by Paige North
“What?” My dad wraps an arm around me and leads me to the sofa. “What happened, kiddo?”
“I quit the job, Dad,” I take a deep breath. “I don’t think I want to be a lawyer anymore.”
He’s already shaking his head. “What? What made you make such a rash decision?’
“It wasn’t rash. I’ve thought long and hard about it.”
He stares at the ground for a while. “If law school is out, what do you want to do, then?” he asks me. “Have you thought about that?”
“I have, and I don’t know.” He starts to shake his head again, and I say, “But I know it’s not in Boston. I’m miserable there. I’m sorry. I know you’re disappointed but I just can’t lie about this anymore.”
I start to sob some more. He puts an arm around me. “Okay, okay, Katie. Just calm down. It’s okay.”
“I thought . . . “ I say between sniffles. “I know you are both leaving, but maybe I can stay here until I figure out what to do?”
He lets out a sigh. “Well, that’s a problem. We sold the house. We’re closing at the end of the summer.”
I swallow. “Really? So fast?”
Then my father says the most unhelpful thing ever: “Did you say anything that would make it impossible for your company to take you back?”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “Dad. No. I told my boss off. He’d never consider taking me back, and anyway, I don’t want to. I—“
“Well, rule one of the business world. Sometimes you have to learn how to swallow your pride and eat crow,” he says gently. “Besides, you want to stay here for good? In this one-horse town?”
I nod. “I do. I don’t mind it so much anymore.”
He studies me, something dawning in his eyes. “Oh, I see. Dax, right?” He stands up and distances himself from me. “Dax put you up to it.”
“No, I—“
His eyes scrape the ceiling. “I should’ve known. Even in high school it was the same thing. You started staying out past curfew, acting out, become a different person when you were seeing him. He’s always had that hold on you. But you’ve got to realize, you can do so much better—”
“I know, I know. I can do so much better than him. You tell me that all the time. But did you really even get a chance to know him?” He starts to speak, but I cut him off. “The real him, not the rumors. Because dad, I’m telling you, I have and . . . there’s no one better for me. No one. There can’t be.”
By the time I finish, tears are streaming down my cheeks.
“That’s just wonderful. So you’re going to stay here and . . . do what? You have so many opportunities, Katie, and you’re throwing them all away because some guy tells you to.”
I shake my head. “No, dad, you don’t get it. Do you know what he did? He told me to go back to Boston.”
My father snorts. “That’s the first intelligent thing I’ve ever heard him say.”
I throw up my hands. “That’s right, he is intelligent! You won’t give him the time of day!” I say, shocked to find myself still defending Dax, even as he walked away from me and rejected me yet again.
But I still continue, because my father needs to hear the truth. “He told me to go because he knows what you and everyone think of him. He thinks he can never measure up or be good enough for me. But he is good enough, Dad. He really is. I just need to make him see that.”
He sucks in a breath and lets it out slowly. “No. No, Katie. That Dax Harding is a dead end, and hell if I’m going to let me only daughter ruin her life by running off with him!”
He’d said nearly the exact same thing to me four years ago. But this time he’s not going to scare me away, because I’ve seen more of the world now, and I know better.
“Dad,” I say gently. “You don’t have any say. I’m an adult now. And you have to let me do this.”
He won’t look at me. His face is rigid as I plant a kiss on his cheek. I grab my things and climb the stairs to my empty bedroom.
Lying on my bare mattress that morning, I’m both thrilled and scared to death at the prospects. Even in this one-horse town, I’m more excited about the future than I ever was in Boston. I throw a plan together in my head. I’ll go through the online want ads and see what places nearby are hiring. Then I’ll look for an apartment in the center of town—the ones across the street from Murphy’s looked cheap. Maybe my parents will front me the money for a security deposit.
I’ll show Dax I’m not going to leave again.
Am I crazy for planning all of this when Dax himself has basically told me that he doesn’t want to do this? That he doesn’t believe we’re right for each other?
I don’t know, but I do know that I’m finally willing to fight for him, and then we’ll see if he will step up for me in return…
My phone starts to ring on the floor near my mattress. I inspect the display and my heart lodges in my throat. Speak of the devil.
I pick up. “Katie,” he drawls. He doesn’t have to say more. I know he’s drunk. I just hope he didn’t end up screwing that blonde before calling me. I pray he’s better than that.
“You didn’t go back to Boston,” he says, after a bit of silence. He just knows, he didn’t even need to ask.
“I told you, I’m not going back,” I tell him. “With or without you, I’m done with Boston. I’m staying here for good.”
“You’re fucking up your life. You know that, right?”
“Everyone keeps telling me that. But I don’t care. I told you, I don’t care anymore what people say. Even you. Maybe I won’t be a douchebag lawyer like my boss, but I’ll get over it.”
A pause. “Katydid?”
“Yeah?”
“I want to show you something tomorrow. Will you be around?”
My heart skips. “I said I’m not going anywhere.”
His voice is uncharacteristically excited. “That’s good, because I think you’re going to want to see this.”
I smile. Anything Dax wants to show me, I want to see.
I sneak downstairs and out the door before my parents can even know I’m gone. Dax only says “hey” when I get inside the car, his eyes running the length of my body, catching on my bare thighs beneath my frayed denim skirt. He’s done that every time, but this time, it’s even more noticeable as I grab hold of the handle and hoist myself in.
“What?” I ask him.
“Nothing,” he says, pulling out of my driveway. But it’s definitely something weighing on his mind. The ride to wherever we’re going is quiet, almost icy. He makes a series of turns that get us to the center of town, but keeps driving once we hit Murphy’s on Main Street. We end up almost near the interstate.
I can tell he’s fidgety, maybe even nervous about wherever it is that he’s taking me.
Where the hell are we going?
Without warning, he hooks a right and pulls into a large parking lot. There’s a large, gleaming white building there, but the windows are boarded up. The lawn in the front is overgrown, and the sign on the front is covered with graffiti. He pulls into the first parking spot and cuts the engine. “What do you think of it?”
“Uh. Wow. It’s a lovely abandoned building in the middle of nowhere. Why are we here?” I ask him, sliding off my seatbelt and pushing open the door.
He grins. “Come on.”
I join him on the sidewalk in front of the building and it’s then that I notice the Available sign in one of the windows. Suddenly it hits me. I whirl around to look at him.
Dax starts talking. “The guy who built this place misjudged how much space he was going to need to house his automotive business. Upkeep killed him. He was looking for something a lot smaller,” he says, kicking the curb with the toe of his boot. “And it just so happens that I’m looking for something bigger to house my business.”
It sounds almost too good to be true. “You’re going to buy this place? But how?”
“I’m tossing the idea around. My mom put money in trust for us befor
e she died. Money she wouldn’t let my dad touch. A lawyer contacted me last month and told me how much it was, and I nearly fell off my chair, Katydid. Sixty-thousand dollars.”
My jaw drops.
“I’m sending Vincent to college with half of it. But the other half is going to be my down payment,” he says. “At least, that’s where my head is right now. I’m putting the offer in today. You’re the first person to hear it, so let me have it. What do you think? Stupid?”
He takes my hand and guides me through the broken parking lot, toward the arched entrance. The building is probably three times the size of Harding’s garage, and even boarded up, in much better condition. I shake my head. “No, not even remotely stupid. More like perfect.”
He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as he leads me to the side, where there are six garage bays. One of the garage doors is slightly open. “My dad would say stupid.”
“This isn’t your dad’s money,” I tell him. “It’s yours.”
“It’s my brothers’ too. I want to do right by them. I think they’ll be into this. And besides, I have to move on with my life. You know, be a real adult and shit.” He grins at me, and his grip on my hand tightens. “Embrace change.”
I stare at him, hardly daring to believe what he’s saying. “Really?”
He tries to lift the half-open garage door, but it seems permanently stuck in place. He bows in half and ducks underneath, motioning me to follow. When I do, we’re in an enormous garage that easily dwarves his old one. Despite being abandoned, it’s already cleaner and brighter, too. The walls are painted white and a covered with framed photographs of fancy sports cars. He guides me over some equipment and into an office and waiting room area that’s already full equipped with all the necessary furniture. Sure, it’s musty and covered in layers of dust right now, but I have no trouble picturing him at the front desk, or working on cars here. I have no trouble seeing the waiting room full of customers.
“Come with me. I haven’t showed you the best part,” he says, his voice echoing slightly in the space.
He leads me out of that area to a door marked EMPLOYEES ONLY. When he opens it, he flips on the lights and I find that we’re in a little apartment. I walk down the narrow hall, peering at the kitchen with the gas stove, the small bathroom with the outdated pink tile, and a small living room with a misshapen, rust-colored couch, and something sticks in my brain.
It’s the thought of us sharing this place together. Of me making him coffee in the morning. Of us elbowing each other out of the way, trying to brush our teeth before bed. It’s stupid, because I doubt Dax wants that right now, but it makes me smile anyway. “This is great!” I announce.
“Yeah,” he says, once we’ve stopped at the end of the tour. “So when I’m done working, I can just crash here instead of having to drive home.”
Suddenly, the idea of us living here together pops like a cartoon thought bubble over my head. “Oh. Right. It’ll be useful for that.”
He leans on the door to the outside and says, “Are you ready?”
“For what?” I raise an eyebrow and motion to the apartment. “I thought this was the best part.”
“Nah. I mean, that’s good, but it’s not the best part.”
I grin, curious to see what has him hanging on the door like he’s about to pull back the curtain on a brand new car. He does a one-two-three countdown and pushes the door with the weight of his body, opening us up to a rolling field, dotted with yellow dandelions.
I gasp. It looks just like the field outside Harding’s garage. Like the place where I fell in love with him. That’s what it is. I know that now. I love him.
Why else would I have come all the way back here?
“Okay, this is definitely the best part,” I say, breathless as he takes my hand.
A stiff breeze is blowing, and since it’s barely eight in the morning, the grass is coated with dew and there’s a chill in the air. But with his warm hand in mine, I don’t feel cold. He guides me down a slope in the hill, then takes off the flannel shirt over his t-shirt and lays it down on the grass like a blanket. When I kneel on it, he says, “When I saw this, I thought it was a sign. Do you think so?”
I nod as he sits down beside me, lying back on his elbows.
Suddenly I’m transported to four years ago, when he and I used to spend those lazy afternoons after school behind his garage, with nothing else but the warm sun on our skin and insects buzzing around us. “It was me,” he says, looking up at the lightening sky.
“Huh?” I fall to my backside and hug my knees to my chest.
“All those years ago. I was an asshole. You said you were leaving, and damn, all I wanted to do was hold you here. But everyone was saying that was where your future was and who the hell was I to deny you your future?” He lets out a long, heavy breath. “So I let you go and damned if I haven’t regretted it every day since. I even went all the way there to tell you that.”
I stiffen. “What?”
“Couple times. I wanted to tell you I made a mistake. I stood outside your dorm. Each time I chickened out.”
“You came to my dorm?” I squeak out in surprise. All this time we were in Boston, he never said he’d been there before. “Really? I kept wishing you would show up. I wanted you to, Dax.”
He tilts his head back to the sky. “I keep letting you go, and you keep coming back. And last night I got to thinking there’s a reason for it. That you’re meant to be here, with me.”
I nod, tears pricking my eyes. “I was always doing what everyone wanted me to do. Not what I wanted. Even at school, the more I kept going down that path, the more I wished I’d told my parents what I wanted, then.”
“What did you want, Katydid?” he asks softly.
I reach behind me, my fingers tangling with his. “You. I’ve always wanted you.”
A slow smile spreads across his face. “Well, you have me now. What are you going to do with me?”
I grin. “I’m sure I can think of something.”
He takes a hold of the silky fabric of my camisole and gently tugs me toward him. “Get up here, girl.”
“Wait,” I say.
“Yeah?” he asks, brow creasing.
“I just need to ask. That blond girl from the bar—“
He shakes his head, a crooked grin turning into a laugh. “No way, Katie. She aint my type. Not even close. I got shitfaced and went home, passed out for a while and then called you. That’s it.”
I scramble up and throw my leg over his body, straddling him. My skirt rides up, exposing the V of my red lace underwear. “Promise me that this is real?” I whisper.
He watches this intently, then presses a finger right into my slit through the fabric. I’m already wet, my body aching for him, so I squirm closer to his touch. He lets out a groan. “The realest thing I ever felt.”
I start to wiggle on top of him, feeling his erection pressing against me, sending fireworks straight up to my core. I hike up my skirt and put a finger on the strap on either hip. “I can take them off.”
“No,” he murmurs, his fingers sliding across my wet slit, making me squirm against him. I reach for his belt buckle, undoing his belt and the snap of my jeans. “I like them. Keep them on. He puts his head back and stares up at the sky. “You gonna ride me, girl?”
I nod, biting my lower lip as I unzip his fly and pull his jeans open. I think. I slide down his boxers and his cock springs free. “Condom?” I ask.
He motions to his pocket.
I reach in and pull it out, rolling my eyes. “You were totally planning this.”
He gives me that trademark innocent-mischievous look I can’t get enough of. I tear open the condom and hold his cock up erect. He rests his weight on his elbows and watches me intently, a sly smile on his face. “You ever done this before?”
I nod, intently squeezing the tip and settling it down over his cock, sliding it over his sheath. “Sex Ed. Banana,” I explain, rolling it down to the base, then p
roudly inspecting my handiwork. “This good?”
He grins. “That was one lucky banana. You good?”
I nod, pushing into place on my knees until I’m directly over his cock. I lift it and position it at my entrance, then slowly slide down onto it. And there it is, that fullness, that amazing feeling that tells me I’m home.
He sits up, pulls off his t-shirt, and takes my mouth in a hot, demanding kiss. “Fuck, Katie. Never thought I’d be here again.”
“I did,” I whisper, laying my chin on his shoulder as the insects buzz around us. “We belong together, Dax.”
“Yeah,” he admits, reaching under my camisole to cup my breast. “We do.”
I lift up onto my knees, push aside the barely-there fabric of my thong, lowering myself down onto him, riding him as he buries his face in my neck. I lift up, pausing with him just barely inside me, hovering there, letting him groan in frustration. His hands slide around me, cupping my ass, begging me to push down again.
Then I do, hard, so hard I feel him nearly in my throat. He lets out a groan.
“Fuck, girl. Ride me like that,” he says, in a voice not even a whisper. He lifts me, lowering me, until I get into a deep rhythm, and then he lets me go. “You’ve got it. Do your own thing. Whatever feels good.”
So I do. Fully stretched by his cock, I slide myself back and forth on him, rubbing my clit against his skin. I bounce up and down, my hard nipples rubbing against his bare, hard chest through my tank top. That, and the cool, dewy morning air on my skin is enough to set every inch of me into a state of overdrive. It’s almost too much arousal. Soon I’m on my way to completely lost, tossing aside all inhibitions, building to that point where nothing else matters but sensation. We tangle our hands through each other’s hair and grasp for each other desperately, and soon I’m screaming out his name. We come together, at once, our bodies pressed together, panting and trembling.
“Damn girl,” he says. “This, here? It’s my favorite place on Earth.”
I laugh. “Then let’s not move.”
So we don’t. At least, not right away. We stay that way for what seems like forever, until my legs are numb. I peel myself off him and collapse amidst the grass and dandelions.