“Penny,” Cade’s voice broke through my cloudy mind.
I shook my head, keeping my gaze tipped to the ground. I couldn’t face him right now. I knew the moment I looked into his eyes, I’d break down. I’d become a blubbering fool. and I couldn’t do that right now. I needed my strength.
But Cade wouldn’t let me go. Instead, he pulled me to his chest and crushed me in a hug.
Even though every fiber of my being wanted to run as far away as I could, being held by Cade relaxed me, and I collapsed into him.
I cried.
Hard.
The tears flowed. All the pent-up frustration and pain from the moment I’d realized that Mom and Dad weren’t in love anymore to my rollercoaster relationship with Cade, they all came out in the sobs I muffled with his shirt.
I don’t know how long we stood behind the McDonald’s while drive-through cars passed by us, but it lasted as long as I had tears. Once I was sure I had nothing left, I pulled back.
My stomach dropped when I saw the huge wet spot on his shirt, smeared with mascara. I was pretty sure I looked as terrible as I felt. Hoping to salvage myself, I wiped at my eyes and nose.
When I glanced up to meet Cade’s gaze, I saw him studying me. He had a look of concern on his face. When he met my gaze, he smiled in a “you’re upset, and I’m really not sure why, but I want to be supportive” kind of way.
I took a deep breath and released it. “I saw my dad,” I said. My voice came out in a whisper.
Cade leaned closer.
I cleared my throat and tried again. “I just saw my dad.”
He pulled back and studied me. “What? Here?” He peered around me as if he were trying to see into the restaurant. Which was silly because there was no way he’d be able to see from where we stood.
I nodded. “Yes. Here. Back there.” I waved toward the exit we’d just left.
He glanced over at me. “But… Why did that make you upset?”
I swallowed, forcing the next words to touch my lips and escape out into the air. “He was with another woman.”
I pinched my lips shut. I couldn’t believe this was actually my life.
Cade’s expression morphed into one of understanding. He scrubbed his face with his hands as he looked up at the sky. “Oh, man. Pen, I’m so sorry.” He blew out his breath and returned to studying me.
I shrugged and pulled at the leaves of the bush next to me. I didn’t want his pity. I didn’t want him to say that everything would be better. I wanted him to tell me that this sucked. That my parents sucked because they were doing this to me.
“How long has it been going on?”
I swallowed. If I were honest with myself, a long time. I could tell my parents were drifting apart, but a part of me had always hoped that maybe I was just crazy. That my parents were still in love and not destined for divorce like so many of my friends’ parents.
We had money. We had a good house and a good life. What else did my parents need? If anyone could make things work, it was us.
“A while,” I whispered as I plucked a leaf from the bush and crumpled it in my hand. After a few seconds, I let it fall to the ground.
“Did you know?”
I shrugged. “Kind of.”
He fell silent, and I glanced over, wondering what he was thinking. He had a contemplative expression.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he finally asked.
I shrugged as I grabbed another leaf. “I don’t know. I guess you were sharing your stuff, and I didn’t want it to seem like I was overshadowing that.”
He reached out his hand and engulfed my elbow. His touch was warm and supportive. I loved and hated it at the same time. He shouldn’t be nice to me; I’d lied to him. I’d even thought, on many occasions, that I was better than him.
That was not the case. At all.
I broke contact as I folded my arms. I guess I needed space, but I also wanted to protect myself. Keeping my distance from him seemed like the best idea.
“Do you want me to take you home?”
I nodded, squeezing my arms against my chest. “Yeah. I’m tired.” And there was no way that I wanted to stick around here. Not when Dad was basically making out with the new woman in his life.
Just thinking those thoughts made me sick.
As if he sensed that I didn’t want to be touched, Cade held his arm out and motioned for me to follow. We walked to his car in silence. He started the engine and pulled out from the parking lot onto the main road. I kept my gaze down as we drove past the McDonald’s windows.
I didn’t want to see Dad. If I saw him happy without Mom, Patricia, and me, I just might break. And I wasn’t sure how I would get put back together again.
Chapter Fifteen
As soon as Cade dropped me off at home, I slipped inside and went right up to my room. I wasn’t hiding because I was worried that my parents would find out I’d spent the night with a boy. I was worried that my suspicions would be verified, and my family would break into pieces right before my eyes.
I slipped out of my clothes and climbed into bed. I was going to stay here for the rest of my life. Here, I was safe. I closed my eyes and allowed the softness of my mattress and the exhaustion I felt overtake my body as I fell asleep.
I didn’t wake up until I heard a knock on my door. I lifted my head, wondering if I’d heard right. I stilled, straining to hear. The knock came again.
I groaned as I buried my head under my pillow. There was no way I wanted to talk to whoever was on the other side of the door. “Go away,” I muttered, not really caring if they heard me or not.
I heard the door handle turn, and Mom’s soft voice filled the silence. “Penny? Can we come in?” she asked. Her voice grew louder, which I took as her entering my room.
“No,” I whispered.
“Are you awake?”
I felt a hand on my shoulder. It took all my strength not to pull away and attempt to disappear under my covers like I did when I was little. Sure, I shouldn’t be treating Mom like this, but with the bomb I was pretty sure she was about to drop on me, I couldn’t help it.
My life was changing, and I wasn’t ready for it. At all.
“No,” I muttered.
I heard her sigh as the mattress tipped. She’d sat down on my bed. “Penny, your dad and I need to talk to you.”
I pinched my eyes shut, wishing I was somewhere else.
“Can you come out from under there?”
“No,” I said again, hating that my voice sounded so unsure. Why couldn’t I be stronger? Since when had I become this weak?
“Please?”
Guilt rose up in my chest, so I pulled the pillow off my face and sat up. “What?” I asked, cringing at the bite in my tone.
Mom’s eyes widened as she pulled back slightly. Why did she look so surprised? Did she actually think that I didn’t know what was going on? “Penny, are you okay?”
I swallowed. The emotional lump in my throat constricted.
Hold it together, Penny. Don’t let them see just how much this is breaking you.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Where were you last night?”
I stared at her. What was I supposed to tell them? That I’d spent the night with Cade? Nope. I couldn’t tell her that. He was the only thing that was keeping me sane, and if she found out I’d been with a boy, I’d be grounded for eternity. So I just shrugged and picked some lint off my comforter. “I was with Crista.”
Mom folded her hands and nodded. And that was it. She believed me. Probably because lying wasn’t something I normally did. It was amazing how much I’d changed.
“Next time, call will you? I was worried. And your dad”—she glanced over at him. He was leaning with one shoulder on the door frame—“he was pretty worried too.”
I tried not to glare as I glanced briefly over at him. Did she know that Dad had a girlfriend? Was this the reason they were no longer together? Because Dad had gone off a
nd started a new life with her.
Ugh. My stomach twisted. I didn’t want to have to be the person to inform her of Dad’s indiscretions.
“Okay,” I said. I wished she would just hurry up and tell me that they were getting a divorce. That we were now a broken family and I was going to have to pick which house to live at. I looked at her expectantly.
Mom furrowed her brow but didn’t dwell on it. She rubbed her thighs with her hands as she glanced over at Dad. “Your father and I wanted to discuss something with you.”
I swallowed. Here we go.
“We are…well…” She gave me a forced smile. “We’re separating…for good.”
And there it was. The four little words that meant we were no longer a family. Tears brimmed my eyes as fury rose up inside of me. All this time I’d believed that we were happy. I was such a fool.
I turned my attention to Dad. He had a sorrowful expression as he shot me a sad smile. I glared at him. This was all his fault.
“It’s because of you,” I said, not suppressing my anger anymore. I wanted him to know that I knew. Even if Mom didn’t.
Mom’s hand rested on mine. “Oh, no. It’s not your dad’s fault. It’s both of us. We’ve grown apart. We aren’t…happy.”
That last statement hurt more than anything. My parents were no longer happy with us being a family. Suddenly, I needed to get out of there. I threw my covers off and grabbed a change of clothes. Mom called after me, but I ignored her. I was done with them. I’d spent so much of my life working to make them happy. To make them proud. And yet, there was nothing I could do to keep them together. They were getting a divorce, and that was final.
I was going to live with Mom while Dad went off and married his mistress, and he’d start a new family and completely forget about us. I’d seen it so many times. They literally made movies about it.
Once I was in my bathroom, I shut the door. I needed a shower, and then I was leaving. I was going to drive to Cade’s house and never come back. What did it matter anyway? This wasn’t where I belonged.
Mom and Dad must have gotten the memo that I didn’t want to talk anymore because, by the time I got out of my twenty-minute shower, they were gone. I dressed, put on some makeup, and pulled my hair up into a messy bun.
I glanced at the mirror when I was done. It was rushed, but at least I didn’t look like I’d spent the night sleeping on the metal grate that surrounded the water tower.
Butterflies flitted around in my stomach at the thought of meeting up with Cade again. I grabbed my keys from my purse as I slipped down the stairs. Once I was in the van, I started the engine up and drove the twenty minutes to Cade’s house.
I didn’t see his motorcycle in the driveway, but I got out anyway. I crossed the front lawn, and, when I got to the front door, I knocked. A few seconds ticked by before the door was opened by the same little blond boy from earlier. His eyes widened as he looked me over.
“Cade’s not here,” he said, shoving the sucker he was holding back into his mouth.
I glanced behind him. “Is he at work?” Why was I so dumb? Of course he was there.
He nodded.
I smiled down at him. “What was your name again?”
He pulled the sucker from his mouth. “Bryson.”
I stuck out my hand. I might as well introduce myself to his family. I was pretty sure that I wasn’t going anywhere. “I’m Penelope, but you can call me Penny.”
Bryson studied my hand and then raised his gaze to meet mine. “Cade said to call you Chocolate Milk.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course. At least, it’d become more of a term of endearment than an insult. I smiled at Bryson. “You can call me that too.”
He shrugged, shoved the sucker back into his mouth, and slapped my hand in an awkward high-five.
“Shorty, who’s at the door?” A quiet, female voice asked. I recognized it as Cade’s mom.
“Hey,” I said, nodding toward her as she rounded the corner.
She stopped and her eyes widened. “Penny,” she said as she glanced around and then focused back on me. “What are you doing here?”
Why did I always feel so uncomfortable around her? Like she was judging me or something. Did she know we’d fallen asleep together? “I was looking for Cade.”
She walked up to Bryson—who was also called Shorty apparently—and shooed him from the door. Bryson didn’t protest and disappeared down the hall she’d just come from.
“Well, he’s not here,” she said, folding her arms and staring at me.
“Yeah, Bryson said that.” I parted my lips, wondering if I should say more. But then I decided against it and just glanced around.
When she didn’t respond, I nodded toward my car. “I should go,” I said.
His mom glanced toward where I’d motioned and then back to me. “That would be best.”
I hesitated. What did that mean? “Thanks,” I said, partly out of habit—and partly because I wanted his mom to like me.
I gave her a weak smile before I turned and hurried down the steps. Just as I was halfway across the lawn, her voice caused me to stop. Turning, I saw her step out onto the stoop.
“Penny?” she called again.
“Yeah?”
“Are you free for dinner tonight?”
I hesitated and then nodded. “Yes.” There was no way I was going home for dinner. Plus, I needed to win her over. So, I smiled even though she didn’t look at all thrilled that she’d just invited me.
“Seven o’clock,” she called out before turning and heading back into the house.
I stared at the now empty stoop, wondering what that had been about. Why was she so displeased with me? What had I done?
Before I went crazy trying to figure her out, I climbed into the car and started the engine. I was tired of ridiculous adults who did ridiculous things. Right now, I was excited to see Cade. That was all that mattered.
Whenever I was with him, things felt better. I was better.
It wasn’t long before I was pulling into the diner’s parking lot. It was the early dinner rush. All the tables were filled with stressed-out parents trying to control hyped-up kids. I parked in the only open spot and got out.
I scanned all the faces, hoping to find Cade. He was standing next to a table, getting french fries thrown at him while he tried to take an order. I giggled as I walked up, thankful he didn’t notice me.
I took an empty seat at a far table. The family next to me glanced over but, thankfully, returned back to whatever they were doing. I grabbed out my phone and swiped it on. I’d just wait here until things calmed down. After all, I had nowhere else to go.
Fifteen minutes later, the family left, leaving me alone at the table. I’d found a book on my phone and gotten lost in it. I didn’t notice Cade standing next to me until he cleared his throat.
“Hey, when did you get here?” he asked.
I glanced up at him and smiled. “Not that long ago.”
He rested both hands on the table as he dropped his head down.
“Tired?” I asked.
He glanced up at me and nodded. “It’s been insane here.” Then he leaned closer to me. “And I spent the night with this amazing girl. We didn’t get much sleep.”
Ha. If I wasn’t so emotionally exhausted, I might have told him how dirty that sounded. Instead, I reached out and covered his hand with mine. “I’m sorry it’s been busy.” I wasn’t sure I had the energy to say anything more.
He shrugged and then moved to sit across from me.
“Is it your break?” I asked.
“It is now. They can all wait a minute while I talk to you.”
I peered around at the other customers. They seemed too preoccupied with their conversations to notice that Cade had sat down. I was thankful for that. I needed to talk to him. I needed to have him tell me everything was going to be okay.
“Thanks,” I said, my emotions bubbling up inside.
He smiled. “Of course.” Th
en he furrowed his brow. “Everything okay?”
I pushed around some abandoned salt on the table. “My parents had the talk with me.” I glanced up to see worry cross his expression. Then it morphed into a teasing smile.
“Didn’t they cover that in fifth-grade health?”
I rolled my eyes. “Not that kind of talk. The divorce talk.” I winced as that word lingered in the air.
He pulled his hand out from under mine and rested it on top. His warmth spread up my arm and exploded throughout my body. I loved how, with one gesture, he could comfort me.
Someone from the crowded tables called his name and we glanced in their direction. A man waved Cade over.
“I should go,” he said, smiling over at me. “Wait around a while?”
I nodded. “Sure.”
He squeezed my hand before standing and weaving his way through the tables.
Thirty minutes passed before he came back and handed me a chocolate shake. I smiled as he leaned down and brushed a kiss on my cheek. Before I could say anything to him, he disappeared again.
Being here helped me feel complete. I didn’t need affirmation from anyone else but Cade. Adults just failed you, and I was tired of trying to earn their approval.
I drummed my fingertips on the table as I drank my shake. This was where I belonged. I was happy. Sort of.
Chapter Sixteen
The sun had dipped down behind the trees before Cade collapsed on the seat next to me. He rested his head on his arm and groaned. Out of instinct, I reached out and rubbed his back.
I loved that I could touch him now. That I didn’t have to worry about anything. I liked Cade and he liked me.
“You okay?” I asked.
He shrugged as he lifted his head to glance over at me. “I am now.”
Heat raced to my cheeks at his comment and the unabashed way he stared at me. He leaned forward and kissed my cheek. I loved that he was so sweet.
When he pulled back, he rubbed his temples. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
I shrugged. Truth was, I hadn’t thought about my parents in the two hours I’d been here. I wasn’t going to let their toxicity ruin my evening.
Rule #2: You Can't Crush on Your Sworn Enemy (The Rules of Love) Page 10