attention to detail. You can almost see a pot of gold. It’s hard to imagine a big guy like him, who throws such punishing hits on the ice, could be so sweet.”
“Yeah. He’s real sweet,” J.B. growled. “Don’t be fooled. He’s as dangerous as he looks.”
“You’re not jealous, are you?”
“No, because I know you think my face is prettier than his.”
“You’re not bad.”
“Not bad?” He stepped closer, until he was looming over her. “You can do better than that.”
He didn’t scare her. She moistened
her lips. “I don’t know. Blade has such clever hands, too.”
“He may be skilled with a paintbrush, but I’m way more talented with my hands than he is.”
“Really?” Issy was stepping into dangerous territory. There was only way this flirting would end. Her heart pounded.
Sex with J.B. would mean nothing more than it had in Antigua. He wouldn’t magically change his mind about commitment or responsibility. Was she prepared to accept that?
He trailed a finger gently down her face to her mouth, then traced its outline before lingering along the seam of her lips.
She swallowed hard. “I can see that you have a talented touch.”
His fingertip left her mouth to caress the edge of her jaw to her ear, then down the side of her neck to the place at the base of her throat where her pulse throbbed.
She couldn’t help tilting her head back to give him better access.
He took advantage, pressing a hot, openmouthed kiss to the spot. “Still need convincing?”
Before she could formulate a coherent reply, J.B. nibbled his way up her throat. He kissed her chin, then his tongue skated along her lower lip, teasing her mouth open. Wrapping his arms tightly around her, he settled his lips firmly onto hers.
This time Issy didn’t pull away but locked her arms around his neck and kissed him back.
Their bodies pressed closer, and still closer, until clothing became an unwelcome barrier and they moaned with frustration. She dropped her hands to his waist—to pull the faded Cats T-shirt from his jeans—then slipped them underneath to the silky skin of his back. His arms loosened, so his fingers could skim up her sides to rest on the undercurve of her breasts. Their caresses grew more urgent.
Issy wanted more. Much more. She ached with need. But, in the recesses of her fogged brain, she knew that giving in to that need now would be a mistake.
Slowly, regretfully, she eased back on the kiss.
J.B. didn’t object, resting his forehead against hers.
They said nothing but were both breathing heavily.
Finally he lifted his head. He watched her carefully, as if he wasn’t sure how she’d react. He didn’t release her, but his hold loosened slightly, giving her the opportunity to move away should she want to.
She didn’t. Issy cleared her throat. “Where are we going with this, J.B.?”
“Where do you want to go with it?”
“Oh, no. You’re not turning that around onto me. You agreed to the ground rules for our being together, then proceeded to break them at every opportunity.”
He hitched a shoulder. “I’m not very good with rules.”
“You are when you need to be. Hockey has strict rules.”
“True.”
“So you can abide by rules—when it matters.”
“You matter,” he said quietly.
She allowed herself to be pleased for a moment. “What does that mean?”
He exhaled heavily. “I want to see where we can go with this.”
“This, as in ‘us’? You want us to be a couple?”
He nodded.
“You know that any relationship will have to include Peanut? We’re a package deal.”
“Peanut isn’t due for five months. That gives us plenty of time to figure this thing out.”
His answer set off warning bells. “You want us to sleep together until the baby’s born and then you’ll decide whether or not you want to continue fishing or cut bait.”
J.B. ran his hand over his head. “I don’t know how I’ll feel when Peanut is born. I only know how I feel right now. There’s definitely something between us. You feel it, too. I want to explore what we have, but I won’t make false promises.”
His honesty should have made things easier, but it did the opposite. Issy also wanted to explore the attraction between them, but she had to be realistic. How could that change his feelings about relationships? About responsibility?
“What’s the point? We’d have a good time for a while, but we both know that one of us will be disappointed down the line.” She matched his honesty. “We have a child on the way. One who’ll be affected by how this turns out.”
To give him credit, he didn’t back down. “I won’t lie to make you feel comfortable. You deserve better than that. All I can say is that I feel differently about you than about any other woman I’ve dated. I don’t know if what I feel is, or can be, anything more. I can only promise I’ll always be honest. You need to decide if you can accept that.”
She couldn’t argue with his sincerity and she appreciated that he didn’t play games. The big question was could she take a chance on J.B.?
Issy recalled her earlier thoughts about him. She’d seen a side of J.B. that he didn’t understand himself. She knew he was capable of the things he denied—commitment, responsibility—in other contexts. He’d already admitted that he cared about her enough that he wanted to make a change in his life. So if their relationship worked and J.B. made the commitment to her and their child, she knew he’d honor it.
Equally, if it didn’t, he’d walk away without a backward glance.
In a moment of clarity, Issy realized she wasn’t only scared for her baby. She was falling for J.B. Her bigger fear was that if she agreed to his plan, she’d tumble the rest of the way and he wouldn’t. Then she’d be left brokenhearted while he moved on.
But in protecting her heart, was she prepared to miss out on the possibility that they could make this work?
“We’ve done everything ass backward,” J.B. said. “We can’t change where we’ve come from, but we could go back and fill in some things we’ve missed out. Like, be exclusive to each other.”
“You’re prepared to give up your precious independence and freedom?”
He didn’t hesitate. “This is important to me. I want to do it right.”
“Okay.”
He continued. “We spend time together and get to know each other better.”
“You want to see if familiarity breeds contempt?”
“More like boredom. I don’t know if I can do ‘serious’ with a woman. But if there’s anyone I could do it with, it’s you.”
She studied him. “What happens to our agreement if it doesn’t work?”
“Nothing changes. You still get full custody and the financial support.”
She had to ask. “And if it does work?”
“I don’t know. This is uncharted territory for me and, as I said, I won’t make empty promises. But whatever happens, we’ll figure out the way forward together.”
His gaze met hers. She saw there a vulnerability she’d never seen before. Her decision mattered to him. He was putting himself on the line, too.
That vulnerability tipped the scales.
“All right. Let’s do this.”
J.B.’s grin lit up the room. He pulled her back to him, lowered his mouth to hers and murmured against her lips, “Let’s celebrate.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ISSY WAS OVERWHELMED. In a good way.
She’d had a small taste of J.B.’s extended family—the Badolettis and the Jelineks—at the Opening Day dinner, but that hadn’t in any way prepared her for their annual Thanksgiving party. The noise, the boisterousness, the number of people and the mountains of food. Not to mention the love, laughter and general good will.
She’d never experienced anything like it. It was every family occasion she’d ever wished she could be part of...on steroids.
This year, the Cats’ goaltender, Ike, and his new wife, Tracy, had opened their home for the party. Every room was packed with a mixing pot of family—of which Issy had become an honorary member because of her relationship with J.B.—friends, neighbors and Ice Cats.
As she looked around the packed living room from her spot on the sofa, Issy couldn’t believe how quickly her life had changed since she and J.B. had become an item. How easily she’d been absorbed into his world. It was like a fairy tale.
She’d read about such close-knit
extended families and seen them on TV. People who cared about each other, looked out for and supported each other, through good times and bad. She’d never believed she’d be part of such a group.
Issy had enjoyed being fussed over by the two moms once they’d discovered she was pregnant. Being teased by J.B.’s teammates, especially his closest friends. Being accepted into the fold by the wives and girlfriends. And, most important, being treated as though she was special by J.B.
“Holy moly, these people know how to have a good time.” Sapphie flopped onto the sofa. “I shouldn’t sit down. I’ve eaten so much, I may never get up again.”
“I’m glad everyone will assume my bump is due to Peanut and not overeating.” Issy touched her stomach, which triggered the now-familiar fluttering sensation. She smiled. “Peanut’s saying, ‘Thanks for that, Mom.’ Either that or it’s indigestion.”
“Is Peanut kicking again?” Sapphie started to reach out, then stopped. “Can I feel?”
“I don’t know if it’s strong enough.” Issy laid her friend’s hand on her stomach. “There you go. ‘Hello, Aunt Sapphie.’”
Her friend shook her head. “Hello back, little one. You’re missing a great party. Can you believe this time next year, you’ll be here with a baby?”
There were no guarantees. “We may not be invited next year.”
Sapphie looked at her sharply. “Has J.B. come to a decision?”
“Nothing’s been decided. I don’t know which way he’ll go.”
Sapphie linked fingers with her and squeezed. “I thought you said everything was going well.”
“It’s been wonderful.”
For someone who’d been set against a relationship, J.B. had quickly settled into a routine that enabled him to spend time with her, working around his hockey commitments. He’d been attentive and caring, helping her to prepare her apartment and her life for their baby’s arrival.
It had gone so smoothly that Issy had started to wonder if she was being silly to worry about the future. How could J.B. walk away from what they had? Especially when he seemed as excited about Peanut’s arrival as she was.