Deacon (Starkis Family #1)

by Cheryl Douglas

  A smile quirked his lips. “My beautiful Mia, hotels are for my conquests. My bedroom, my private sanctuary, is reserved for making love to the one woman I revere.”

  “You haven’t…” After all the questions I’d asked him, all the vile things I’d accused him of, I didn’t know why I was embarrassed to ask him this. “Had other women here?”

  “I keep a hotel room not far from my office,” he explained. “It is dangerous for a man in my position to invite random women into his home.”

  “You didn’t invite me.” Shame colored my cheeks. “I invited myself. I’m sorry about that. I just…” Needed to see you. Wanted to read you the riot act about intruding on my dinner with my brother. After everything that had happened, that seemed almost insignificant now.

  “My home is your home, Mia. You are always welcome here.”

  I curled my face into his neck, breathing in his now-familiar scent and basking in his warmth. I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but tonight, I wanted to make beautiful memories with this complex man.

  Chapter Ten

  Deacon

  I’d almost lost her. That was the one thing that kept reverberating through my mind as I laid Mia in the middle of my king-size bed. She’d almost walked out on me. I’d taken a step back tonight and almost given in to temptation, lured by the promise of hot and dirty sex—just the way I liked it. Then Mia had walked in, and my world bottomed out.

  I’d seen her moving through my house, heading for the door, and I knew a fear I’d never known before. If she’d walked in even a few minutes later, if I’d had a few more shots with dinner, she would have seen Selene giving me pleasure while I moaned Mia’s name.

  I was one sick bastard—one terrified, sick bastard—because I knew even one misstep would cost me the best thing that had ever happened to me. But this need had had me in its grip for so long that I was having a hard time breaking free. Even for the sake of the woman I was meant to be with.

  “Deacon,” she whispered, beckoning me with her finger, “make love to me.”

  I stared at her, my blond goddess. My stomach clenched with concern over the pain I could cause her, terror over the anguish I would feel when and if she left me, and panic that there was something inside me I couldn’t control. I felt a desire so strong, a hunger so deep, only one thing could satiate it.

  “Yes.” I prayed that sinking inside her for the first time would mark a new beginning for me. I wanted it to end an unwanted chapter marked by meaningless sex and casual affairs. I was desperate to be the man she wanted me to be. “Are you on the pill, theia?”

  “Yes.” She nodded.

  I was scrupulous about being tested. With my sexual practices, even with the benefit of condoms, I couldn’t afford to be remiss. Being with Mia would mark the first time I’d ever taken a lover without a layer of latex between us, and I needed that. I needed it to be different with her.

  “You will be safe with me,” I whispered, gliding my lips over her cheek as I braced my body above her. “You trust me?”

  After a moment’s hesitation, she whispered, “Yes.”

  I eased inside her slowly, careful not to thrust too hard or deep until she was ready to take all of me. Every inch was an excruciating blend of pleasure and pain. I was so close to something I’d wanted for so long, yet it was still just beyond my reach.

  She moaned. “Mmmm… I love the way you feel.”

  Her sweet voice was like a tranquilizer, relaxing me and getting to the root of my pain. When I was seated fully inside her, I pulled her close, unable to move or breathe as I reveled in the moment and the depth of our connection. This was how sex was supposed to feel, not fast and furious thrusting as a means to a climax. This bone-deep, soul-mating connection was what I’d sought my entire adult life.

  “I love you, Deacon.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut as I moved slowly inside her, kissing her neck, gliding in and out in a slow, steady rhythm. She loved me. She loved me. She loved me. It sounded like a mantra inside my head. They were the only words that mattered, the only words I would ever need to hear to bring me satisfaction.

  “I love you too, Mia. More than you will ever know.”

  “Harder,” she whispered, clutching my back. “Faster. Please. I need more.”

  I leaned back, grabbing her wrists to pin her to the bed. Something snapped inside me. My woman needed something I wasn’t giving her, and it reminded me there were thousands, hundreds of thousands, of men who would line up to please her if I couldn’t.

  “You want it hard?” I growled, forcing my shaft deep inside her and stretching her to capacity. “You want it fast? Just remember you asked for this. Grab the headboard and don’t let go until I tell you to.”

  A look of trepidation mixed with excitement filled her eyes as she gripped the iron cut-outs in the walnut headboard. “Are you really as wild as they say you are?”

  She was taunting me? She was about to understand the error of her ways because I intended to take her so hard she would think of me with every step she took tomorrow. “You’re about to find out.”

  I gripped the headboard for leverage and rammed into her so deeply I was pretty sure the solid wood posts would leave a gaping hole in the drywall. I didn’t care. She wanted the animal to come out and play? She was about to find out just how wild I could get.

  “Oh, oh, Deacon… oh… I’m there. I’m right there.”

  I mercilessly rubbed that sensitive sweet spot with my fingertips long after her tremors had subsided while continuing the explosive onslaught like a man possessed. “Roll over on your stomach and grab the headboard again.”

  “But—”

  “Don’t ask questions! Just do it!”

  She scrambled to meet my demands, thrusting her bottom into the air.

  I grabbed her hips and resumed my maniacal thrusting before reaching around to find that tight bud again. “Again. Now.”

  “Deacon… no… I… can’t…”

  “Yes, you can.”

  “I…”

  “You want this, don’t you?” She was getting me even more turned on, and I knew that before long, she’d push me into a dark and dangerous place I wasn’t sure I wanted to take her.

  “Yes, oh God, yes.” She came apart in my arms again.

  Finding an easy rhythm that gave her pleasure while tilting her body to the perfect angle, I found that elusive spot that would prove to her no other man could make her feel the way I could.

  “Oh, I can’t. Not again.” She sounded frantic. “Please, not yet.”

  “Relax, sexy.” I kissed her neck, making her squirm while I reached a place inside her that made her scream out my name while her whole body tensed.

  She was panting, her voice broken. “Oh my… oh… I…”

  I loved hearing her mumble incoherently, totally out of control. It made me lose control.

  “Yes! Now!” I filled her as she throbbed around me, crying out my name again.

  Afterward, I rubbed her back before gathering her in my arms. “Release the headboard, theia.”

  “Deacon, that was…” She released a shaky laugh. “Oh my God, I don’t even know how to describe that.”

  “Good?” I rested her head on my chest. I’d ventured further than I’d intended. I’d wanted our first time together to be special, to show her how much she meant to me. Instead, I’d taken her like an animal, and guilt was seeping in.

  She ran her hand over my chest. “Amazing.”

  “I’m sorry if I…” I kissed the top of her head, struggling to find the words. I did not yet know how far she was willing to let me go, and while I wanted to eventually push her outside her comfort zone, I was afraid of crossing any lines too soon. “Crossed the line.”

  “You didn’t.” She pressed her warm lips against my chest. “It was everything I wanted and more, so much more. I imagined what it would be like, being with you.” She glided a fingertip over the ridges in my abdomen, outlining my six-pack. “But
I worried about being with someone like you. I didn’t know if I could handle it.”

  Reining in the rougher, more dominant part of myself would be hard, but I would do almost anything for her. “And?”

  “I want more.” She looked up at me, her big blue eyes glistening. “I don’t want you to feel you have to hold back with me. What you did to me, for me, it just made me hungry for more.”

  My heart pounded hard, my blood rushing through my veins, and I contemplated the possibilities. Very little had been off-limits in my life of sexual promiscuity, but when she said she wanted more, I needed her to define exactly what that meant. I couldn’t risk screwing up.

  “I liked the way you made me feel tonight. I liked watching you lose control.”

  I prided myself on being in control, on not allowing my urges to overtake my common sense, but whether she realized it or not, Mia was the one in control.

  “Why?”

  “You’re so powerful,” she whispered. Her hand shifted lower, tracing circles on my lower abdomen. “So in control all the time. You instill fear in people because of who you are and what you possess. Your feelings for me, the way you treat me, the way you lose control when you’re with me, that makes me feel powerful.”

  Kissing the top of her head, I tried to process the new facets of my personality she’d brought to the surface. I didn’t like them. I certainly wasn’t ready to embrace them, yet I couldn’t seem to suppress them. I’d been given a taste of the way sex could be with her, and I knew it was the start of a new chapter. Whether it would represent healing or a further descent into darkness, I wasn’t sure.

  She tipped her head back to look at me. “What are you thinking about? You’re so quiet. That’s not like you.”

  “I wanted Saturday night to be special,” I said, letting my mind wander into safer territory. “I wanted to bring you back here, give you the tour, enjoy a glass of champagne, soft music…” I kissed the tip of her nose, smiling. “Candles, flowers, everything you deserve.”

  “About Saturday...are we… I mean… will we be there together?”

  I frowned, tugging her hair gently until she was facing me again. “What are you talking about? Of course we will be there together. Why wouldn’t we be?”

  “I just wasn’t sure if you were ready to go public with our relationship yet.”

  “Mia, I love you. You’re mine. I want the world to know that.”

  She snuggled into me with a soft smile. “Good to know.” She pinched my side, making me squirm before I grabbed her hand. “By the way, I’m still mad at you for crashing my dinner with my brother.”

  “I won’t apologize for that,” I said, bringing her fingertips to my lips. “I told you I wanted the world to know you’re mine, starting with your family.”

  She groaned. “I haven’t even told my parents I’ve broken up with Drew. How will I explain to them I’m dating my boss?”

  I stroked her hair. “You’re going to tell them the truth—that you’ve met a man who worships you, would do anything in the world for you, and that he just happens to own the company that employs you.”

  “My father will probably hate you, just so you know.”

  My stomach clenched. Her parents’ opinion was important to her, so that could be a serious stumbling block. “Why would he hate me?”

  “He’ll think you’re exploiting me, taking advantage of me, trying to corrupt me.” She laughed as though the idea was preposterous.

  “Why would he think that?” I didn’t find any humor in the situation.

  “Because you pay me to model women’s underwear, not to mention the fact you’re twelve years older than I am. He’ll think you lured me away from Drew to have your wicked way with me.” Her eyes gleamed with amusement. She could probably tell by the tense set of my jaw that I wasn’t amused because she smacked my chest. “Lighten up, baby. I’m a grown woman. I can date anyone I want.”

  “Maybe, but would you marry a man your parents don’t approve of?” My grip on her tightened. I would never try to come between Mia and her family, but no one would keep me from her. Not even the people who’d brought her into the world.

  “You’re getting ahead of yourself.” She licked her lips as she fluffed her pillow and inched away from me. “I’m not ready to think about anything serious. I’m young—”

  “But I’m not.” I gripped her wrist when she tried to tuck her hand under her pillow. “As you so kindly pointed out, I’m thirty-five. I’m not getting any younger. In my culture, marriage and children are a given, even in this day and age. I don’t bend to my family’s will, but I want those things for myself. With you.”

  She inched back farther on the bed until she was at risk of tumbling onto the floor. “I understand that, but we just started dating. Marriage takes time—months, years.”

  “I don’t want to wait years to be with you,” I said, trying to inject a thread of calmness into my impatient tone. I didn’t want our conversation to spiral out of control, but she needed to understand where I stood, what my intentions were.

  She gestured between our bodies. “We’re together now. Can’t that be enough?”

  “I want you to join my family for dinner on Sunday.” I wasn’t acquiescing. In my mind, her meeting my family was one step closer to the commitment I wanted. “It’s a monthly ritual when we’re all in town. Please say you’ll come.”

  A slow smile spread across her face. “I’d love to meet your family.”

  One step closer—a mere million to go.

  Chapter Eleven

  Mia

  Eleni shrieked when she opened her door and saw me, making me question my strapless-dress-and-sandal combo for the tenth time since I’d put it on. The black dress accentuated my full bust, hugged my curves like a second skin, and ended just a few inches below my butt, which played peek-a-boo if I bent over. Coupled with the four-inch strappy black sandals, it sent a clear message: I was looking to hook up. Which I wasn’t! At least not with any guy in the club we had selected for our wild night on the town. Now, if Deacon invited me over for a midnight romp in his hot tub, I’d seriously consider it.

  “You think it’s too much?” I twirled a blond curl around my index finger. “I can change into something of yours.”

  “Get your hot self in here,” Eleni said, tugging me inside. “You’re gonna have every guy in that place falling all over themselves to buy you a drink.”

  “Please.” I rolled my eyes. “With you four around? I’ll fade into the background.” I knew we would all get our fair share of male attention tonight. Even though I wasn’t interested in hooking up, it might be fun to flirt. I hadn’t been out with the girls in a long time, and after the week I’d had, I was so ready to kick my heels up and have some fun.

  “So tell me what’s been happening with you.” Eleni touched up her lipstick in the mirror.

  “I had dinner with Chad last night.”

  “How is he?” Eleni asked.

  My best friend and brother had some serious sexual tension between them, and just thinking about them together made me kind of queasy. Eleni was a female version of Deacon. She was a serious player who loved to dominate her conquests, and I couldn’t picture my big brother as her… plaything. Eeewww.

  “He’s good. He met Deacon,” I said.

  Eleni looked at me in the mirror. “How’d that happen?”

  “My sexy psycho just showed up at the restaurant where we were having dinner.”

  “I’m guessing that wasn’t a coincidence?” she asked, smiling.

  I rolled my eyes. “You know Deacon. What do you think?”

  “Definitely not a coincidence.” She smacked her lips before turning to face me. “So how’d it go? Did he get the big-brother stamp of approval?”

  “Yeah, Chad seemed to like him, but I was pissed he just showed up like that,” I said, fluffing my soft waves in front of the mirror. “So I went over to his place to let him have it.”

  “And…?” Eleni roll
ed her hand. “Come on now, you can’t just leave a girl hanging.”

  “Let’s just say he let me have it.” I tried to keep a straight face. “Numerous times. In numerous positions.”

  “Shut. Up!” Eleni shoved my shoulder. “Tell me everything. Was he as good as they say he is? Did he rock your world?”

  It still bothered me that so many of my friends and co-workers were able to weigh in on my boyfriend’s sexual prowess, but it was something I’d have to learn to live with. He couldn’t change his past any more than I could. Of course, I didn’t have anything nearly as scandalous in my past. Maybe Eleni was right. Maybe I did need to get out more.

  “He was pretty amazing.” I pulled up my strapless dress when I noticed I was spilling out of the top. That was the only problem with strapless dresses—you spent half the night pulling them up and, after a few cocktails, giving all the boys a free show.

  “I knew he would be,” Eleni said, reaching for her small designer handbag on the couch. “You can’t look like that and be a dud in bed. That would be so wrong.”

  I laughed. “I guess you’re right. So we’re taking the limo tonight. Barry’s driving us. My man insisted.” I pulled a face, making her laugh. “He thinks I’m gonna get drunk and get abducted staggering home or something.”

  She slipped her lipstick into her purse. “Knowing you, you just might. We all know you can’t hold your liquor.”

  “Shut up,” I said, bumping her hip with mine as we walked out of her apartment. “Are we picking up the girls on the way, or are they meeting us there?”

  “They’re meeting us there.” Eleni locked her door before she asked, “So this Barry guy, is he hot?”

  I giggled. “He’s about fifty, married, with a grandkid on the way.”

  “Damn.” She punched the button for the elevator. “Oh well, guess I’ll just have to keep my options open tonight.”