Letting him go was the best thing. The safest thing. Because she could try and convince herself she no longer felt anything for Ritchie Dangerfield, but her body, her heart, her soul knew better.
CHAPTER FIVE
Ritchie trudged down the road, gravel crunching underfoot, emphasising the silence of the countryside. The night was black, the moon yet to rise. The only light was that coming from his phone, the in-built torch and map app helping him pick his way back to the farmhouse, so he could get his rental car and get the hell out of town.
He shivered and paused to zip up his leather jacket. His anger, the type he’d pushed down his whole life, refused to set free, had kept him warm after he’d left the chocolate shop. His dejection had morphed into unbridled fury by the time he’d passed the last shop. But he’d underestimated how far away the Hunters’ farm was, and soon the damp air had settled into his bones and turned his booted feet to ice, freezing the rage that had propelled him along.
Perhaps if he stayed out long enough his heart would ice up too, taking away the pain that throbbed with every step, with each breath he took.
He swore out loud, then startled as an owl hooted, telling him off for disturbing the peace. God, even the animals here had it in for him.
He heard the smooth purr of an engine and the glare of headlights lit up the road before him, revealing more road. More fields. No house. Shit. He moved to the side of the lane, then swore again as a twig from the hedgerow grazed his cheek.
‘You okay there?’ A polished male voice called out. ‘Need a ride?’
‘Nah, I’m good, mate.’ Ritchie kept walking. He wasn’t in the mood for chatter. Or to sign autographs. Or even to be fawned over. God, he really was on the out and outs.
And why was that bloody car still trailing after him?
He stopped in his tracks and waited for it to crawl up beside him. The passenger window was wound down, and a polite smile greeted him.
‘When I said “do you need a ride” what I meant was, I’ve been instructed to give you a ride. Serena sent me.’
‘Well I don’t answer to Serena. So, like I said, no, I’m fine.’
‘She said if I don’t get you home safe and sound then she’ll ban me from that chocolate shop of hers, and I’ve been one of her guinea pigs, and I really, really don’t want to be banned.’
The guy sounded solemn. And a little scared.
‘Also, Serena terrifies me a little.’
A smile cracked through Ritchie’s pissed off sneer. ‘Well I guess just because she and I are at odds with each other, that doesn’t mean you should suffer. And, as much as I don’t want to admit it, especially right now, those chocolates of hers are damn good.’
‘Thank you. I appreciate it. My waistline might not. But I do.’ The car door was pushed open and Ritchie sank into buttery leather seats that were, blessedly, heated. ‘Oh, that feels good. It’s cold enough out there I thought I’d freeze my dick off.’
The driver thrust his hand out. ‘Christian Middlemore. Pleased to help save your penis. Perhaps that’s why Serena sent me out? She must care about that appendage of yours.’
Ritchie snorted as he shook the proffered hand. ‘Doubt it. The way she’s been acting lately…’ He paused, not wanting to delve into his private life with a stranger. ‘Well, I don’t think she has any interest in the contents of my pants.’
‘Women are mysterious like that. My girlfriend, Jody, had so much trouble with her feelings for me she acted rather terribly at times. She even vomited in this very car.’
Ritchie attempted a surreptitious sniff.
Christian laughed. ‘Technically, she managed to do it outside of the car. Just.’
‘Girl must have some mad reflexes.’
‘Not so much. We were stuck in a sheep jam.’
‘Sheep jam?’
‘That’s when a flock of sheep is being shepherded from one field to the other, causing all one or two cars that might be traversing the lane at the same time to have to sit and wait for them to be finished. You’ll see it, if you stick around long enough that is.’
Ritchie splayed his hands in front of the heater vents, relishing the rush of hot air on his frozen fingers. ‘Not planning to stay, to be honest. I was just heading back to her parents’ house to get my car and go.’ Ritchie closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, hoping to quell the rising emotion. He didn’t want to show his feelings so openly in front of some random guy. Sure, he was a friend of Serena’s, and there was that weird Rabbits Leap cone of silence thing going on, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t be broken, that the guy next to him wouldn’t go running to the papers with his ‘I Saw Rock God, Ritchie Dangerfield, Cry Like A Baby’ story.
He sucked in his cheeks, bit down hard, focussed on the pain and released. ‘Enough about me. Tell me about you. This isn’t the kind of car one expects to find in a place like Rabbits Leap. What’s your story?’ He relaxed into an easy smile and settled back into the seat.
‘Not much to tell really. I came here to manage a festival, fell in love, realised there was nowhere else I’d rather be.’ Christian flicked the indicator and turned right into another narrow lane. ‘I mean, Jody and the boys… They’re my life. I’ll be sitting at the kitchen table eating my breakfast, watching the boys gripe at each other, and Jody threatening them with some sort of punishment if they don’t stop, and I’ll wonder how I ever thought I was happier single. That I never wanted to be part of a family. To have kids. Now I wouldn’t want it any other way.’
Ritchie ignored the aching pain in his heart, reminding him of how alone he was in the world. The one person in the world he’d considered family, Serena, had ditched him. ‘You seem to enjoy playing happy families.’
‘Not just playing. Being. And it is nice. More than nice. It’s love in all its wondrous glory.’ Christian’s face pinkened. ‘God, that was a bit poetic. Sorry. I’m guessing kids weren’t on the radar for you and Serena?’
‘For us?’ Ritchie shook his head. ‘No. I mean, Serena brought it up early on in our marriage, but I explained to her that our lifestyle isn’t… I mean, wasn’t… family friendly. And we’ve always rubbed along really well by ourselves, just the two of us.’ The ache in his heart deepened. They had rubbed along well. He was going to have to get used to thinking about Serena in the past tense.
Ritchie appraised the man beside him. Well-dressed in tapered trousers teamed with leather shoes. Shirt lapels peeking out of a woollen jersey. A black pea coat, open at the front. And a soft grey scarf draped around his neck. He may have moved to Rabbits Leap, but he’d clearly kept his pre-Leap style. ‘So where did you live before moving here?’
‘London. Born and bred.’
Ritchie wriggled his toes, glad to be getting some feeling back in his feet. ‘Can I ask, love aside, what made you swap out city life for this… well… hole of oblivion. I mean, what do you do for entertainment round these parts?’
Christian’s shoulders lifted and fell. ‘What can I say? I like it here. The pace, the air, the people. And I’m busy enough. I have my own business and I help out with local events when I can … well, when I’m allowed. The women of this town are pretty protective.’ Christian grinned, his eyes darting to the heavens before returning to the road. ‘Marjorie’s got me helping out with the Rabbits Leap Farmer of the Year Awards, giving me more and more responsibility. I dare say she’s beginning to trust me… a little.’
‘Well at least Marjorie trusts you a little. I’m pretty sure she wishes she could string my guts up the town flagpole.’
‘She’s protective of Serena. Even if she has a weird way of showing it sometimes. She can be hard as heck on her, but I think it’s because she wants the best for her.’
‘Yeah, I get that. I want the best for her too. Serena’s happiness means everything to me.’
‘And that’s why you came to haul her away?’ Christian coughed into his fist, his cheeks flushing a soft pink. �
��Er, Jody and Serena had a bit of a chat before I was given instructions to come and find you. Jody may have filled me in on some of the details…’
Come to haul her away? It was a simple question, but something in Christian’s tone set Ritchie’s nerves on edge. Had he really been concerned about Serena’s happiness? Life without his muse made him miserable and left him unable to do the thing he loved every bit as much as he loved Serena – make music. It’s why he’d come for her. Serena and music meant he was happy. But he hadn’t once stopped to think if Serena felt the same.
Was life without Ritchie something she preferred? Was that why she had so easily been able to sell off the remnants of her old life to fund her new one?
‘Sorry, did I touch a sore spot?’ Christian pulled into the Hunters’ property and brought the car up to the door. He stopped but kept the motor running and the heater going.
‘No. Yeah. Maybe.’ Ritchie interlaced his fingers and squeezed his fisted hands. Tried to think. ‘I don’t know. My life’s been turned upside down by her leaving. She asked me not to follow her. Not to be in contact. I thought it was just Serena needing a bit of time out. Our marriage has had a lot of love, but it’s not always been easy. I mean she’s had to deal with me.’ He gave a half-hearted laugh.
‘And you’ve had to deal with her. Nobody is perfect in a relationship.’ Christian chuckled, lightening the sombre atmosphere in the car. ‘Do you know Serena did not like me one iota when we first met. Apparently she was happy for Jody to have a fling with me, but she didn’t trust me to look after her friend’s heart. And I suspect if I were to ever hurt Jody, Serena would do to my guts what you think her mother would do to yours. But I guess that’s the danger of loving someone. You never know when or if your heart will be broken, so you have a choice. Love fiercely. Or conservatively. One gets you everything you’ve ever wanted, with a high price if it falls apart. The other, well… what’s the point of conservative love?’
‘Sounds boring to me.’ Ritchie ran a hand through his hair. ‘God, what kind of blokes are we sitting in a car together getting all romantic?’
Christian choked back a laugh.
‘That sounded so different in my head.’ Ritchie grinned and opened the door. ‘Hey, thanks for the ride. I appreciate it. My downstairs operation appreciates it.’
‘Anytime.’ Christian set the car in reverse. ‘Oh, and if you want to chat, also not a particularly manly thing to do, I’m around. And I’m the soul of discretion. I never told anyone about that time I caught you prancing about in your dressing room wearing a pink tutu.’
Ritchie’s cheeks heated up in embarrassment and surprise, despite the frigid air. He vaguely remembered that. It had been doing his ‘my body is an amusement park’ stage. Too much booze. Too much whatever he could get of anything else. He’d found the tutu in his dressing room and decided to try it on for size. See if it had any rock star appeal.
‘How do you know about that?’
‘I was the event manager for that particular concert – that’s what I did in my old life. I opened the door to tell you your car was ready, and there you were, twirling around, arms above your head, whistling the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. Anyway, the offer’s open. Mrs Hunter has my number if you want it.’
‘Cool. Yeah. Great. Thanks.’ Ritchie stomped his feet, faking his need for warmth, despite embarrassment filling his body with fire. ‘Right, well, see you. Thanks again.’ He waved to Christian, who honked a goodbye in return, before walking up to the front door.
He loitered out the front, wondering whether he should say goodbye to Serena’s parents before he left or if he should just get in his rental car and go. The door opened abruptly, light from the hallway spilling out, momentarily blinding him. He held a hand up to his eyes, only to see Marjorie standing in the door, her hands on her hips, her stance wide, a glower of disapproval upon her face.
‘Are you going to come in or are you going to catch your death from cold?’ She stepped to the side of the door and waved him in with an impatient hand. ‘And what were you thinking going off like that? You could have gotten lost. You could have wandered through the fields, found the local marsh and drowned. Or worse, become the marsh spirit’s plaything.’
‘Marsh spirit?’ Ritchie turned to face Marjorie who bustled past him, up the hall, in the direction of the kitchen. ‘What the hell is a marsh spirit?’
‘Don’t you be dropping those sorts of swear words around me, Ritchie. I’m a lady. And a marsh spirit is something we have here in Rabbits Leap, and we take it very seriously. It helped us rid ourselves of a rabbit plague, in exchange for changing the village’s name from Arrowhead to Rabbits Leap. And just over a century ago one gent got in a huff with his Mrs, went for a walk, and never came back. They found his hat by the swamp. And they say on a particularly warm summer’s eve you can hear rhythmic moans, as if they are in a tug of war. One of pleasure. One of pain. Guess which moan belongs to the marsh spirit?’
Goosebumps prickled the back of Ritchie’s neck. Sure, it was just some stupid folk story, probably, but he didn’t want to test that theory. ‘Okay, so no more late night rambles.’ Ritchie followed Marjorie into the kitchen and sat at the table where a plate, knife and fork were laid out.
‘So, what did you do to Serena to upset her so?’ Marjorie snapped up the plate in front of him and placed it on the kitchen counter. ‘She rang us in quite the state.’
Ritchie bristled at the accusation being flung at him. Serena was in a state? Serena was upset? What the hell? ‘You know, I don’t know what Serena told you on the phone, but it’s not her that’s upset here. It’s not her that’s the injured party. It’s me.’
‘You?’ Marjorie gave a disbelieving cluck of her tongue. ‘Like I’m going to believe that a rich and famous, used-to-getting-his-way fellow like you is the one who has been wronged. Honestly. You haven’t seen Serena the way I have in the last few months. When that girl of mine turned up on our doorstep after however many years of being away she was a sight, I tell you. A right sight. Too skinny for her own good. Dark circles under her eyes. So bad I asked if you’d beaten her up.’
Ritchie sucked a breath in, ready to defend himself. There was no way—
‘Calm down, Ritchie. Breathe. Deflate that puffed up chest of yours. I know you didn’t. And that you wouldn’t. Serena assured me immediately. Still, she didn’t tell me what caused those dark rings. Or why she was in need of a good feed. Or why despite having, from what I’ve seen in the gossip magazines, a huge house with multiple rooms and wardrobes, she came home with all of two suitcases.’ Marjorie placed the plate back in front of Ritchie. ‘Every day since she first left I’ve worried about her, but seeing her like that, seeing the way she was when she returned… it was the first time I’d ever had proper cause for alarm.’
Beef stew from the looks of it; hearty chunks of meat intermingled with carrot and onion, celery and potato. ‘This looks delicious. Thank you.’
‘Well I could hardly have you starving or freezing to death on my watch. The last thing I need is a horde of rabid fans banging on my door, seeking retribution.’ Marjorie settled into the chair opposite his and fixed him with suspicious eyes. ‘The way I see it, it’s up to you to tell me what happened. What went on between the two of you that had my girl run back to the place she shunned for so long?’
Ritchie lifted a forkful of stew to his mouth, blew on it, watched the steam rise. ‘I wish I knew. Really. But I don’t. She’s saying now that it’s because she’d become bored, and that I was stale, or life with me was stale. But I didn’t see this coming. I mean things were the same as always between us. I thought we were still in love. The only major change was that one day, Serena decided she didn’t want to tour with me anymore, which caused tension between us. But we’ve had moments before. Disagreements. But she’s never left without a word before.’
‘So you’re as in the dark as I am.’
‘In the dark – and i
n the cold. Serena’s serious when she says she doesn’t want me in her life. I’d convinced myself she was kidding herself. But I know now I was wrong. Our marriage is over.’ Ritchie set his fork down – his appetite had vanished. ‘I suppose you’ll be happy to see the back of me. I mean, it was me that stole her away, right? That’s why you dislike me so much.’
Marjorie tutted. ‘I can be a harsh cow when hurt, Ritchie. Serena choosing you over her home? Well, you’re not a parent, you wouldn’t understand. Every birthday she wasn’t here. Every holiday she didn’t come home for. It tore at my heart. Little by little. Broke it. To have someone you love with everything you have leave again and again. And all you want to do is protect them… I don’t know. Maybe I loved her too much growing up. Smothered her. Maybe that’s why she keeps abandoning me. Us.’
Ritchie shrugged. He knew nothing of being over-loved. Unless love was shown with endless put-downs, clips around the ear and punches to the gut.
‘I’ve spent countless hours trying to figure it out, and I’ve come to believe Serena doesn’t really know what she wants, which is why she’s always been able to just up and leave without a second thought for those left behind.’ Marjorie straightened in her seat. ‘Although I had hoped she was serious about returning home. I guess I was wrong.’
‘Except she is serious about returning. Have you seen what she’s doing at that shop of hers, Marjorie?’ Ritchie couldn’t believe he was defending Serena, but his protective instinct had kicked in, and if he could do one more thing before leaving Rabbits Leap, he wanted Serena and her mother to be close in the way he wished he could have been with his own mother, but never could have been. Her attention focussed not on her sons, but on keeping the man who beat them happy, in the hope that the hidings would be dealt out less frequently. A wasted effort.
Christmas at the Second Chance Chocolate Shop Page 7