“He doesn’t always, though,” Danielle said. “He’s lovely with Sam.”
“He is,” Jacinda agreed. “You know, it’s amazing that he let Sam play Ethan’s guitar. No one’s played that since he died.”
“Really? Oh, God. That’s just…” She shook her head wordlessly.
“I know.” Jacinda blinked, feeling the dampness in her own eyes. “All of it. Can you see why he blames me?”
“But it’s not your fault,” Danielle said. “And that’s pretty mean of him. Especially as you lost the baby. I’m really sorry about that.”
“Me too,” Riley said. “I can’t even imagine.”
“Thanks.” She bit her lip. “But the thing is, even if Ethan didn’t do it intentionally, because of me…it sort of is because of me.”
“No, it’s not,” Riley exclaimed. “And if that’s what Liam’s saying, then I’m going to go over there and set him straight. Don’t you let him convince you that you’re to blame.” At Jacinda’s dubious look, she persevered. “Promise me.”
Jacinda had to smile at the thought of small, sweet-faced Riley charging next door and tearing into gruff, six-foot-something Liam. But then she sighed.
“What makes it even more of a mess, though…he said he didn’t go looking for Ethan earlier, because he was glad I’d left him. Because…” She hesitated, not a hundred per cent sure if she wanted to share this detail. “Because he liked me himself. And he thinks that if he’d gone looking in time…things would have turned out differently. So he blames himself, too.”
“Ohhh.” Riley pursed her lips. “That is complicated.”
Danielle nodded in agreement and sympathy. “It is.”
Then Jacinda remembered something. “Don’t tell anyone about the way Ethan died, okay? I don’t know why the Wards went to so much trouble to keep it quiet, but I don’t want to be the one who reveals their secret.”
“Liam was actually the one who did that,” Riley pointed out. “By telling you.”
“I don’t know if he’d agree. Especially when I already screwed up so badly.”
“I think you did exactly what you could at the time,” Danielle said. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that.” She came over and gave Jacinda a hug. “And anyway, he wouldn’t be sleeping with you if he really does blame you for what happened.” Her tone implied that was self-evident.
Jacinda made an unconvinced sound. She wouldn’t even try to explain the heated, needy way they’d flung themselves at each other that first night, desperate for comfort, and the ups and downs since. The way he’d desired and despised her at the same time. The way he filled the hole in her heart one minute, and tore it deeper the next.
“I guess,” she said.
Danielle nodded, satisfied. “Okay, then. Now I’m going to get a bottle of wine.”
“Good call,” Riley said. While Danielle went to the kitchen, she added, “And I agree with Danielle. We talked about this before, up on Mount Clarion—it wasn’t your fault. I think you and Ethan were both kids, trying to deal with something huge. And Liam too. I’m sorry things happened the way they did.”
“Thanks.” She forced herself to smile. Maybe they were right. At least they’d been able to see both sides of the whole sad story.
Danielle came back with three glasses tucked between the fingers of one hand, and a bottle in the other. Once the glasses were filled and handed out, Riley leaned forward.
“Changing the subject now…I actually came to tell you how amazing you were last night, playing with Sam. I had no idea you could sing like that! I told Liam that the record company you work for should totally sign you.”
Danielle glanced at Jacinda, obviously waiting to see if she would confess her Cin Scott secret.
Well, it seemed to be a night for truth-telling. “Actually, I have a confession about that too,” she said.
But before she could say anything more, Riley slapped her hands on her knees, sending startled kittens skittering away. “I knew it! Everyone was wondering, after that performance. You sounded way too much like the real thing.” She laughed with glee. “Because you are the real thing! I’m so coming to visit you now, and you can show me your celebrity lifestyle. How did you even think you could keep a secret like that, Cin Scott?”
Danielle was smiling, and Riley’s unbridled enthusiasm made Jacinda laugh. She shrugged. “I didn’t know if I could. I just wanted a break from that version of myself. I’m not some kind of mega-celebrity—not at all—but there’s a constant pressure. Especially that whole thing about selling yourself based on how sexy you are, not on the music.”
They both nodded, understanding. “That sucks,” Riley said.
“Yeah.” Jacinda sighed. “I don’t know if it’s worse now I’m getting older, because they think I’m turning into some old hag, so they’re putting more pressure on. Or maybe I’m just getting less tolerant. The thing that finally made me walk away was an A&R guy hitting on me. He’d tried it before, a ton of times, but this time it was the complete come-on, including the hard-on.” She shuddered.
“Oh, yuck,” Danielle said. “Did you lay a complaint?”
“No…but maybe I will. God knows how many other girls he’s treated like that. Or gone even further.” Now she felt even worse about it—by not saying anything, was she giving him a free pass to do it to others?
“You’ll know what to do when you get back,” Riley said. “Don’t take any shit from some power-crazed old sleaze.”
Jacinda smiled. “I won’t.”
“By the way, no one could accuse you of being an old hag,” Riley added. “I mean, no one.”
“Well…thanks,” she said, smiling. Then something occurred to her. “If everyone was wondering, why did no one mention it?”
Riley laughed. “You’re in New Zealand now. We don’t fling ourselves at famous people. We’re completely backward in coming forward. Especially in the bay.”
“Well, I love you for it.”
“And we love you, Jacinda Prescott, secret celebrity.”
It was a nice sentiment, but there was just one problem. “Even though I killed Sweet Breeze Bay’s favorite son?”
“Okay, stop. You didn’t.” Riley sat forward, shaking her head emphatically. “Don’t even think that anymore. You can’t carry it with you for the rest of your life. And if Liam wants you to, then he doesn’t deserve you.”
She thought back to the words he’d said as he held her close. I want to know if we can make it okay for us, too.
“Well, you know…I think maybe he’s starting to see things differently,” she said. And the thought was suddenly so freeing, so full of hope, that anything seemed possible. Even a love story.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Today, the beach was full. Sun umbrellas sprouted like exotic flowers along the curve of the bay, and brightly colored beach towels were laid out in clusters on the hot, golden sand, topped with sunbathers. But even though the beach was the busiest she’d ever seen it, with locals and visitors all there for the annual ‘Big Dig’ fundraiser, there was still more than enough space for everyone. Still room to breathe.
The kids had been working on sand castles and sculptures down on the firmer sand, hoping to win one of the prizes on offer. Now the judges had been through, and Jacinda stood next to Sam’s creation, trying to figure it out.
“Guess,” he said again.
“Uh…is it a…dragon?”
He frowned at her. “No. Dragons have wings.”
“Oh right, of course. Sorry. I wasn’t even thinking.”
He seemed to be placated. “Okay, guess again then.”
“Let’s see. Well, it has some very cool sort of spiky parts…” She walked around to the other side. She was maintaining a thoughtful façade, but inside her mind was racing. She remembered someone telling her that you should never try to guess what a child’s artwork represents, because a wrong guess is a blow to their creative self-esteem. Better to ask an open-ended question, and
let them define their own art. But now Sam was totally putting her on the spot. She tapped a finger on her lips. “Is it a…chameleon?”
“What?” He groaned. “No. A chameleon has a long, curly tail. And googly eyes.”
“Oh yeah…I forgot about that.”
Apparently, she was a disaster at this. Then, suddenly, she realized that Liam had come to stand beside her. All at once she was self-conscious in her bikini, her hair still dripping down her back from the swim she’d just had.
“I didn’t know you’d be here today,” she said, looking up at him. And there it was, a heat in her cheeks that she couldn’t put down to the afternoon sun.
“Yeah, I noticed you didn’t invite me.” His tone was deadpan, but she saw a whisper of a smile come and go on his face. “Everything okay here?”
She didn’t miss the way he emphasized the okay. She’d left him on a maybe the night before, but one look at him and she was veering straight toward yes. And judging by the way he rested his hand ever so lightly on the small of her back as he asked the question, he was doing better than a maybe too.
“So far, so good,” she replied.
Behind him, she could see Riley and Danielle back on the beach blankets, both sending her a not-so-subtle thumbs up. She turned away, praying he wouldn’t see.
“Not very good,” Sam piped up.
“Actually, I do need help,” she said, grateful for the diversion. “Seems like my biology skills are substandard.”
“They are,” Sam said, shaking his head.
Liam took his hand back and rubbed his chin, considering the slightly blobby creature in front of him. “So we’ve ruled out dragon and chameleon, is that right?”
Sam nodded.
“Hmm…the arms and legs are pretty small compared to the body…does it swim?”
Another nod from Sam, this time with growing excitement.
“And the spiky bits by its head…okay, I think I know.” He paused for a moment, letting the tension build. “Is it an axolotl?”
Sam flung his hands in the air. “Yes! Axolotl! The judge didn’t know either, but I thought you would. I should have been in the finals, at least.”
“You were robbed,” Liam said, and Sam nodded in agreement.
Jacinda smiled to herself. The hero-worship was still going strong.
Then an announcement blared out from a loudspeaker, making them turn and listen. “The big dig is starting now. All children please report to the big dig zone.”
Sam grabbed up his spade. “I’m definitely going to win something in this one.”
“Don’t forget to take Izzy with you,” Danielle called to him.
Jacinda watched as Nadia pulled Izzy’s hat down firmly and gave her a spade, and the little girl raced over to Sam. Then the two of them headed to the marked-off area where, for a couple of dollars, they could dig for a token with a number on it, and swap it for a prize. Sam had already checked out the prize table, and was determined to win the big one—a handheld gaming device.
As Jacinda and Liam went back to where everyone was sitting on beach blankets and towels, Nadia was saying, “She wants to win a doll. She’s still sad about losing her favorite one on the beach.”
“Oh, no,” Danielle replied. “We’ll keep an eye out for it.”
Nadia laughed, jigging baby Oliver on her lap. “Don’t look too hard. I wasn’t a fan. Not convinced about the extreme eyeliner and the super short skirt.”
Jacinda knew exactly which doll they were talking about. She wasn’t much of a fan either, not after her late-night freak-out on the sand. Liam glanced at her as he sat down, amusement in his eyes. Did he remember the way she’d kissed him that night? She’d intended to torment him right back, like when he’d kissed her hard up against the house, and she’d had no idea if he was testing her, or punishing her, or proving some kind of point. But all she’d done with her own kiss was stoke the off-limits fire he’d started so easily.
As though reading her mind, he pulled off his t-shirt.
Oh, no. Oh, yes. She sat down on one of the blankets, at a safe distance. Any closer, and she’d be flinging herself at him, and then the whole town would know she’d gone from one brother to another. She frowned. It sounded so terrible put like that. She concentrated on listening to Danielle and Nadia chatting instead.
All the gang was there, boys on one side, girls on the other, like a pre-teen disco. Dane and Connor were sitting with Liam, and Tina, Kerry, and Riley were on beach towels close by. Stephanie had taken her mom shopping in the city for the day, and Jess was working at the Kelp and King, apparently. Jacinda hadn’t seen her since the night at Clarion Call, and that uncomfortable moment afterward, under the street light.
Danielle and Nadia were the most organized—as mothers always seemed to be—with blankets, umbrellas, and cooler bags full of snacks and drinks. Connor was eating a kid-sized packet of rice crackers, laughing at something Kerry was saying. When Penny arrived and saw him plucking mini crackers from the tiny packet, she snorted.
“Where’s your juice box, little brother?”
Nadia reached into her cooler bag and tossed one in their direction, and Connor caught it with one hand, grinning. Then he tipped his head at Penny. “I’m not sharing, Stinkface.”
She stuck out her tongue. “I don’t want your boy germs anyway.”
He slurped the juice in one go, then crushed the box in a he-man parody, purposefully flexing his bicep. “You’d be lucky to have any of our mighty man germs.”
“Pfft.” She rolled her eyes, chuckling. “I’m going for a swim. Anyone else coming?”
The guys went with her, Liam included, but the women stayed on the sand, chatting and soaking up the sun. Nadia passed Oliver to Jacinda, so that she could go and check on Izzy. And as she watched Liam walk away toward the ocean, his broad back muscular and tan, Jacinda was glad she had an excuse to stay behind—she didn’t trust herself to be in the water with him again. She turned her attention to entertaining Oliver.
As the swimmers returned, Nadia came back with Sam and Izzy, who were both triumphant. Izzy was proudly carrying a new doll, and although Sam hadn’t scored the big prize, he’d come away with a book about coding for kids. He went straight over and showed it to Liam, and they fell into conversation about Scratch and Java and Objective-C. Jacinda listened in, noticing the way Liam talked to Sam as though he was an equal, encouraging him without being patronizing.
Then Dane looked at his watch, the kind of high-tech, waterproof timepiece that divers wore. “Who’s coming to the Kelp and King?”
Connor shook water from his hair. “Me.”
Tina, Riley and Kerry got up too, but Liam stayed put, the sun glistening on his damp skin.
“Liam, you coming, mate?” Connor asked him.
He shook his head. “No thanks. Got some weekend work to do.”
“Oh, are you working on a project?” Riley asked loudly.
Even though no one else got the jibe, Jacinda felt herself blush.
For a moment, he looked puzzled at Riley’s very pointed enquiry. Then he nodded. “Yeah. A volunteer project for a non-profit, supporting the kids of immigrants in the States.”
“Oh,” she said again, but this time she sounded impressed instead of sarcastic. “Well, that’s cool. Jacinda? You coming?”
Jacinda bit her lip. Did he really plan to work? She glanced at him, but he was giving nothing away as he pulled his t-shirt back on. “Uh…I’d better not come either,” she said to Riley. “I have to work on that thing I was telling you about.”
“Oh right,” Riley replied with a grin. “The thing.” And her eyes went to Liam.
Thank God everyone was busy picking up their belongings and getting ready to go. “No, you know—the chapters. The book.”
“Riiight. The book.”
Jacinda waved her away. It was pointless to argue…especially when, in truth, she was secretly hoping to do absolutely no work at all. She’d said she needed space to thi
nk, but seeing him again today, the last thing she wanted was space. Or thinking. All she could think about was the doing.
With little ones in tow, Danielle and Nadia couldn’t go to the pub, so they gave in to the kids’ pleas to go to the playground. The others decided to head to the double K via the beach and the surf club.
After a round of goodbyes—and with so many knowing glances headed their way, she guessed they must be totally failing at keeping their secret—Jacinda looked at Liam. Now it was just the two of them.
“Back to work then,” she said with faux gusto as they turned and went in the opposite direction from everyone else, back toward their houses.
He took her beach bag and slung it over his shoulder. “Apparently.” As they crossed the sand, he stepped deliberately closer, bumping his arm against hers. “You know, I do have some tasks that require a co-worker.”
“Oh, really? What kind of tasks would these be?”
He shrugged, but his grin said it all. “This and that.”
She tapped her chin, pretending to consider it. “What’s the remuneration like?”
“It’s kind of a profit share system. I know you’re still thinking about things…but I’d make sure you ended up with more rewards overall.”
He’d already proved his commitment to making sure she came out ahead on ‘rewards’. She flashed back to that moment on the kitchen table, when she’d known nothing but his tongue and her burning, spiraling need, and then the overwhelming, shuddering peak and release under his mouth. The memory sent a dart of desire through her.
Yes. She wanted more of those rewards.
She stepped over a castle-shaped bucket abandoned on the sand. “Let’s negotiate.”
He kept his business voice on, but the corners of his lips curved upward, just for a moment. “Sounds like a deal in the making.”
“Could be.” She was more than ready to cut a deal with this guy—but his reaction yesterday was still fresh in her mind. “I’m not interested in making either of us feel bad again, though.”
He adjusted his sunglasses, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “I did actually listen to what you said, before you left me there all alone.”
One Distant Summer Page 21