“No,” Taylor said sharply.
“I was kidding, Taylor,” she said, frowning.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
“Well, now we’re even,” Janice said. “We’ve both bitten the other’s head off. I do believe that when someone announces they wish to have a very serious discussion, it has a tendency to wreak havoc with the state of people’s nerves.”
“Yeah. Eat.”
They filled their plates, then ate in silence.
He was chewing and swallowing, Taylor thought, but he sure as hell wasn’t tasting anything. He was a complete basketcase. He wished he was in China, anywhere, except sitting across the table from the only woman he’d ever loved and preparing himself to declare that love. Out loud.
Oh, man, he couldn’t do this. It was too big, too powerful and overwhelming. Too damn terrifying.
Where’s your courage, your strength as a man?
It flew the coop, Dad, Taylor mentally answered, as his father’s words echoed in his mind. Speak, Sinclair. Say something, anything, to break this oppressive silence.
“My father has a date tonight,” he said. Cripe, that was so lame. He’d made it sound as though Clem Sinclair taking a lady out for seafood was the news flash of the year. “Yep. Her name is Mary Alice.”
“Well, that’s nice,” Janice said, smiling. “I hope they have a lovely evening.”
“So do I...now,” he said quietly. “I jumped my dad’s case when he first told me he was going out with a woman.”
“Why?”
Taylor pushed his plate away, leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms over his chest. He stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, then met Janice’s gaze.
“Why?”, he repeated. “Because as soon as he told me his plans, my mind went into fast forward, seeing my father falling in love with this Mary Alice woman. Seeing him loving again, then...then losing again, suffering that agony, that soul-deep pain.”
“But—”
“That, Janice,” he went on, as though she hadn’t spoken, “is how I view love, being in love. Has been for as long as I can remember. And this, in case you’re missing it, is the serious discussion I wanted to have with you.”
“Oh,” Janice said, staring at him with wide eyes.
“To love,” he continued, his voice slightly raspy, “is to lose. To have it end. Either by death, or divorce, it’s over. You’re sliced and diced, and bleeding to death emotionally. Therefore, I vowed never to fall in love.”
“I see,” Janice whispered, an achy sensation gripping her throat.
“But I did” Taylor shifted forward and planted his hands flat on the table. “Fall in love. With you. I...I love you, Janice Jennings.”
Time stopped.
Janice felt as though an invisible hand had pressed a button and everything was suddenly frozen in place. Taylor was looking at her with an intense expression on his face, not blinking, not seeming to be breathing.
She was floating outside of herself, she thought hazily. She was watching the scene at the table from afar, marveling at the wonder of it, hearing the echo of Taylor’s words over and over in her mind, her heart, her very soul.
I love you, Janice Jennings.
Dear heaven, Taylor loved her, her, just as she was. He had not only accepted her without all the outer trappings of beauty, but he had actually, unbelievably, fallen in love with her. For the first time in her life, she was loved for herself, who she was as a person.
And she loved Taylor Sinclair with every fiber of her being.
It was too much, it really was. She had waited an eternity for this gift, had felt it would never come, wasn’t hers to have. But it was here. Love. Acceptance. A future of togetherness, just as the hummingbirds had.
It was overwhelming in its magnitude and glory, more than she had room to embrace within herself. The emotions were flowing rapidly within her, needed an outlet, somewhere to go.
And so, Janice covered her face with her hands and burst into tears.
“Oh, good Lord,” Taylor said, jumping to his feet. “Don’t cry. Why are you crying? Janice?”
He rushed around the table and dropped to one knee next to Janice’s chair. He gripped her gently by the shoulders and turned her toward him.
“Janice? Hey, talk to me. I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “What am I sorry about? Man, this is confusing.” He eased her hands from her face, then trailed his thumbs over the tears on her cheeks. “Please don’t cry. Why are you crying?”
“Because...because you love me,” she said, then sniffled. “Me.”
“Right.” Taylor frowned. “Does this make sense?” He got to his feet, pulling Janice up and into his embrace. “Yes, I love you. I want to be totally honest with you and say that I’m scared down to my socks because I’ve fallen in love with you but...Janice, there’s something missing from this picture.”
“There is?” she said, tears still brimming her eyes.
“Definitely.” Taylor paused. “What are your feelings for me?”
“Oh, Taylor,” she said, fresh tears spilling onto her cheeks. “I love you so much.”
“No joke? You do?” he said, a smile breaking across his face. “Well, that certainly helps this crazy situation, doesn’t it?” He sobered in the next instant. “It isn’t perfect, Janice. We need time to smooth out the wrinkles. The fears I have rush over me and I get shaky, really terrified. And you? Well, you don’t trust me, believe in me completely...not yet.”
“Taylor, I—”
“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll take it slow and easy, get accustomed to all this as it comes, one day at a time.” He brushed his lips over hers. “One night at a time.”
Taylor captured Janice’s mouth in a heated kiss. Janice wrapped her arms around his neck and answered the demands of the kiss in total abandon.
The desire within her was matched with such happiness she felt as though she would burst.
I love you, Taylor, her mind hummed.
Ah, Janice, Taylor thought as heated passion rocketed throughout him, I love you.
He broke the kiss slowly, so reluctantly, then took a step backward, putting distance between Janice and his aroused body.
“Our dinner is getting cold,” he said, smiling.
Janice laughed, her misty eyes sparkling with joy. “Heaven forbid.”
They settled onto their chairs again, then their. gazes met across the table.
“I’ll never forget this moment, Taylor,” Janice whispered.
“No, I won’t, either,” he said quietly.
“I don’t think I want any more to eat right now.”
“I’ve had enough, too,” he said. “We can stick all these nifty little boxes in the refrigerator and heat it up later.”
“Yes.”
This was it, Janice thought, feeling her heart increase its tempo. The time had come. Taylor loved her and she must learn to trust him completely with who she really was.
Janice rose and moved to the side of the table. “Would you like to go for a swim, Taylor?”
He nodded and got to his feet. “Sounds good.”
With hands that were visibly shaking, Janice pulled the looped belt free on the robe and slipped the heavy material from her shoulders, allowing it to fall into a puddle at her feet.
She stood perfectly still, hardly breathing, wearing a tiny, teal blue, bikini bathing suit.
“Oh...Janice.” Taylor’s voice was a hoarse whisper and the echo of his racing heart thundered in his ears. “You are so—”
“No,” she said, raising one hand palm out. “Don’t say it. Please, Taylor, don’t say that I’m beautiful. It’s just outside packaging. You’re in love with me, Janice Jennings, the woman. Isn’t that right, Taylor?” A sob caught in her throat. “Isn’t it?”
Taylor closed the distance between them in two long strides, gathered Janice into his arms and held her tightly.
“Yes,” he said, burying his face in her fragrant hair. “Yes, don’t ever doubt that
.” He eased her back and framed her face in his hands so he could gaze directly into her tear-filled eyes. “I know you’ve been hurt very badly in the past and it centers, somehow, on how beau—how you look. It’s up to you if you want to tell me about it. If you do, I’ll listen. If you choose not to, that’s fine.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“No, I’m thanking you,” he said, “for trusting me enough to wear that swimsuit.” He smiled. “You don’t mind if I appreciate the view a bit, do your?”
“That would be all right, I guess,” she said, managing a small smile. “I just might gawk a tad at you in a bathing suit, too.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Taylor dropped a quick kiss on her lips. “I’ll go change my clothes and meet you in the pool.”
Janice nodded, said she’d put the food in the refrigerator, and they parted. Taylor retrieved the gym bag from the living room and went into Janice’s bedroom. He set the bag on the bed, then dragged both hands down his face.
Unbelievable, he thought. Janice was the most incredibly beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She was perfect, as though she’d been sculpted from the finest ivory marble, then smoothed by the hands of a master artist.
How strange it all was to realize he’d fallen in love with Janice before he knew the extent of her beauty. She was right. It was just outside packaging that encased a warm, loving, intelligent woman.
He was guilty, he knew, of a lifetime of judging the... the wrappings, before approaching a woman. And women did that to him, too, he supposed. They checked him out, deciding if his looks and build passed muster before the come-on-over smile appeared on their faces.
But not this time. Not with Janice.
They’d even made love in the darkness of night, unable to see each other clearly. Exquisite love, more physically intense and emotionally moving than anything he’d ever experienced before.
“Unreal,” Taylor said, pulling his T-shirt over his head. “And fantastic.”
Lord, how he loved that woman. Janice was so rare, so special. And so very fragile and vulnerable.
He frowned as he continued to shed his clothes.
Who had hurt her? It centered on her beauty, that much was certain, and there was something off base about Janice’s mother and—Hell, he didn’t know what the story was.
Would Janice ever trust him enough to bare her soul to him? He’d told her it didn’t matter if she chose to keep her secrets, but...well, it did matter, it really did. Would she come to love him enough to trust him that much?
Did Janice love him enough to stay by his side forever?
A chill swept through Taylor as he stepped into his white bathing trunks.
Forever? In connection with love? Who was he kidding? He knew the score. The evidence was all around him, everywhere he turned. To love was to lose. Eventually. Somehow. It ended. Was gone. And the heartache lasted an eternity.
“Shut up, Sinclair,” he said aloud.
He wasn’t dwelling on his fears, not tonight. He had declared his love to a woman for the first time in his life and she’d responded in kind.
This was their night, and nothing was going to mar it. This was a night of memories to make, to keep... forever.
The last traces of a vibrant sunset had disappeared beneath the horizon to be replaced by a velvety black sky sparkling with millions of stars. The automatic timer had switched on the lights in the pool, creating an aqua oasis in the backyard.
When Taylor reached the edge of the pool, Janice was swimming underwater, her hair floating outward like a glorious fan. He stared at her, feeling the jolt of heated desire low in his body as he gazed at the vision of loveliness before him.
Janice surfaced and treaded water, the smile she gave Taylor genuine.
“Are you coming in?” she said. “It’s heavenly.”
Oh, my gracious, she thought, Taylor in a bathing suit was a sight to behold. He was perfectly proportioned... wide shoulders, nicely muscled arms, narrow hips and long, powerful legs. The hair on his chest was causing her fingertips to tingle with the urge to tangle in the masculine curls. My, my, my.
“I confess, I’m gawking,” she said. “You’re magnificent, Taylor.”
And you are beauty personified, he thought.
“You’re not too shabby yourself, ma’am,” he said, smiling.
Taylor dove into the water, causing Janice to shriek as a spray of water fell over her. He surfaced in front of her, treading water as she was.
“Catch me if you can,” she said, then sank beneath the surface and swam away.
“You’re on, mermaid,” Taylor said. “Here I come.”
They frolicked like carefree children, their joyous laughter carried on a gentle breeze. Half an hour later, Janice gripped the edge of the pool in the deep end with one hand and brushed her hair from her face.
“That’s it, that’s all,” she said. “I’m all tuckered out, mister.”
Taylor swam to where she was, bracing his hands on the rolled edging of the pool on either side of her, trapping her between his arms.
“Thank goodness,” he said, smiling. “I thought I was going to have to blow my machismo to hell by begging to stop. You’re an excellent swimmer.”
“It’s fun. I enjoy it It’s very relaxing.”
“Fun,” Taylor repeated, then outlined her lips with the tip of his tongue. “Enjoyable.” He nipped at her lower lip in sensuous little bites. “Relaxing.”
“I...” Janice started, then stopped speaking as a frisson of heat feathered down her back.
Taylor claimed her mouth in a searing kiss. She released her hold on the side of the pool and encircled his neck with her hands, his hips with her legs. He tightened his grip on the edging to support their weight and deepened the kiss.
They were on fire, the cool water having no diminishing effect on the heated desire consuming them. They broke the kiss, took sharp breaths, then sought each other’s mouths once again, eagerly, hungrily.
Janice’s breasts were crushed to Taylor’s chest as his arousal pressed heavily against her. Tongues met, darted, stroked, dueled and danced, heightening passions even more.
Taylor reached behind Janice with one hand, undid the bow at the nape of her neck, then unsnapped the thin band of material across her back. He flung the bikini top onto the decking.
Janice’s breasts were half above, half below, the surface of the water. Taylor licked the beads of water from the feminine bounty. Janice murmured in pleasure at the tantalizing sensations.
She inched her fingers into his thick, wet hair, urging him nearer, offering more. He lifted one breast to draw the nipple into his mouth, laving it with his tongue.
“Oh, Taylor,” Janice whispered as the building heat within her flared hotter.
Taylor raised his head to look into her eyes. “I want you, Janice.”
“Yes. I want you, too, Taylor.”
With an economy of motion they slithered out of their suits, then Janice wrapped her legs around Taylor’s hips again. He slid one hand down her glistening back to position her, then entered her, thrusting deeply within her.
She flung her head back and closed her eyes, savoring...savoring...savoring...
It was ecstasy.
Taylor increased the tempo, surging into her, one hand on the edge of the pool to keep them afloat, the other at the small of Janice’s back.
The pounding rhythm caused heated spirals to tighten within them, hotter, then hotter yet. Janice clung to Taylor’s shoulders as she matched the wild tempo.
Until...
“Taylor!”
“Ah, Janice!”
They were flung upward to greet the welcoming stars in the sky, then spun through the glittering heavens, holding fast to the one making the wondrous journey with them.
Back they came...down...down...
Taylor lost his grip on the edge of the pool and their lips met beneath the surface of the water. He wrapped one arm around Janice’s waist and broke the
top of the water again, grabbing the edge of the pool. She nestled her head on his shoulder.
“Oh, Taylor,” she whispered.
“I know.” He took a much-needed breath, then chuckled. “Maybe in our next life we’ll be dolphins.”
“No,” she said softly. “I’d like us to be hummingbirds.”
Chapter Thirteen
The following weeks flew by.
Janice and Taylor were together every evening... and night. Sometimes they went out to dinner; other evenings they brought food into either Janice’s house, or Taylor’s apartment. On several occasions they attempted to cook together, soon realizing that neither was particularly proficient in the chore.
Janice discovered to her amused delight that Taylor was a pack rat. While basically tidy, he had a multitude of neat stacks of newspapers and magazines in the room in his apartment he’d designated as his den.
“You never know when you might need to review an article you’ve read in the past,” he’d explained. “You just never know.”
“I see. But how would you remember where you read it?”
“Oh. I never thought of that. Well, I guess I’d just dive in and search for it.”
“Ah.”
They shopped for groceries, spent lazy hours by Janice’s pool, and went out to dinner one night with Clem and Mary Alice.
“I just double-dated with my father,” Taylor said, when he and Janice had returned to her house. “Is that weird?”
“I think it’s sweet. Your father and Mary Alice seem very happy together.”
Taylor had pulled Janice into his embrace and looked directly into her eyes.
“Like father like son,” he said. “I’m a very happy man, Janice Jennings.”
“And I’m a happy woman, Taylor Sinclair. I never dreamed I could feel this way.”
They made love each night, reaching for the other eagerly, as though it had been days instead of hours since they’d shared the glorious intimacy.
In the morning, Taylor would lie in bed and watch Janice dress, seeing the sensuous lingerie from Sleeping Beauty covered by the familiar boxy suit. See her glorious hair twisted into the severe bun at the nape of her neck.
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