Haven

by Mary Lindsey

  Rain dumped his handfuls of pasta in the trash, resisting the urge to kick the bin across the room.

  From the corner, she grabbed a broom and swept the last broken fragments into a pile. “When I refused to give up the police job, he moved out.” She gave a rueful smile. “The next thing I knew, my sister was pregnant, and I found out third-hand. He didn’t tell me, but he told the chief of all people. Why did he do that?”

  To make himself less disposable and less desirable as new blood to mate with the pack. Rain knew she wasn’t asking him the question. It was aimed at the universe, which he knew didn’t give a shit. He leaned against the counter, heart aching for this woman who was the victim of a war she didn’t know about. And now, to top that off, the same war was going to cost her another person she loved. The image of the black wolf’s bloody face floated through his head, and he gripped the counter until his hands ached.

  She dumped the dustpan full of pasta pieces into the trash can. “Roger left that same day. Ended up on a rig out in the Gulf of Mexico. I received word from the offshore drilling company that Roger had died of a heart attack the next month, which still strikes me as weird. He was young and healthy. He only had his mama growing up, and she died his senior year in high school, so they sent his body back here.”

  Roger fit the disposable profile perfectly. No doubt his death had been arranged. Rain wanted to beat the shit out of some Weavers as he watched his aunt pull another package of pasta from the pantry.

  “Reinhardt Funeral Home took care of everything for free, which was really nice of them.”

  Yeah, nice.

  She tore the pasta open successfully this time. “For some reason, they brought his ashes here, to my parents’ house, rather than to Roger’s and my house. I should have told Lynn what had happened, but it all went down so fast, I was still processing it myself. She was living at home, and we weren’t speaking, for obvious reasons. I always thought I’d find the right time to tell her he was dead. That was a huge mistake.”

  The spaghetti hit the pan of boiling water with a hiss.

  “What happened when they brought the ashes?” Rain asked, slipping onto a stool at the island.

  “Well, Lynn was two months pregnant with you. According to my mom, she snapped completely. Said she acted like she was running for her life from the moment she found out he was dead. She packed an overnight bag, withdrew all her money from her bank account, and caught the first bus out of town. She sent Mom a letter saying she had to keep you from ‘them.’ That she’d promised Roger she’d leave if anything happened to him.”

  Sonofabitch. His mom hadn’t run away because she was a junkie. She became a junkie because she had been forced to run. Because she was terrified of monsters. How much had she known? he wondered. Of course she’d hated him. Everything wrong in her life was because of his existence. He was her rain cloud. Storming and killing her sunshine.

  Ruby stirred the boiling pasta. “I had no idea where Lynn had gone. I didn’t even know if she was alive or not. If you were alive.” She tapped the water off the spoon on the side of the pan and set it on a plate. “I can’t tell you how relieved I was when that judge wrote to me and told me you needed a place to live.”

  The judge in Houston who sent you here is a Weaver, Chief Richter had said.

  Bile rose in Rain’s throat. They were using Ruby like they’d used his mom. Like they’d used his dad. Like they were using him.

  Things had to change. Freddie needed to step up as Alpha and follow her father’s initiative, and he would make sure that happened, even if he died in the process.

  The doorbell rang.

  “That must be your girl,” Ruby said, wiping her eyes.

  Your girl. If only. Rain put his hands on his aunt’s shoulders. “Sometimes people do things that seem totally random and hurtful when in fact, they’re making calculated decisions to protect the people they love.”

  She stared at him, brow furrowed. Sadly, he’d never be able to explain it to her. His father had left to protect Ruby. Lynn had left to protect Rain.

  The doorbell rang again, and he strode from the kitchen to let Freddie in.

  Rain knew he wouldn’t leave New Wurzburg to protect people he loved. He would stay here and die for them instead.

  Thirty-Six

  Dinner went down without any weirdness at all. Ruby and Freddie took to each other right away, laughing about stuff the townspeople had done over the years, like a guy who had greased his trash cans to keep out raccoons but ended up setting them on fire with sparklers one Fourth of July because the grease was flammable. Then there was a woman who never wore her glasses and thought it would be a good idea to bring the kitty living under her house inside during a storm. The kitty turned out to be a baby skunk. The woman always wore her glasses from that point forward.

  As he watched the two of them laughing and talking, it struck him how much he’d missed out on in his life. How much he would miss in the future he’d never have. How much he wanted this. Normalcy. Belonging. Family.

  His phone rang on the counter, and Grant’s name popped onto the screen. He grabbed it and excused himself from the table.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  Through the doorway to the kitchen, Freddie’s laughter mingled with Aunt Ruby’s like music, drifting into the den.

  “Well, turns out it was nothing to worry about. I dropped by Haven and talked to Merrick, who had grilled the boys until they told him what was going on,” Grant said.

  Rain let out a relieved breath. He had enough trouble without the boys kicking up more. A blood-in would have been terrible.

  “Evidently, they were yanking his chain. It was a joke or something. Merrick said they told him the hit was ordered on a bug of some kind. They were going to prevent an infestation.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah. So, nothing to worry about. Looks like a practical joke among cousins.”

  “That’s a relief. Thanks for letting me know.”

  “Still, stay close to Freddie until she steps up, okay?”

  “Yeah.” He planned to stick as close to Freddie as she would allow for as long as possible. It would be easier now that she and Ruby had met and got along so well. Maybe Ruby could be like the mom she’d never had. His heart constricted painfully in his chest. Like the mom he’d never had but had finally found too late.

  When Rain got back to the kitchen, both women fell silent.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” Freddie said with a smirk, looking him up and down.

  Ruby snorted.

  Rain looked down at himself to be sure he was zipped up and put together. “What?”

  “Why don’t you two go out on the porch while I finish up these dishes?” Ruby said. “The surprise doesn’t arrive for a while yet, so you have time to kill.”

  Rain gritted his teeth. He really hated surprises.

  The moon was visible over the trees, nowhere near full but big enough to cast moon shadows across the house. Freddie sat on the porch swing, and Rain joined her. “So what was so funny in the kitchen?”

  She grinned. “We were just comparing notes.”

  “On…”

  “Like father like son…” She winked and set the swing in motion. She patted the place beside her, and he joined her on the swing. For a while, they said nothing, listening to the squeak of the long porch-swing chains and the raspy song of the crickets in the fields behind the neighborhood.

  “You gonna tell me what you saw in the vision at Mrs. Goff’s that had you writhing on the floor screaming?” she asked, staring straight ahead.

  “You gonna tell me why you left the room pissed off afterward?”

  “I wasn’t pissed.” She continued to stare straight ahead.

  He didn’t respond other than to give the swing a push with his foot. He’d learned that Freddie needed to reveal things in her own time. Rushing her wouldn’t help. That was true of most powerful people he’d met. And Freddie was powerful. H
e loved that about her. But he also knew she was a lot like him. She was struggling for words because under that tough exterior, she was tender inside and that was the part that was hardest to deal with.

  She took a breath through her nose. “I was mad at myself.” She shifted on the swing to face him. “I like you so much. That’s the problem. If I’d followed the rules and stuck to my kind, none of this would have happened. You’d be safe in this house with your aunt, never knowing my kind even existed. Your life wouldn’t be in danger.”

  The swing jerked to a stop when he planted his feet on the wooden porch. “Wrong, wrong, and wrong.”

  She turned her head away, mouth in a thin line.

  Palms on either side of her face, he coaxed her to look at him. “This whole thing…my being here has been set up from before I was even born. The coven tried to convert my dad. He ran, so they killed him—at least I’m pretty sure they did. For all I know, they killed my mom, too. When the time was right, they had a Weaver judge order me here.”

  Her eyes were wide with surprise and disbelief.

  He stroked his thumb over the smooth skin of her lower lip. “They’d planned this all along, Freddie. Even if you’d followed the rules, this still would have happened. I would not be safe and ignorant in this house, like you said. I’d just be ignorant. Thank God you agreed to go out with me and accidentally shifted that night at Enchanted Rock, because if I were like Gerald and hadn’t known anything before I drank that wine, I’d be in even more danger.”

  “Wow.” Her expression changed several times as she processed. “I had no idea.” Her eyes narrowed. “Those assholes!” She pushed to her feet. “How dare they? I’m gonna—”

  He wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her into his lap. “No. Don’t.” He held her close, burying his face in her hair. “Don’t.” Her body vibrated with anger and tension. “I’m grateful it happened.”

  She pulled back. “Are you nuts?”

  “No. I’m not nuts. I’m…” As he looked at her beautiful face in the moonlight, a strange sense of calm flooded him. “I’m happy. For the first time in my life, I’m happy, Freddie. If the Weavers hadn’t brought me here, I would never have met you, which—”

  “Stop.” She put her hand over his mouth. “I don’t want you to become a Watcher.”

  “I do,” he mumbled behind her palm.

  “No, really. Listen.” She dropped her hand from his mouth to his shoulder. “The night you drank the wine with the boys, Uncle Ulrich made me go to a hoity-toity dinner with leaders from packs in Russia and Germany, and I found out some stuff. In Europe, they’ve moved the age when an Alpha has to choose a mate from twenty-one to twenty-six. There’s a movement to do that here, too—all initiated by men, of course, because there are hardly any female Alphas, and they want to screw around longer before settling down.” She almost bounced with excitement. “See? It buys us time. You don’t have to become one of us. I mean, the Weavers are down with you, clearly, which was one of my huge concerns. And if I don’t have to pick a mate for eight more years, then…”

  He put his finger to her lips. “Stop. I want to be a Watcher. I belong with this pack. I’ve never belonged anywhere before.” She shook her head. “And I want to be with you,” he continued.

  “You can be with me anyway.” She ran her hands over his temples and tightened her fingers in his hair. “Promise me you won’t let them change you now.”

  He shook his head. “No deal.” He had to change as soon as possible. He could defend Freddie better if her father’s killer tried to hurt her. And deep down, he hoped converting would somehow help him with the black wolf. In fact, he’d hoped to get Freddie to bite him tonight to initiate the change.

  She tightened her hold in his hair to the point it almost hurt. “I can’t…” She turned her head to the side and took a deep breath as if gaining her composure. “I can’t stand it if it fails and you end up a shift junkie like Gerald—or worse, you end up dead in a barrel. We still don’t know who did that. Rain, you could die. Promise me.”

  It was clear she wasn’t letting up until he promised her something. “I won’t convert until it’s absolutely necessary or you say it’s okay. How’s that?”

  The kitchen window on the side of the house was slid open with a thump. “Ten minutes, kids!” Ruby called before the window banged shut.

  After studying him for a few moments, Freddie released Rain’s hair. “Fine. I’ll take that as a promise.”

  Rain stretched his arm across the back of the swing, wanting to change the topic before Freddie tried to override his bit about “absolutely necessary,” because changing to a Watcher as soon as possible was “absolutely necessary.” “What does Ruby have planned?”

  “I don’t know. She didn’t tell me.”

  “I hate surprises.”

  “Really? I love them.” A look crossed her face that made his heart kick up a beat. “I bet I can change your mind about surprises.”

  Before he could answer, she stood in front of him and then crawled up onto the bench swing, facing him with her knees on either side of him. He planted his feet to keep the swing steady. “You’re going to knock us out of this thing,” he said with a laugh.

  “If I do this right, you won’t care.”

  He stopped laughing when she leaned forward and kissed him. Just like every kiss he’d had with Freddie, it was hungry and set his entire body on fire. Feet braced on the wooden porch to hold the swing still, he gripped the back of the bench as their tongues twined and danced. On and on, the kiss went. She made a growl and sank her fingers in his hair.

  God, he loved this. Freddie Burkhart got him going in ways he never knew he went. He would’ve given anything to wrap his arms around her and pull her against him, but he was afraid if he let go of the back of the swing, they’d tumble out, so he relaxed and decided to let her lead.

  She’s a born leader, Grant had said. Ha. The guy didn’t even have a clue.

  Spreading her knees wider, she lowered herself onto his thighs and pulled away from the kiss. Breathing hard, they stared at each other for a moment before she reached between them and unzipped his jeans. Parting the denim, she slipped her fingers through the opening in the front of his boxer briefs. When her cool fingertips met his heated flesh, he hissed in a breath through his teeth, fighting the urge to let go of the back of the swing.

  “Surprise,” she said, wrapping her fingers around him.

  Oh shit. No way. She couldn’t touch him like this here, on his aunt’s porch. There were neighbors—not that he’d ever seen them out at night, but his aunt could come out at any second.

  She kissed him again and began stroking him in a way that made him forget all about neighbors and aunts and anything but her.

  “I like you, Rain,” she said, running her lips down his neck. “Never liked anyone this much.”

  Unable to speak, he held his breath, amazed by her words and touch. She ran her free hand across his chest and down his abdomen, then froze.

  Her body stiffened, and she pulled away. The swing almost tipped over backward as she scrambled off him like he was toxic.

  “Wh-What?” he stammered, struggling to come back to earth and not lose balance.

  “You’re asking me?” She took a few more steps back and pointed at his waist with a trembling finger. “What the hell is that?”

  For a moment, her words didn’t register, then he realized she meant the wolf belt he’d put on after work. “Freddie, I—”

  She threw her arms up. “No. Just shut up for a minute.”

  Anger and fear swirled in a sickening concoction in his gut as he pushed to his feet. The swing nailed him in the back of his knees a couple of times while he zipped his pants and waited for her to pull herself together.

  “Where did you get it?” she asked finally.

  He wanted to take her in his arms but was afraid to move for fear she’d bolt. “Mrs. Goff.”

  “That witch! Is that why you want
ed to go out there? So you could sneak this in on me?”

  “No. She snuck it in on me.”

  “Oh, sure she did. You went behind my back to become a Watcher even though I told you no.” She paced to the end of the porch. “I trusted you. I wanted to be with you…like, long term. And now, you pull this shit.”

  “I’m not pulling any shit. And like I told you before, I take what you say to heart, but in the end, I make my own decisions. I’m not one of your cousins you can push around. Just like I can’t push you around. I wouldn’t even try. That’s why you like me. Why we’re good together. You need someone as strong as you are.” He took several long strides toward her, but she stepped to the side. He’d worked hard for her trust and was desperate to keep it. “I didn’t go behind your back. Mrs. Goff stuck it in my backpack. I found it in there today.”

  “So you decided to put it on. Just like that. Put on something that will ultimately kill you.”

  His heart skipped a beat. She wasn’t mad; she was worried for him. Worried because she cared. “The belt isn’t going to kill me. I’m hoping it’ll save my life.”

  “Oh, so now you have the power of sight, too?”

  “No. But Mrs. Goff does.” He regretted saying it the minute it came out of his mouth.

  Her arms dropped limply to her sides. “You saw something horrible after you ate that cookie, didn’t you?”

  “It’s hard to interpret what I saw.”

  “And now you’re going to lie, on top of everything else?”

  The front door opened, followed by the squeak of the screen door. “Hey, you two. It’s time.” Ruby stepped onto the porch, drying her hands on a dish towel, studying them with a concerned expression. “Everything okay?”

  “Everything’s fine,” Rain lied.

  “Well, then. Let’s go get your surprise.” Her face lit up like one of the fireflies flickering in the yard. “You’re going to love this.” She pulled out her car keys. “We’re going to pick up Jeremiah Brand at the bus stop for a three-day visit. I figure he can sleep on the couch.” She studied his face expectantly, then her smile faded. “Your friend from Houston?”