His cousin stared. “Why on earth?”
“Because it’s a good hotel. And I did not want to be found.”
Devlin laughed. “Now, that I do understand. What have you done? Ravished a few debutantes? Ransacked a Spanish merchant ship or two?”
Alex’s lips twitched into a reluctant smile. “Ravishing debutantes isn’t my style. Nor is piracy.” He looked at his cousin thoughtfully. “I heard that you sailed into Plymouth last year with Spanish-gold candlesticks five foot tall strapped to your masthead.”
“You’re mistaken,” Devlin said, grinning. “That was Thomas Cochrane. I had a diamond chandelier swinging from the mainsail.”
“Hell’s teeth,” Alex said involuntarily. “Didn’t that interfere with your navigation? No wonder the Admiralty thinks you are a scoundrel.” He looked Devlin over. His cousin was wearing a flamboyant blue waistcoat that matched his eyes and had a pearl swinging from one ear. It should have looked effeminate but Devlin somehow managed to get away with it, possibly because he was so undeniably masculine. Alex shook his head. “And that pearl earring does not help matters,” he said. “Who are you modeling yourself on? Blackbeard? For God’s sake, remove it should you be planning to set foot before the board of the Admiralty.”
“The ladies love it,” Devlin said. He gave his cousin a sideways look. “Speaking of which, I thought you might be in town to find a bride.”
“Did you?” Alex said dryly.
“No need to cut me dead,” Dev said, unabashed. “Everyone knows that Alasdair’s death means that Balvenie is now in need of an heir, and as you have a taste for dangerous adventure you might wish to produce one before your next expedition.”
“That would be quick work,” Alex said.
“I can see you do not mean to tell me your plans,” Dev said.
“Well spotted.” Alex shrugged his shoulders irritably. His Scottish estate of Balvenie was indeed without an heir since his young cousin Alasdair Grant had died the previous winter. The lad’s death from scarlet fever, a tragedy in itself, had been a double blow since Alasdair had been the sole heir to the Grant barony. Alex, who had successfully managed to ignore the pressures on him to remarry and beget an heir whilst Alasdair was alive, was now uncomfortably aware that this was yet another responsibility, another duty he did not wish to perform. To take some simpering little debutante or some colorless widow and make her Lady Grant for the sake of a son was deeply repugnant to him. To remarry at all was the very last thing he wished to do. And yet what choice did he have if Balvenie was to be safeguarded for the future? He felt the guilt and obligation—those twin ghosts that always dogged his steps—press a little closer.
“I have no current matrimonial plans, Devlin,” he said a shade wearily. “I would make the devil of a husband.”
“Some might say you would be perfect,” Dev said. “Since you would be absent.”
Alex’s lips twisted with appreciation. “There is that, I suppose.”
Dev cast him another glance. “Anyway, I’m glad I found you, Alex. I could use some help from you just now.”
Alex recognized that tone of voice. It was the one Dev had used since he had been a child when his wild exploits had almost always led to Alex’s bailing his young cousin out of all manner of trouble. Dev was three and twenty now, but the wild exploits were the same and so, generally, were the dire consequences. His cousin, Alex thought, only escaped hanging by the skin of his teeth and by using his fabled charm.
“What is it this time, Dev?” he asked, exasperated. “You cannot possibly be strapped for cash with all your prize money. Have you seduced an admiral’s daughter? If so, my advice would be to marry her. It would be good for your career advancement.”
“Always your Scots Calvinist upbringing comes to the fore,” Dev said cheerfully. “I have seduced an admiral’s daughter, but I was neither the first nor the only one. Nor is that the problem.”
“Then you find me agog,” Alex said ironically.
There was a pause whilst Dev steered Alex down a side street and into a nearby coffee shop. The Turk’s Head was dark, hot and smelled richly of coffee beans and spices. They slid into a booth in a quiet corner, Alex ordering coffee and Dev chocolate.
“Chocolate?” Alex asked, inhaling the sweet scent of the steaming cup as it arrived.
“Be glad I didn’t order violet-flavored sherbet,” Dev said, laughing. “Francesca adores it.”
“How is your sister?” Alex inquired.
Dev’s mouth turned down slightly at the corners. “I don’t know. She doesn’t talk to me anymore. I think she’s sad.”
“Sad?” Alex was startled. Somewhere in the recesses of his body the guilt kicked him again. James and Francesca Devlin were his only close relatives now and he had barely seen them in the past couple of years. When their mother, his father’s sister, had died, he had salved his conscience by buying Devlin his commission and finding Francesca a home with a distant aunt to chaperone her, and had promptly departed overseas. He was not a rich man; he had only his navy salary and a small income from his Scottish estates, but he took his responsibilities seriously, materially at least. Emotionally it was a different matter. He wanted no dependents, no obligations. Such relationships were a burden. They held him back, chafing like wet rope against the skin. Always he wanted to get out of London, back to sea, to find some new quest and some new adventure, to escape…
Balvenie needs an heir…
There were some responsibilities that could never be escaped. Again Alex shrugged his shoulders to sough off the unwanted responsibility. Devlin was right, but he could not contemplate remarriage. It would be another burden, another unconscionable tie.
“Is there something Chessie needs?” he asked. “You should have told me if she required more money—”
“She doesn’t,” Dev said, giving him a very straight look. “You are more than generous to her, Alex.” He frowned. “It is company Chessie needs,” he said. “Aunt Constance isn’t much fun as a companion for a girl in her teens. Oh, she’s a very good sort of woman,” he added swiftly as Alex raised his brows, “but a bit too good, if you know what I mean. She spends half her time at prayer meetings, which is all very worthy but not very exciting for Chessie. And the poor girl wants a come-out ball next year, but I doubt Aunt Constance will agree to that. No doubt she would deem it too frivolous—” He broke off, fidgeting with his dish of chocolate, playing with the spoon. “Listen, Alex—” He looked up suddenly. “I need your help.”
Alex waited. Dev, he realized, was nervous.
“It’s to do with money,” Dev said suddenly. His frown deepened. “Well, sort of to do with money, if you take my meaning.”
“Not at all,” Alex said. “What happened to the proceeds from the diamond chandelier?”
“Spent long ago.” Dev looked defiant. “The thing is, I’ve sold out of the navy, Alex, and bought a share in a ship with Owen Purchase. Or at least I am trying to raise the funds to do so. We plan an expedition to Mexico.”
Alex swore. Owen Purchase had been a colleague of his at the Battle of Trafalgar, one of the Americans who had fought with them against the French. Purchase was an inspired sea captain, almost a legend, and he had always been a hero to Dev.
“Why Mexico?” Alex asked succinctly.
“Gold.” Dev matched his terseness.
“Poppycock.”
Dev laughed. “You don’t believe in tales of lost treasure?”
“No. And neither should you, and Purchase definitely shouldn’t.” Alex ran a hand through his hair. Would his cousin never grow up? He could not believe that Dev had thrown his commission away for a wild-goose chase. “For God’s sake, Dev,” he said with more edge than he had intended, “must you always be playing these mad, dangerous games?”
“It’s better than freezing my arse off in some snow-bound wilderness searching for a trade route that isn’t there,” Dev said, his candor taking Alex completely by surprise. “The Admiralty are
using you, Alex. They pay you some pittance to risk your life in the noble cause of empire and just because you feel guilty over Amelia’s death you let them send you to one godforsaken place after another—” He broke off as Alex made an involuntary movement of fury and raised his hands in a gesture of peace. “My apologies. I overstepped the mark.”
“Damn right you did.” Alex growled. He clamped down on his anger. He did not discuss Amelia’s death with anybody. There were no exceptions. And Dev’s blistering comments were too painful, too near the bone. Amelia had died five years previously and ever since then Alex had deliberately taken postings that had been as extreme, as reckless and as dangerous as he could find. He wanted nothing else. Even sitting here now with Dev he could feel the urge to escape, the desire to turn his back on all these tedious responsibilities and family burdens. It jarred him into guilt even as he wanted simply to take ship and set sail for wherever the wind blew him. But for now he was trapped in London anyway, hog-tied by the Admiralty whilst they decided what to do with him.
“One of these days,” he said, venting some of his frustrations by glaring at his cousin, “someone is going to put a bullet through you, Devlin, and it might well be me.”
Dev relaxed. “I don’t doubt it,” he said cheerfully. “Now, about the favor I’m asking…”
“You have a damned nerve.”
“Always, but…” Dev cocked a brow. “It’s easy and it won’t cost you a penny of your own money and after all, you owe it to me as the big brother I never had.”
Alex sighed. Even as he could feel himself softening toward his cousin he wondered how Dev managed to get round him so easily. But then, Dev could charm anything that moved.
“Your logic is faulty,” he snapped, “but do go ahead.”
“I need you to attend Mrs. Cummings’s rout this evening in Grosvenor Square,” Dev said.
Alex looked at him. “You’re joking.”
“I am not.”
“Then you do not know me very well even after twenty-three years,” Alex said. “I detest balls, routs, breakfasts and parties of all kinds.”
“You will love this one,” Dev said, grinning. “It is in your honor.”
“What?” Alex gave his young relative a withering look. “Now you have taken leave of your senses.”
“And you are turning into a curmudgeon,” Dev said. “You need to get out more and enjoy yourself. What did you have planned for tonight—an evening alone, reading a book in your hotel?”
That, Alex thought, was dangerously close to the mark and did make him sound like a superannuated older relative rather than a cousin with only nine years seniority.
“Nothing wrong in that,” he said.
Dev laughed. “But a rout will be much more fun. And Mr. Cummings is frightfully rich and I need to persuade him to sponsor my voyage to Mexico. So I thought…”
“I see,” Alex said, seeing exactly where this was going.
“Both Mr. and Mrs. Cummings are desperately keen on explorers,” Dev said in a rush, suddenly sounding very young. “They think you are most dashing. So when they discovered that I was your cousin, well… They promised to help me if I could persuade you to attend the rout…”
Alex rolled his eyes. “Devlin,” he said warningly.
“I know,” Dev said, “but I thought you would be attending anyway, since Lady Joanna Ware will be there and she is your mistress—”
“What?” Alex brought his coffee cup down with a crack that made the table shudder. “It’s the on dit,” Dev said. “I heard it from Lady O’Hara just before we met up. You’re the talk of the town.”
“Ah,” Alex said. “Yes.” By his calculations it had been all of an hour since John Hagan had left Half Moon Street. Evidently the man had lost no time in spreading the scandal of Lady Joanna Ware’s supposed liaison. Perhaps it served to smooth over his rejection to broadcast that Joanna Ware had another lover. Contempt for Hagan seared him.
“I admire your taste,” Dev was saying. He gave Alex a frank look. “I’d always heard Lady Joanna was cold as the grave—would have tried my luck if I’d thought otherwise.”
“You can give that idea up, infant,” Alex said very dryly. The sensation of masculine possession that gripped him when he thought about Joanna Ware was sharp and shocking. He realized that he had reacted entirely on instinct. It was an alien sensation. “And don’t speak disrespectfully of Lady Joanna either,” he added, wondering as he did so why on earth he felt the need to defend her.
Dev raised his brows. “Very vehement, Alex.”
“And she is not my mistress,” Alex finished testily.
“Then why the bad temper?” Dev grinned. “Or are you frustrated because she is not your mistress?”
“Enough,” Alex snapped.
Dev shrugged elegantly. “But you will be there tonight?” He did not quite manage to erase the note of pleading from his voice.
“You should have asked Purchase,” Alex said grimly. “He likes that sort of thing.”
“Purchase is dining with the Prince Regent,” Dev said. “An invitation which I understand you declined, Alex.”
“I hate all the celebrity nonsense.”
Dev laughed. “But this is different. This is for me.”
Alex thought about it. He did not approve of Dev’s decision to turn in his commission, but the damage was done now. He could try to dissuade his cousin from his harebrained Mexican scheme, but he doubted he would be successful; Dev had his own share of the family obstinacy. And Alex knew he ran the risk of looking a complete hypocrite if he played the role of heavy-handed older brother. It was true that he had pursued his own adventures with the approval and support of the King’s Royal Navy, but what real difference was there between a man seeking adventure under his country’s flag and one setting out to prove himself in a different way? Dev was motivated by courage and a quest for adventure and independence. And he was not running away from the ghosts of the past, a charge that Alex had to plead guilty to, in part at least.
Alex tapped his fingers impatiently on the table edge. As he had told Dev, he detested social events with a deep and abiding hatred. Yet if he attended the rout he could assuage a little of the guilt he felt over neglecting his family by helping Devlin.
And he would see Lady Joanna Ware again…
For a moment he felt as green as he had done as a teenager at Eton, hoping to catch sight of the housemaster’s daughter. The desire to see Joanna was very strong even as he acknowledged it was the single most foolish thing that he could do. If he wanted a woman he should buy a courtesan for a night, or two nights or however many nights it took to slake his lust. That would be straightforward, uncomplicated. Desiring David Ware’s tempting widow was neither of those things. The difficulty was that it was Joanna Ware he wanted, not some Covent Garden light skirt. He doubted that bedding a Cyprian would even take the edge off his hunger, for he did not want a whore. He could pretend that this lust was no more than the natural consequence of being away from female company for months on end, but if he told himself that he would know that he was a liar.
Joanna Ware. She was temptation incarnate. She was infuriating. She was forbidden to him. He disliked her.
He would go to the rout and see if she had the temerity to dismiss him as her lover to his face, in full public view.
He remembered that when David Ware had slipped the lawyer’s letter into his hand on his deathbed there had been a most peculiar, triumphant smile on Ware’s face and he had whispered:
“Joanna likes surprises, damn her…”
Alex doubted that Lady Joanna would be very pleased with this particular surprise. She had not expected to see him again. She disliked him equally as much as he disliked her.
Devlin was still waiting for his reply.
“Very well,” he said slowly. “Yes, I will be there.”
Chapter 2
“WHAT IS LORD GRANT LIKE?” Mrs. Lottie Cummings, ton hostess extraordinaire, scandalous ma
tron and one of Lady Joanna Ware’s dearest friends, ignored the guests piling into her reception rooms in favor of quizzing her friend on the shocking news of her affaire. “You know I have only ever heard tell of him, Jo darling, and have not even seen a portrait.”
“Well,” Joanna said, “he is tall.”
“So is my aunt Dorothea.” Lottie gave an impatient wiggle. “Dearest, you are going to have to do better than that.”
He is not really my lover… Why on earth had she let this go on for as long as it had? Why not simply say: “We are not lovers. It is all a hum…”
Joanna was not sure. Anger at Alex’s high-handed behavior, and what she acknowledged was a rather childish pettiness because he disapproved of her and disliked her, had made her want to punish him. It was a foolish game of tit for tat and unworthy of her. The trouble was that if she denied the liaison now it would cause almost as much of a sensation as the original announcement. Such were the rather superficial obsessions of society. And a deeper, more disturbing truth was that she actually liked the idea of Alex Grant as her lover, liked it all too well as she imagined what it might be like to take him to her bed, to feel his hands on her body, to give herself to him with all the abandoned desire she had never actually felt for a man before. She had loved David passionately when they had wed, but the intensity of her infatuation had never been matched by physical desire. When David had touched her she had felt vaguely anticipatory, as though something more exciting should be happening. Unfortunately it never did. And then the relationship had turned so hideously sour that she had never wanted David to touch her ever again.
In recent years—in most years, actually—her marriage bed had resembled the snowy wastes of the Arctic, pristine, empty and untouched, and having lost her illusions about David Ware, that was exactly how she had wanted it. She had been horribly lonely through the years of her marriage, a wife and yet no true wife, but even when David had died she had not trusted any man sufficiently to allow him close. And Alex Grant could not be that man. He was not for her. David had poisoned him against her, she was sure, and most importantly he was cut from the same cloth as David, an adventurer, an explorer, a man who would forsake his home and his family, and walk out into the unknown, leaving everything that should have been most precious and valuable to him behind.
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