“I’m not saying that. I’m just saying a lot has happened today. Let’s not make a knee-jerk decision.”
“And do what?” Lana said, perking up in her seat at last. “Stay married? Keep continuing on sleeping together and playing the happy lovers for everyone? We’re just torturing ourselves the longer we let this go on.”
“I hardly feel tortured being married to you, Lana. It’s no hardship on me to continue.”
“That’s because you’re not in l—” She stopped her words short. Her jaw clenched and her nostrils flared with pent up emotions as she seemed to fight to hold them in.
“Not in what?” he pressed.
“In love, Kal. You’re not in love with me, so of course this is just some fun game you can play. Play at being married and having a family. It’s more fun when you know it will end and things will go back to the way they were before.”
In love. Was Lana in love with him? He was stunned nearly speechless by the idea of it. “Hold on. This isn’t just a game for me. Why would you think that?”
Lana frowned at him. “Kal, are you in love with me? If you are, say so right now.”
Being put on the spot, Kal’s lungs seized in his chest. In love? Did he even know what it felt like to be in love with a woman? He didn’t know. He knew that he cared for Lana as much as he cared for anyone. Judging by the expression on her face, that wasn’t enough for her.
“That says everything,” she said, standing up from her barstool.
“Now just wait a minute,” Kal argued. “You’re not giving me time to think.”
Lana just shook her head sadly. “You shouldn’t have to think about it, Kal. You either love me or you don’t. You either want to stay married or you don’t. Since the answer is extremely obvious to me, I say there’s no point in dragging this conversation on any longer. It’s over. We’ll meet with Dexter in the morning.”
Kal didn’t know what to say. Part of him was relieved to have this all done. He’d been nervous about taking marriage and family on to begin with. The other part of him was screaming inside not to be a fool and ruin the amazing thing they had together. “Lana—”
“Thank you, Kal,” Lana interrupted, holding up her hand to silence his argument.
“Thank you for what?”
“For putting your own life on hold for over a month to help me. I’m not sure many friends would’ve gone to the lengths you went to for me, and I appreciate it.”
There was a finality in Lana’s voice that he didn’t like. As though she were saying goodbye. “I’d do it all over again,” he said, and he meant it. He watched as Lana picked up her purse, slung it over her shoulder and walked into the living room. “Where are you going?”
She stopped just short of the front door and reached for the small roller bag he hadn’t noticed when he’d come in. Lana was leaving him. She’d spent today thinking while he worked his feelings into submission, and the answer she’d come up with was that they were done. She turned to look at Kal. “I’m going back to my place.”
“This is your place,” he said firmly.
Lana just shook her head. “Don’t worry about having your people pack up my stuff for me yet. I’ve put a couple things in this bag to last me, but I won’t need the rest right away. Today I found a nice studio on the hill in Lahaina that I think I’m going to put an offer on. It would be easier to just have them move my things straight there after I close on it.”
She looked down at her hand on the doorknob, then reached for her wedding ring. She pulled it off her finger and set it on the table in the entryway.
Kal had hardly given his wedding ring any notice since the day she’d placed it on his finger. Suddenly the cool metal started to burn his skin. It was like everything was being torn apart and he couldn’t stand it. He didn’t want to lose all this. He took a few giant steps forward until he was nearly in reach of her. “Ask me again,” he demanded.
Lana just looked up at him. “At the moment it hurts. But let’s not make that pain out to be more than it really is. You like the idea of what we had, but it won’t be the same. This isn’t what you wanted for your life, Kal. You did this for me. And if I were to let you stay in the marriage knowing that, I would just be taking advantage of our friendship. I’ve already done too much of that, so don’t ask me to do it again.”
Kal’s feelings were a jumble inside him. He didn’t know how he felt or if she was right. He just knew that he didn’t want to lose her. “And what about our friendship?” he asked. It felt like even that was crumbling around him. He feared that more than anything else.
“We’re fine,” she said, reaching out to give him one of her friendly punches in the shoulder. It felt familiar, like old times, but the faraway look in her eyes as she did it didn’t convince him. “I’ll just need a little time alone, Kal. I promise.”
He was relieved to hear that, and yet the anxiety still kept his chest so tight he could barely breathe.
“Good night, Kal,” she said, opening the door and slipping outside.
Kal stood there and watched her pull away in her Jeep, leaving the Mercedes in the garage. He couldn’t move, couldn’t run after her. She had practically said that she loved him, but she didn’t seem like she wanted him to chase her. Had her love for him only made her miserable? Perhaps Kal had been right about relationships all along. They always ended in heartache. Maybe she was right and this was for the best.
Their lives weren’t so terrible before. They had fun together. Kids were a big responsibility they didn’t need to take on. Marriage was something that other people wanted, not him. If he could adjust to being married with a baby so quickly, he should able to get his life back to normal twice as fast.
Even as he thought that to himself, Kal knew it was a lie.
Eleven
“Do you want me to hang this picture right here?” Lana asked, looking over her shoulder.
Mele came into the living room with Akela on her hip and nodded. “That looks great.”
Lana hammered the nail into the wall and hung the painting they’d found at a thrift shop. She took a step back and admired her work with pride. It was really coming along.
Mele’s new apartment was nice. It was small, but close to the hotel and therapy. The bedroom was big enough for a full-size bed and Akela’s crib. By the time the baby was big enough to need her own room, Mele would hopefully be in better financial shape.
“Thanks for all your help with this,” Mele said. She put Akela in her bouncing entertainment center so she could play with all the multicolored trinkets there to amuse her. “I feel like we’ve spent more time together this week than we have in years.”
“That’s probably true.” Lana hadn’t spent much time with her sister after she moved from home. She didn’t like being around her friends, and for good reason. Now, with all those influences out of Mele’s life, it was like she’d gotten her sister back. When the two of them weren’t working, Lana was at her apartment helping her move in. They’d done some thrift store shopping and salvaged a few good items from their old place.
“Do you want some coffee?” Mele asked. She’d used a small portion of her first paycheck to buy an inexpensive coffeemaker at Walmart. It was her new indulgence after setting aside all her other addictions.
“Sure.” She joined her sister at the tiny, worn dining room table they’d found at a yard sale for fifty bucks.
They sat quietly sipping their coffee and enjoying each other’s company. Lana tried not to think about waking up to a cup from Kal each morning. That just sent her thoughts spiraling down the dark rabbit hole of emotional angst.
Walking away had been the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. But she knew she had to. She loved Kal, but she also loved herself enough to know that she didn’t want to settle. If he told her he loved her under pressure like that, she had no reason to think it was how he really felt. Or that he wouldn’t recant later when he realized what he’d gotten himself into. She wanted a relat
ionship with a man who knew how he felt and wanted to be with her more than anything else in the world. No question. That just wasn’t Kal.
She hadn’t seen him since she walked out that night. Lana had opted to go to Dexter’s office early the next morning by herself to sign the paperwork and avoid another awkward confrontation. She’d circumvented his normal hunting grounds at the hotel. Somehow it made it easier. She couldn’t see him every day and pretend her heart wasn’t broken. Perhaps once the divorce was final they could return to being friends again. That was what she’d told him. She just hoped it was true.
“Lana?”
Lana turned to her sister, who had an expectant look on her face. “What?”
“I said your name three times. What planet are you on?”
“I’m sorry. I’m a little distracted today.”
Mele nodded. “Is this about Kal?”
Lana sat bolt upright in her chair. “What makes you say that?”
“Because...you haven’t mentioned his name all week. When my lawyer told me that my sister and her husband had petitioned for guardianship I kept my mouth shut, but honestly my jaw nearly hit the floor. What is going on with you two?”
Lana twisted her lips in thought as she looked down at her mug. “You don’t want to hear my sob story, Mele. We’re supposed to be focusing on new starts.”
Her sister crossed her arms over her chest and gave her a stern look. “Lanakila, you tell me right now or I’ll tug your ear.”
Lana looked up with wide eyes at her sister. On more than one occasion when she’d annoyed her older sister, she’d been dragged by the ear into the living room so Mele could tattle to Papa. It usually backfired with both of them being punished. She hadn’t tugged on her ear in fifteen years, but Lana could still feel the sharp pinch of her sister’s grip. She wasn’t looking forward to experiencing that again any time soon. “Okay, fine.”
“Start at the beginning. I don’t know much about you two and I want every detail.”
With a sigh, Lana did as she was told, starting with the day she met Kal and continuing up until the day she walked out. They went through a whole pot of coffee and a breakfast pastry Lana brought from the corner bakery. They even stopped to put Akela down for a nap. The story of Lana and Kal was longer than she had ever expected it to be. They had quite a history together.
“So there you go,” she said at last. “I’m in love with my best friend. He doesn’t love me. And we’re getting divorced in...” She glanced down at her phone. “...twenty-two days.”
“Wow,” was all Mele could say. She’d asked for the whole story and she’d gotten it. “That’s crazy. I got the feeling that you two might be playing some sort of shell game for the judge. I can’t believe you two were willing to go to such great lengths for my baby.” Her eyes got a little teary as she looked over at the infant who napped in her Pack ’n Play. “You have no idea how much I appreciate everything you two went through for her. I’m worried that you paid too high a price, though.”
Lana tried to shrug it off. “It was worth it.”
“Was it?”
“Absolutely. I just wish I had known going in that it was going to end like this. I could’ve protected my heart better. Kept my distance when there wasn’t anyone else around. He’s just got such a magnetic personality. I’m drawn to him.”
“How did you think all this would end?” Mele asked.
“Like this,” she had to admit when she really thought about it. She was already half sweet on him going into the situation. Did she really think twenty-four-hour contact, living together, a wedding ring and sex would make him easier to resist? “I can try to blame the heartbreak and the attachment on the sex, which wasn’t a part of my plan, but I know that wasn’t it. In the end, I would’ve fallen for him no matter what. I just thought I would handle it better. The sex gave me the illusion that he might fall for me, too, which of course is ridiculous.”
Mele flinched at her words. “Why on earth would you think it’s ridiculous for him to fall in love with you?”
“Oh, come on, Mele.”
“Don’t come on me. What about you is so repellant that he couldn’t fall in love with you? You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re talented. You take care of the people you love, and you love more deeply than anyone I’ve ever known. He should be thrilled that you’d consider falling in love with him, not the other way around.”
“You’re crazy. Maybe I’m pretty and I’m a good dancer. So what? Kal is from such an important family. I think he mentioned once that he’s descended from Hawaiian royalty on his mother’s side. He has more money in his bank account on any given day than I’ll earn in my whole life. He’s from a different kind of people. The kind of people who don’t fall in love with people like us.”
“You mean people like me,” Mele said matter-of-factly.
Lana realized after she said it how it might insult her sister. “That’s not what I meant, I’m sorry, but it certainly doesn’t help the situation to have an inebriated, violent father and a sister always on the wrong side of the law.”
Mele shook her head with a smile. “No, don’t apologize. You’re right. At least about our family. We’re no great name and we’ll be lucky to inherit the tiny plot of useless land where Papa’s house sits. We’ve got issues for sure. But everyone does. Some just have more money to deal with their issues. Our family is lucky, though. You know why? Because we have you. You’re our diamond in the rough.”
Lana was uncomfortable with her sister’s flattery. They’d chosen different paths, but she didn’t believe that she was better than her sister. “Oh, quit it. I can dance. That’s what got me out of our situation. If I’d had two left feet and buckteeth, who knows what would’ve happened to me?”
Mele furiously shook her head. “No, you never would’ve ended up like me. You’re too much like Mama for that.”
Lana looked at her sister with tears suddenly welling in her eyes. “Really?” She’d only turned two a few weeks before their mother died from the cervical cancer they’d discovered while she was in the hospital having Lana. Instead of being home with her new baby, she’d been in and out of treatment, but they’d caught it too late. Lana had no memories of her, just a few worn photos that showed a resemblance, but not much more. Mele had been five and remembered more about those days.
“Absolutely. Why do you think Papa fell apart when she died? Because Mama was everything to him. He would sit and hold you in his arms and cry because he knew she was slipping away and there was nothing he could do about it. He never let himself fall in love with anyone else because of it. He couldn’t stand to have his heart broken again when he knew there wasn’t anyone who could replace her.”
Lana’s words jogged something in her memory. It was something Kal had said once, a long time ago. The night had possibly involved beer, which was the usual catalyst for loosening Kal’s tongue about personal matters. He’d said falling in love was too big a risk. That he knew what it was like to lose someone he loved and he didn’t understand how she could long for a husband and a family when it could be ripped away at any moment.
“That sounds like Kal,” she said aloud.
“What does?”
“What you just said about Papa. Kal lost his parents about ten years ago. He doesn’t talk about it very much, but I can tell that it really bothers him, even now. It makes me wonder if that’s why...”
“Why he’s afraid to admit that he’s in love with you?”
Lana shook her head and frowned. “I was going to say that was why he was afraid to be in a serious relationship. Why would you think he’s in love with me?” That was quite a stretch, especially for someone who’d only seen him for a handful of minutes and didn’t even speak with him. Lana had spent almost every minute of the last month with him and she didn’t believe that was true.
Mele stood up and started another pot of coffee. “If everything you’ve told me about Kal is true, he has to be in love with you.�
�
“Why?”
“Because he’s not a fool. He’s smart. He’s a successful businessman who’s used to having everything work out the way he wants it to. But you can’t control love the way you control a business empire, and he knows that. He might be scared of admitting the truth to you and getting hurt, but he’s not a fool.”
* * *
Kal was sulking. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, but he was. At first, he thought he was just missing the baby. And he was. But that wasn’t what was haunting him. It was Lana’s disappointed face he saw when he closed his eyes to sleep at night. Lana’s laughter that he missed when he saw something that they would’ve had a good time talking about. Lana’s lips that he fantasized about kissing.
He missed her. It had been over a week since he’d even seen her. No calls, no texts, no passing in the lobby of the hotel. It was just like she’d vanished from his life entirely, even though she was probably only a couple hundred yards away at any given time.
Kal supposed that if he really wanted to see her, he could watch the luau. But he hadn’t been able to bring himself do it. Watching her dance would just torture him even more. Maybe tonight. Or maybe not.
“Mr. Bishop?”
Kal looked up from his desk to see his assistant, Jane, standing in the doorway of his office. “Yes?”
“There’s someone here to see you, sir.”
“Someone here to see me?”
“Well, not see you, per se,” a man’s voice said as the door flew open the rest of the way, revealing Mano and Hōkū standing behind her. “But we’re here to visit.”
Kal stood up in surprise. It was weird enough that Mano had shown up for Christmas. This random Monday in January visit was unheard of. He waited to respond until Mano had settled down in a guest chair and Jane had disappeared, closing the door behind her.
“What are you doing here?” he asked. “No bullshit this time.”
“Okay, fine. I’m here because your employees are worried about you and they contacted me.”
The Baby Proposal Page 13