by Angela White
Conner couldn’t argue that point, but he was still torn. His heart only accepted violence if there was no other way.
“If you have an idea that might satisfy me, I’ll listen to you.”
Conner knew he was one of the few people here that Jennifer actually respected, liked, and he made his choice based on that. “I’m gonna talk to someone that I trust and ask what they think about having Lilly and Grace banished for hurting you.”
Jennifer didn’t care about later, only this moment that she’d been waiting so patiently for. “Remember what I said, Conner. I don’t want you as an enemy and you don’t want me on that side of your life.”
Conner quickly went to find Adrian.
Aware that she would only have a few minutes, Jennifer took off running, no longer worrying about being seen or followed. I will have this!
6
Lilly and Grace had settled into camp life. They were taking classes, pulling their weight, and even had their hopes set on a few of the Eagles despite not being mate material because they couldn’t have children. These two females knew that not all of the males here wanted that type of future, including some of the main guys, and they hoped to take advantage of it.
The goals of furthering the greater good weren’t a part of their mindset yet, but enough time in Safe Haven was likely to change anyone who was riding the fence on good and evil. The camp members brought people in and helped them get used to the new ways. At some point, the need to gain power faded. Except with these two.
It hadn’t escaped the camp’s attention that they’d hurt Jennifer. It made the two former slaves outcasts in certain groups, though the women had failed to notice it. The camp wasn’t punishment-oriented, but they were waiting for Jennifer’s reaction. It had been a month since her baby had been forced out early and then killed in the explosion. After so long, a lot of the camp assumed Jennifer was keeping the peace and respected her for it, liked Lilly and Grace even less. When these people saw Jennifer running by the mess with a determined glaze of hatred over her face, many of them sensed what was coming and followed.
Jennifer was standing nearby when Lilly and Grace came from the training tent, both former slaves covered in sweat and confidence. She would destroy that.
“Hey, baby-killer!”
Lilly and Grace spun around automatically, appearing to answer the new name that would become a camp favorite from this moment on.
Lilly understood first and immediately stepped forward. “You wanna fight, bitch? Let’s go!”
“I want you dead,” Jennifer sneered coldly. “Your blood all over me will be a good start.”
Lilly hesitated.
Jennifer swung as hard as she could.
The small pot cracked against Lilly’s shoulder, sending her to the ground amid a cloud of ash. Jennifer didn’t know if the small pile she’d taken from the destroyed camper was indeed her son, but it hadn’t mattered when she’d collected it, nor any of the times she had secretly cried over it. She had to have something.
The charred bits sprayed over both of the former slaves, clinging to their sweaty skin like tight clothing. They went from eager and arrogant, to looking like they’d just come from a heart-breaking funeral, with one blow.
Jennifer’s voice was like the dead. “You caused it. Now you carry it.”
Jennifer left them and the crowd with tears of agony streamed down her face.
Those who witnessed the tears instantly forgave her. Those who didn’t see her crying were shocked by the method of delivery, but couldn’t deny that it had also been appropriate.
The dazed women were taken to the doctor and released a bit later, but no one called for Jennifer to be punished. They understood she already had been.
7
“She’s not done.”
Adrian had figured that out, and was prepared for what Conner showed him.
“That’s her first plan. If it won’t work, she will kill them and get banished.”
“You don’t know Kyle very well,” Adrian explained, not going to check on the ruckus like he still felt the urge to do. “He’d never let her be hurt.”
“And what about those two women? She’ll drive them out of here.”
“Probably for the best. She’s the better deal of the three.”
“That’s not right!”
Adrian waved a hand at the other chair. “Let me explain a couple things about justice and fixing the horrors in someone’s heart.”
Eager for the lesson, Conner took the seat and waited. He wasn’t spending a lot of time with his dad. There was a good reason for that, but he wanted these moments as much as he wanted his mother when the wind blew at night.
“When someone does you a wrong, it festers,” Adrian explained. “When someone betrays you, it’s an ugly knot of infection that grows, but when someone kills something that you love, darkness takes over the soul.”
Adrian felt Angela scan the tent to verify his safety and swallowed the need to respond. He stayed focused on his son. “Humans are meant to live in the light, to be filled with it. We find it very hard to fight the slaps and stabs that come from life.”
Adrian gave him a pointed look. “Like how you’re still feeling, over failing the kids.”
Conner’s guilt washed over him in waves as Adrian leaned forward. He hadn’t been sure he would get the chance to help his son, though he’d aided so many others here. “That never goes away. You learn to live with it.”
“How?” Conner questioned brokenly. “How?”
Adrian placed a hand on his son’s wrist in comfort. “You atone. The camp will tell you it wasn’t your fault, to let it go, but they don’t understand how we’re made. Leaders take these duties into ourselves and each failure destroys a bit of our light. The only thing that has ever worked for me, has been to spread the good and help those who either can’t, or won’t, help themselves.”
Adrian leaned back. “As your father, I agree with the herd. You did nothing wrong. You should be proud.” Adrian held up a hand to stop the coming protest. “I know. They don’t understand. As the leader of Safe Haven, I carried that weight in my heart every day. You need to ease the pain and push away the darkness. Helping others is the only thing that honestly heals our wounds.”
“I’ve tried, a little.”
“With Jennifer.”
“Yes, but it didn’t matter.”
“Not true. You bought her more time, and that is worth more than anything else you could have done for her. Without those extra days, she might have lost both babies.”
Conner felt the light trying to push in and was able to let it this time. He hadn’t thought of it that way. He’d only felt the errors.
“There are a lot of people here who need the kind of help you can give. Most of them are kids. The war left more orphans than this country has ever had.”
Conner considered it. He definitely liked kids better than adults, but he wasn’t sure about coming to care for them again, only to lose them when the soldiers arrived.
“When that happens, you’ll care for them, get them out,” Adrian instructed. “She’ll put that job straight into your hands if you want it. She already knows you’re capable and that you’re smart. She needs to know that you want it.”
“I do, but I don’t,” Conner confessed. “It’s why I’m hanging back. I can’t go through it again if they die.”
“You’ve been trying to recover, but on your own, that’s almost impossible.”
Conner dropped his head. “I don’t have anyone I’m close to here.”
“Because you’re afraid of losing them, afraid of the pain that comes with failing them, the guilt.”
“I can’t carry anymore yet. I’m tired.”
“You need someone you can relate to and feel a personal bond with. Just one to start, and go from there.”
Conner sighed. “I can’t do that the way I need to. I like my friendship with Charlie, but he has Tracy. Jennifer’s cool, but she has Kyle. Whe
n I spend time around them, I don’t feel connected.”
“What about more than friendship? Is there someone who…”
Adrian didn’t have to finish the question. He stared in surprised concern at the image in Conner’s mind.
“That’s not what I expected.”
“Yeah,” Conner grunted bitterly. “That makes two of us.”
Adrian spent a moment considering what he’d learned, then gave the nervous boy a bit of hope. “By the time this is all over, that might be possible.”
“And until then, help people?”
“Yes. Use the time to build a foundation here, and if she becomes ready, you will be, too.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Smurf Balls
1
Evenings in Safe Haven had changed.
Before they’d found out the government was coming, it had been a peaceful time for relaxing. Now, it was hundreds of souls coming together in defiance of the darkness. Classes continued into the night instead of stopping at mess. Training sessions went on until the early hours for those without a shift waiting. If they lost the battle, some of these survivors would continue to be just that.
Angela was encouraged by it. She was also relieved that their numbers had evened off. Everyone had been accounted for last night, for the first time since Marc left.
Angela paused by the area that Doug was in charge of, watching him direct the females of her team on how to care for themselves if they got cut off from their group during the battle.
“Once the water is boiling, pour it into the thermos, over the beans and dehydrated meat. Seal it up and put it in your backpack. The more you put around it and cover it, the longer your food will cook. It will be insulated.”
“That can’t work,” Crista stated, moving closer. “Prove that it works.”
Doug picked up the other thermos on the table and twisted the lid. The scent of fresh food wafted over the curious women.
“It keeps cooking, so you can use this method on a meal of any size. All you have to do is insulate an airtight container and make sure the water is at full boil. For shorter cooking, the water can be starting to boil, but the food won’t be as soft or as hot.”
Doug began pouring beans and meat from the thermos into small cups.
“Try it.”
The women did reluctantly. They knew how to cook. They’d been raised on it, most of them, and the idea that they could have boiled the water and left it alone was a strange mystery to be tried with a braced mindset.
Angela didn’t hang around to wait on the results. She’d already shared that moment with Kyle’s team. She hadn’t known it either. Few of America’s ‘modern’ generation had.
The next training area also dealt with food. The refugees of the war would eventually starve or freeze without this knowledge. It hadn’t been given by the government before. In fact, it had been ridiculed. Those people weren’t around to say they were sorry, and it was still hurting all of them. Society needed those absent skills, the missing parts of the great American herd.
“If you find a big stash of food, you can’t carry it all. Even if you could, it would quickly go bad. The machines on the tables are dehydrators and vacuum sealers. This is the best way, next to freeze drying, something we can’t do easily anymore. We’re going to play with these, gentleman. I don’t want to hear that it’s women’s work. You will bag your own food for the battle and keep it on hand.”
Neil was giving his team the class, but his firm words were mostly for the two dozen camp members also in attendance. “However, if there is no machine or power source around, you can still prepare your food. Use fire.”
Neil pointed at the small oven he’d made from cardboard and tape. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but it works. There are many ways to do it, but this was the style I used with my dad on camping trips. He taught me, and now, I’m passing it on to you.”
Neil uncovered a cardboard box that resembled a small oven, even down to the SH logo in the corner. “Place the foil over all the surface areas. Use the top to draw the light from the sun with the foil, and leave the flap open a crack. We used to be able to do this on baking sheets in our ovens, but now, we use the sun. It never needs fuel tabs, but it can still burn you, so be careful when you cook using it tomorrow. Let’s start building.”
Angela wanted to do her own and try it, but there were more important things for her. She left after delivering an approving nod to the teacher.
“Let’s dump the garbage for the ants…”
Angela turned to find Charlie and Conner carrying the bags toward the gate. She sent a quick motion for Zack to go with them. The boys liked to do the work because it gave them a chance to test her theories, but they were also a bit more reckless than she cared for. Also, Charlie’s tone was off a bit. She would catch him later and ask if he needed to talk. The time he was spending with Tracy had to be sending his hormones into a tailspin.
Angela studied the anthills that were still staying on the west side of camp, then the fires of the groups around them. Two more had come, bringing their totals up to nine other small societies revolving around the light of this one. She’d made it clear that the ants were to be left alone, and Kenn was having the patrols make sure, but she thought maybe the ants were in danger anyway.
“We could shield them.”
Angela shrugged at Jennifer’s comment, thinking the young mother appeared a lot more at peace now. “Not unless we have to. There are bigger things to cover.”
Jennifer sighed, understanding. She, too, liked the idea of having an animal army, even if it was only giant insects.
Angela placed a hand on the teenager’s arm and the shield above them rippled with purple and orange.
Angela let go. “I’m sorry.”
Jennifer knew why she was getting the apology, but didn’t accept it.
“I don’t blame you. I have a beautiful daughter because of what you did for us. Let that guilt go.”
Angela didn’t answer. Those who weren’t leaders didn’t understand that you never let it go. It got buried so that the zombie of it could reappear in your dreams.
“If they saw the ants helping, the outsiders might leave them alone.”
Angela frowned at the wording, but didn’t correct Jennifer. Each of the groups around theirs had different rules and laws, different customs. It was America, there was supposed to be differences, but she didn’t like it. She also didn’t have the manpower to try integrating any of them at this point and had left them under their own care. Marc had known what he was doing by sending the camps here. She believed that.
“I’m still not sure how they’ll help,” Angela confessed tiredly. “I just know they will.”
Jennifer stared at the insects thoughtfully. When she spoke, she sounded like a determined XO.
“I’ll come up with something.”
The teenager drifted toward Charlie and Conner while writing it in her book.
Jennifer was carrying a lot of hate and darkness, but the brain inside those prisons was a gift that Angela intended to use. Kyle may not realize how smart his chosen mate was, but she and Adrian were clear on it. Jennifer had done what they had, what their kind was forbidden to do. It had made her powerful in a number of ways.
Angela pushed away the longing. Their gifts would be unstoppable when the soldiers arrived. She would get her fill and then some.
2
The sight of Kenn storming through the camp wasn’t anything new. Neither were the blue hands or the blue clothes that refused to be washed of the stains. It also wasn’t unusual to see him with a blue face. The number of balloons that popped when he worked in the supply trucks was astronomical.
Kenn stomped into the mess where only a few of the happily eating campers even looked up. When the others did, they swept the signs of his ordeals and then glanced away before laughter could escape.
As he stood before them now, there was a feeling of something coming. People walking by
began stopping to observe.
Kenn glanced around, big fists clenched. As he glared, the conversations stopped and more people took notice.
Angela and Samantha, doing rounds before eating, also paused nearby.
“I’m sorry.”
All of them were shocked.
Kenn’s next words added to that feeling.
“I am. I haven’t been that way in a while now and I’m making amends and helping, and damn it, can you please turn my piss back to normal? I almost shit myself.”
Laughter, thick and needed, rolled over the camp.
Angela’s was the only one missing. Samantha was still chuckling as she caught up.
Kenn glared at the happy crowd. “Can I be forgiven now?”
“I think I’m done,” Allan casually stated, chuckling. “What about you, Jeremy?”
Jeremy grinned wider. “Yeah, I guess we’ve gotten our money’s worth.”
Kenn hadn’t expected it to be Eagles. He scowled angrily, but didn’t shout at them like he wanted to.
“What do I need to do to get rid of the color?”
Zack cackled from behind him. “It’ll wear off in a few days if no one doses you again. It was Methylene Blue.”
“Three of you?” Kenn asked, confused.
More laughter spilled out and Zack shook his head. “No, not exactly. Seth and I turned you blue on the outside. Daryl helped there, too. Kyle did the honor of your insides.”
“I did the water bucket,” Peggy spoke up. “Almost used cow piss, but the animals aren’t very friendly these days.”
Snickers came and then more voices confessing:
“I put the oatmeal in your shoes,” Joseph stated.
“I switched your rolls of toilet paper for cotton balls glued together,” Jeff snickered.
Kenn gaped. They’d all been against him.
“I did the vomit trip,” Tracy laughed from a rear table. “With some help.”
“Why would you all do that?” Kenn was baffled as they cackled at him.